He Started It

by Samantha Downing

‘What the hell?’ he says again.

  Portia is the only one stupid enough, drunk enough, to answer. ‘What the hell what?’ she says.

  ‘What the hell is all this noise about? For Christ’s sake, I’ve got customers here.’

  ‘You work here?’ I say.

  He looks at me with so much scorn that I physically feel it. ‘I don’t work here, I own this lodge. And you idiots could wake the dead.’

  ‘Do you have zombies here?’ Portia says. ‘Or are they vampires? Because I’m pretty sure those are the only two dead things that can be woken –’

  ‘Out,’ he says. ‘Get out now.’

  Eddie hears this, and sticks his head out of the car to say, ‘I’m not going anywhere until I find our grandfather.’

  The man hesitates. ‘You’ve got five minutes to find him.’

  ‘I’m going to need our money back,’ I say.

  He’s already walking away, waving in the direction of the office. I motion to Felix to get our money, and I tell him to keep his eye out for Krista. No idea where she is.

  Portia puts her suitcase back together, a slow process given her condition. I look into the back of our SUV. It’s empty, and the tire cover is pulled up.

  Something on the ground shines in the sun, catching my eye. It’s right by the back tire, not far from the suitcases, including Portia’s. And Eddie’s.

  I pick it up and put it in my pocket.

  ‘You find anything?’ I call to Eddie. He’s rummaging around in the front.

  ‘No.’

  I turn to Portia. She shrugs.

  ‘It’s not like anyone knew what we had,’ I say. ‘And Grandpa’s ashes aren’t worth anything to anyone but us.’

  Eddie gets out of the car and leans against the bumper. ‘They’re worth a hell of a lot, though.’

  ‘Who’s going to know?’ Portia says. ‘Ashes are ashes. They all look the same.’

  ‘That’s a messed-up thing to say,’ Eddie says.

  ‘This is a messed-up thing we have to do.’

  ‘Grandpa was still pissed off,’ I say. ‘Until the day he died, he was pissed off at all of us.’

  ‘He was pissed?’ Portia says.

  She’s right. We all have good reasons to be pissed off about that trip.

  ‘What if we really are being sabotaged on purpose?’ Portia says.

  ‘Why?’ Eddie says.

  ‘Because he was crazy? Because this is exactly the kind of sick game he would play?’

  I think about this, though my brain isn’t moving as fast as it should. Someone else comes to mind, but it isn’t Grandpa.

  ‘You think he’s made this trip impossible for us,’ Eddie says.

  ‘Why not?’ Portia says. ‘Maybe he’s got people following us. Probably those guys in the truck.’

  ‘Maybe they’re being paid,’ I say.

  Eddie looks up at us, like a light bulb just went off in his head. ‘You know, you might be right. Maybe Grandpa is having us followed to make sure we stay on track.’

  ‘And to screw with us,’ Portia says, rolling her eyes like it’s obvious.

  Eddie thinks about it, nodding his head. ‘It’s possible.’

  ‘Duh,’ Portia says.

  Eddie doesn’t respond to that. He walks off toward the office, leaving Portia and me alone.

  It’s dark now, and there’s only one light in the Western Sun Lodge parking lot. The black dye on her hair has faded, lost its shine, and it looks like burnt charcoal. She looks down at the ground as she says, ‘You think Grandpa’s messing with us, don’t you?’

  ‘Not necessarily,’ I say.

  She looks up. ‘No?’

  ‘There’s someone else it could be.’

  Portia looks stunned, like she sees a ghost. Or is thinking about one.

  ‘No,’ she says. ‘It can’t be Nikki. I mean … no. That’s insane.’

  Except it’s not.

  Stealing the ashes is exactly the kind of thing Nikki would do. I know this because I know her better than anyone. Always have.

  If you could be any animal, what would it be?

  Right this second, I’d say a cheetah. That’s the fastest thing ever, and it has to be faster than this van. I swear sometimes it feels like a horse and buggy. Not that I’d really know what that’s like, but still. Slow.

