Praise Him Anyhow - Volume 1

by Vanessa Miller

  Carmella looked up. Her son was staring at her with fear in his eyes. He and Joy were fragile right now. She needed to make the right moves so that they could heal properly. Carmella was going to show compassion to her children, but she wasn’t going to coddle them. The world wouldn’t, so neither would she. She wiped the tears from her face as she told Dontae, “We’re okay, we just had a moment.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Perfect.” Carmella nudged Joy. “Isn’t that right?”

  Wiping her face also, Joy nodded. “I just needed a good cry. But I’ll be all right.”

  Carmella then put her hands on her hips as she asked Dontae, “What’s going on with the yard?”

  “I did everything you asked. I’ve cleaned the gutters and raked the leaves. So, can I please go hang out with my friends for a little while?”

  “How are you planning to get to your hang out spot?” Carmella asked, preparing to drop the hammer.

  “I’m going to drive over there,” he told her as he walked to the key holder by the garage door and noticed that his keys weren’t there. “Who moved my keys?”

  “I moved them,” Carmella declared. “You’re not driving until you bring your grades back up.”

  “Mom, why are you tripping,” he whined. “My grades are fine.”

  “That’s not what your teachers say. So I suggest that you make it your business to figure out what assignments you’re missing and get them turned in immediately.”

  Dontae huffed and puffed, then kicked the counter.

  “You might as well unflare those nostrils, because I couldn’t care less how angry you are right now. But what you need to worry about is how angry I was when I heard that you’d rather fight than do your school work.”

  “Mr. Thomas told you about my detention, didn’t he?”

  “Told me about it? I had to beg him for it. You were getting ready to get suspended.” She almost asked him what he thought the colleges he’d applied to would think about a kid who liked to fight rather than study, but she knew that was the point. Dontae was trying to self-destruct.

  “He told you that?”

  Carmella nodded.

  “So when I told you that I had to stay late for football practice, you knew I was lying?”

  “Don’t you know by now not to lie to Mom? It’s spooky how she figures stuff out. But I’ve learned to just ‘fess up,” Joy told her brother.

  With a smirk on her face, Carmella picked up a can of white exterior paint and the paint brush that she’d placed on the kitchen table earlier in the day. “Enough chit-chat, I need you to paint the trim on the shed out back.”

  “What!” Dontae exploded. “Haven’t I slaved around here enough today?”

  “Don’t complain, Dontae. I’m just trying to provide you with a skill.”

  “Why do I need a skill? I’m not trying to get a job; I’m still in high school.”

  “Look at it this way, Dontae, if you don’t do your school work, you might not receive an acceptance letter from any of the colleges you applied to, so you’ll need to figure out how to earn a living without a degree.” She shoved the paint can toward him. “So here you go.”

  Rolling his eyes, Dontae took the paint and stomped his feet as he went back outside.

  Joy started laughing. “I bet he won’t do this again.”

  “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. I’ve got something for you to do also.”

  “Me… why?”

  Carmella put a yellow notepad and pen in front of Joy. “Let’s see… you quit your job a few weeks ago, you just dropped out of law school and you even broke up with your fiancé.” Carmella ticked each item off with her fingers as she spoke. “You might be grown and can do what you want, but you are not sitting around this house, doing nothing.”

  “Okay, so what do you want me to do?” Joy asked, resigning herself to whatever task her mother might assign.

  “I want you to help me plan my new business,” Carmella announced.

  Joy’s eyes lit up. “What new business?”

  “I’m going to be a pastry chef. I’ve decided to call my company Hallelujah Cakes & Such.”

  “Huh? I don’t get it. Why would you add the word ‘hallelujah’ to a pastry business?”

  “Think about it, Joy, the word hallelujah is the highest form of praise. And I have decided, come what may, I will live the rest of my life praising God for all He has done for me. So what better way to remind myself to praise the Lord, than to name my business something that indicates praise?”

  Joy nodded. “All right then, Hallelujah Cakes and Such it is. So tell me, do you have a location for this business?”

  “Not yet. I plan to operate right out of my own wonderful kitchen until I have enough cash flow to lease a location.”

  They talked for hours about the business, coming up with ideas and making plans for her first event. Carmella even let Dontae come in the house and get to his homework. But she wasn’t finished with him.

  Late that night, when Carmella finally made it to her bedroom, she fell on her knees and began praying. Her heart was full of so much animosity towards Nelson. The man was so selfish that he hadn’t even taken a moment to worry about how his actions would affect his family.

  “Lord Jesus, I’m putting Joy and Dontae in Your hands. You see the heartache and the trials they are dealing with. See them through this storm, Lord… they didn’t ask for any of what is going on in our lives. Both Joy and Dontae adored their father, and I believe they are having such a hard time with our divorce because they have had to take their father off the pedestal they had placed him on. Help them to see that Nelson is just a man… a man who happens to be their father, and who still needs their love.

  “But most of all, Lord Jesus, I am asking that You give them peace to ride through this storm. Give them direction for their lives and help them to come to know and love You as much as I do.”

