Having the Cowboy's Baby

by Stella Bagwell

  He inclined his head. “Tell me. I want to know.”

  She drew in a ragged breath and let it out. “I met Ian at Saint Mary’s, our family church. He showed up at service one Sunday morning and introduced himself to the congregation saying he was from South Carolina and that he was making his way across the United States doing missionary work. He was my age, good-looking and charming in a quiet way. Everybody liked him and exclaimed over his good works in the church. He volunteered for all sorts of charity activities and was always ready to help.”

  “Sounds too good to be true.”

  Anne-Marie grimaced. “You’re right. Of course no one knew that at first — except Father. He had his suspicions. And I guess I didn’t want to believe him. I thought he was simply trying to find fault with Ian because he was being protective.”

  Cordero glanced at her. “So why did you start dating the guy if you were planning on entering a convent? I don’t understand.”

  With a shameful groan, Anne-Marie passed a hand over her face. “Oh, Cordero, I’m sure you’ve seduced a woman before. Well, Ian set out to seduce me. Only I didn’t see it coming. I was innocent and naive. By the time I fell in love with him, I had convinced myself that God had chosen a different path for me. I thought marrying Ian and helping him with missionary activities would be just as meaningful.”

  Staring at the highway in front of them, Cordero said, “I see. So you loved this man? You wanted to marry him?”

  Another sigh slipped past Anne-Marie’s lips. “At that time I believed I did. But I…now I think I was simply infatuated with him and with the idea of having a wonderful marriage like my parents had.”

  He darted a glance at her. “So what happened? How did you find out the truth?”

  As the unsettling memories washed over her, she folded pleats in the hem of her dress. “Quite by accident, really. He was working on some bookkeeping, or supposedly so, in one of the offices in the back of the church. I overheard him talking on the phone.” She frowned. “The old adage that eavesdroppers usually hear things they don’t want to hear was certainly true in my case.”

  “But you listened anyway.”

  “Yeah,” she said, her voice dripping with disgust. “From his words and his tone I could tell he was talking to a woman, one that he was very familiar with. Apparently she wanted him back, but Ian told her he’d found a ‘little gold mine’ — meaning me — and as soon as he got a ring on my finger he would be living on easy street.”

  “Bastard.”

  Dropping her head, she said quietly, “I was so stricken I couldn’t think of what to call him. Then later, when we were away from the church, my anger hit me and I lashed out at him in a horrible way.”

  “It couldn’t have been horrible enough,” Cordero said grimly. His fingers tightened around the wheel. “He needed to be beaten within an inch of his life.”

  “No,” she said with a shake of her head. “I shouldn’t have been led astray. I was the one at fault. For giving in to carnal urges. For thinking that love was more important than my duty to the church.”

  Shocked by that remark, Cordero’s gaze left the highway to stare at her. “Not hardly! You were only behaving like any normal woman. The guy was a leech. A loser. Back home we have a good remedy for men like him.” He lifted his right hand from the steering wheel and made a hard fist.

  It suddenly became clear to her that Cordero was a man who would always uphold his principles. He would lay his life on the line to protect the woman he loved. His outrage over Ian’s behavior exposed his true ethics, and she couldn’t help but admire him even more.

  She said, “Well, I’m sure Ian’s faced a few threatening fists in the past year or so. He’s in prison now.”

  Stunned by this revelation, Cordero’s foot unconsciously eased on the accelerator, making the car slow to a crawl. “Prison! How? Why?”

  Anne-Marie’s lips twisted with regret. “After our breakup he left town. In fact, he left only hours afterward. I thought he’d run because he didn’t want to face Father’s wrath. But that wasn’t the case. A few days later, Father Granville discovered a large amount of money missing from a safe kept in the church. It was pretty obvious who took it. The police picked up Ian’s trail and discovered there were several warrants out on him for fraud and other crimes. Eventually they caught him in another state and he was later convicted.” She shook her head in shameful dismay. “Oh, Cordero, he’d told me he was from a nice, prominent family in South Carolina, but in reality he was a drifter with no home. With nothing really, but a sweet, deceitful line.”

