Burn, Baby, Burn

by R. J. Blain

  “It’s keeping you busy while waiting for the ambrosia to wear off, and you can’t return to Earth until it does. It will only take another hour or two unless you burn off a lot of magic.”

  I perked my ears forward. “Map, chalk, ink, paper? I make trail! That burn magic, yes?”

  “Yes, I suppose it would.”

  “Give!”

  Anubis grumbled something in another language, swept out his hand, and snapped his fingers. The items I asked for manifested on the ground.

  Whinnying, I snatched the map in my teeth, which depicted the entire United States, and I shook it out, spreading it over the grass. “Open ink, please.”

  Anubis chuckled but did as asked. “I’ll be very curious to see if you can open a pathway back to Samuel.”

  “Oh, that good idea. I was going to try for mystery mother or father, but I like that idea better.”

  “You would.” Shaking his head, my grandfather set the paper in front of me and picked up the piece of chalk. “Would you like me to powder this for you?”

  “Please.” I concentrated on the map, and since I already knew where my Quinn was, I tapped the spot with a claw. Put there once powder.”

  The chalk didn’t stand a chance, and the Egyptian wolf god dumped the powder onto the map as directed.

  I engaged in a staring contest with the map and the pile of chalk. “Path to Quinn. No toy with me, magic. To Quinn.”

  The divine howled his laughter, fell over onto his side, and writhed.

  The only appropriate response was to claw and bite him into submission, but before I could act on the impulse, the chalk erupted into golden light, and a trail formed leading across the sunlit, grassy plain. “Oh, path. I kick and bite you later,” I promised.

  “Must you?”

  I snorted flame, lifted my head, and trotted after the glowing trail. “Yes. You earn no kick or bite with bribes.”

  “You’re ruthless.”

  I swished my tail, pleased with the divine’s complaints. “I try. Now, hurry. You no fall behind. You slow.”

  “Sane people are afraid of me, you know.”

  “Sane people not your grand-daugh-ter. You like me, no lie. Have to be a little insane to deal with crazy Quinn family,” I muttered. ”Be happy I little insane.”

  “I’m getting you a dictionary for Christmas, and we’re going to sit together and learn new words. None of those words mean what you think they mean. For example, you are not a little insane. You are a lot insane. Also, our family is not that crazy.”

  “While you get me dic-shun-air-ee, I get you mental help. You need.”

  Anubis sighed.

  Chapter Twenty

  Quinn

  It took me several tries to figure out how to shift back to being a cindercorn, and when I did, the urge to light something—anything—on fire surged through me. When I snorted, flames roiled from my nostrils, which only strengthened the need to torch anything unfortunate enough to cross my path.

  I pawed at the hard ground, tearing at it with my claws until the urge passed.

  “Damn, you’re pretty,” Tiffany announced.

  I whipped my head around, flattened my ears, and displayed my teeth.

  “You won’t eat me, so don’t even posture, Mr. Samuel Quinn. Bailey would get mad if you did that, and you’re certainly not going to eat Janet, either.”

  “Your confidence is going to get you bit one of these days,” I predicted.

  “Hot damn. Your English is good. Poor Bailey struggles. How’d you pull that off?”

  “I had help,” I confessed.

  “Okay, that’s fair enough. Your transformations are much smoother than Bailey’s, too. I wonder if you can help her with them. It didn’t look like it hurt you at all?”

  “It hurts some, but I’m used to it. I’ve been shapeshifting for a long time.” I shook my head and quelled the urge to snort more fire and try to ignite the dirt. “Janet, do you remember when you were petrified?”

  Judging from her attire, she’d been taken—and petrified—shortly after leaving work. I couldn’t sense any of the warmth I associated with a pregnant woman, either, much to my relief.

  Janet huffed. “I’d just made it home from work. I was getting out of my cruiser in my own damned driveway; I’d worked a longer-than-normal shift, and my driveway was dark when I got home. Two gorgons caught me by surprise.”

