“I don’t take responsibility for other people getting offended. Not my problem that you have a problem, you know?”
Her head tilted slightly, and her eyes narrowed at my face. “Right. That’s an interesting way to think about it.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t go out and be an ass to people on purpose. But if my life decisions are pissing someone off, that’s their problem. It’s really got nothing to do with them.”
Her face steeled against my words as I picked up a donut.
“Did I offend you now?” I laughed.
“No. I get your point, though.”
“You know, it seems like ages ago that I said goodbye to you at the airport. You haven’t changed a bit except, of course, you got hitched—to my best friend—and you had a baby with him. Moved next door to my childhood home. I mean, if I were that kind of person, I think I’d say I’m offended.”
Liv adjusted the purple box in the center of the table then readjusted it. “You weren’t even here. I didn’t think you’d ever come back. Imagine my surprise when I see you sneaking into your dad’s house, with your hoodie pulled down to your chin.”
I glared at her, my donut forgotten in my hand. “You saw me!”
“Of course.”
“I waited until it was dark.”
“Well, you’re—” She motioned to my chest and shoulders. “Hard to miss. Besides, I’ve seen too much of this to forget it.” She made an airborne circle with her arms.
“Thanks, I guess.” I took a bite of the donut. The rich custard melted in my mouth. “Damn, I wish I’d had a dozen of these last night after we smoked up.”
She shook her head. “Bad decision I made there.”
“Got you anxious again?”
“Of course. That stuff hates me.”
“I was so high when I said goodbye to you at the airport. Super. I was so strung up and tense when I was leaving home, I smoked some to calm me down. But it made me super dizzy.”
“Wait.” She lifted a hand, a smile pasted on her lips. “Let’s be clear about one thing: you didn’t say goodbye at the airport. You dumped me.”
My heart thudded against my ribcage. I looked closely at her face. Even though she was smiling, there was no denying the pain in her green eyes. They clouded over, darkening and sparkling like jewels, before she glanced away. Liv focused intently on the donut that came from her own shop. She picked at it, as if trying to discover what was inside. She knew exactly what was inside.
“Dammit. I never thought of it that way.”
She sighed, still picking at the donut. I stifled the urge to pry the poor torn-up bastard out of her fingers.
“I’m sorry, Liv.”
“As you said, your life decisions can fuck other people up, but that’s not your problem.”
She was clearly angry now. I wasn’t sure which Liv I preferred. The guarded, impassive Liv, or this openly aggressive one.
Then it struck me again: I’d been around way too many superficial women with overfilled lips and silicone-enhanced curves. Women who couldn’t walk past a mirror without glancing at their reflections—instantly squeezing their cheeks in, jutting their lips out.
Women who only cared about one thing: be seen in the right places with the right people.
Liv, though, had a real life. She worked hard, and she had goals and ambitions for her future. Goals that didn’t include what surgery she wanted next or which crash diet to try.
I’d forgotten her. I’d forgotten our life together. I’d forgotten us.
Liv was a breath of fresh air.
“We were going to college, far away from each other. I assumed we were on the same page about ending the relationship.”
“I’m saying, Jax, if you were going to dump me, some warning would’ve been nice. You could’ve given me a heads-up.”
“When?”
“Maybe when your head was down between my legs the night before.” She froze, her green eyes flashing furiously.
Memories of that night resurfaced.
Goddamn my HD memory.
Liv clutching my back as I pumped into her over and over.
Liv’s head thrashing on the pillow.
Liv riding me, fast, leaning back toward my thighs, holding my hands for balance.
Liv’s thighs juddering sideways, then clamping shut on either side of my head as I probed her pussy with my tongue and rubbed her clit with my fingers.
I hadn’t felt speechless, ever. Only Liv could do this to me.
“It’s in the past now, Jax. But really, it was brutal.”
But that’s not what I was thinking about. I remembered how I felt when I was inside her. It was unlike anything I’d experienced during the last eleven years.
