The Aphrodisiac Encyclopaedia
Page 16
Although cheap, oats can be unexpectedly delicious. For gastronomic inspiration, look to the lochs and glens of bonny Scotland. Oats are as much part of Scotland’s culinary heritage as whisky and haggis. I have happy memories of triumphantly landed trout tossed in oatmeal and fried in butter on a Hebridean Aga. Similarly, oatcakes are the perfect austere foil for a luxurious slice of smoked salmon. At breakfast, oats should be your cereal of choice. They are hot stuff in a bowl of steaming porridge with bananas, brown sugar and single cream. In summer, switch to the toasted oat super-muesli of granola. Mix with a wee dram, a drizzle of heather honey, some raspberries and a dollop of cream to create cranachan (often incorrectly called athol brose) – the bon viveur’s luxurious oaty answer to the dourness of watery porridge.
Oat and Goji Granola
Heather honey : 2 tbsp
Maple syrup : 50 ml
Sunflower oil : 1 tbsp
Rolled oats : 200 g
Salt : a good pinch :
Pumpkin seeds : 25 g
Pine nuts (preferably not Chinese) : 25 g
Sesame seeds : 2 tbsp
Flaked almonds : 50 g
Hazelnut pieces : 25 g
Dried goji berries : 50 g
Preheat the oven to 150°C. Mix the honey, maple syrup and oil in a large bowl. Separately mix the oats and salt together, then pour into the honey and maple mix. Mix together thoroughly so the oats are completely coated.
Spread the granola evenly on to a baking tray and bake for 15 minutes.
Remove the granola from the oven. Flip it with a metal spatula and stir in all the remaining ingredients except the berries. Return to the oven and bake for another 15 minutes.
Remove from the oven and scrape on to a tray to cool, at which point add the goji berries. Serve the granola with yoghurt or milk. Stored in an airtight container it will keep for up to a month.
Hazelnut Cranachan
Oatmeal : 50 g
Demerara sugar : 15 g
Heather honey : 4 tbsp
Hazelnut pieces : 2 tbsp
Highland malt whisky : 40 ml
Double cream : 225 ml
Hazelnut oil : 2 tbsp
Raspberries : 125 g
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Mix the oatmeal with the brown demerara sugar, a tablespoon of honey and the hazelnut pieces. Bake for 8 minutes, stirring to ensure that the oats toast evenly. Turn the oats out to cool.
Warm the Highland malt whisky with the remaining honey, stirring until the honey dissolves.
Whip the double cream until stiff and stir in the hazelnut oil and honey whisky.
Roughly mash half the raspberries and pass through a sieve to remove the pips.
Fold the raspberry sauce, whole raspberries and toasted oats into the cream. Serve in a champagne coupe with a sprinkling of reserved toasted oats.
PINE NUTS
Pine nuts are the edible seeds hidden in pine cones. An ancient food source, pine nuts have been gathered since prehistoric times and are a cracking aphrodisiac. There are separate, distinct and enthusiastic traditions of pine nuttery in European, Asian and Native American culture.
Harvesting pine nuts is a bit of a bore. The pine cones are gathered in the autumn, left to dry, then whacked until they surrender their seeds. The seeds have a hard outer shell. This is removed by hand to reveal the pine nut we all know and love. European pine nuts come from the stone pine. They are thinner, longer and stronger flavoured than the plump Chinese pine nut, which comes from the Korean pine. In America, the domestic piñon is very much larger and typically sold in its shell as a snack food.
The history of the use of pine nuts as an aphrodisiac is extensive. The effects were well known to both the Greeks and Romans. In the highly informative Loving Arts, Pliny includes them in his list of titillating titbits. The second-century medical pioneer Galen recommends an aphrodisiac tonic of honey mixed with twenty almonds and a hundred pine nuts. Three consecutive nights of treatment and all sexual woes could be forgotten. The obvious success of this prescription led to its re-recommendation in The Perfumed Garden in the fifteenth century. In the same period a very similar recipe was making merry in Old England. Pokerounce was an aphrodisiac Christmas treat of toasted white bread spread with spiced honey and sprinkled with pine nuts. The British Museum’s Harleian Manuscripts contain the following olde English recipe:
Take Hony, and caste it in a potte tyl it wexe chargeaunt y-now; take & skeme it clene. Take Gyngere, Canel, & Galyngale, & caste þer-to; take whyte Brede, & kytte to trenchours, & toste ham; take þin paste whyle it is hot, & sprede it vppe-on þin trenchourys with a spone, & plante it with Pynes, & serue forth.
