The Rocker That Holds Her (The Rocker...)

by Terri Anne Browning

  The next weeks were busy. I had meetings with the record labels to sign contracts and start my rocker life. On top of that I was looking for the best assisted living facility that money could pay for. I wanted my mom on the West Coast with me so I could keep an eye on her in between the tours that Rich Branson had already committed us to.

  Each night after dinner the guys and I would call Emmie. She talked and talked and talked to Drake, Shane, and Jesse. But when it was my turn to chat I got cold, monosyllable answers. Was school going well? Yes. Was her mom treating her ok? Yes. Did she need anything? No. I felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly each night. When I found out that she was calling the others several times a day, it was another stab to the heart. The few times I had tried to call her in the middle of the day, I had only gotten her voice mail.

  By the time our first tour started I had things with my mom sorted out. She was living at one of the best facilities in the country and she seemed happy there. Her condition had seemed to worsen since we had gotten to California, and there were days that she didn’t even recognize me when I went to visit her.

  Stressed out, feeling heartbroken over my mom and the way Emmie was treating me, I started drinking. Not as much as Drake, but I was catching up. I felt angry all the time, lost and lonely more often than not. This was the life I had always wanted. The rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle that I had dreamed about for so long. I had a huge bank account, girls dropping their panties for me every night, fame, and best of all people were listening to my music.

  So why wasn’t I happy?

  Going Home

  “Good night, Cleveland!”

  I tried not to roll my eyes as Axton Cage stepped off the stage with a handful of roses, and even more panties.

  For the last three months we had been touring with OtherWorld. We were both headliners, and with each new city, we switched who would end the show. Since Cleveland was so close to our hometown, we were closing it out tonight. Of course that didn’t stop Axton and me from betting who could get the best reaction from the crowd.

  I had to give it to the man, he could rock hard. But I knew I was better, knew that I would get the crowd going more than he had. He stopped beside me as he left the stage, a bottle of water in his free hand, twirling a lacy black thong on his index finger. “Top that, fucker.”

  The thing about Axton was you either liked him or hated him. There was no in between with him. Lucky for him I happened to like the jerk, otherwise I might have already put my fist in his face and made him swallow some of those pearly whites in that perfect smile of his. But sharing one tour bus between the two bands on this tour had left us all as friends in the short time we had been on the road together.

  So I grinned at my new friend. “Oh, I plan on it.”

  Axton dropped his pile of flowers and underwear and opened his water. “Yeah, I figured you would.” He stood with me while the stage was turned from an OtherWorld wonderland to a Demon’s Wings nightmare theme. “There are a few hot ones in the front row. Maybe you’ll see something you like.”

  I gritted my teeth. “Yeah, maybe.” But I doubted it. In the year since Demon’s Wings had left Ohio for the bright lights of California, I had grown tired of all the girls throwing themselves at me. I hated to admit it to anyone, myself included, but I was tired of this life I had dreamed of for most of my life.

  Maybe it had something to do with not having Emmie in my life at the moment. The little baby doll that had been a huge part of my world wasn’t even speaking to me these days. I had hated the monosyllable conversations that we first had when I had moved away. Now I actually wished that I could even get that much out of her. I had to rely on Jesse, Drake, and Shane to fill me in on what was happening with her.

  I was hoping when we went to visit her the next morning I could get her to forgive me. That she would see things from my point and understand why I hadn’t given her a proper good-bye all those months ago.

  Halfway through our set I had the crowd chanting our name. I was in my element. The stage was littered with broken red roses, bras that had girls’ names and numbers on the inside cups, and panties. I had to admit that as tired as I was from all the other crap, I knew that I would never get bored with this. I loved performing for a live crowd, loved the reaction of the fans. Got high from the adrenaline rush it gave me.

  My full attention was given to the song I was singing. Winking, blowing kisses to the girls in the front row that kept throwing me roses as I sang. Rinse and repeat. I saw nothing beyond that. So when Jesse suddenly stopped drumming right in the middle of our last song I nearly stumbled on the words.