  But that’s not the ultimate animal I’d want to be. For that, it has to be a lion. Because who doesn’t want to be king of the jungle? It’d worry me if someone said anything other than a lion. And it has to be the male lion, too, because of the mane. I want the mane and I wish the female lions had it, too.

  Everyone gets lions wrong, too. They always said the female lions hunt while the males just kick back and wait for their meal. When people went out to study lions, that’s what they saw – the females hunting while the males stayed back – so it had to be true. It’s not.

  Once they got better cameras and better lenses and people started filming them from above, like from helicopters, they saw the male lions hunting, but only in the tall thick grass where they can stay hidden. Mom was the one who told me that, and then she said that nothing is ever what it seems.

  After getting kicked out of the first motel, we end up at the Peak Valley Inn. Once again, Eddie pulls apart the car to look for the ashes, and he talks to himself the whole time.

  ‘… Checked into the motel … Left them in the car when we went back to the watchtower … No one brought them inside for the night …’

  Crazy? Yes. But at least he isn’t yelling, and neither is Krista. She’s the first to disappear into a room. Portia starts to say something to Eddie, but I drag her away. She’s staying in our room tonight, and as soon as we get inside, she passes out on the bed. I don’t even get a chance to spray it with disinfectant.

  ‘Guess she’s not coming to dinner,’ Felix says.

  ‘I don’t think anyone is.’

  It’s just us. We walk across the street, to a fast food–type place called Buffalo Burger, leaving Eddie in the parking lot mumbling to himself.

  As Felix and I sit down with our buffalo burgers, twice-fried onion rings, and sodas, I realize this is our first meal alone since the trip began.

  Felix chuckles. ‘Not much of a meal.’

  ‘Are you kidding? Look at this thing.’ I hold up my burger, which has a thick slab of meat and oily, melted cheddar cheese. ‘Now this is a buffalo burger.’

  ‘Only the best for my wife.’

  The best, but not always the truth. It’s important to know the difference. If my family hadn’t played Risk so often, it would have taken me a lot longer to learn that.

  Nikki was obsessed with Risk. Even after she discovered boys, she still wanted to play. One of the last times was just a few days before the road trip.

  Mom, Dad, Nikki, Eddie, and I all played. Portia watched.

  During the first half hour, Nikki took control of an entire continent. Eddie helped her. They had an alliance until they didn’t, because the next continent she went after was the one he needed.

  ‘You said Australia wasn’t your thing,’ he said.

  ‘Sue me.’

  Nikki said that a lot. Sue me. Especially when we played Risk.

  That night, Australia was her thing and she took it over quick – with my help, of course – because her goal was to wipe out Eddie.

  Next, she came after me. It didn’t matter that I had helped her.

  ‘Alliances never last,’ she said.

  Dad taught us that. He was also the one who stopped her that night, because he had his own secret mission. His was to take over Asia, but to get there he took over Australia for strategic purposes. Europe, too. Nikki was almost out when Mom saved her. She swooped right in, with me as an ally, and we took out Dad.

  ‘But why?’ Dad asked Mom.

  She shrugged. ‘Because I could.’

  Despite all of these takeovers, no one completed their secret mission.

  That was the last time we ever played Risk.
After Nikki was gone, no one ever brought it up again.

  Felix doesn’t mention Grandpa’s missing ashes until I take my second bite of the buffalo burger.

  ‘You haven’t said anything about the ashes,’ Felix says.

  He’s right, and it’s because nothing about the ashes makes sense. ‘Eddie has pretty much covered that topic. Why have everyone panicking?’

  ‘You’re panicked about it?’

  I finish eating an onion ring before answering. ‘I’m disturbed. The tire and the starter thing, maybe I can rationalize. But Grandpa’s ashes?’ I shake my head. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘You think it was those guys in the truck?’

  ‘Could be. The only other option I see is that Eddie did bring them into the room in Colorado. Maybe Krista didn’t bring them back out, so they’re still sitting in that room.’

  Felix thinks about this, nods. ‘Especially if he hid them in the room. She might’ve forgotten all about them.’