  When Carmella was done praying, she began singing, “You are great… You do miracles so great”… and she believed every word she uttered. For God had truly been great in her life. He’d given her peace of mind and was even mending her heart. She’d never expected that she and Nelson would get a divorce, but with God by her side, she was determined to get through it. And even if she had to drag Dontae and Joy kicking and screaming, they would get through this horrible time in their lives also. In Jesus Name, she made that declaration.

  She climbed in bed, turned on the radio that was next to her bed and drifted as a praise song lullaby her to sleep.

  11

  Over the weekend Carmella did everything but beat Dontae like Toby and say, “grits dummy” to her son. By Monday morning Dontae told her that his body was aching from all the physical labor he’d endured, but that he wanted to go to school anyway. Carmella knew that Dontae thought the torture would end if he went to school, but she wasn’t done with him yet.

  Since Dontae wasn’t allowed to drive until he pulled his grades back up, Carmella drove him to school. “This is lame, Mom. I have a reputation to uphold. How do you think it looks for people to see my Mom dropping me off at school?”

  Carmella parked the car, turned the engine off and said as innocently as possible, “I hope the fact that I’ll be auditing a few of your classes and helping out in the office this week won’t drop your cool points with your friends.”

  Dontae inhaled and then exhaled slowly, making signs with his hands as if he was trying to get in a Zen kind of mood. “Please tell me this is a joke.”

  “No joke,” Carmella said as she got out of the car. She began walking towards the front doors of the high school, but noticed that Dontae wasn’t walking with her. She turned and saw him still sitting in the car looking about as miserable as a teenager could before being prescribed anti-depressants. Good, Carmella thought. He’ll think twice before goofing off at school again. Carmella strutted back to the car, knocked on the passenger side window and yelled, “Come on, boy. We don’
t want to be late to your first class.” Okay, she didn’t have to keep rubbing it in, but she was determined to drive her point home.

  “This ain’t right,” Dontae said as he got out of the car and stalked off toward the school building.

  She closed her passenger door since her son left it wide open as if by magic, the door would close itself. Her Lexus SRX could do a lot of things, but closing its own doors wasn’t one of them. She let Dontae rush ahead, because she needed to sign in before going into any of the classrooms.

  The school secretary was at her desk when Carmella walked in. “Good morning, Mrs. Bell, how are you doing today?”

  “Oh, Mrs. Marshall, how nice to see you. How’ve you been?”

  “Things are going well,” was Carmella’s statement of faith. “I was hoping that I could audit a few of Dontae’s classes today.”

  “I don’t think that would be a problem. Just sign in right here.” She pointed to the sign-in sheet. “And I’ll get an approval for your day pass.”

  “I might want to come back a few more days this week if that would be possible.”

  Mrs. Bell smirked, getting the message. “Turning the screws on him, huh?”

  “I’m throwing everything I’ve got at him, while still praying for a miracle.”

  “Okay, let’s see if we can rustle one up for you.”

  Carmella sat down in the administrative office, waiting to receive her pass so she could stalk her son all day long. She only prayed that he would forgive her for what she was about to do. Maybe years from now when he became a huge success at whatever he decided to do with his life, he’d call and thank her for this—or maybe not.

  Instead of the school secretary bringing her the day pass, Carmella looked up and saw Ramsey headed her way. She stood and gave him a hug, “Hey Ramsey, I didn’t mean to bother you.”

  “No bother at all. You can have the pass and audit all of Dontae’s classes, but I was hoping that we could maybe go about this another way.”

  “Like what?” Carmella asked, trying her best to concentrate. Ramsey was regal and gorgeous all at the same time. He was captain of the basketball team when they were in high school and she was on the cheerleading squad. That was many years ago, but she wanted to grab her pom-poms and give this brother a “Rah! Rah! Sis-Boom-Bah!”

  “I can call Dontae down here and let him know that you’ve been okayed to attend all of his classes anytime you want.”

  Carmella was catching on. She added, “And then we can give him the opportunity to beg me not to do him like this and let him promise to do his work, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Let’s do it,” Carmella said. She hadn’t really wanted to humiliate her son, but she couldn’t think of any other way to get her point across. Ramsey escorted her to his office and she sat down and waited for Dontae.

  Ramsey sat down behind his desk and stared at her in a way that made Carmella squirm. “What?” she asked when he kept on staring.

  “Nothing, I was just thinking that you’re still the prettiest girl this high school has ever seen.”

  Was she blushing? Carmella hadn’t blushed in years. Probably because Nelson hadn’t said anything to make her blush in years.

  Ramsey leaned back in his seat and kept going. “Looking at you, I feel like we’re back in high school.”

  “Now you might as well stop lying, Ramsey Thomas. It’s been twenty-nine years since we were in high school and I know I don’t still look the same.”

  “You’re right,” he said with a gleam in his eye. “You look better.”

  Before she could respond, there was a knock at his door. Ramsey jumped up and opened the door. Dontae walked in.

  “Mom, what are you still doing here?”

  “I told you that I was going to audit your classes this week.”

  Ramsey held up a piece of paper. “I’ve signed off on her request and Mrs. Bell is about to print off a list of all your classes and the room number for each.”