  “Males?”

  “One male, one female, but I didn’t get a good look at either one.”

  “Bailey torched the male. There isn’t much left of him.”

  Janet raised a brow. “She did?”

  “She reduced him to a pile of ash right before I reversed your petrification. She lost her temper.”

  “Damn. I wanted a piece of him. And I can’t get a piece of Winfield, either. I mean, I guess I could go in and shoot his body a few times, but that’s not exactly satisfying. Also illegal. I still haven’t figured out what happened to him.”

  “He got rammed by six hundred plus pounds of angry unicorn.”

  “That’s gross. Bailey got a hold of him, too?”

  “He pointed a gun at me.”

  “Death by stupidity. Only an idiot would point a weapon at you with her around. With both of you working the Manhattan circuit, you’re going to be untouchable.”

  “That was the CDC’s angle when pitching her transfer to the NYPD.” I flicked an ear back. “It makes me wonder if Clemmends knows something I don’t. I’ve never needed strong security before.”

  Thanks to my magic, I made my own security, and when I was in the field, I was usually with several pairs of officers. Accidents could happen to anyone. While my predecessor had been murdered, and while I often became a target of the vengeful, I’d never really considered any of the situations I faced to be particularly dangerous.

  My heritage helped with that. I hadn’t even needed to use any of my natural defenses to protect myself. When my gun didn’t suffice, someone nearby handled the situation before I had to rely on petrifying someone.

  I had no doubt I’d one day have to petrify someone while on duty, but I’d enjoy playing at being human until then. Once the secret was out, I’d have to reveal the entirety of my DNA test to prove I was mostly human with an odd smattering of other species. Some vanillas, like Bailey’s parents, would pitch a fit about it.

  I’d enjoy reminding them that they were at the mercy of people like me to keep them safe as they had few ways of protecting themselves. The laws favored vanilla humans, but the laws only went so far.

  If I really wanted, I could give the Gardeners a taste of their own medicine. Unless they did something to Bailey, I wouldn’t, but I’d enjoy thinking about it.

  My worries over my wife intensified, and I took my agitation out on the fence, melting the nearest section to a smoking puddle.

  Janet whistled. “Remind me never to piss off a unicorn.”

  Tiffany laughed. “Bailey’s worse. She cusses while lighting things on fire. Sam’s just anxious because Bailey’s not here right now. Go do your sweep of the building, Sam. I’ll keep an eye out for the tankers and whistle when we’re ready to get this show on the road.”

  I stepped over the molten steel and trudged to the dome to start there. In the time I’d taken Janet to Tiffany and called the CDC, nothing had changed. Aware of the possibility of disease and gorgon dust in the building, I checked John Winfield’s body, removed his possessions, and dumped them near the fence.

  “Janet, when the tanker arrives, have someone scan these for contaminates. They’re from John Winfield’s body, and they might have evidence on them.”

  “You slobbered on the evidence,” she complained.

  I glared at her. “The evidence will survive, and it’s not like we need fingerprints from the corpse’s possessions. We know exactly what killed him, we know he was involved, and there might be intel from his stuff. It’s not like I can drag his body out here.”

  “Why not?”

&nb
sp; “I don’t think he’d stay intact,” I admitted. “That plus he might be contaminated.”

  “That’s disgusting.”

  “That’s what happens when a large and angry unicorn crashes into a human at full throttle. Honestly, I’m impressed she didn’t go through the wall.”

  “Don’t tell Bailey I said this, but the next time I have a questionable shift, I want her to be my partner.”

  “I’m thinking about partnering you with Perkins and Nilman. That’s not quite as good as Bailey, but they’ll take care of you.”

  “Chief, that would be three of us working together. What happened to us working in pairs?”

  “You’d have to work with Bailey and I directly, so having three of you makes sense. If you three are used to working together, we won’t have issues in the field.”