  I laugh a little, though it’s hardly funny. ‘We all forgot. And those ashes are the reason we’re on this trip.’

  Felix doesn’t say anything, and neither do I, but I know we’re both thinking the same thing. If the ashes are really gone, will the lawyer know? Will he refuse to give us the money?

  ‘There’s something else we need to talk about,’ Felix says. ‘But don’t get mad.’

  I freeze, holding the buffalo burger halfway to my mouth. ‘That’s the worst way to start a conversation.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘What’s wrong?’ I say. ‘Is this about us?’

  ‘No, but I find it strange you think it is.’

  ‘What else would I think? You said we needed to talk. That’s what people think when you say that.’

  He sighs and throws his napkin down. I think if he ever threw anything heavier, it would shock me. Even the napkin tells me this trip is getting to him. It’s getting to all of us, but Felix shows it on his pale face. Those dark circles under his eyes stick out like bruises. ‘I’m still talking about the ashes.’

  Of course he is. Who would talk about their marriage at Buffalo Burger?

  Actually, Felix might.

  He did propose right outside of an Applebee’s, although at the time we were both still in college and buried in bills, so going out to eat anywhere was considered a treat. I’ve always thought it was a funny story and have told it many times at dinner parties, especially when anyone asks about my ring.

  When he kneeled down and asked me to marry him, he held out a silver ring with a green stone in it. Not an emerald, just green quartz that resembled one. I still wear it. Now the ring looks like an antique because the silver is so tarnished – yes, you guessed it, just like our marriage. That was too easy to miss.

  But having my marriage end at Buffalo Burger would not be a good story. That’s the story of a tragically bad romantic comedy. On the upside, the food is already paid for.

  ‘Oh, sorry,’ I say. ‘I thought you were talking about us.’

  ‘No.’ He slurps up the last of his soda and clears his throat. ‘I just wanted to throw something out there. I’m not suggesting anything.’

  ‘Go ahead. I won’t be mad.’

  ‘Did you ever think that whoever is sabotaging us is also traveling with us?’

  Why yes, Felix. I did think of this. With over $3 million at stake and two siblings I almost never see and hardly trust, I’d be an idiot if I didn’t consider it. As you already know, anyone can be the villain. There could even be more than one.

  ‘I don’t know why Eddie or Portia would sabotage the whole trip,’ I say. ‘Then no one would get any money.’

  Felix nods, says nothing.

  ‘What?’ I say.

  ‘Oh, I’m probably just being paranoid. I just keep thinking about the tire and the starter relay, and now the ashes. I can’t imagine those guys in the truck would do that.’

  He’s not being paranoid. A few hours ago, I might’ve said he was, but I haven’t told him what I found near the car, right after Eddie searched through the bags. I haven’t even taken it out of my pocket. It’s still there, damn near burning a hole through my jeans.

  The button. A large, round, golden button.

  I wish we had never kept it.

  The Peak Valley Inn has a platinum-level vending machine. No empty spaces, no fading wrappers, no cracked plexiglass. A good mix of salty and sweet, plus individual packs of laundry detergent, toothpaste, and tampons. I’m so inspired that I do my laundry in their coin-operated machines, and it’s so impressive that they work I almost feel bad for underestimating this motel.

  While listening to the washer fill with water, I take the button out of my pocket. I can still see the engraving on the front. The finish has worn off in a few spots, but most of it still shines. It looks the same size, feels the same weight. I keep telling myself it can’t be the same button but I know it is.

  I take out my phone and send a text to Eddie and Portia.

  Whatever happened to the button?

  I hop up on the washer to sit and wait for their responses.

  When Felix and I got back from Buffalo Burger, Portia had woken up from her stupor and gone out in search of food. Eddie was either fighting with Krista or making up with her. Maybe neither, since he answers my text first.

  Why?

  Then Portia:

  Yeah, why?

  Neither answer reveals a thing, but I know at least one of them is lying by omission. Has to be.

  No reason. Being on this trip just made me think about it.

  Eddie doesn’t answer. Portia sends a text only to me.