In the Himalayan uplands of northern India, the chilgoza pine nut is gathered for ‘medicinal’ purposes. It is used across the subcontinent to stiffen wilting libidos and increase male potency. Not great ones for written history, Native Americans have kept their traditions more mysterious. The basin tribes of Utah and Nevada gathered pine nuts from sacred groves of trees. The harvest fed winter love, warming up wigwams on long chilly nights.
Pine nuts are nutritionally rich. They are a good dietary source of niacin, zinc and arginine, all of which are required for an active and satisfactory sex life. These properties are all very well but not particularly remarkable. The pine nut’s stand-out nutritional feature is its rare ability to suppress the appetite. In Siberia, when food is scarce over winter, hunger is appeased with a handful of pine nuts or a spoonful of pine nut oil. Modern research has identified pinolenic acid as the active ingredient. Pinolenic acid triggers the release of two appetite suppressants. The signals are beamed to the brain by the mysterious vagus nerve. Separate from the spinal column, the vagus nerve is a sensory superhighway running from the genitals to the brain via the stomach, nipples, throat and chest. Pinolenic acid trips the vagus nerve’s gut switch. A message is sent to the brain to release oxytocin, dopamine and opioids, the chemical cocktail of the fat and happy.
Oxytocin contracts the stomach walls to create that full-belly feeling. It is also closely linked to sexual arousal and orgasm. Often called the ‘love hormone’, oxytocin not only produces the loss of appetite of intense attraction but also post-coital fluffy feelings, thoughts of marriage and happily-ever-after. Oxytocin is released in greatest volume at orgasm. After an hour or so levels drop, the stomach walls relax, and you are soon being mauled by the post-sex munchies. Dopamine and natural opioids are equally involved in the neurochemistry of love. Dopamine creates feelings of desire whilst opioids wash the brain with pleasure. All in all it is a powerful combination at the pine nut’s command.
Whilst the vagus nerve is not fully understood by modern science, it is clearly used to transfer sexual responses. A study at Rutgers University demonstrated that women with spinal cord injuries and no feeling from the waist down were still responsive to genital stimulation and able to have orgasms. Physical stimulation was being signalled to the brain by the vagus nerve. The funny feeling in your stomach, erect nipples and lightheaded rush of sudden sexual attraction are all the handiwork of the vagus nerve. When the nerve fires, all points along it are stimulated. Strangulation and orgasm cause the most intense response. The two can blur together with grisly results. In hanging, the over-stimulation of the vagus nerve is responsible for the jutting gibbet girder of angel lust. Similarly, sexual self-strangulation is simply the sybarite’s quest for the ultimate vagus-enhanced orgasm.
On a first date a nice pesto is rather more acceptable than an S and M collar. Pine nuts are the kingpin of what must be the world’s most aphrodisiac sauce. Garlic, Parmesan, pepper, basil and pine nuts are all aphrodisiac stars in their own right. This versatile Italian paste is equally at home in a sandwich, on simple pasta dishes, or mixed with breadcrumbs as a crust for lamb chops. If you are out to impress, serve up a savoury basil and pine nut cheesecake: essentially deconstructed pesto. The creamy filling is infused with fresh basil and crowned with toasted pine nuts, the base crushed oatcakes and Parme
san. Serve suavely with a fresh tomato salad and suppress the smug grin of the satisfied chef.