  “Sounds good to me. Manhattan is a major upgrade to the Hamptons. Hell, truth be told, that’s enough motive alone for me to think Morriston’s being a dick.”

  “I really hope Morriston is not that idiotic. There aren’t enough people with the right ranking to lose a chief to blatant stupidity.”

  “With Bailey working directly with you, Manhattan could absorb the Hamptons’ turf with no difficulties.”

  “Except location, location, location,” I reminded her. “That’s a hell of a long drive. And Long Island doesn’t have enough chiefs in the first place. I am not up for managing Manhattan and Long Island, Janet.”

  “Nonsense. You’d handle it with grace and dignity. It’s not like the Hamptons are a hotbed of magical crime. It’s mostly mundane shit and the overly wealthy crying that they might be targeted by someone who isn’t as well off as they are.” Janet shook her head. “Manhattan would be a major upgrade for him, but he’d have to get rid of another chief elsewhere to get moved—because the Hamptons can afford to go without a chief and use a network of captains.”

  “I’m thinking about making you do detective work with Perkins and Nilman when I don’t need you, and you three whiners will like it,” I announced.

  “I can’t tell if we’re being rewarded or punished,” she admitted.

  “Both,” I promised. “As you’ll get bored if I don’t give you something to do, bump heads with Tiffany and put together as much intel for me as you can, aware we’ll see the information in the investigation. Tiffany, no spicing up the evidence, no making it sound cooler with embellishments, and for fuck’s sake, no collecting misdemeanors.”

  Tiffany tossed her head back and laughed. “I’ll let you off the hook just this once, Sam. I think we’ve all had enough excitement for one day.”

  No kidding.

  Bailey

  The grassy plains made way for desert. An endless sea of sand stretched out before me, and the sun blazed overhead. A yellow haze filled the sky, as though it burned. The heat embraced me, and I picked up the pace. The sand and gently rolling dunes gave way to hard-packed ground, which in turn rose into craggy hills. A hole in the stone led underground, and my magic illuminated the way.

  “Oh, that’s clever,” Anubis said.

  I snorted, having forgotten the divine accompanied me. “How clever?”

  “Technically, all planes of existence meet at nexus points. If there wasn’t a connection point, we couldn’t teleport. View it as a hall with many doors, except the nexus is just a place of energy. And light. I suppose a little light from your world would reach this one at one of those points, but you would have to wait for dawn to return without the help of additional magic.” Anubis grunted. “I think.”

  “You think?”

  “It didn’t occur to me you might have magic enough to use the nexus. I didn’t think to check. I made some assumptions based on what I know of your lineage.”

  “It nice to know even di-vine mess up.” I swished my tail, lowered my head, and delved into the cave. “This world weird.”

  “The universe is a weird place, yes. But an interesting place. A world without amusing little beings like you would be rather dull.”

  “I have question.”

  “Ask.”

  “If I have four par-rents, why only know two?”

  “We divines aren’t the brightest at times—and I don’t think it occurred to either one of them that a possession could lead to them having children. I doubt it even occurred to them to check if they had produced a child. And even if they had thought to check, they would assume the child was of human nature. Divine doesn’t mean we’re infallible. We have to have the presence of mind to look into the past—or the future. It’s much easier to look into the past than it is the future. It’s usually not worth the hassle.”

  “But you do look into future?” I asked.

  “Of course. As I said, we’re not infallible, and we’re as curious as humans at times. And for those of us who have mortal children, we’re more inclined to put in the effort. Mostly. But I would suggest you not judge your divine parents harshly. They truly didn’t know of your existence.”

  “How you know?”

  “I asked.”

  I blinked, halted, and swung my head around to face him, yelping as I banged my horn into the stone. “You ask? How ask? Why ask? When ask?”

  “Are you going to ask who I asked and where I asked, too?”

  “Okay. Who ask, where ask?”

  “You’re supposed to guess who they are,” Anubis complained.

  “Com-plain, com-plain, com-plain. You tell me to ask questions.”