Sex had become something that had to be done, to get the biological need for it out of my system. Sex consisted of making out, foreplay, pumping in and out. Done.
No woman made me feel so turned-on just by eating a goddamn donut in front of me.
I’m a freak. Or Liv is just too damn desirable.
Liv thanked the waiter as he placed our cappuccinos on the table, and then she took a sip. Awkward silence stretched tautly between us.
But I kept busy. I stared at Liv’s shiny auburn hair styled in natural waves, barely touching the tops of her shoulders. She was the only girl I knew who could shower and walk right out of the house and still look like a million bucks.
I want you, Liv.
Under normal circumstances, I’d find a way to lead her to my bed. But Liv had had the grand idea to get married.
Screw you.
“Jax! Hey, Jax!”
My gaze snapped toward the voice calling my name. Across the street, a familiar face beamed at me. He lifted his hands, laughing. “Dude, you’re back?”
I smiled back, knowing Brodey would now join us. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel when he leaned down to kiss his wife.
You better make a break for it. You don’t want to see Liv’s mouth on Brodey’s.
Brodey jogged across the road. “Jesus. I couldn’t believe it when I saw you. How’re you doing? Hey, Liv!”
What a fucker. He barely glanced at his stunning wife.
“What are you doing here? Off-season vacationing at home?”
“Well, kind of.”
“Good! You know what they say, home is the best rehab.”
“Do they say that?” I could laugh. Brodey had obviously seen the whole Bellevue drama in the news.
“Of course. Why don’t you come over for dinner tomorrow night? I’m staying at Dad’s place, but I leave for business the day after.”
“Sure. But,” I stole a peek at Liv, who was cracking her fingers with enough force to snap them into pieces.
Confused, I glared at Brodey. “So, your dad’s house? Next door to my dad’s?”
“Oh no, no.” He grinned. “Dad sold that house to Liv.”
That doesn’t make any sense.
“Dad lives on Thirty-Fourth Street now. That’s where I crash when I’m here. Just swing by. Give me a call. Here’s my card.”
What?
I felt like I was trapped in a dense, gel-like substance, just bouncing around.
What the fuck is going on?
Liv was looking at me with an expression that clearly said: Oh fuck!
“You two aren’t married?”
Brodey looked at Liv, expressionless, then at me, then at Liv again.
His laughter burst out of his chest, his head thrown back. He punched me playfully on the shoulder and shook his head.
“As if! Nah, Liv’s out of my league, man. Way out of my league.”
7
Liv
I kind of liked Mondays. I was also told I was a freak for it.
I didn’t work on Monday mornings. So that probably helped my opinion.
I’d hired a manager, Samantha, so I got Mondays to Wednesdays off. Just during the day. I did, of course, take over after four p.m.
I smoothed my yellow sundr
ess over my waist. Mondays, I had to dress cheery. It was just something I did. Every Monday. Without fail.
Routine, predictability, and zero spontaneity.
I survived a lot of hardcore stuff by ensuring I had a rigid routine.
If I got no curveballs, I didn’t have to find a way to dodge them. Smart.
I unlocked my car, put my bag in the back seat, and slid into the driver’s seat. I’d just tapped the ignition button when the passenger side door was yanked open. A large, familiar body slid into the seat next to me.
We stared at each other. Jax, as always, wore that expression of self-righteous confidence and self-importance.
“What’s going on here?”
“You’re driving me.” He slammed the door shut.
“Where to?”
“I’m going wherever you’re going. And we’re talking about the whole Brodey lie you told me. You ran off before I could grill you.”
“You don’t get to grill me,” I said, indignant. “I didn’t lie to you about anything.”
“Remember Brodey? Your husband?”
“Oh.” I laughed and turned to face him as I considered whether or not to put my seatbelt on yet. I wasn’t going anywhere with Jax, especially not to pick up Anna from school. No way in hell. “About that. You assumed Brodey and I are married. I never said I was.”
