by Haemin Sunim
with as much humility and grace as we can muster.
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*
Even though it seems like the night will go on forever,
at a certain point the days start getting longer.
Even though it seems suffering will continue without end,
at a certain point it will ease up, or we will learn to accept it.
Meanwhile, we will learn a valuable lesson from that suffering.
Nothing in this world lasts forever, not even our suffering.
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*
If life were free of adversity,
we wouldn’t have many opportunities to grow.
It’s in struggling to solve the challenges that life throws at us
that our talents are honed and our endurance builds.
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*
Difficulties on the journey of life
prompt us to reexamine our lives
and think of those who are experiencing similar ones,
and so they become a foundation for cultivating compassion.
May the difficulties you are currently experiencing
lead to wisdom and compassion!
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*
“Even if someone I helped in the past,
or I expected greatness from, causes me grave harm,
may I consider him my greatest teacher.”
—HIS HOLINESS THE DALAI LAMA
* * *
*
When seen up close,
we all appear full of problems and inconsistencies.
Our actions often contradict our words.
Depending on whom we are speaking to,
we change our story or profess different values.
We are nice to strangers but not to our family.
The first step to maturity is becoming aware through introspection
of our own shortcomings.
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*
Spiritual maturity
involves facing the most disagreeable parts of yourself
and acknowledging their existence.
Once you accept the selfish, greedy,
and even violent sides of yourself,
you will be able to understand others
and forgive their flaws.
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*
The more we mature,
the more we see how much others have contributed
to those successes we have called our own.
When we realize how much we owe to others
and express our deep and sincere gratitude,
the next success will follow.
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*
The way to avoid becoming servile before others
who have power, fame, or money
is to be happy with your life.
If there is nothing you need from those people,
you can be confident and dignified with whomever you meet.
When you want something from them, you become servile.
* * *
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The opposite of greed is not abstinence
but knowing how to be content.
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The voice that criticizes and berates me
is much louder than the one that cheers me on.
When times are tough,
that cheering voice can get drowned out.
But keep listening.
After your critics have moved on to criticize someone else,
you will start to hear those who have stayed behind,
steadily cheering you on.
* * *
*
If there are nine good things and one bad thing in our lives,
we’ll expend more energy focusing on the one bad thing
than on all that good.
This is a habit left over from primitive times,
when our ancestors needed to be
constantly on the lookout for danger.
If you discover yourself focusing on the bad, tell yourself:
“It’s not the prehistoric era anymore.
Worry about bad things when they happen, not before.”
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*
One of our deepest fears
is that when we show ourselves as we are,
we will be rejected.
We find it hard to open the door of our heart
even to our closest friends.
Because we carry that burden alone,
it can’t help but weigh us down.
When someone opens the door to their heart
and shows themselves as they are,
do not judge them; warmly accept them.
None of us is perfect.
* * *
*
Unless there’s a real emergency,
backseat drivers ought to keep quiet.
Everyone has their own way of driving.
If you leave the driving to the driver
and talk about something interesting
until you reach your destination,
everyone will be happy!
* * *
*
People often think
that their way of doing things is the right way.
If they see something being done in a way that is not their own,
they jump in to tell others they’re doing it wrong.
But other people’s ways are not wrong,
only unfamiliar to you.
Try doing something in a way that is different from your way.
A new world will open up to you.
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*
When somebody annoys you,
recognize that you feel annoyed because
they didn’t do something the way you wanted it done.
They may have their own reason for doing something their way,
which you should not disregard and try to replace with your own.
If you think about it from their perspective,
you’re the one causing the problem.
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*
We suffer as we put off
the things we ought to finish today.
Pick a specific time today
when you will do whatever you’ve been putting off,
and when the time comes,
don’t make excuses, don’t get distracted—
just do it.
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*
If you’re not sure whether to do something,
ask yourself whether it will weigh heavily on you if you don’t do it.
If it will, then best just to do it.
Otherwise, you will spend more time agonizing over excuses.
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*
If I come across a book I want to read, I just buy it.
I don’t have to read it right away; as long as it’s there on my shelf,
I will get to it at some point.
Even if it’s a doorstop of a novel, or a complex work of philosophy,
the time will come when I will be able to enjoy it.
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*
Abruptly asking a monk to give you a meditation lesson
is like asking a comedian to make you laugh on the spot.
Nevertheless, I should accept the request
and have ready several short lessons for such occasions.
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*
“When flowers wilt,
when the sun sets,
when a person’s life ends,
even in our deep sadness
we lea
rn the wisdom
to understand and accept life
and learn the humility
to forgive others and ourselves.”
—SISTER CLAUDIA LEE HAE-HIN,H FROM “A SMALL PRAYER”
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*
I pray that my humble words can become
a small flame of solace steadily burning in your heart.
May they become a friendly smile in this harsh world,
and a warm hug to those in agony and pain.
Although we are imperfect, and live in an imperfect world,
may we continue to love!
Palms Together,
Haemin Sunim
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Haemin Sunim is one of the most influential Zen Buddhist teachers and writers in the world. Born in South Korea, he came to the United States to study film, only to find himself pulled into the spiritual life. Educated at UC Berkeley, Harvard, and Princeton, he received formal monastic training in Korea and taught Buddhism at Hampshire College in Amherst, Massachusetts. He has more than a million followers on Twitter (@haeminsunim) and Facebook and is one of Spirituality & Health's Top 10 Spiritual Leaders of the Next 20 Years and one of Greatist's 100 Most Influential People in Health and Fitness. His books--The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, which has been published in more than thirty languages, and Love for Imperfect Things--have sold more than four million copies and are popular as guides not only to meditation but also to overcoming the challenges of everyday life. When not traveling to share his teachings, Haemin Sunim lives in Seoul, where he founded the School of Broken Hearts, a nonprofit that offers group counseling and meditation for people experiencing challenges in life.
Deborah Smith (translator) is the translator of Han Kang's The Vegetarian, which won the Man Booker International Prize in 2016.
Lisk Feng (illustrations) is an award-winning illustrator whose work has appeared in such publications as The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, Monocle, and Travel + Leisure.
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