  “Samuel deserves every last bit of trouble you give him,” Anubis muttered. “I asked recently, shortly after you went on your trip with your friend but before I joined you here.”

  I considered his answer, and as that was a rather short period of time, especially for a divine, I resumed my hike into the passage leading underground, following the pink, shimmering trail of light. “That fair. Why ask?”

  “I wanted to prepare them for the marvel that is your existence. Even the divine need some warning about things like this. Your father, in particular, has a healthy sense of curiosity. Your mother is less curious, but she will wallow in guilt for inadvertently abandoning you. It was as much for their benefit as for yours. I’m benevolent like that. At times.”

  “Are you good god or bad god?”

  “I’m both. I’m more neutral than anything else. My wife is typically considered a good divine unless provoked. She’s a protector. Technically, I am as well, but not in the way people think.”

  I considered him and his role in Egyptian lore. “You protect the natural order of death. You preserve death. Ensure those who die, die as fated?”

  “That’s a rather good way of looking at it. I help maintain order among the dead until they are renewed into life. Death is not as permanent as most like to think, though some do opt to remain dead—or have not earned their way back into the light. It’s complicated.”

  “Life is.” The natural passage widened to a massive staircase of carved stone, and the paintings I associated with Egyptian tombs decorated the walls. A faint, golden light illuminated the way, and I took care with my steps so I wouldn’t tumble head over hoof into the depths. “I part Egyptian? In truth?”

  “In truth. Your children will have their fair share of Egyptian in them, too.”

  “They better not walk funny.”

  Anubis snorted. “I see you’re comfortable with the idea of having children.”

  “Want all the children. I get two for Christmas! Children are for hugging and loving, and they be the best children.” I pranced and swished my tail. “I fight for them in match!”

  “You’re married to an incubus, Bailey. You can have as many children as you want whenever you want.”

  I halted, tripped over my own hooves, and rolled to a halt. I landed on my back, snorting at having made an idiot out of myself. “No ask Quinn yet,” I confessed.

  “You could always surprise him.”

  “Can’t, he cheat. No babies unless ask. Me too coward to ask.” I rolled back to my hooves and
shook out my fur. “You no tell soul I fall down steps because we talk kids.”

  “If you don’t want to ask him, you can ask one of us to take care of the matter.”

  I pricked my ears forward. “Be present to Quinn? Surprise?”

  “I can confirm he is almost as child-focused as you are and would be very pleasantly surprised.”

  I pranced on the steps, careful to keep from falling again. “Please? Please? All children!”

  “You’re going to need to open a nursery at the station if you have all the children, Bailey.”

  “There day-care next door. Good place. Cops use often. They good place, pro-tec-ted.”

  “You have an entire family of divines who would be happy to babysit for you as needed.”

  “That sound scary.”

  Anubis laughed. “You’re wiser than you look.”

  “Don’t want kids tied to chair for ex-po-sure therapy.”

  “We didn’t exactly tie Samuel down. We just didn’t let him go home until he became accustomed to us is all. It wasn’t that bad for him. Truly. He was just heavily sheltered until his mother felt he was ready to handle the insanity. If your children are exposed from birth, our insanity will be their normality. You must admit, Bailey. Little about you is normal.”

  “My poor babies.”

  “Somehow, I think they’ll be just fine. I recommend you ask either the angel or the Devil for help with your scheme. Both can trick our little Samuel into behavior conducive for the development of little ones. I recommend you set a fixed number of children per pregnancy, else you may be surprised.”

  I lifted a hoof and revealed a single claw. “This many.”

  On second thought, if we only had one, they would be severely outnumbered by the adopted children. I revealed a second claw. “This many. That make even number of children. Only this many. You make sure those pesky divines know this. And those pesky others, too. This your job.”

  “Only you would boss a divine around and expect results,” Anubis complained. “In this case, you’re getting what you want, but don’t expect that in the future.”