by Lilia Moon
I tip my head down, letting rain run down my nose. I’ve spent my whole adult life raising my girls to be strong, proud women, worthy of anyone. How did I do such a poor job on myself?
The gold door slides open and he bundles me inside. I say nothing as the floor rises under our feet. As we exit onto red carpet thick enough to swallow my wet boots. As he opens a door with a swipe of his thumb and leads me inside.
He ate pizza with me. Asked me questions and listened for the answers. Shattered my preconceived notions about what I want and need from a lover. Cooked me breakfast. Refused to let me hide.
I will not ask him why.
To do that is to doubt the truth that lived in every single one of those moments.
I breathe in, feeling some of what came to life under his hands stand up and refuse to be a wimp. Some of what I let come to life.
I look up and take in the sweeping vista that is his condo. It’s beautiful, in a magazine-cover kind of way. Streamlined and masculine and pristine, like whoever lives here doesn’t dare to make a mess. Or isn’t here often enough to leave bits of his life strewn around.
I meet his eyes and find a smile. “It doesn’t look quite as lived in as my house.”
He lays a thick, brown towel in my hands. “Gabby, I see you and your amazing, warm, real life, and it’s all I can do not to drool.”
I can feel so much of me still struggling to believe. I go with the part that feels a satisfying glow. “Thank you.”
His eyebrows go up, and I can tell I’ve surprised him.
I look around again as I do my best to mop up my hair and the worst of the wet in my clothes. “Thank you for bringing me here. It helps me to understand a little more of who you are.” I’m noticing a few signs of life I didn’t see at first. A bookshelf lined with spines that look like they’ve been read. A small display of photos in the corner. Tantalizing glimpses of a really amazing kitchen.
He follows my eyes and laughs. “The kitchen is the only part I didn’t leave up to the decorator.”
There. I need to lean on those things. The places where our worlds aren’t so very far apart.
He scoops me up, strides into the kitchen, and sets me down on the edge of the counter, his eyes twinkling. “Host a party with me. Here. An informal one, with people we really like.”
I stare at him. The rain has clearly muddled his brain. “What?”
His eyes are suddenly serious. “Try something with me that isn’t just a few weeks of sex.”
I swallow. “We already did that. When Jules and her girls came over. I’m sorry I didn’t see that for what it was.”
His forehead tips into mine. “Thank you. For seeing it now. And for fighting the loud voices in your head that think you don’t belong in my life.”
I wince. “I’m supposed to tell you about those.”
He laughs and hugs me in tight. “We’re both fighting them today, sweetheart.”
My body stills, sure it just heard something really important. “What does that mean?”
He takes a deep breath and then backs up enough that I can see his eyes. “When I was in the kitchen with your granddaughters, I felt like an imposter. Like someone trying to borrow the really great parts of your life without putting in the time to earn them.”
I stare at him, this amazing man who can apparently be just as dumb as the dumbest of the thoughts in my head. “So, what—I don’t deserve spankings and great sex because I got to them a little late?”
He gapes at me.
I fold my arms across my chest. “I’m not giving those up.”
His startled grin makes everything inside me light up. “Duly noted.”
I hop down from the counter, determined to keep swinging this strange sword in my hands. “Come tell me more about this party. In your shower. I assume a fancy place like this has one of those.”
He’s laughing now—and coming exactly where I’m dragging him. “It does. Turn left.”
I do. The voices are trying to be loud again. To tell me that we’re dripping all over his pristine floor and that the last party I hosted was for five toddlers and that nobody this rich and worldly could possibly want to be with me.
I keep dragging.
I’m pretty sure those voices are no match for shower sex.
Chapter Forty-Five
Gabby
I close the door to Daniel’s master bedroom and lean against it, eyes closed. Gulping.
It’s been two whirlwind days pulling this party together. Inviting our friends. The people I work with, who conveniently date some of the people he plays poker with. Ari, who isn’t on either list and should be on all of them. My daughters. Mattie, to serve the food so that we don’t have to.