  Long moments passed in silence and then he reached across the seat and folded her hand in his. “I’m so sorry, Anne-Marie. But you shouldn’t feel ashamed because this happened to you. You made a bad choice. Everybody does from time to time. We have to forgive ourselves and move forward.”

  “I have forgiven myself, Cordero. But I…can’t trust myself. My judgment, my purpose in life, everything was shaken after that. I guess —” she looked at him through misty eyes “— when you accused me of running and hiding, you were right. I’m afraid. It terrifies me to think of trusting another man. That’s why I’ll never fall in love again. I’ll never get married. Focusing on my missionary work is the right thing to do. The safe thing to do.”

  “Is that really the way you want your life to be?” he asked softly.

  She looked away from him and swallowed as tears burned in her throat. “It’s the only way it can be.”

  Chapter Eight

  For the remainder of their trip home, Cordero made a point of turning their conversation to lighter subjects. After a while he actually had Anne-Marie smiling and laughing over antics he and his brother had pulled at the ranch. But he couldn’t quit thinking about the man who’d deceived her and broken her spirit.

  As far as Cordero was concerned, prison was too good for someone so evil. The man’s incarceration couldn’t repair the damage he’d done to Anne-Marie. Cordero wasn’t sure what or who could repair her, but he could now see why Jules had gone to such lengths to shake his daughter out of her doldrums.

  A few minutes later, they arrived at Cane’s Landing. Except for a porch light, the house was dark.

  As he always did, Cordero offered her his arm as they walked to the house. This time, as they made their way through the shadows, he was acutely aware of her hand clinging to his forearm and the way her small body leaned closer than usual.

  This evening had drawn them closer. He was sure of that. But did she want to be closer?

  From the moment he’d first met Anne-Marie, thoughts of undressing her and making love to her had gouged him from all directions. Getting her into his bed had been a goal he’d quickly set for himself. Yet now that he’d learned about the heartache she’d endured, he wasn’t at all sure about the decency of his motives.

  With a mental shake of his head, Cordero silently cursed himself. Hell, since when had he ever worried about the consequences of having sex with a beautiful woman? What had come over him anyway? He wouldn’t break Anne-Marie’s heart. She wasn’t in love with him, and he wasn’t lying and making promises of marriage and babies.

  Once inside, Anne-Marie crossed the room to switch on a lamp. Cordero was deeply aware of the empty spot by his side.

  Turning back to him, she asked, “Would you like coffee before you go to bed?”

  During the drive home, tendrils of her copper hair had escaped their pins and now curled loosely upon her shoulders. Her dusky lips were bare, her eyes sleepy. Desire struck him hard and pushed his boots across the polished floor to where she stood waiting for his answer.

  “No.” He curved his hands along the back of her upper arms. “Come here — to me.”

  “Cordero.”

  She said his name with a mixture of longing and regret. Focusing on that first emotion, he tugged her forward until her body brushed the front of his.

  “You know that I want you,” he murmured. “And I believe you want me just
as much.”

  “I can’t,” she said in a choked voice.

  Bending his head, he brushed his parted lips against the tender line of her neck. She shivered in his arms.

  “I’m not the devil, Anne-Marie. And I’m not that bastard who’s rotting away in prison. I’m just a flesh-and-blood man who wants to make love to you.” His lips slipped up to her ear. His tongue gently laved the lobe before tracing a damp, tantalizing path along the outer edge. “Let me show you how it can really be.”

  Anne-Marie knew she should resist the sensual fog settling over her but when she opened her mouth to protest the words wouldn’t come. And before she could shove them past her throat, it was too late. His lips had worked their way across her cheek and onto her lips.

  The moment he kissed her, Anne-Marie felt everything inside her start to burn and melt like a lighted candle fed by a soft breeze. Her hands flattened against his chest, then slid upward until her fingers curled over his shoulders. Her lips parted and her senses reeled as his tongue glided along the roof of her mouth. A groan vibrated in her throat as she arched her body into his.