“You didn’t say you weren’t.”
I turned in my seat to face him fully. “Well, I guess if I make a life decision, and other people get offended,” I mocked in a drawl that sounded nothing like Jax, really just a bad imitation of a Texan drawl. “It’s not my problem, is it?” Fucker.
“Don’t do that. That’s weird. Anyway.” He put his seatbelt on. “I think I preferred you married.”
“I don’t get how me being married or not married has anything to do with you.”
“We’re friends?”
“Oh, are we?” I considered shoving him out of my car. He was a big man. But I could do it. I could at least try. Maybe if I used my legs to kick him out, that would work.
“Of course. That’s why we can talk about shit.” He sighed. “Diane’s not taking my calls. And Mark is driving me crazy with BS.”
“Who’s Mark?”
“My agent. He’s kind of neurotic.”
“Jax! Get out!”
“I’m coming with you.”
“I’m running late for something important.” I didn’t want to tell him I was going to pick Anna. I’d tried hard to keep him and Anna out of each other’s way. “Just get out.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“What the fuck, Jax! It’s like I have another child to take care of now. I get your food. I am your sounding board. I didn’t sign up for this shit.”
“Oh, come on. Take me for a drive. I’ll sit quietly. Jeez.”
I shook my head. “No can do.”
“For God’s sake!” He laughed incredulously. “This is insane. I’ll just sit here. I won’t bother you. I can’t sit in that—” He gritted his teeth, pointing at his dad’s dilapidated house.
I followed the direction of his finger, and yeah, I did feel bad for him.
John’s place wasn’t really nice. Anna hated it. But she went anyway to see her grandfather. He was a good grandfather. I think he sometimes tried to make up for being a shitty dad to Jax by indulging Anna. I owed John forever for not telling Jax about Anna. It would’ve made things very, very complicated for me.
“Get out!” I yelled.
His brows furrowed, but he didn’t move. “That was an excessively exaggerated reaction to a simple request. But I’m staying. He shrugged. “You can do whatever. Leave me in here.”
“I can’t believe I have to put up with this shit,” I hissed, yanking my seatbelt so hard it halted halfway.
“Try again.”
“Don’t mock me.” I got the seatbelt on the second try. My mind was a flurry of panic.
What do I do now? Anna. Shit.
I hoped Anna would bury her head in one of those sparkly notebooks of hers and not speak to Jax. And Jax wouldn’t talk to her either.
“Promise me you’ll sit quietly?”
“Sure, fine.”
“All right.” Let’s do this.
I reversed out of the driveway. True to his word, Jax stayed silent for the entire twelve-minute drive. I parked outside the school gate that led out of the auditorium, where Anna had theater rehearsals. She came out beaming.
“Hey, princess! How was your day?” My fingers shook as I smoothed her hair off her face.
“Fine.” She smiled and peeked behind me to where Jax sat in the car.
Oh god. Help!
I heard the car door open.
Okay. It’s going to be okay.
Then I saw the nametag—pink marker on white paper—on Anna’s Princess Sofia outfit.
“Anna J. Garner.”
Exhaling deeply, I told myself not to panic. It was nothing.
“Hey there.” Jax’s awkward greeting rang in the air.
I whirled around. “I thought you said you wouldn’t speak!”
“I can’t ignore her,” he whispered.
“Anna, this is my friend. Please get in the car, you two.”
Real life turned into slow motion. This couldn’t end well. Of course it couldn’t. Shit. Jax’s name…
“Hey, Anna. I’m Jax.”
“Oh. Nice. Like my middle name.”
He smiled, and I saw his expression change from awkward to confused. At the same time, I noticed how he took in Anna’s height—a giveaway of her age—her hair, her face…
“Hey, you!” I cut her off. “Get in the car.”
Jax ignored me. “I didn’t get that, Anna.”
Anna tilted her head sideways, regarding him from head to toe.