  Drake left me next, the guitar solo never coming, and I turned around to find that both he and Shane were running across the stage and heading straight for the crowd. Jesse was already in the masses, pushing his way through the now screaming fans as they tried to get to him. “Get the fuck off!” he bellowed and then he was on his knees.

  That was when I saw her: thin little arms holding onto the big bald man; auburn hair flying back as Jesse stood with her in his arms; a dirty, tear stained, baby doll face.

  The fans were going crazy, screaming for the guys to take the stage and finish the concert. Jesse didn’t respond to the group of guys standing close to him and cursing. Shane and Drake had reached Jesse now. They pushed two loud guys back when they tried to charge at Jesse.

  I tossed my microphone away, no longer caring about finishing the set. Screw the crowd. All I wanted was to hold Emmie and find out if she was okay. Jumping down from the stage I pushed my way through a group of girls who screamed and tried to get hold of my shirt as I passed. The material tore, leaving a hole at the hem. Hands touched my face, their nails leaving scratches.

  I snarled something unintelligible at the bitch who stood between me and the only girl that could ever touch my heart. The skank stepped back, as if I was about to hit her, and really I couldn’t be sure if I wouldn’t have.

  Jesse turned to face me, his eyes wild, and I knew that something wasn’t right. I took Emmie from him, knowing that I was risking life and limb by doing so but not giving a fuck for either. All I wanted was to hold Emmie!

  She stiffened in my arms. Big green eyes glared up at me, and I tried to tell her everything I couldn’t with my eyes as I tightened my hold on her. Our gazes locked for a moment in a battle of wills, one I prayed I would win.

  My heart melted when she threw her little arms around my neck and sobbed. “Nik!”

  I sighed, sure that I had been offered a pardon for all my crimes in her eyes, as I carried her away from the craziness of the crowd. Drake and Shane kept a path clear as Jesse brought up the rear, making sure that any disgruntled fans didn’t try to get to me and the precious bundle in my arms.

  Axton and Rich were waiting on us when we reached backstage. Rich was spiting he was in such a rage. Axton just looked concerned. “What the hell, man? Is she okay?”

  “Shut the fuck up!” Jesse told Rich when he demanded we go back out on stage. “Get out of the way or I will move you.”

  I combed my fingers through Emmie’s tangled hair, tried not to gag at the way the strands smelled of booze, smoke, and something else. “Just find me somewhere that we won’t be bothered.”

  “Is she your sister or something?” Axton asked as he led the way down a narrow hall, searching random rooms for a place we could take Emmie.

  “Or something,” Shane muttered.

  Finally we found a room with a couch. I pushed past Axton and sat with Emmie still clinging to my neck. Her sobs were shaking us both and it broke my heart. I grasped her shoulders and pulled her back enough so I could inspect her for any damage.

  Her face was unharmed, except for the tear stains down her cheeks, but there were bruises on her neck, as if someone had tried to choke her. She was holding her arm a little awkwardly and I grasped it. She whimpered in pain as my fingers skimmed over her swollen wrist.

  “I think it’s broken,” I said quietly, trying no
t to frighten her.

  Jesse muttered a curse. Shane left to find ice while I continued to examine Emmie, but other than the usual bruises, I couldn’t see that anything else was wrong. “What happened, Emmie? How did you even get here?” I asked quietly.

  “I heard on the radio that you were going to be in Cleveland. I wanted to come see you guys, but Momma was high when I asked her… She pushed me against the wall and started choking me. I tried to push her off and she grabbed my wrist.” Her chin trembled. “I hitchhiked …”

  “You did what?!” Jesse exploded, only to grimace when she flinched at his harsh tone. “Emmie, do you realize how dangerous that was?”

  Chin still trembling, she nodded her head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “Her mother did this?” Axton exclaimed, and I realized for the first time that he was still with us. Drake motioned him to the back of the room and started talking to him in hushed tones so Emmie couldn’t hear them.

