SodaPDF-compressed-Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO

by dlavieri

◆

  Don’t gossip with coworkers about coworkers.

  ◆

  Don’t bad-mouth your boss, your team, or your

  organization.

  ◆

  Share credit, paying special attention to junior team mem-

  bers whose work might otherwise go unnoticed.

  6) Debate with civility. Disagreement is part of the creative pro-

  cess and responsible professionals aren’t afraid to speak up, but

  that’s no excuse for being mean:

  ◆

  Express criticism in terms of the work or the concept, and

  avoid making it about the person.

  ◆

  When possible, frame your comments in a positive way.

  ◆

  Avoid sarcasm because it’s seldom amusing and can lead to

  misunderstandings.

  ◆

  Let the other side speak, genuinely listen to their views, and

  imagine what it’s like from their perspective.

  7) Dine with style. Table manners are about assuring that every-

  one has a good time and nobody’s enjoyment is ruined by some-

  one else’s gross behavior. Don’t get hung up on questions about

  which fork to use. The point of standardized silverware rules is

  to make guests comfortable as they select the implement for each

  course. And nobody will care if you pick up the “wrong” fork.

  On the other hand, avoid disrupting the table by knowing which

  wine glass and bread plate belong to you. The standard is that

  114

  Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO

  all glasses are placed on the right side of the main dinner plate

  (“dr i nk to the r i ght”), and other dishes are on the left (“e at to the l e ft”). Beyond that, in U.S. business circles, these rules are widely accepted:

  ◆

  Don’t object when your host indicates where you should sit.

  ◆

  Always chew with your mouth closed.

  ◆

  Don’t speak when you have food in your mouth.

  ◆

  Eat quietly, taking small manageable bites.

  ◆

  Don’t slurp or blow on your food to cool it—just wait until

  it’s not so hot.

  ◆

  Never blow your nose on your napkin.

  ◆

  Never pick your teeth at the table.

  The main point is that people with the Jimmy Fallon touch project the

  message that everyone matters. They’re considerate. And they help build cul-

  tures where everyone can collaborate, perform well, and enjoy the work. It’s

  no wonder that other people like being around them.

  25

  do’s and don’ts of

  saying “sorry”

  As we discussed in Chapter 19, people often judge you by the way you

  speak. If you develop annoying speech mannerisms, distracted listeners

  may not value your comments or perceive the full scope of your expertise. On

  the other hand, your personal brand is enhanced when you’re seen as someone

  who always seems to say the right thing.

  Do you aspire to be one of those tactful, well-spoken people who are wel-

  comed into most conversations? One way to begin to speak more gracefully is

  to listen carefully, so you can pick up cues from the crowd and adopt the best tone. Listening to the way other people interact enhances your sense of balance; it helps you to avoid the extremes of expressing too much or too little, or coming off as too warm or too cold.

  Tact also requires an awareness of the tremendous power of certain words.

  Some words have more consequences than others and should be used with

  care. One of those big impact words is “sorry.” It’s typically defined to include emotions like regret, sadness, and penitence. But in practice it can have

  many shades of meaning. And when we say the phrase “I’m sorry” in a work

  115

  116

  Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO

  environment, we might be expressing anything from remorse to subservience,

  uncertainty, or defiance.

  The nuances of the word do vary with organizational cultures. But here’s

  my take on how, when, and whether to say, “Sorry”:

  → Do say you’re sorry when you’ve done something wrong.

  When you screw up on the job, the best plan is to confess

  immediately, apologize sincerely, and turn quickly to rectifying

  the situation or making sure it won’t happen again. For the vic-

  tim, when you say “mea culpa” you make a bit of moral restitu-

  tion. Your discomfort gives him some power over you, and he

  is able to decide whether to accept your apology or to withhold

  forgiveness. But apologizing can benefit you, as well. When you

  ‘fess up, it’s like a reset button, giving you a chance to move on

  and restore the normal order.

  → Be sincere. Not all apologies improve matters. Your “sorry”

  is more likely to be favorably received when you mean it. You

  can transmit the intensity of your regret by describing how you

  actually feel (“I was so upset that I couldn’t sleep last night”)

  and proposing a way to make up for your wrongdoing.

  → Do say “sorry” even if you weren’t to blame. Sometimes we

  say “I’m sorry” not to express remorse, but to show our com-

  passion. This might happen when things go wrong in some

  way far beyond your control, such as when horrible weather

  inconveniences your guests. Or you might say “I’m so sorry”

  to acknowledge a personal loss, such as a death in the family.