  You okay?

  I say:

  Sure. Probably still buzzed or something.

  Weirdo.

  True.

  I don’t answer again. I just hold it in my hand while my laundry cycles through wash. When it hits rinse, I get another text.

  You okay?

  This one is from Felix, who’s probably worried because I’ve been gone so long. Maybe he needs a cigarette and can’t find them because I took them all.

  To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of gaslighting him. He should’ve figured it out by now. I’m disappointed that he hasn’t.

  5 Days Left

  It looks warm outside but it isn’t. In Wyoming, the sun is a liar. Our first road trip was in August and I swear it was cold then. Now it’s September and it’s even worse. I brought a jacket for this and am not happy about putting it on. We don’t have these problems in Florida.

  First thing in the morning, Eddie is at the car and rummaging through it again. This must be the tenth time.

  ‘Find anything?’ I say.

  ‘No.’

  ‘This feels like the Arctic,’ Portia says. She walks up behind me, wrapped up in layers and a hoodie pulled tight around her head.

  ‘Have you been to the Arctic?’ I say.

  ‘I have now.’ She calls out to Eddie. ‘Find anything?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I can’t believe we lost Grandpa,’ she says.

  ‘Nobody lost him. He was stolen,’ Eddie shoots back.

  She whispers in my ear. ‘Nobody stole Grandpa.’

  ‘No?’ I say.

  ‘Why would anyone steal ashes?’

  I shrug.

  ‘Hey,’ Eddie says to me. ‘Why did you ask about that button?’

  Eddie is in the middle row, where Felix and I usually sit, and he appears to be looking under it. ‘I don’t know, I was just thinking about it,’ I say.

  We’re interrupted by Felix. He’s rolling his bag across the cement and the wheels are so loud they probably wake up whoever is still asleep. ‘Chilly out here,’ he says.

  I nod. The rest of us have already had that conversation.

  Felix lifts his bag into the back. ‘Find anything?’ he says.

  ‘Not yet,’ I say.

  ‘Screw this,’ Eddie says. ‘It’s not here.’

  We could’ve told him that yester
day, after the first search, but he had to come to this conclusion on his own. Sometimes that’s the only way.

  Once our bags are in the back, we’ve checked our rooms one last time, and we turn in our keys, all of us pile into the car and get in our usual seats. Portia buries herself in the back. Felix and I sit side by side; he’s already on his laptop and I’m avoiding mine. Eddie cranks the heat up high and starts to drive out of the parking lot.

  That’s when I realize the passenger’s seat is empty. ‘Wait, you forgot Krista.’

  ‘No, I didn’t.’ Eddie keeps driving.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Portia lift her head.

  ‘Where is she?’ I say.

  ‘She left,’ Eddie says.

  ‘Left?’ I say.

  ‘Left. She called an Uber and went to Casper. She’s flying home today.’

  Silence.

  It goes on so long that Eddie speaks again. ‘We had a huge fight. She was pissed off and didn’t want to be here anymore. End of story.’

  I turn around to look at Portia. She shrugs and lies back down.

  ‘You mind if I get in the front?’ Felix says.

  ‘Nope.’

  Eddie stops the car and Felix looks at me. I wave him off, and he gets in the front. I have the middle row to myself.

  I’m not upset she’s gone, and I know Portia isn’t either. If it had been Tracy, who I knew a lot better, things would be different. Eddie is the one who should be upset, considering Krista’s his wife. He should be the one chasing her down to the airport and begging her to stay. In theory, anyway.

  In reality, he will do no such thing. Neither would I. Ashes or no ashes, we have to keep going if we’re going to finish this trip the way we’re supposed to.

  We stop for food and gas before heading toward our next stop in northern Wyoming. When we have a second alone, I ask Eddie if he’s okay. He shrugs me off, insisting he’s fine.

  ‘Krista can be … difficult,’ he says.

  I choose my words with care. ‘She’s a little emotional.’

  ‘More than a little.’

  We both smile.

  ‘Is there more to the story?’ I say.