  “Here we go, sweetheart.” Shane had a bag of ice and a bottle of Tylenol in his hands. “Let’s get you feeling better.”

  She gave him a watery smile as she swallowed the tablets and put on a brave face as he placed the ice on her injured wrist.

  “We have to go to the hospital, Emmie.” I combed my fingers through her tangled hair, trying to keep her calm even though I knew that even mentioning a visit to the hospital would do anything but.

  Big green eyes widened in horror. “No. No, please no.”

  “I’m sorry, baby doll. But if your wrist is broken it will have to be set.” I glanced at Jesse for help when she started sobbing again.

  He crouched down beside me, taking Emmie’s good hand into his. “You have to be brave now, Emmie. No tears. A broken wrist is serious.” Emmie sucked in a few breaths, trying to stop the broken sobs. “I’ll be right there holding your hand while the doctors fix you up. Okay?”

  “P-promise?”

  “Promise.” He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the door, leaving the rest of us to follow.

  It was nearly dawn before we got Emmie home. I didn’t want her to go, but we all knew that she had to. Jesse held the now sleeping Emmie in his arms, her left wrist in a cast now. I knocked on the door with my three friends standing at my back while we waited for the evil bitch to open the door.

  Two minutes passed before she opened the door, nearly stumbling out in her hungover state. Jesse growled something under his breath. I gave the woman a once-over, taking in her almost emaciated figure. Her face was so thin it looked like someone had pulled skin tight over a skeleton. I wasn’t sure how old she was, but she looked close to fifty. Her dyed red hair was dry and lifeless, her eyes empty just as her soul was.

  “Well look at you boys.” She leaned against the door frame, a cigarette hanging from her lips. “What brings the big shot rockers back to this hellhole?”

  “We need to talk,” I said, grinding my teeth.

  A dark brow lifted. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah.” I pushed past her into the disaster of a trailer that Emmie had to live in. There were beer bottles tossed here and there, overflowing ash trays with things much stronger than what she was currently smoking stinking up the air, and even a few needles abandoned on the coffee table in front of the old couch.

  Jesse, Drake, and Shane followed me inside. Jesse took Emmie down the hall to put Emmie into bed while we made a deal with the Devil.

  Chapter 3

  A Deep Sigh Of Relief

  I wouldn’t say that things got better after our stop in Ohio, but they didn’t get any worse.

  After setting things up so that Emmie’s mother would have plenty of money to keep her drugged out of her mind for the most part—and keep Emmie off her mind—Emmie’s homelife became a little safer. We all called her several times a day, and I was doing better emotionally since we were now talking like we used to.

  Even with the medication, my mom wasn’t doing any better. More often than not she didn’t know who I was when I went to visit her. But other than the dementia, she didn’t look unhealthy. The nurses were taking exceptional care of her and that made me sleep a little easier at night, especially when I was off touring with the guys.

  Our name was getting out there. Our second album in three years had gone triple platinum. We were winning music awards and having our songs added to movies and television shows. I was starting to write more and fans were going crazy for my songs. I didn’t know I had such a passion for songwriting, but I was pretty talented.

  Three years had flown by so quickly. There hadn’t been any downtime since our rocker life had started, and we were all feeling the need for a vacation. At the moment we were halfway through a tour with OtherWorld. Of all the bands we had toured with over the last few years OtherWorld was the most interesting.

  We had all become friends, but we kind of adopted Axton into our brotherhood. If we were touring with him, he was on our bus more often than his own. OtherWorld wasn’t nearly as close as we were. With Demon’s Wings, we weren’t just bandmates, we were brothers. We had grown up together, seen each other at our lowest, and stuck together through the harshest of times. Jesse, Drake, Shane, and Emmie were my family—all I had in the world now that my mom was checking out in the mind department.

  There were three hours to go before Demon’s Wings were scheduled to take the stage. I was sitting on the long couch backstage drinking a beer and tossing my phone up and catching it. I was bored out of my fucking mind. Shane was off getting cozy with two girls that had snuck backstage, while his brother was getting cozy with another bottle of Jack Daniels. Who knew where Jesse was, because really it could have been anyone’s guess. He could have been getting lost between some girl’s legs or off causing trouble with Liam and Zander.