  Some psychological research suggests that this kind of “super-

  fluous” apology can promote a sense of trust and connection

  between you and the listener, and make everybody feel better.

  → Don’t say it when you don’t mean it. Saying “I’m sorry” when

  you actually feel the opposite can come across to the recipient

  like an insult. “Sorry” is a complex word and it can be inflam-

  matory when your nonverbal message is the opposite of regret.

  Don’t make the situation worse by accompanying the phrase

  “I’m sorry” with a grimace or an eye roll. And avoid beginning

  your sentence with “I’m sorry, but . . .” When you don’t feel at

  fault, avoid making a fake apology. Instead, focus on improving

  do’s and don’ts of saying “sorry”

  117

  the situation and say something positive such as, “Let’s see what

  we can do to fix this.”

  → Don’t say “sorry” to soften an insult. If you say, “Sorry, but

  this draft is no good,” don’t think your wording will make the

  message any easier to accept. If your remorse is genuine, make

  clear what it is you regret and then be direct in the way you

  deliver the rest of the message. You might say, “I’m truly sorry

  if this will ruin your weekend, but the client needs a number of

  changes in your draft.”

  → Don’t say “sorry” when there’s nothing to apologize for.

  Some people repeatedly say “sorry” as a conscious way to

  express deference or humility. For others, the pattern may be

  an unconscious expression of uncertainty. Either way, con-

  stant apologies can make you look frightened or powerless. My

  competent and generally confident client Tina* developed the

  v
erbal tic of saying “I’m sorry” every time she was about to ask

  a question or make a suggestion. Her use of the phrase became

  so engrained she didn’t know she was saying it. As soon as this

  habit was brought to her attention, Tina realized it made her

  sound like she was experiencing a crisis of confidence. Her clos-

  est colleagues admitted they found it annoying and, with her

  permission, they helped Tina break the habit by reminding her

  when there was no need to apologize.

  Do you think that you say “I’m sorry” too often? Or perhaps you find it

  difficult to apologize and don’t do it often enough? Becoming more aware of

  your speech patterns can help you decide whether they need some tweaking.

  To capture a clear picture of this kind of speech habit, keep a log for a few weeks. Write down every instance in which you apologized, noting what you

  were regretting and any impact from your remark. Sometimes it’s hard to hear

  your own words, so this could be an occasion to call upon friends to gently

  point out your habit.

  26

  find the magic

  20 Percent

  my most vivid memories of business school include a few instances when

  professor Bill Day put aside the class syllabus and spoke vividly about

  phenomena that could make a difference in our lives.

  In one such discussion, the professor urged us to stay focused on the

  important things in life by relying on the 80/20 Rule. That rule of thumb tells us that most of the results in any situation are determined by a small number of the causes. Expressed another way, the Rule predicts that about 80 percent of your achievements will flow from about 20 percent of the things you do.

  The numbers of “80” and “20” aren’t absolute. The key point is that your bot-

  tom line isn’t impacted in the same amount by each unit of your work or of

  your time. So a small proportion of your activity may be responsible for most of what you get done.

  The Rule seems to have endless applications and has been given a vari-

  ety of names, like the “Law of the Vital Few.” Many accounts suggest that it

  was first applied as a business principle about a century ago as “Pareto’s Law.”

  Economist Vilfredo Pareto wrote that, in any situation, just a small portion

  118

  find the magic 20 Percent

  119

  of the resources will yield most of the outputs. For example, he said that if a government were to give a number of poor people money to invest in small

  businesses, the investors wouldn’t all be equally successful. A small group (the 20 percent) would make most of the money resulting from the investments

  (the 80 percent).

  What captured my imagination was when Professor Day told us that

  computer modeling can illustrate principles, like the 80/20 Rule, that demon-

  strate how the universe isn’t just hopeless disorder. It was comforting to hear his evidence that the world operates according to some kind of logic. And I

  welcomed his suggestion that we can spot familiar patterns and use them to

  make better choices in our careers and in life.

  It isn’t necessary to understand why it works. If you look around, you’ll

  see numerous applications of the 80/20 Rule:

  → In a big organization, a few of the managers may deliver the

  lion’s share of results.

  → Of your many clients, only a few may account for most of your

  income.

  → If you offer multiple products, it’s likely that several will deliver

  most of your profits.

  → If you have lots of customers, about 20 percent of them may

  voice about 80 percent of the complaints.

