Grumpy Old Wizards

by John O'Riley

  “Extend an olive branch,” Alice corrected.

  Helen’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm. “That’s exactly what I think!”

  “I think Helen’s right. I’m going to prepare some enchantments as a goodwill gesture. Or maybe I can just use something I’ve already made,” Josephine said. “What do men like and dislike?”

  “They’re a bunch of pigs,” Alice said with a moody frown.

  “They tend to be lazy,” Helen supplied with a helpful smile.

  Josephine snapped her fingers and pointed at Helen with elation. “That’s exactly it! I’ll give him a couple of my cleaning enchantments. They’re advanced and do a thorough job.”

  “That’s perfect,” Alice agreed.

  Josephine grabbed two of her small, thin wands programmed for cleaning with a small label wrapped around the handle to indicate their use. She placed them in a shiny, gold decorative box and went over to see Dale. As soon as Dale opened the door and realized who was paying him a visit, he slammed it shut in her face. Josephine scowled with irritation as her instincts screamed at her to shell out some payback.

  “Dale, I just want to talk,” Josephine called out.

  “What’s stopping you?” Dale’s sarcastic voice was muffled through the door.

  “We can’t carry on a meaningful conversation like this,” Josephine said.

  “I’m not going to invite a slut into my home.”

  Josephine’s face flushed as righteous indignation swept through her. “I’m not a slut.”

  “You don’t belong in a retirement community.”

  “I’m older than you,” Josephine retorted.

  “You have all the advantages of youth and shouldn’t get to use any retirement benefits.”

  “I contributed to taxes and social security the same as you.” Josephine strove to keep calm as she began to harbor doubts about her goodwill mission.

  “Why don’t you take your slutty ass and march it on out of here,” Dale said.

  Josephine opened her second sight and examined the security enchantments and wards protecting Dale’s condo. It took her only a couple of moments to disarm everything. She made a sweeping gesture with her hand as she forced the door open with a potent burst of telekinesis. Dale gaped at Josephine with stunned disbelief for several seconds before he turned to flee. Josephine reached her hand out and used telekinesis to toss Dale across the room and pin his body against the wall. Josephine made a sweeping motion at the door to cause it to slam shut as she approached Dale. Her mind simmered with hostility and anger. Dale’s fearful gaze locked onto hers as he tried to pry himself away from the wall to escape. Josephine halted in front of him and frowned at him with reprisal.

  “You’re making it very difficult to be nice to you,” Josephine said.

  Dale’s mouth opened and closed several times in a comical fashion that almost made Josephine burst out in hysterical laughter. She bit her lower lip to keep the amusement at bay as she didn’t think it would help her cause.

  “What do you want?” Dale asked.

  “I want to call a truce. I don’t plan on jinxing you anymore if you stop pestering me,” Josephine said. “Don’t you think it would be nice to enjoy your retirement without looking over your shoulder all the time?”

  “You don’t scare me,” Dale said with false bravado.

  “I come with a peace offering.” Josephine held up a gift box which caused Dale to flinch with alarm. “It’s a powerful cleaning enchantment. I thought you might find it useful.”

  Josephine released the telekinetic hold on Dale and he pushed away from the wall but didn’t try to flee. Dale regarded the box with obvious suspicion.

  “How do I know you don’t have it jinxed?” he demanded.

  “I’m trying to show you that I want to be a good neighbor,” Josephine said. “Do you think we can stop slinging spells at each other?”

  “I’ll think about it,” Dale said.

  “That’s all I ask.”

  Josephine held out the gift box and Dale hesitated before accepting it. Josephine’s lips formed a strained smile.

  “Thank you for giving this a chance, Dale,” she said.

  “I’m still thinking.”