“Jax? J-A-X? Like my middle name.”
My blood seemed to evaporate.
“How old are you, Anna?”
I stiffened, glancing around for a way out of this hell.
“I’m ten. You?”
The ground swayed like a swing beneath me. Too hard. I grabbed the car door with one hand to steady myself and took Anna’s arm in the other, almost stuffing her inside the car as I avoided meeting Jax’s steely glare.
“Let’s go, Anna. Jax has to go. He’s really busy.”
I am not driving him back. Oh no, I am not.
Why wasn’t he speaking?
I made the mistake of glancing at his face. His arms by his sides, his feet placed apart, he stood motionless amidst the group of parents filing out the auditorium door. Jax looked like a ghost of his former self. White as a sheet. He was in shock.
At least he isn’t angry.
I jinxed it.
His golden eyes blazed at me as his eyes snapped to Anna. I could feel his eyes darting over my child—her hair, her skin tone, her eyes.
Anna waved her little purple magic wand at him, the feathers fluttering.
“Goodbye, Jax,” she called as she rolled up her window.
I couldn’t move. I stood between my child in the car, with Jax standing before me.
Fuck it. Fuck it. Just get out of here.
I can’t escape this now.
Just get in the car.
I turned and strode around the car and had placed one foot inside when I heard him.
“What the fuck, Liv?”
His shout made me stiffen, but I wasn’t the only one, unfortunately. The parents behind him gasped, glared, and muttered under their breaths as they led their kids away from the enraged running back.
I pressed the ignition hard, but I accidently pushed it twice, and it shut off. Frustrated, panicking by the second, I tried again, and it didn’t work. My hands were shaking so hard I couldn’t start the car.
I stabbed it furiously then exhaled in relief when it finally worked. I pulled out in reverse—too fast. Slammed on the brake—too hard. The last image I had of Jax was in the rearview mirror as I left him outside the school.
Six foot five inches of hard muscle in blazing fury.
His elbows up and out, Jax held his head in both hands.
I didn’t know how long he’d stand there like that.
I realized, staring at the road, that my house of cards and lies—or lies by omission—really was falling flat. Haphazard and messy. It was now up to me to put the deck back together.
I didn’t want to do it.
8
Jax
The park seemed much smaller than I remembered it.
I mean, I was a teen when I last saw it. Didn’t make sense for it to be this compact. They had added a couple new slides and monkey bars. The old ones were either replaced or had been repainted, so the entire park was missing the nostalgia I’d secretly wished for.
I dialed Dad’s number again. It kept going to voicemail.
Fuck! How could you do this?
I wanted to scream, but only if Dad picked up. There was no way in hell he didn’t know about Anna.
Anna Jax Garner. What a joke.
Why did Liv even give my name to her daughter? When she didn’t want me to know Anna existed?
Every time I’d spotted her leaving the house with Liv, she’d been in the most girly, fluffy dresses. They looked like costumes, or something more suited to a six-year-old.
But Anna was ten years old.
How had I missed that the picture of the little girl on Liv’s fridge and the tall ten-year-old Liv drove to school couldn’t possibly be the same age?
Damn, Anna was mine.
Her hair, mine. Her eyes, mine. Shit, even her skin tone didn’t match Liv’s pale one.
I tried Dad’s number again and resisted the urge to take my frustration out on my phone.
Instead, I tapped on Diane’s name, and she picked up on the first ring.
“Hey Jax, darling. Doing well?”
“Diane. I need to—”
“I’ll call you back in an hour, okay? I’m kind of in the middle of something.”
“Diane!”
“It’s about your whole shitty living arrangement, I promise. So hang in there.” She hung up.
“Fucking hell.”
I threw my phone against the ground. Shoving my fingers through my hair, I glared at the dirt on my Nikes. Panting, I closed my eyes to blot out the image of Anna’s face.
Baby's Daddy: An Enemies to Lovers Romance Page 5