  And the Rule probably holds true in your personal life:

  → Of all the things you do, a few bring you most of the fun.

  → Of all your skills, a few deliver most of the rewards.

  → Of the many people you know, a few are responsible for much

  of the joy.

  With these strategies, the 80/20 Rule can help

  sharpen your career

  The Rule can remind you to stop obsessing about the lower priorities on your

  “to-do” list and shift your attention to your major objectives. It can help

  you find a place to get started when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It suggests

  that you consider which 20 percent of your workload may make the most

  difference, and stop worrying about all the rest that won’t count so much.

  120

  Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO

  When you’re in doubt about what to do next, turn to the 80/20 Rule for

  guidance like this:

  → Focus on the big goal. Don’t try to pursue every opportunity

  that comes along. When there’s too much to do, concentrate on

  activities most directly related to your key objectives. Shift more

  of your attention to the 20-or-so percent of tasks or events most

  likely to support your top priorities.

  → Don’t try to be great at everything. Find ways to spend more

  of your time on the activities that you do well and that yield

  results. Let’s say you’re a fundraiser who is great with people

  but not so proficient at generating those vital follow-up reports.

  Instead of spending long hours struggling over your desktop,

  find ways to free up your time for face-to-face contact. To meet

  your deadlines, get smart about delegating, outsourcing, using

  new technology, or renegotiating the deskwork that will never

  be your strong suit.

  → Choose your companions. Make choices about how much

  time to spend with the various people in your life. At work,

  don’t obsess about annoying or unproductive colleagues. As

  much as possible, disengage yourself from the time-wasters and

  naysayers. Instead, direct more of your attention to people who

  may become productive allies.

  → Look at the data. Sometimes it is worth examining the actual

  numbers to determine precisely how much of your time and

  resources result in most of your achievements. As we discussed

  in Chapter 21 on managing priorities, a good way to get a

  more realistic picture of your work patterns is to keep a log for

  a while. You may be surprised by how few of your activities

  deliver most of your success.

  → Simplify. Applying the Rule is sometimes simply a matter of

  getting rid of clutter and distractions. If everything seems too

  complicated, look for ways to get rid of some of the massive 80

  percent, so that the vital 20 percent will become more evident.

  This might require delegating tasks, declining invitations, get-

  ting rid of low-value products, simplifying your routines, and

  reducing the archive of documents and stacks of stuff that

  you’ve been saving, just in case.

  find the magic 20 Percent

  121

  → Pursue your passions. Identify which 20 percent of your life

  yields your greatest satisfaction, enjoyment, and sense of well-

  being, and reflect that knowledge in the way you schedule your

  time. If being in nature helps to keep you feeling balanced and

  there’s no time on your calendar for a walk in the park, it’s time

  to make a shift.

  27

  How to create

  mentoring that

  works Both ways

  Bac
k in the 1970s, feminists seized on mentoring as a way to help women

  ease their way through the men’s club atmosphere then dominating so

  many American offices. Through the years, the idea has become mainstream

  and now there’s a widespread understanding that having supportive mentors

  helps both women and men to advance professional y. But the definition of

  “mentor” varies widely, and not all career-focused mentoring programs succeed.

  What makes structured programs and individual efforts so difficult to get

  right is that mentoring involves building a relationship between two people.

  And strong human relationships require a delicate mix of hard work, honest

  communication, and good luck.

  As with any healthy relationship, a mentoring partnership prospers only

  when both parties receive value. Initially, the mentor may be motivated simply by a desire to give back and to be a good citizen. And early in a relationship the mentee usually does get the most benefit, including sympathetic advice and,

  122

  How to create mentoring that works Both ways

  123

  sometimes, an active champion at critical moments. But when the relationship

  really clicks, the mentor eventually receives at least as much as she gives.

  If you’re the mentor, one of the first rewards is the pleasure of having

  someone listen to you and the good feeling that flows from him or her fol-

  lowing your advice. Then, as a relationship grows, the mentee’s questions and feedback can give you a chance to pause and gain a new perspective. Through

  the long term, your conversations tend to become truly two-way, with both of

  you seeking advice, sharing insights, and exploring delicate career questions in an environment of trust.

  Several of my dearest friendships began decades ago when I agreed to

  serve as a mentor, motivated simply by a desire to support deserving young

  professionals. I can’t think about mentoring without feeling a wave of grati-

  tude for two particular mentees, Andrea Wilkinson and Sherry Little. When