  Josephine left Dale’s condo with mixed feelings. Mending fences could prove to be a prudent course of action; however, Josephine didn’t trust the old fart and seriously doubted he would stop hounding her. Early the next morning, on the drive to Siesta Key beach, Josephine thought she saw the same blue sedan tailing her for almost the entire trip. Josephine tensed with nervousness as she wondered if someone suspected she was illegally tapping into the vortex. When she turned into the parking lot, the blue sedan continued on down the road without slowing down. She heaved a sigh of relief and wondered when she would stop suffering from guilt and paranoia over shutting off her aequitas enchantment. Just because category six wizards were so powerful didn’t mean they should be banned from doing what everyone else could do.

  Josephine reached out with her mind and linked with the vortex. Potent energy flooded through her mind and body. Josephine jogged along the shoreline in her bare feet, enjoying the feel of the soft crystalline sand against her skin. She took deep breaths of the salty air but never grew tired as long as she maintained her psychic connection with the vortex. Her body thrummed with pleasure and she savored the delightful sensation, wishing these moments would never end. A male figure heading her way came into view. Josephine’s temporarily enhanced psychic senses immediately recognized her friend, Gary Eslinger. He was medium-set, in his mid-thirties, with hazel eyes and brown wavy hair. Sometimes, Gary and Josephine went jogging together or he’d come over to visit but it had been a couple of weeks since she’d seen him. Gary was clad in just swim trunks and he looked preoccupied in spite of the rush obtained from the vortex. Like Josephine, he was a category six. There were only three of them who lived in the area.

  “Gary, it’s been a while. Mind if I join you?” Josephine asked.

  “Sure.”

  Josephine turned and ran beside him in silence for several moments.

  “What have you been up to? Is everything okay?” Josephine said.

  “I’m trying to figure things out,” Gary said.

  Josephine could understand that. She’d helped the police catch a serial killer who was experimenting on his victims in an attempt to create an enchantment that would increase a wizard’s power to a category six. The killer happened to be Gary’s older brother and had succeeded in the enchantment with his latest victim who’d survived the brutal magic he’d inflicted on her. Josephine had caught him before he could enhance his own abilities.

  “I can understand that but you shouldn’t isolate yourself,” Josephine advised.

  “Maybe I’ll come over this weekend,” Gary said.

  “I look forward to it.”

  “It’s strange,” Gary said.

  “What is?”

  “I’m feeling hunted like someone’s following me around.”

  Josephine’s stomach clenched with anxiety. “Have you seen anyone?”

  “Not really.”

  “You don’t sound so sure of that.”

  “My mind’s just playing tricks on me. I think it’s a side-effect of Dan’s mind control and memory suppression hexes he did on me all those years,” Gary said.

  “You don’t have to worry anymore. Your brother is safely locked away now where he belongs,” Josephine said in a reassuring tone.

  “I know but my mind is still healing. Alice said it could take a long time to recover after all those years of damage.”

  “She’s willing to help speed up the healing process. I’ve helped her create some mentis curatio enchantments just for you,” Josephine said.

  “She told me but I have a hard time trusting anyone,” Gary said.

  A shiver of apprehension tingled along Josephine’s spine when her gaze flicked to the parking lot and she saw the same blue sedan that had followed her parked near her car. Josep
hine took advantage of her heightened senses to probe at the stranger. A powerful and seamless shield kept her from accessing the mind of the stalker.

  “Gary, try to see if you can sense who’s driving that car. I’m sure he followed me here.” Josephine pointed at the parking lot.

  The car turned and raced out of the area. Josephine lost her hold on the intruder and turned to face Gary.

  “Did you get anything?” Josephine shot him a hopeful look.

  “Nothing.”

  “Damn!” Josephine exclaimed with fervor. “Only a category five or six could hold out against us like that which means it’s probably an enforcer.”

  Gary’s eyes conveyed a sense of dread. “We’re under investigation. I wonder why they didn’t arrest us since we were caught red-handed linking with the vortex here.”

  “You’re right. It must be someone else. We should probably report this to the police except that we’ll be assigned enforcers to protect us.”

  “We won’t be able to risk connecting with the Siesta Key vortex anymore if that happens.”

  Josephine mulled over their situation as anxiety clawed in her gut.

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