by Vera Quinn
Copyright©2017 by Vera Quinn
Cover Designed by: Tracie Douglas at Dark Water Covers
Edited by: Nicole and Levi Lloyd
Format by: Liberty Parker
This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person or use proper retail channels to lend a copy. If you are reading this and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of this author. Only small excerpts may be used for review purposes of this material. All other use must have written permission from Vera Quinn. Address below:
[email protected]
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the product of the authors imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
This book is intended for adults 18+. This book contains adult situations and language, violence, drug use, and sexual activity. If any of this is offensive to you this may not be the book for you.
This novella has characters from a previous series and it is beneficial to read the three books in the Feral Steel MC series to grasp the characters.
To my husband and family.
To my awesome PA Nicole Lloyd and her amazing husband, Levi Lloyd. Thank you for stepping up and editing this novella for me.
To Liberty Parker for the beautiful formatting.
To Tracie Douglas for the beautiful cover.
This one is especially for my readers who are always so loyal.
Table of contents.
Copyright
Disclaimer
Thank You
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Epilogue
Follow Vera
It’s Christmas Eve and cold as hell for Oklahoma. We are below freezing early this year. The roads are iced over, so I am sitting here in my cabin by myself. I am wondering why the hell I didn’t just stay at the clubhouse tonight, at least then I wouldn’t be alone. This four-bedroom cabin seems like a tomb. My brother, Rye, was well on his way to being drunk and I am sure by now he is cock deep in one of the bitches around there. I am staring at the fire in my fireplace and feeling old. I thought by now I would have me an ol’ lady, children and a couple of grandkids running around. In my twenties; I was sowing my wild oats and didn’t care for having the same woman around every night. Hell, Rye, Whiskey and I shared many women together and with others. It was a different time then. We had a club to organize and build. We did that with blood, sweat, and hard work. We were the Black Brothers. We were making sure we kept our territory as we fought for respect and we earned it the same way. We were ruthless at times, but we were fair to people who deserved it. Anyone that came up against us didn’t live to tell the tale. I’d like to say those were the days to remember, but I don’t know if I would even believe it. Our thirties were more of the same, but by then we had let drugs and alcohol shade our better judgement. We turned the club outlaw and there were only a few things the BlackPath MC wasn’t into. We drew the line at human trafficking and if anyone touched a child then they were dealt with by club justice with no mercy. Whiskey was killed when we were in our late forties, Rye and I felt the pain of losing our blood brother to our core. We three thought we were invincible. The saying goes “ten-foot-tall” and bullet proof and that is exactly what we thought we were, but Whiskey was the glue that held the BlackPath MC together. Our two nephews, Cameron and Trent, had prospected and became members. Our club was growing and with the addition of Driller and Chief, our hopes were high. Then Whiskey was taken from us. He’s the only one of us brothers that had children that we knew of and he had a direction he wanted the club to go in. Some of the BlackPath brothers were lost when tragedy hit our family. Rye and I wanted retaliation for the blood of our brother and we did get it, but at a high price. The damage was done and when it was put to the vote Chief was given the President patch. Rye and I could live with that. It was the natural order of things. The leader of a motorcycle club hands the reins over to a son. The younger generation carries on, but Chief wanted to put the club in a different direction than what Rye and I were used to. Chief wanted security for his children. We’d been outlaw too long and staying on the right side of the law stuck in our craw. We decided it was time to reach out and move north. Rye and I had land in a few states we had bought along the way, but we chose Oklahoma, the thing is we weren’t ready to be put to pasture just yet. We had BlackPath blood still coursing through our veins and weren’t ready to hang our patches up, so with a little convincing we were given the go ahead to start a new chapter of the BlackPath MC in Oklahoma. Some of the brothers decided to go with us and we have picked up new members along the way. We ride the middle of the fence when it comes to being law abiding citizens. Isn’t that the point in life? Freedom. We stay close enough to the right side to not piss Chief and the Texas chapter off, but we aren’t above putting someone to ground for fucking with us. I always thought there was time. I am well into my fifties, hell, who am I kidding, I am knocking on sixties door. Rye met the milestone two years ago and we are both alone. The random pussy stage is gone. The drinking all night leads to a couple of days of a hangover. The club has been our life but Rye and I both know the day will come when we will not be able to keep this life up forever. Our time is getting close to running out. Tick tock goes the clock of life and the only way to stop it is to stop living. I haven’t thought of myself without including Rye or the BlackPath MC in a while, but we all go out of this world alone. It will be my path to travel alone. Not long ago I thought I had someone to enjoy my chrome days with. That’s right, I said it. Bikers don’t go gray or silver we go chrome. Laugh your ass off at me, it doesn’t matter. Bikers are a special breed that don’t age like a fine wine but more like an aged whiskey in my circumstances, the taste of a bourbon.
