OUTLAW'S BABY

by Amy Brent

  “I never hated you, Anthony. I was just jealous of all the attention you were giving to those other women. Why would you do that to me when you felt the way that you felt?” I didn’t know what was going on in his head and I certainly couldn’t read it like a cheap novel.

  “It’s going to sound really stupid, but I wanted you to hear me with them. I wanted you to be desperate to be with me. I never thought you would take it that far. I was hoping, but I would’ve liked to be a part of it, instead of an empty shell.” He grazed my cheek with his fingertips and I laid my face into the palm of his hand. I closed my eyes and being this close and intimate was not what I was expecting from this conversation.

  “Anthony, I don’t feel right about keeping this a secret, but I understand where you’re coming from. I think it’s foolish of us to think we can keep this a secret forever. Eventually, I’m going to begin showing and not even frumpy clothing and loose fitting attire are going to be able to hide that for long. We might have six months, but that is not a foregone conclusion. I’ve no idea how my body is going to react or how big I’m going to get. Are you still going to want me when I am fat?” I lost control and I wept into his arms with him holding me by the small of the back.

  “I don’t know if I’m in love with you, but I do have deep feelings that go beyond just friendship. I don’t know what love is. I have no idea if I would even recognize it if it slapped me across the face. I do want to tell you that I will always be there for you. Six months is more than enough time. I just got word the Vikings are looking to sign me to a multiyear contract deal. That team has always been the one that I wanted to play for and this will give us the opportunity to get some distance between us and our parents.

  “Nobody will know us in Minnesota and we can begin our life with a family of our own. We’re not related, so there is no stigma, but I don’t think our parents are going to see it that way. We’re just going to have to break it to them when they come to visit. In the meantime, we will make sure to keep this on the down low. This is for our ears only and maybe a doctor. I’m not going to go to my regular Dr. I just have to find some referral and then we can take it from there.

  He was holding my hands lovingly and this was not the same ego driven football star with no morals or scruples to speak of. He was showing me real kindness and not dismissing me out of hand. “I don’t know where we go from here, Jessica. We have a plan, but plans are made to be broken. Let’s hope the secret doesn’t get out some other way, until we are ready to tell everybody.

  “I know that you can’t say that you’re in love, but I can. I’ve been in love with you for a very long time and I never knew how to tell you without sounding completely around the bend. I shouldn’t have done what I did, but I can’t take it back. You have crippled my heart and I metaphorically bleed any time that you show any other girl any attention. Are you sure that this is what you want? I would hate to wake up several years from now and know that I was not what you wanted.”

  “I have this protective need to keep you close. I’m glad you can say the words so easily, but for me it’s more complicated. I’ve seen my mother toss that word around too many times to count and never once did it last. I don’t know if your father is different, but I hope for our case they will be able to make it work.”

  “I want you to come along with me and don’t be scared. I’m going to set you free from having to give out your affections freely to anybody that is looking to trap you in some sort of loveless marriage.” He kissed me and this was not the kind that made me feel that he was doing it just because of sex. He really did have this devotion for me and the child. I couldn’t hope for a better result to this bombshell I was laying at his feet.

  “I’m not scared. Who am I kidding, I’m terrified of what kind of parents we’re going to make. I’m guessing a lot of people go through these emotions when they are expecting.” I held him for as long as possible, but we needed to separate and make it look like nothing was amiss. “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to look at you, Jessica without smiling all the time. You’re carrying my baby. A little life is growing inside you at this very moment.” I just wanted him to put his arms around me and never let me go.

  “Believe me; I’m just as shocked as you are. If you’re holding my hand, I know that I can endure anything. I expect you to be in the delivery room when this little bundle of joy is ready to come out to the real world.” I was not going to be some old fashioned wife that was barefoot and pregnant and cooking in the kitchen. I had designs on becoming a veterinarian and I was not going to allow this little hiccup to cause me to change my choice of profession. I was not going to get caught in a waitress job or wile away at home with the child while Anthony was putting food on the table.

  “I want you to walk on your own. I will be there to support you in whatever way you need. I want all of your dreams to come true, Jessica. I want us to have a life. I never thought the feeling of being all alone would be replaced by an instant family. This is everything that I’ve wanted and more. I don’t think I could be any happier.” He lifted me by my armpits and twirled me around. I was bigger than most girls and I was going to get even bigger. It appeared that he was quite happy with more to love.

  While he was wringing his hands and pacing back and forth on the floor, I called around and finally found a Dr. that was willing to see me on such short notice. He drove me to the clinic in the next town over and we waited to be seen by this old fashioned doctor with grey in his hair and beard.