And we’ve been cooking. Simple appetizers and less simple ones. Working together in Daniel’s marvel of a kitchen, arguing over whose recipe for bite-sized quiches is best. Making both.
Discovering what music we both like—and what will make excellent torture material if I ever need it.
Collecting toys from my house for Evie and Tash. Hiding the toys they’d find in Daniel’s very interesting bedroom drawers. Already, his condo looks far more lived in.
I open my eyes and try not to panic. It’s a small party. Something regular people do all the time.
A declaration that this is something more than a hot fling.
I walk over to the closet where he’s hung my garment bag. The one with the dress I bought, all shiny and new. I smile down at the toenails I painted to match. This sexy grandmother doesn’t do fancy shoes. Not when she might be playing on the floor with her granddaughters.
Evie and Tash will be here. My girls will be here. My friends and my cooking class guys will be here. None of them will judge me. None of them will think I’m not good enough for this man.
There’s so little to be scared of.
Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll believe it deep down where my most unruly fears live.
I hold a hand to my belly. If I’m not dressed fast enough, this bedroom’s owner is likely to come in here and dig me out—and if I’m naked when he does it, our guests will probably have to wait out in the hallway for a while. Knowing who’s on the guest list, that’s probably not a good idea. They could get up to all kinds of mischief out there, and Evie and Tash aren’t even the most likely ringleaders.
I smile. I suddenly have such an interesting life.
I slide out of the simple jeans and top I wore to work in the kitchen. I left my hair down this morning, and it’s curling around my shoulders. The lacy black underwear I leave in place. Daniel’s already discovered it. It’s a good thing he’s not teaching my cooking class. He has far too many recipes that involve feeling up the kitchen help.
I rub my thighs together. I need to stop thinking about that or we’re going to be back to guests in the hallway and it will be my fault this time.
I take the dress carefully off the hanger and lay it on a bench at the foot of Daniel’s enormous bed. It’s midnight-blue silk, with skinny straps and a form-fitting bodice that does amazing things for forty-three-year-old breasts. When I put it on in the store I felt like I’d stepped out of one of the old movies, back when gorgeous women had curves and flaunted them.
I reach for the earrings I bought to match. Twinkling clusters of gaudy fake diamonds that somehow look quite glamorous with the dress.
I play just enough with the makeup I hardly ever wear to give myself movie-star eyes. A little shiny lip gloss that I can share with my granddaughters, and I’m ready for the dress.
I take a deep breath and slip into it, loving the feel of the silk sliding over my head and shimmering down my body. The skirt is full, several layers that swish around my legs and make me feel like dancing. There’s more than a little princess in this dress.
I reach around behind me to zip it up, and discover the dress’s single flaw.
Chapter Forty-Six
Daniel
I hear the bedroom door open and let out a sma
ll huff of relief. I could practically hear Gabby thinking in there.
Her face peeks around the corner. “Um, could I ask a favor? Could you help zip me up? I somehow bought a dress I can’t get into without help.”
A very enjoyable oversight for me. I lever myself out of the chair I’ve been skulking in. “I’d be happy to take care of that for you.”
“Just the zipper.” Her eyes are twinkling as she steps all the way out of the hallway and turns her back demurely. “I refuse to greet our guests naked.”
I groan at the swath of silky skin she’s just revealed. “Most of them wouldn’t mind.”
The tops of her ears turn pink.
I step in and brush my hands over the curve of her shoulders. The view down her front is amazing. “I do love this dress.”
She looks up long enough to figure out the path my eyes have taken and turns rosier. “Zipper. Please. Now.”
I’m smart enough not to take that order. I slide my hands in from the sides and cup two luscious breasts. “No bra. I very much approve.”
She’s already breathing faster. “The dress takes care of that.”