The one woman that caught my eye and then held my attention was Kat Steel. She is the only woman who has kept my attention for years. I knew Kat when she first started hanging around with the Feral Steel MC. I have known or guessed some of her hidden secrets for many years. When she was first at the Feral Steel clubhouse she was a meek innocent little thing. Too innocent to be hanging around a clubhouse full of bikers. The first time I laid eyes on her she took my breath away with her sweet soul. It echoed off her in every way. She had this light about her. None of the Feral Steel MC deserved her. Steel and Chainz, his brother, didn’t deserve her sweet goodness. Kat had a shit childhood with parents that were obsessed with appearances and the good book. I’ve never read anywhere in that book where it says to abandon your child when they are in need, but Kat made the best of the situation. Steel should have taken better care of Kat’s innocence, but she was thrown into the club life and to hell with the consequences. The consequences that neither-nor Chainz or Steel lived to see. The fall out is still going on. Kat grew into a strong, take no shit, woman that stood alone and answered to Devil, her only remaining child, for all their sins. I tried to be there for Kat, but she has built a strong wall around that heart of hers. I tasted that sweet body of hers, but she won’t let me near the one thing I crave. Her heart. I know I sound like a sniveling teenager in love for the first time, but I am a man that knows who and what I want. Kat is around, and she even stays with me a lot of times. When she graces me with her presence in my bed but after we ha
ve fucked each other, she is gone to the spare bedroom. She won’t let me hold her all night long. She won’t let me tenderly make love to her. We talk about our families, hers being Devil and his family and mine the club for so long, but now I have Tara. I know, I know. I sound awful even to myself, but after all these years of living my life the exact way I wanted to and now to know that I can’t, is messing with my brain thoughts. I have a woman I want for more than one night, but if I push too hard she runs. I am too damn old to chase her, because once I catch her, the whole alpha biker thing is not going to work. She has lost too much to my lifestyle; a son, a daughter, and a husband. A husband that she never even knew. I want to share my life with her, but she doesn’t want it.
Then there is my daughter that I never even knew I had, Tara. For over twenty years I have had a daughter and the bitch that had her never even let me know. We are strangers. Not that we would have been good parents together, hell, not even that I would have been around to be a dad, but I should have been given the choice. Now at my age, I am trying to build a relationship with a daughter that I never knew existed and Tara knows nothing about me or my lifestyle. Tara knows nothing about having a father and I know nothing about having any children, let alone a daughter. We are making our way one slow step at a time.
You think I would be a man with regret, but I am not. I can’t be. The whole thing about living your life free and ignoring most people’s laws without the restraint of boundaries set by some, is accepting your own mistakes. Accepting the consequences of your own actions. I do, and my ma used to always tell me that “everything happens for a reason and with a design in mind.” Not everything in life is chosen by what we do but by our reactions and I understand that. I accept it and embrace it. There is a reason for Tara coming into my life now and I need to be patient and the reason will be shown to me in its own time. Could be because I have not the slightest idea how to deal with babies or children. I’ve watched Chief and Driller, my nephews, with their children. Then there is Devil and Callie with their children, but it looks like work that I have no time for. If knowing myself makes me an asshole, then I am an asshole. Ma always said know your strengths but damn sure know your weaknesses, and I do. Tara is an adult and adults I know how to deal with. I may not have been there for her growing up, but I can damn sure deal with anyone that hurts her now, and I will. We’ll find our way, eventually. At least we have each other now, but here I am on Christmas Eve alone with my thoughts.
I walk over to the fireplace and bank my fire, so I can hit the bed and try to get some sleep. I just want to get tomorrow over with. Tara said she would call me tomorrow to check in and I am looking forward to talking to her. I hear a soft knock on my door. I look at the clock on the wall. It’s late for most people and I don’t know who would be knocking on my door this late at night. I stand up and take my hideaway gun off the shelf next to the fireplace. I put the screen over the fireplace and I hear the knocking again. I walk over and look out the window and I can’t believe my eyes. Kat is standing there with shopping bags in her hands. I walk over to the door and open it.
“Are you just going to stand there gawking or are you going to help me get everything inside?” I ask Bourbon. He’s standing at the door with his mouth hanging open.
“What are you doing here? You said you wanted to be alone with your memories for Christmas. I thought you would be with your herd of grandchildren at Devil and Callie’s.” Bourbon tells me, and he is right. I just was not feeling the holidays this year. I don’t ever feel the holidays anymore, but I know it is a time for a change. Especially, if I don’t want to miss out on my grandchildren’s lives.
“It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind and I am a woman.” That gets me that sexy smirk I love.
“You are one beautiful woman. Come on in.” Bourbon takes the bags out of my hand and carries them into the kitchen with me following him. “What is all this? It looks like you bought enough food for a small army.”