Pesto Genovese
Butter : 10g
Toasted pine nuts : 25g
Sweet basil : 25g (weighed with stems)
Grated Parmesan : 25g
Pine nut oil (or light tasting olive oil) : 75ml
Garlic : one small clove, crushed
Salt : a large pinch
Chilli flakes : a pinch (optional)
Pepper : to taste
Lemon juice : a squeeze (optional)
The choice of sweet basil is moot; if you have a magnificent bush of purple basil go ahead and give it a trim. Having said that, sweet basil has the highest levels of basil oil and so makes a particularly aromatic pesto. Similarly, pine nut oil will add to your pesto’s aphrodisiac effect but can be easily substituted by a mild olive oil or almond oil. Garlic, chilli, lemon and pepper are all a matter of personal preference and taste – they should be added as you like.
Melt the knob of butter in a frying pan and over a low heat toast the pine nuts. Stir and shake the pine nuts frequently so they brown evenly. Once they are golden brown remove from the heat – this process should take about 5 minutes.
In a pestle and mortar or food processor crush the toasted pine nuts. Once mashed into an oily pulp add the basil leaves and grind into the nut purée.
When the basil has submitted, add the Parmesan and pine nut (or olive oil) and mash/blend into the pine nut basil paste.
Add the crushed garlic, salt, chilli flakes and pepper to taste.
If you are preparing your pesto for the fridge, squeeze in some lemon juice to help preserve the vibrant flavours and colours.
Pine Nut and Basil Cheesecake
Oatcakes : 75 g
Parmesan : 40 g
Black pepper : a good grinding
Butter : 30 g
Garlic : 1 fat clove, crushed
Ricotta cheese : 200 g
Mascarpone : 200 g
Eggs : 2
Sweet basil : a packed-down mug full of leaves
Olive oil : 1 tbsp
Pine nuts : 100 g
Preheat the oven to 170° C.
Crumble the oatcakes and grate the Parmesan, then mix together and season with lots of freshly milled pepper.
Heat the butter in a saucepan. Add the crushed garlic to the melted butter and sauté for a minute. Stir the garlic butter into the oatcake and Parmesan mix.
Press the oatcake mix into the bases of two wide biscuit rings (7 cm) or one small cake tin. The base should ideally be about ½ cm thick.
Beat together the ricotta and mascarpone cheese. Add the eggs one at a time and beat together vigorously.
In a pestle and mortar (or food processor) pound the basil leaves with a mild olive oil to make a thick smooth basil paste. Add 3 tablespoons of paste to the cheese mix. Stir together and season with salt and pepper as required.
Pour the filling on to the oatcake bases and place in a preheated oven to bake for 40 minutes.
Meanwhile toast the pine nuts as described in the previous recipe.
When the cheesecakes are cooked remove them from the oven. Whilst still hot pour the pine nuts over the top, lightly pressing them into the top of the cheesecakes.
Allow the cheesecakes to cool completely and serve as a starter or summer lunch.
Anaphrodisiacs
THE AMOUR-INTENT BON VIVEUR should be aware that some ingredients could be their undoing. Anaphrodisiacs are foods that stop lust in its libidinous tracks. These dietary cold showers helped celibate monks resist the devil’s relieving hand and the weakness of the flesh. Worried that soldiers might make love rather than war, the powers that be, it is rumoured, spiked First World War army rations with anaphrodisiacs. Trench war and holy abstinence are not the natural millieux of the bon viveur, and anaphrodisiacs are to be avoided like the plague that they are.
CHASTEBERRY
It is fortunate but not surprising that the chasteberry, Vitex agnus-castus, is not a popular spice. Well named, this plant’s pant-calming effects have been known for an eternity. The Roman philosopher Pliny writes in his Historia Naturalis of Vitex’s ability ‘to cool the heat of lust’. Athenian women during the chaste festival of Thesmophoria left their husbands’ beds. They resisted the lustful urges to return by sleeping on beds stuffed with Vitex leaves and twigs. Monks ground the berries on their food to ward off temptation, giving rise to its alternative name, monk’s pepper.