  The invitation sent Cordero’s hands to her bottom. He clutched the rounded curves and crushed her hips up to his. The intimate contact shot a flame straight to his loins and he knew she could feel his burgeoning desire shoving at the denim of his jeans.

  With slow rocking movements, he ground her against him while his mouth made sweet, urgent love to hers. Hot blood surged in his veins and thrummed through his body like an erotic drumbeat. Her scent, her skin, the soft supple curves of her body were like sips of wine slowly and surely intoxicating his senses. The more he had, the more he wanted.

  With one hand still anchoring her hips to his, the other traveled to her bodice where his fingers climbed the multitude of pleats until they touched the incredibly soft flesh above the fabric. The delicate cleavage only kindled the need to explore her breasts with his hands, his mouth.

  Until then Anne-Marie had given him free rein. She’d invited rather than resisted. But the moment his fingers found the zipper at the back of her dress, she felt as if cold water had gushed from the ceiling, waking her from a trance.

  Twisting her mouth from his, she used her hands to leverage her body backward and away from his.

  “I — I’m sorry, Cordero. I can’t — can’t do this!” With a shameful groan, she whirled past him and raced up the staircase.

  Cordero followed, his boots taking two stairs at a time as he tried to catch up to her. “Anne-Marie, wait! Stop!”

  Ignoring his plea, she rushed into her bedroom and slammed the door just as he was about to follow her over the threshold. If he’d not been quick on his feet, the wall of wood would have smashed him in the nose. Which probably wouldn’t have hurt him nearly as badly as her rejection.

  Rapping his knuckles on the door, he called to her in a low voice, “Anne-Marie. Open the door. We need to talk about this.”

  “No, Cordero. Not tonight. Please.”

  Drawing in a heavy breath, he raked a hand through his hair. Everything inside him wanted to argue, to plead with her to open the door and step back into his arms. But she obviously wasn’t ready for that. And if he was ever going to have her, he wanted it to be by her inviting him all on her own. Maybe that would never happen, but any other way would be meaningless.

  “Good night, Anne-Marie,” he murmured to the closed door, then turned and walked to his own bedroom.

  The late night with Cordero caused Anne-Marie to sleep later than usual the next morning. By the time she pushed herself out of bed and got down to the kitchen for breakfast, Darcella informed her that their guest had already left for the stables.

  Sipping at a cup of hot coffee, Anne-Marie leaned her hip against the cabinet. “Oh. Well, I hadn’t intended to sleep so late. You should have woken me, Darcella.”

  The cook opened the dishwasher and placed several dirty bowls inside. “Mr. Cordero told me not to. He said you were probably tired from all the dancing you two did last night.”

  Darcella tossed Anne-Marie a naughty grin. “I didn’t know you knew how to dance. What else are you holdin’ back from me?”

  Only that she’d nearly made love to their houseguest, Anne-Marie thought with despair. One more kiss and she would have given him anything and everything.

  “I don’t really know how to dance, Darcella. Cordero was just nice enough to guide me around the floor and keep me from falling.”

  The other woman chuckled. “Well, maybe you’re finally going to learn what it’s like to have a little fun.”

  Fun wasn’t her lot in life. The one time she’d tried it had ended in painful shame. Frowning, Anne-Marie grabbed a plate from the cabinet and went over to the stove where Darcella had left scrambled eggs and biscuits in a warmer.

  “Darcella don’t start thinking this is going to change things. I’m not a fun girl.”

  Turning away from the double sink, Darcella folded her arms across her breasts as she studied Anne-Marie. “Humph. Like you needed to remind me of that,” she said with something close to a snort. “If you get the tiniest smile on your face you feel guilty. If you laugh you think someone ought to put you in chains. When are you ever going to forgive yourself, Anne-Marie?”

  Anne-Marie’s shoulders slumped as she ladled food onto her plate. “Darcella, now is not the time to start in on me about —”

  “Now is the perfect time,” Darcella interrupted with unusual temper. “Mr. Cordero will only be here for a few days. If you don’t make the most of his company then — well, then you’re not nearly the woman your mother was.”