“I have more bags in my SUV and a tree tied to the top. The man at the tree place tied it down for me and this is everything I need to fix all of us a big traditional Christmas dinner. I even bought real cranberries.” Bourbon’s eyes come to mine. I know Bourbon did not expect this. I have been pushing him away since the first night we were together. My emotions and moods have been all over the place for the last few years.
“Why?” Bourbon is a man of few words and I know he deserves this explanation. It has been a long time coming.
“Because I can.” I don’t give Bourbon much to go on. “Will you bring in the food and I will put it all away, and then we can talk?” Bourbon’s eyes never leave mine and when I am finished he just nods his head in a yes motion.
“If you make us some fresh coffee, I can live with that.” Bourbon waits for my answer.
“I can do that.” I answer Bourbon and he turns to leave but I catch his hand and pull him down to my level and kiss his lips softly and then let him go. He turns and goes out the door with a puzzled look on his face. I deserve that and more. I have had a hard few years. It wasn’t that many years ago that I thought I was a happily married woman but in reflection I don’t think I ever even came close to knowing the man I was married to and shared children with. I didn’t know my own children and the pain they harbored. Stone and Kimberly are gone by their own actions or someone’s reaction to their actions. A parent should never have to bury their children. I buried two of my three children and buried my husband. My relationship with my remaining son is strained at best. He doesn’t understand the decisions that his father and I made, and I was left to answer for those decisions on my own, but I wasn’t alone when I did. Bourbon stood beside me and a lot of the time he was holding me up because without his strength I would have been lost. I acted like a bitch and pushed Bourbon away every chance that I could, but he still opens the door for me and lets me in. I am here to start to pay this man back for the kindness he has shown me. This man will be my man by the time Christmas is over. He’s offered it before and I have turned him down every time, but I have finally gotten a grasp on my emotions and it is time to live.
I had to make three trips to get all the groceries into my cabin. I don’t know what Kat is thinking, there is enough groceries to last a month. Each time I carried bags into the kitchen I would glance at Kat waiting to try and get an idea on what this woman is thinking and planning. Maybe she is inviting the brothers up to my cabin for Christmas dinner. It’s been a while since we have had a real Christmas dinner. I don’t know if we have ever had a home cooked Christmas dinner. Usually we improvise with takeout warmed up from the day before. We live in a small private community and there is one diner to go to and it closes at ten every night and not open for holidays. The diner, a twenty-four-hour convenience store with gas pumps, and post office is the extent of our little community. It is what always drew Rye and myself to this place. Our family has owned land here since we were young and for some reason we never wanted to get shod of it. It was also the perfect place for us to start another chapter of the BlackPath MC. No one bothers us. The closest law is forty miles from here. We are on the edge of the county and if someone comes a snooping, we know it. Yep, if we get a home cooked Christmas dinner it will be a good day.
I’m keeping my eye on Kat. There’s something different about her. She kissed me. It was short and soft, but it is a first. I have always initiated any contact between us. Yes, I’ve had her moaning my name, but I have always had to be the one that made the first move. To tell the truth, I thought we were finished. I was tired of chasing after a woman that didn’t want to be caught. I knew the first time I touched Kat that if she let her guard down I could be happy with her for the rest of my time on this earth, but she has never indicated she would be receptive to any such relationship. At times, I didn’t even think she liked me. I have tried harder with Kat than I ever have with any woman. I tried to smooth things over with Devil for Kat, I held her as she cried and grieved her family, and I
discussed with her about my feelings towards Tara, but she never gave me anything but silence. When Kat helped Maddie leave Devil and Callie’s in the middle of the night it was the last straw. I was tired of trying to explain Kat’s actions when I don’t understand them myself. This last time with Maddie skipping out with her daughter hit a little too close to home. I would like to say I left that day for good, but I didn’t. It took months for me to confront her with my feelings with what she did. I don’t even want to think about the confrontation that took place between us. I just want to enjoy the time we have now. I know whenever she makes her peace offering to me then she will run again but this time I will not chase her. Again, I am too old for that shit. Hell, even when I was young I never chased a woman. No, if Kat goes, then that is on her. If she wants me, she knows where I am, but I will enjoy it while I can because who knows how many more holidays I have left in me. Damn, I feel tired. I finally get the last of the grocery bags in the back seat in my hands and that is when I see boxes of decorations and the wrapped boxes that look like Christmas presents but there is too many. What the hell has this woman got up her sleeve? I shut the back door and walk up the stairs to the porch and Kat is walking out.
“What’s taking so long? I need to get some things cooked tonight so I don’t have it all to do in the morning. We need to get the tree up and decorated too.” I look at Kat like she is crazy. It’s just the two of us why would we go to so much trouble even if the brothers come from the clubhouse they won’t care if we have a tree or not. Most of the brothers have left to go home and the rest have family close to visit in the morning. Kat holds the door open for me. I walk in and she follows. I carry the bags and put them on the table and I see Kat has all the other groceries put up except for the turkey and it is sitting on the cabinet. I turn to Kat.