I kiss her ear, very tempted to tell her to lose her underwear too. But that’s not the purpose of tonight. I need to learn to lead with new strengths. Ones that don’t always involve her wet and wanting. I nibble down the back of her ear as I zip her up slowly.
Then I back away, far enough to get a really good view, and perch on the arm of a couch. “Turn around. Let me see.”
She does. And then she smiles and spins all the way around again, the dress flaring out from her legs. “It’s like a movie dress. One from those old dance films.”
The dress is stunning—and it can’t hold a candle to the woman wearing it. I don’t bother with the words. I just let my eyes skim over every inch of her.
By the time I’m done, she’s rosy and embarrassed and ready to stutter—and she’s also glowing.
We’re making progress.
She takes a deep breath and looks around at my sterile condo that has somehow been transformed by her presence. Then she looks at me sweetly, tipping her chin. “I can maybe imagine this in my life sometimes.”
Apparently I still haven’t made myself clear. I cross over to her and capture that chin in my hand. “Sweetheart, the only reason we’re doing this here is because it would bust the seams of your living room. This is just a container. Four walls that can hold this many people.”
She’s back to staring at me, dumbfounded.
I sigh. “Gabby, I’m not asking you to be part of my life. I’m asking to invade yours.” I pull her with me until I’m leaning against the arm of the couch with her between my legs. “When I imagine spending time with you next week or next month, it’s not here. It’s in your little two-bedroom house, maybe with a couple of munchkins sleeping over in the other bedroom.”
Her jaw literally drops.
I’m rushing her. Pushing way, way too hard. Which is a hell of a thing for a Dom known for timing his scenes to perfection. I dial back hard on the insanity I just ambushed her with. She’s here, in my home, about to mingle our worlds.
One step at a time. Starting with her seeing me stand proudly beside her while we hang out with some of the people who matter to us.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Gabby
“Don’t you dare.”
A hand swats at mine as I try to pick up a platter of appetizers. Mattie scowls at me, and it’s only partly in jest. “This is my job. Yours is to look sexy and to get waited on hand and foot.” She makes shooing motions with her hands. “Go. Out of my kitchen. Scoot.”
I hear snickers from the doorway and turn to see all three of my daughters standing there. Blue eyes and brown, all surveying the scene in Daniel’s kitchen and nodding at Mattie with approval. Jules grins. “We like her.”
I look down at their legs. No tiny terrors attached. “Who has the girls?”
Shani rolls her eyes. “Who doesn’t? I’m their auntie, and I think I might have to kidnap them to get a turn.”
“Seriously.” Amma steals a small brownie off one of the platters. Then she takes two more and grins at me. “Maybe these will work.”
Jules snickers. “Personally, I’m delighted to be at a party with good food and a dozen babysitters.”
Shani and Jules each grab one of my elbows and wave at Mattie. “Let us know if she tries to do any work again.”
I snort as they drag me back to the living room. I have way too many keepers tonight. “You people are all ganging up on me.”
Shani grins and pushes me toward the biggest couch. “This is entirely selfish. We’re thinking that if you go sit on Daniel’s lap, then maybe we’ll get some little-girl love.”
I look at the end of the couch where Daniel is happily ensconced with Tash in his lap. Evie’s doing gymnastics on Jacob’s knees, and Meghan, Milo, and Ari are clearly just waiting their turn.
Daniel looks up and sees me, and when he does, so does everyone else.
“Hey, Gabby.” Jimmy’s sitting in an armchair, with Doxy and a plate piled high with food in his lap. “Make Daniel share, would you?”
Tash eyes the big, loud man doubtfully. Doxy smiles and holds up a piece of apple with caramel, gentle invitation in her eyes. I hide a smile. Someone’s been paying attention—those are Tash’s absolute favorite.
Daniel’s eyes twinkle as he helps a suddenly mobile little girl slide down from his lap.
Sam moves in beside me. “I’m coming for a playdate with the cuties soon.”
I smile at him. He looks even more like a movie star than I do tonight. “I hear you’re working on having one of your own.”