  “It’s very refreshing to see young people like yourself taking your responsibilities seriously. If you were wondering, you are pregnant and I believe it has been less than a few days. I’m guessing this doesn’t come as any big shock, but now the real work begins. You’re going to have to come in for regular checkups and eventually I am going to have to prescribe prenatal vitamins. I’m guessing in this day that you want a natural childbirth. May I suggest taking classes? I can help you with that and I have a few cards I’m going to give you.” He was a kind father figure, but I wondered what he would do if his baby girl was pregnant.

  “You have made this very easy for us, Dr. Colton. I appreciate that you’re not looking at me with judgment or condemnation. Accidents happen all the time, but I never thought I would be part of one. We didn’t plan this, but we are very excited and scared to be parents.” Anthony was looking at his phone and I could tell from his expression that he was not happy.

  “I hate to do this, but the coach has the head of that organization waiting to meet me. I don’t want to leave you, but this is important for our future. This meeting is either going to take my career to the next level or not. I have to prove to them that I’m a team player. I’ve been known to hog the ball. Before I forget and I know it’s a touchy subject, but… damn… I don’t know how to say this without sounding crass or perverted. It’s just that…” For the first time in his life, I noticed that Anthony was having a hard time putting something into words. It was kind of refreshing to see that he didn’t have a silver tongue all the time.

  “I’ve been doing this a long time and I already know the question on your mind. There’s no reason why you can’t continue conjugal activities in the bedroom. In layman’s terms, you can still have sex like wild animals.” I blushed and I looked at the both of them and then turned my body away with embarrassment.

  Chapter eight

  Sneaking off to a hotel in the same town that I had found my Dr. was the best way to be together without people becoming suspicious or judgmental. I had gone to great lengths to make this night something special. The only thing missing was that little something. I wanted to make his eyes come out of his head when I revealed my special surprise to him.

  I found myself walking casually into a sex shop that catered to those looking for something more than just a regular piece of lingerie. I had on a grey trench coat and a pair of oversized glasses with a scarf wrapped around my head. I got the outfit from a second hand store down the stre
et. I was trying to be inconspicuous, but I think I stood out like a sore thumb.

  “Let me guess, this is your first time coming here and you’re not exactly sure what you’re looking for. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about and everybody that comes through those doors are here for the same thing.” Her name tag said that her name was Angela Evans and she was apparently the proprietor of this establishment. “I can tell from your eyes that this is to be something of an eye opening experience. Let me be your guide in everything that will make the night that much more explosive.” She was this black haired beauty wearing a bustier that barely covered her giant knockers. I was a bigger girl, but I had nothing of that magnitude. I was slightly enthralled by the look and shape of the curves of those perfect orbs.

  “My boyfriend and I are getting away from it all. I’ve already bought the red silk sheets and the candles with the incense of vanilla and cinnamon. I just need to take things to the next level. I don’t want him to see me as complacent or boring. I want to always be able to surprise him. This is my way of showing him that he doesn’t need anybody else in his life.” She walked away from me and motioned with her finger to follow.

  I bumped into this mannequin with peek-a-boo panties and wearing a bra that had no shame. I stared at it like it was alive, but I knew wearing something like that would take a lot more courage than I had.

  A hand touched my shoulder and I turned to see a bemused smile on Angela’s face. “That’s a little bit too demure and what you need is something that is going to totally knock his socks off. Our main objective is to get him so damn excited that he can’t take his hands off of you.” It was obvious that she had done this before for other clients. Housewives probably came through those doors feeling ashamed and then she was right there to put them at ease. “I think I might have a few things. Hopefully they won’t shock you too much.”

  She purposely led me to the back area away from any windows or the possibility somebody recognizing me from the street. She had me stay in there and I felt kind of foolish to be wearing this damn trench coat. I took it off and there was this long very revealing mirror that showed a woman that was not comfortable with these kinds of sexual overtures.

  She came back just at the precise time that I was about to walk out and never look back. “I don’t know if I can do this. This is not me and I don’t want to do something that is totally out of character. I’m sure others have taken your advice to heart, but maybe I should just go with something revealing, but still not showing everything.” She stood in front of the entrance to the back room with her hands holding a few delicate items.

  “I don’t know how many times a girl has said that to me. I always convince them that it’s better to air on the side of being nasty. Let me show you a few things and see if anything strikes your fancy. I’m not going to force you to stay and you’re more than welcome to leave anytime. I just think that you would regret it. You only get this one life to live.” She did make a valid argument and before long I was putting on a very explicit and risqué fashion show.

  “I’m leaning towards the red one. It does complement the evening that I have in mind. I’m also partial to that very sheer black baby doll nightie. I’m going to take the one that accents my curves in just the right way.” I didn’t consider myself fat, but I did have more meat than the average girl. I knew how to work what god blessed me with; even though there were times I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin.

  “I was thinking the same thing and I do believe that I’m going to give you a bonus. It’s a basic starter kit, but it will help you to enhance this evening, until the windows are steaming up.” She presented me with this odd assortment of items including a curved vibrator with multiple functions, along with a very discreet blindfold and fur lined handcuffs. She slipped it into a nondescript bag with no discernible markings to say where it came from.