HOPS
Our next party pooper is of much more concern, being a key ingredient in what is, after water and tea, the world’s most popular drink. Hops are an integral flavouring in almost all beer. The marketing men of big brewing have quietly covered up the fact that hops can torpedo your libido. The infamous brewer’s droop is caused not by beer’s modest alcohol content but by the unmanning properties of hops. They play havoc with your hormones, containing the most potent of phytoestrogens. I have often noticed that the inveterate ale guzzler sports not just the proverbial beer belly, but a handsome pair of teats too. The female hormones in hops may just be responsible. They are certainly strong enough to mess severely with a woman’s reproductive system. After a few weeks in the fields, female hop-pickers experience acute menstrual problems and missed periods. As if all this wasn’t bad enough, hops also send you to sleep. Following the sleepy work habits of hop cultivators, the folk remedy for insomnia is sleeping on a hop-filled pillow. No wonder women dislike pubs so much: who needs a big-breasted beer lump snoring away Saturday sex night? If you want post-pub passion make sure you inebriate yourself with wine or spirits – anything other than ale.
SOY
Soy is another anaphrodisiac no-no, confirming my meat-eater’s antipathy to tofu and closet suspicions about limp vegan libidos. Soy is decidedly dampening to love’s furnace and again the effects are mainly directed towards men. As with hops, powerful phytoestrogens are responsible, strangling a man’s snake with the squeeze of an anaconda. In soy the phytoestrogens are isoflavones and men should give them a wide berth if they value their testosterone. Contrary to popular opinion soy is not that widely eaten in the Orient. The group who eat the most soy are Japanese monks and they do so specifically to tame the distraction of sexual desire. Tofu, soya milk and edamame are all off-limits for lovers. The soya protein in limp lifeless vegan sausages is the white flag of sexual surrender. If you need to replace meat and milk, stick to pulses and oat milk. I am pleased to say that soy sauce escapes the embargo; the fermentation process knocks out the guilty isoflavones.
LETTUCE
Lettuce is an anaphrodisiac that acts on both women and men equally. It is a sedative, sending you off to the land of nod in next to no time – perfect for an after-lunch snooze on a hot summer’s day, not so good for a postprandial poking. In Beatrix Potter’s Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies, the little rabbits almost become Mrs McGregor’s rabbit pie having fallen asleep following a slap-up lettuce lunch. Miss Potter’s tales are not known for their scientific acumen but in this instance she is bang on the money. The milky sap released from the stalk of cut lettuce contains lactucarium, a sedative and analgesic similar to opium.
In ancient Greece, at the end of a splendid meal guests were often served lettuce soup. The idea was to send them blissfully off to the land of nod. The Roman emperor Domitian displayed his dark side by breaking with tradition and serving lettuce at the start of lengthy state banquets. It was forbidden to fall asleep in the emperor’s presence, a crime that was punishable by death. Domitian was amused to see his drowsy guests struggle their way through dinner, knowing that nodding off would be fatal. To avoid a salad daze, stick to peppery leaves like rocket, mizuna and watercress, or bitter leaves like chicory and radicchio. Sprinkle with toasted pine nuts, dress with a garlic, honey and mustard vinaigrette and the great salad escape is complete.
CHERRY
Cherries are a surprising anaphrodisiac. I have always thought they look rather sexy and the pout as you eject
each cherry stone is undeniably suggestive. Also the phrase ‘pop her cherry’ has more than a hint of promise about it. For women, however, the smell of cherries is something of a turn-off. The studies by Alan Hirsch at the Chicago Institute of Smell and Taste recently revealed that the aroma of cherries decreased blood flow to the vagina by 18 per cent, the highest of all smells they tested. It does at least explain why Cherry Cola failed to catch on.
Acknowledgements
The Aphrodisiac Encyclopaedia would simply not have been possible without the hard work and help of many people. They are too many to mention but particular thanks go to Jenny McVeigh who got the ball rolling, Tim Glister at Janklow and my wonderful editor at Square Peg, Rosemary Davidson. The support, advice and patience of friends and family has also been invaluable. Lots of love to Fred and Jessica, Claire, Jane and Julian and, above all, Atalanta.
Index
The page references in this index correspond to the printed edition from which this ebook was created. To find a specific word or phrase from the index, please use the search feature of your ebook reader.
adrenal glands 98
adrenaline 69, 139, 163, 182, 196
Agave Steak Tartare served ‘Black and Blue’ 73–4
Akbar, Emperor 27
alcohol 2–13
Alexander the Great 51, 149
all things animal 45–78