  Her lips set in a grim, silent line, Anne-Marie marched outside and took a seat on the side porch to eat her breakfast. But the eggs and biscuits were tasteless as she chewed. She didn’t know why Darcella had made such a heartless remark. Especially when it had always been obvious to Anne-Marie, and most everyone else, that she could never hold a light to Fiona Duveuil. Had it been necessary for the cook to remind her?

  Fiona had been beautiful and intelligent, compassionate and full of life. She’d chosen a good loving man for a husband and had given him a child, even as she had served the church and others who’d been in need. She’d done everything right — except dying and leaving Anne-Marie without a mother.

  Trying not to dwell on that sober memory, Anne-Marie finished the food on her plate and was about to go back into the house when Darcella appeared with a portable phone in her hand.

  “It’s Miss Audra.” Her expression distant, Darcella handed the receiver to Anne-Marie then turned and went back into the house.

  Sighing, Anne-Marie put the phone to her ear. “Hello, cousin.”

  “Hello, yourself. Sorry for interrupting your breakfast, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I wanted to know how your night on the town went.”

  Anne-Marie closed her eyes. Darcella and Audra were behaving as though Anne-Marie had never gone on a date in her life. Which was ridiculous. As a teenager, she’d dated on several occasions. She’d even enjoyed male companionship. Yet she’d always had her heart set on devoting her life to her faith. Until Ian, she thought bitterly. And after him, even a casual date had felt repulsive to her. But now, with Cordero, she was feeling things, thinking things, she never had before. She could only wonder if something inside her was collapsing or merely waking up.

  “It was very nice.”

  Audra let out an impatient huff. “That’s all? Just nice? Can’t you tell me more?”

  Leaning back in her chair, Anne-Marie absently combed her fingers through her hair. “Audra, believe me, it couldn’t compare to one of your dates. But we had a lovely supper at a little place on Bourbon Street and then Cordero surprised me by taking me to a warehouse where a live band played zydeco and Cajun music.”

  “Don’t tell me you danced!” Audra exclaimed.

  A dreamy smile lifted the corners of Anne-Marie’s lips. “Several times. I was surprised that it came back to me. I didn’t step on
his toes even once.”

  “Lord, lord, am I out of bed or am I still dreaming?” Audra teased. “And how could dancing come back to you when you sat through your whole senior prom?”

  Anne-Marie had to laugh. How could she not when the day was sunny and bright and Cordero was still here on the plantation? Somehow just knowing he was close made each minute special.

  “Well, it did. And I enjoyed myself, Audra. I really did. Cordero is — well, special.”

  “Now you’re making some sense,” Audra said with approval. “So now what? Does the man seem interested — I mean, romantically?”

  Even though Audra was miles away, her question was enough to color Anne-Marie’s face with embarrassed heat. There was no way her cousin could know that she’d come close to giving in to Cordero’s kisses and inviting him up to her bedroom.

  Her sigh was unconsciously wistful. “Audra, the man is interested. But not romantically. He, uh, he’s not looking for long-term with any woman. And since we live hundreds of miles apart, he certainly isn’t going to be looking at me in that light.”

  “Oh. But you say he is interested. That must mean sex. Is that what you’re trying to tell me? The man wants to get you into his bed?”

  Leave it to Audra to blurt out the obvious, Anne-Marie thought drily. “That pretty much sums it up.”

  Audra released a wicked little laugh. “Honey, that’s a great start. The love part will come later.”

  “Audra!” Anne-Marie primly scolded. “I’m not looking for the love part or any part from Cordero.”

  Her voice suddenly going serious, Audra retorted, “Really, Anne-Marie? Are you being honest with me? Because I don’t think so. I saw the way you looked at him. You had a light in your eyes that I’d never seen before. Maybe you’d better think long and hard before you dismiss your feelings.”

  Anne-Marie had never heard her cousin talk so seriously before and the idea shook her.

  “I’ll think, Audra,” she promised. “Right now I’ve got to get off the phone. We’ll talk later.”