His eyes shift to wistful in a heartbeat. “We are.” He shrugs. “Just look what they bring to this party. We want that in our lives every day.”
I’ve been watching. I’ve never seen quite so much hunger for something I take for granted. “You’ll have people lining up to help.”
“We know.” He looks at me quietly. “Does Jules know how many people here are kinky?”
I’m not the only one with unhelpful voices in my head. “She knows Damon owns Fettered, and Harlan works there, and that Jimmy’s in my cooking class. I didn’t out anyone, but if you’re asking whether she knows that there are Doms and subs holding her babies tonight? Absolutely.”
Sam breathes out softly beside me. “It’s still so easy to be scared. To make assumptions about what people will think.”
I wrap an arm around his waist and lean in. “I was single mom at seventeen. I get it.”
Mattie swings by us with a tray and kisses Sam. “She’s taken, pretty boy—but I’m not.”
He kisses her back and sighs dramatically. “Sadly, I am.”
She winks at him. “I know. But a girl can always hope.”
Leo leans over her shoulder and growls as he takes a nibble off her tray. “Hands off my guy, sugar. Find your own.”
“I’m trying.” She leans back into him and sighs. “Good Doms who want cuddles and babies are hard to find.”
I manage to hide a laugh. If my eyes are reading things right, she’s currently serving appetizers to a living room full of them. And not all of them are taken. I keep my eyes on her as she walks into the room, sits in the middle of the floor, and recruits Evie to help her distribute nibbles.
“Just what are you up to?” Daniel wraps his arms around me from behind, and his breath sends shivers running down my neck.
Whatever it was, I’ve just forgotten it. “Drinking in how wonderful this is. And imagining what you might do to me later.”
His growl resonates in my low belly. “I’d be happy to give you a taste now. They’ll never miss us.”
I laugh. “The place is crawling with Doms, mothers, and wedding planners.” It would take them all of three seconds to notice we were gone. “And small children with very big ears.”
His thumb draws a sinuous circle on my belly. “We haven’t tried elevator sex yet.�
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Chapter Forty-Eight
Daniel
She’s killing me without even trying. But I won’t drag her away. Not from this fantastic thing we’ve made together.
I’ve been to a lot of parties. Some of them have people sitting on laps, and some of them have small children, and some of them have good food and easy conversation. But none of them have ever blended everything together quite like this.
I hold Gabby in my arms and look at the magic happening in my living room. Emily’s sitting in Damon’s lap. She’s talking happily with Leo and two of Gabby’s daughters—and judging from the careful squirming, someone had a spanking not too long ago. Jimmy has somehow negotiated Tash all for himself, and Meghan’s sitting between two of Seattle’s toughest Doms with Evie sprawled across all three of them.
Instead of several carefully separate worlds—I suddenly have just one. And the woman in my arms is the magic dust that somehow makes it all work.
I just need to convince her, deeply enough, to believe in magic dust.
Milo makes his way over to us, regret in his eyes. “It’s my turn to go cover the floor at the club so that Quint can come hang out.” He leans in to kiss Gabby’s cheek. “I play poker here practically every week and I’ve never seen this place or this guy so happy. You’re really good for him.”
From some guys that would just be small talk. From this one, it’s almost a benediction.
Gabby steps out of my arms to give him a hug. “Thank you. We’re really glad you could come. Why don’t you stop off in the kitchen and ask Mattie to send back some treats with you?”
Milo gives her a level look. “Okay. I’ll do that.”
I’m clearly missing something. I wait until the quiet Dom who can build or fix anything disappears into my kitchen. “I got distracted the last time I asked this question. What are you up to?”
She leans back into me. “He’s been watching Mattie. And he’s shy. I’m just giving him a chance to say hello.”
He’s not remotely shy, but I don’t bother to correct her. Not when I saw the soft look in Milo’s eyes when Evie crawled into his lap. And the fascinated look in Mattie’s eyes as she watched.