  “I’m not sure if I’m going to use any of that, but it’s nice to know I’ll have it at hand.” I did enjoy pushing the envelope with my own pleasure, but could I even dare do something like that in the bedroom with someone else. The box Anthony had in his closet was not for the faint of heart. He was a kinky little son of a bitch, but it was his charm. It was just one of the reasons why I had fallen for him. He didn’t have possession of that box tonight, so maybe this would make a perfect substitute for what was missing.

  “If I were you, I would tell the guy you’re with that he shouldn’t be insecure about his body or his performance. This has nothing to do with that and is only an aid to turn things up a notch. I get this feeling from the look in your eye that you’ve already become quite aware of his obvious desires. Maybe tonight, you should let him play director.” She winked at me encouragingly, as I walked out of that sex shop feeling a little bit better about myself.

  I remembered what I looked like with a particular item on and I had no reason not to believe Bailey would be putty in my hand. I was even thinking about using the handcuffs and the blindfold to really give him something to remember. I’d already sent him a text message to tell him what room we were staying in.

  Thankfully, the shops were pretty much in walking distance of the hotel. I was able to do some necessary window shopping and peruse some of those finer things in life that only money could buy. I was not much for material things, but Anthony was going to have more than enough. I would never take advantage of him in that way, but I would not deny him the opportunity to shower me with gifts.

  I took a long walk in a nearby park sitting by a stream and feeding the ducks with that package of naughty things not too far away. Anytime somebody got close, I would grab that package protectively and hang onto it for dear life. I didn’t want the unnecessary possibility of someone knocking it over and seeing my dirty little secret.

  I got a text message back “I’m going to be a little late to the party, but if you want to start without me, then by all means. I think tonight is something to celebrate. I’ll know more information in an hour or so, but I am optimistic that things are going to work out. There are a few contentions that have to be ironed out, but it doesn’t look like they are unwilling to bend on a few key issues. My coach is doing most of the negotiation, but he’s using my notes to get me what I want.” I was happy for him and it looked like things were looking up.

  I had paid cash for the hotel avoiding any kind of entanglement of the credit card getting flagged or for some reason the credit card company informing my parents that I had used it for more than just an emergency. My father would not be very happy with me and I’m sure Allison would have a few choice words that were a little colorful.

  I found my way back to my room by avoiding the main lobby or any of the staff. It didn’t seem likely any of them would know me, but I wasn’t about to take that chance. Being pregnant was one thing, but having it splashed across the front page of the local newspaper was not something that I was looking forward to.

  I called down to room service and got what they call a surf and turf dinner. I ordered it before hand, but I told them that I would not need it, until the second part of my party arrived. They were quite accommodating. This hotel was not exactly four stars, but it was as close as I was going to get in this town.

  I laid the items on the bed and looked at them with the eye of a man. I actually found myself grabbing my crotch like a man would if they were feeling the least bit excited. I took off the trench coat and laid it very carefully over the chair. I took off my white crisp blouse. I undid one button at a time and then slid it over my shoulders and down onto the floor at my feet. With each item of clothing, I made a trail from the door to the bed with a smattering of rose petals to give it that extra touch.

  I was in my birthday suit. Looking in the mirror, I had to admit that I looked pretty damn good. I would’ve made the perfect plus size model. I had thought about it, but there was always something pulling me back from taking that kind of insane risk.

  It was a couple of hours later and heading into the 9:00 hour. I just
received a text that he was on his way and would be here in less than an hour. He didn’t say anything more and I wasn’t going to ask any questions in case it was supposed to be some big surprise.

  I put on the very revealing item, staring at myself from every angle, before lying down on the bed. I’d already made the bed with the silk sheets and the candles were ready to be lit. A box of matches laid on the night stand with the prerequisite alarm clock that was provided by the hotel. I fiddled with the dials, until I found a station of easy listening that was perfect for the kind of mood I was looking for.

  “Your father is going to be here any second.” I was surprised that I was even talking to the child like it was already out of the womb. I’d heard that it was good to let the child know who his parents were before he came into the world.

  I called down to room service to send up the meal, but I changed my mind at the last second. I instead went with the staple of strawberries and whipped cream. I was sure that we would be famished after we were done and maybe then we would need something more of protein to keep our energies up. I was a little apprehensive and anxious at the same time. Our first time together was by my hand and this time I was going to let him take control of the scene.

  I heard the clanging of wheels and I had requested they just leave it and go. I was really in no condition to open the door without making some bellboys night. I slipped the blindfold over my eyes and I was essentially vulnerable and exposed in a way that I had never been before. I slipped them over my wrist and I was now ready to greet him with a sight he would never forget.