  When my phone rang I knew who it was. Knew that she was calling to tell me how her day was. Emmie and high school were not mixing well. For one, she didn’t do the whole friend thing with girls. Most of the girls that she went to school with knew that Emmie was under our protection, so they only ever approached her in hopes of getting to approach us. And… well… Emmie was strong willed with a temper to match her hair, and a mind that saw everything from every angle.

  I was smiling as I hit connect on my cellphone and lifted it to my ears. “Hey, baby doll. How’s my favorite girl?”

  Instead of jumping into bitching about her day she was quiet. I could feel her tension even over the phone. My stomach bottomed out as I tried to keep all the possibilities out of mind—Emmie hurt, broken, bleeding. If her mother had dared to hurt Emmie again I would tear her apart this time.

  “Em?” I croaked out.

  “Momma’s dead. She overdosed.” Her voice was devoid of all emotions. It was like I was talking to a robotic Emmie. “I called the cops, but they said it could take them a while to get the paramedics out here to get the body…”

  I was already on my feet, already mentally making a list of what had to be done. “Are you okay? Where are you now?”

  “At the trailer… but the cops said social services will be coming to get me soon…”

  I started jogging, the urgency to get back to Ohio hitting the red zone now. I couldn’t let social services take Emmie. I would never see her again. She would get lost in the system. And only god knew what would happen to her in a foster home. “I’m coming. We will be there by tonight.” Even if I had to hire a private jet to get me there I was going to be there that night. “Hide. Do you hear me, Em? Hide. Don’t let them take you.”

  “Okay.” She sounded so calm and I figured she was in shock.

  I didn’t want to but I hung up. I found Jesse and Drake down the corridor hanging with Axton, Liam, and Zander. They were passing a bottle of Jack between them and laughing about something. Zander I liked, while Liam was a hit or miss for me most days. He had a borderline drug problem that I couldn’t wrap my head around. Drugs were something I hadn’t ever touched and didn’t ever plan to. Emmie’s mother’s drug use had made her
life hell and I wasn’t ever going to do that to her.

  When Jesse saw me he frowned. “What’s with you?”

  “Emmie.” That was all I had to say and he and Drake were on red alert. “We have to go. Now.” I would explain to them on the plane. Right then I had other things to deal with. I looked at Axton. “We’re out. Don’t know when we can make it back.”

  “Yeah, sure, man. Go deal with your family. I’ll take care of fuck-face Branson.”

  Finding Shane was easy enough. First bathroom we came to and I could hear the girls moaning. I didn’t waste time. Just walked on in. With one on her knees and the other sitting on the edge of the sink with Shane’s hands between her legs they were obviously having a good time. “Emmie needs us. Let’s go.”

  Shane pushed the girl on her knees away and stuffed himself back into his jeans. “I’m coming.”

  “No you aren’t,” the blonde still on her knees giggled.

  “Shut up, bitch,” the brunette on the sink told her friend.

  It took us four hours to get to Ohio once we got the plane sorted. It was nearly nine-thirty by the time we pulled up in front of the old trailer that belonged to Emmie. There was a cop car sitting in the gravel driveway close to the front door. The trailer was dark but the cop was sitting on the front steps with a woman that had a clipboard in her hands.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. They hadn’t found Emmie yet.

  Jesse started to get out of the backseat of the Cadillac SUV that we had rented at the airport, but I grabbed his arm before he or the others could get out. “Keep a level head. We have to play this right so we can take Emmie with us.”

  My band brothers nodded, their jaws clenched hard as we all finally got out of the SUV and headed for the social worker and the cop. I was beyond happy that the social worker was a female and young. She wasn’t bad to look at, but she wasn’t anywhere near beautiful. Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun that made her face look too harsh to be pretty. Her body, while slender, was hidden under unflattering clothes that hung off her body in an unappealing way.