  “Come on, Mr. Ramsey, help me out here. You know this isn’t right,” Dontae would plead for help from God Himself, if that was what it would take to get his mom to stop the torture.

  Ramsey turned to Carmella and said, “I think what Dontae is trying to say is that he’s kind of a big deal around here and having his mother checking up on him will make him look bad.”

  “I seem to remember someone else who was kind of a big deal around this school. When his mother visited this school, it caused him to straighten up and get his work done.”

  Ramsey’s mouth hung slack and then he asked, “You remember that?”

  “I sure do. And Mrs. Thomas was right in what she did…straightened you up.”

  “Yeah, but I was humiliated, Melly.”

  “The way you ran around this school acting like the king of the hill, you needed to be brought down a notch or two,” Carmella told Ramsey with a hint of laughter in her eyes.

  “Excuse me,” Dontae said, trying to draw some attention back to him. “Did he just call you Melly? Am I missing something?”

  Blushing again, Carmella told Dontae, “Ramsey and I went to school together.”

  “Oh okay.” Dontae glanced at Ramsey and then back at his mother. He then got back to the discussion at hand. “Can you just please go home?”

  “I don’t think I’m ready to go home yet.”

  “Look Dontae, your mom has a day pass, so she can go anywhere in this school she wants. But if you want her to leave rather than follow you around today, then I suggest you ask why she’s here and what she wants from you.”

  Dontae turned back to his mother. “Why are you here?” he asked while rolling his eyes.

  She ignored his insolence. “Because I want you to win.”

  Dontae sat down in the chair next to his mother. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about, Mom. I don’t get this at all.”

  She put her hand on her son’s shoulder and gently said, “I know you’re having a hard time with the divorce,” her voice turned sharper as she added, “but that doesn’t concern you as much as your school work does. I don’t want you to mess up your last year of high school and then end up hurting your chances of getting into college.”

  “I’m not going to sit here and cry the way you and Joy cried the other night,” Dontae told his mom as his lip slightly quivered.

  “I don’t want you to cry. I’ve done enough of that for the whole family. What I want you to do is strive to enjoy your life and keep getting the good grades you’ve always gotten.” She put her forehead against his. “Can you do that for me?”

  “If I promise to do my work, will you please leave?” A tear dropped from Dontae’s eyes as the two continued to lean on each other.

  Carmella pretended not to see the tear. “I’ll leave now. Just do your work, okay?”

  “Okay.” Dontae stood up and turned his back on them as he wiped his eyes. “I gotta get back to class. I’ll see you at home, Mom.”

  “Don’t you need me to pick you up after school?” Carmella quickly asked.

  “I’ll catch the bus home.” With that Dontae escaped.

  Carmella turned back to Ramsey and said, “Thank you for that. Dontae might not have ever forgiven me for embarrassing him the way I had planned.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Ramsey had a grin on his face as he admitted, “I forgave my mom after my third year in college.”

  As she laughed, Carmella reminded him, “Remember how she busted up in our English class and was supposed to be sitting quietly. That lasted about ten minutes, until the teacher upset her by not calling on you to read any of the passages that we were going over that day.”

  Ramsey mimicked his mother as he said, “My son ain’t no dumb jock. He can read, too. Show him, Ramsey… stand up and read something.”

  They both burst out laughing, then Carmella shook her head. “I can’t believe that I was getting ready to do that to Dontae. But desperate times, call for desperate measures.”
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  “But I have to admit that my head was pretty big when we were in high school. I just knew I was going to the NBA. If my mother hadn’t convinced me that my education was important because nobody could ever take that away from me, I don’t know where I would be now.”

  “You did play overseas for a few years, though,” Carmella reminded him.

  “I enjoyed playing overseas, but I couldn’t stay there forever. So, when I got homesick, I was thankful that I had finished college and only needed a few certifications to become a teacher.”

  Carmella was silent, but the sadness that crossed her eyes was unmistakable.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Ramsey asked.

  “Oh no, not at all. It’s just that I had intended to become a teacher also, but it just didn’t work out that way.” She felt as if she was starting to bring down the mood with her woulda-coulda-shouldas, so she stood up. “I’m sure you need to get back to work, so I’ll get out of your way.”

  “Actually, I was just getting ready to invite you to breakfast. There’s an IHOP one block over.”

  12

  Carmella felt as if she were walking on clouds. Breakfast with Ramsey had been just what she needed. He made her feel young again, and reminded her of what it felt like to be cherished. Because one thing was for certain, she and Ramsey had loved each other. She had allowed herself to move on when she and Ramsey chose different colleges, because she had believed that teenage love wouldn’t last. But now she was questioning that decision.

  She’d given Ramsey her cell phone number and had boldly told him that the divorce papers would be signed soon, so he should feel free to call her. Carmella had been feeling so good that she even gave Dontae back his car keys when he arrived home that evening.

  Then things started going wrong. Carmella received a call from her attorney. She smiled as she noted the name on her caller ID. Deidre was probably calling to tell her that Nelson had signed the papers and she was free. It amazed her that she could smile about something that, only a few months ago, had seemed like being left behind after the rapture. But maybe she was doing some healing herself.