by dlavieri
your comments to the work itself. And never get personal.
2) Confide in a trusted friend or colleague. Though you don’t
want to indulge in public rants, it can be helpful to describe the
situation to another person. If you’re feeling angry, hurt, or frus-
trated, it’s hard to objectively assess your options. Brainstorming
with someone may help you identify ways to address the problem
and move on.
3) Understand other personality types. Just as some are born
left-handed and others are right-handed, people tend to fall into
various broad personality categories. For example, some of us
are extroverts, and we like to brainstorm out loud, sharing our
thoughts long before we’ve reached our conclusions. This can be
annoying to introverts who may prefer a quieter environment
where people don’t start to talk until they know what they want
to say. As you learn more about basic personality types, it’s easier
to recognize when other people’s behavior is not about you—it
is just how they are made. Tools such as the readily available
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator can help you to understand what
makes you tick, and suggest strategies for communicating with
people whose approach to work is different than yours.
4) Listen to them in a new way. Once we start thinking of people
as “difficult,” we tend to stop hearing what they say. As they
speak, we feel defensive, and we start working on our rebuttals
instead of paying attention to their points. Most humans aren’t
skillful at hiding what we feel, so at some level they know we’re
ignoring them, causing their obnoxious behavior to intensify.
You can often defuse a tense situation by putting aside your dis-
trustful response and concentrating on what is being said. By
listening closely, you may forge a connection and launch a new
era of healthy communications.
5) Manage your attitude. Although you can’t control other peo-
ple, you can shift the dynamic by changing how you respond to
them. Because you can’t really hide your feelings, if you approach
someone in a mood of anger, annoyance, or contempt, he’ll have
some sense of it. And his answer to your negative attitude might
134
Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO
be an even stronger display of fury or rudeness. You can break
the negative cycle by adjusting your own emotional state. If you
learn to shift the way you feel, you can dramatically change rela-
tionships that traditionally have been rocky. Try this approach
to adjusting your reaction to a colleague:
◆
Start by quietly recalling the emotions you experienced the
last time you clashed with your difficult colleague. Did you
feel hurt, tense, or frustrated? Where in your body did you
experience the feelings and tension? Was it in your shoul-
ders or your stomach?
◆
Now take a few deep breaths. As you breathe, relax your
shoulders, clenched fists, or other body parts that feel tight.
Visualize each breath as a flow of calm energy, helping to
release that tension.
◆
Now that you’re more relaxed, try to imagine an alternative
emotional state that might feel better and make it easier for
you to deal with the colleague. For example, might it help if
you could look at that guy with some sense of compassion?
◆
Come up with a simple phrase to describe that alternative
emotional state such as, “I am calm and have compassion
in my heart.” Through the next few days, practice repeating
the phrase. As you do so, experiment with using it to help
yourself feel more relaxed and upbeat.
◆
Once you’ve practiced in safe places to summon up your
more positive emotional state, try out the technique in
more challenging situations. You might use the technique
when you’re annoyed with a waiter, or placed on hold by a
call center. When you feel like you have the knack, call up
your positive attitude when you’re actually with your dif-
ficult colleague. Now that you’re able to put aside your bad
feelings, they won’t have so much power over you. And you
might find that their attitude changes, as well.
As we discussed in the last chapter, you won’t be able to change many of
the frustrating situations in your career. But it’s easier to move forward once you’ve learned how to put your frustration aside.
30
find or Build
communities
when pundits describe the characteristics of successful entrepreneurs,
they may emphasize independent thinking, a tolerance for risk, or
the willingness to break rules. But when I try to predict the success of either business owners creating their own thing, or intrapreneurs making their way
within large organizations, I tend to look at something else. I find that, though their personalities vary widely, most effective entrepreneurial thinkers seem to share one trait: They understand the power of their networks.
In Chapter 10 we talked about how you might visualize your network as a
series of four concentric circles, starting with your core group in Circle #1 and moving out to your far-flung communities in Circle #4. Not everyone actively
manages that fourth Circle, but in building your career like an entrepreneur, it’s smart to explore the power of your communities.
A “community” is a group that has members, rather than a collection of
unconnected people. Membership may be informal or unacknowledged, but
the community members are linked by common values or interests. And often
they have some feeling of belonging, as well as a sense of mattering—of being able to make a difference to the group.
135
136
Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO
Among your communities are your neighbors, people with a history or
interest similar to yours, professionals who share your training and challenges, and members of the clubs and associations you have formally joined.
Your communities are packed with people you may never have met. But
when you approach someone as a member of your group, it’s unlikely he’ll
treat you like a stranger. Your communities are a source of business intelli-
gence, customers, mentors, referrals, and friends.
There’s a growing body of research that links good health with one’s
degree of social connection. That reflects not just relationships within your inner circle, but also your interaction with broader communities. Reasons
for the health impact might be that supportive communities can help you to
manage stress, gain perspective, and maintain healthy habits.
Beyond that, your emotions and behaviors can be influenced by the emo-
tions and behaviors of those in your extended communities. Research on
human networks suggests that your attitude and habits may be shaped or
reinforced not only by your close contacts, but also by your contacts’ contacts, and their contacts as well. If the people in your communities are energetic,
helpful, and creative, their positive vibes can be contagious, helping you to stay positive as you push your boundaries.
No matter how busy they migh
t otherwise be, successful entrepreneurs
are often highly attuned to their business, customer, and social communities, looking to them for inspiration, technical knowledge, clients, and empathy.
Molly Peterson, the photographer who shot the photo on the back of this
book, is a fine example of a modern entrepreneur who is investing in her com-
munities as she continues to invent her multifaceted career.
Molly’s documentary-style photos are beautiful and authentic and have
been widely published. She is known particularly for her food and farm shots, and she took the pictures for Growing Tomorrow, a 2015 book with portraits of 18 sustainable farmers. Photography is only one of Molly’s professions. She and her husband run Heritage Hollow Farms, where they raise grass-fed livestock and also operate a farm store in Sperryville, Virginia.
Although it seems that two active careers would take up all Molly’s time,
she’s one of those natural givers and connectors, active in both community and online groups. I bump into her at meetings of a nonprofit board and also via
social media, where she has built a broad following. It was through customer
and online communities that Molly came up with one of the farms’ distribu-
tion channels. She noticed that many Washington, D.C., residents care about
the benefits of sustainable meat but can’t always make the two-hour drive to
find or Build communities
137
Sperryville or be available for a scheduled delivery. So she arranged for meat orders to be delivered to freezers installed in Washington area Crossfit Gyms.
When I asked Molly why she’s so active in the community, despite her
heavy schedule, she said, “I was taught from a young age by both of my par-
ents to be curious, connected, and ‘well rounded.’ They were both entrepre-
neurs, as were many of my extended family members. I’ve always been curious
and interested in a world outside of my own: Why do people do what they do,
is there a deeper reason for it, what makes them ‘tick’? I also feel it never hurts to ask; nothing frustrates me more than when I’m told that something can’t
be done simply because that isn’t the way it’s usually done.”
Molly also said, “Outside of my careers I have a genuine care and concern
for my community and the Earth and how to make it better, more joy-filled,
healthier—whether that’s through my photography as art, through the way
we raise our livestock that ultimately feeds families, or through my time. It’s a fine balancing act to strive to keep all the pieces in line, but my brain rarely slows down. I carry a notebook with me everywhere to make sure I keep on
track with all of the daily tasks and requests.”
Become active in your existing communities,
or discover new ones
Staying in touch with a range of supportive communities can be key to build-
ing your resilient career. These strategies can help you to develop deeper
community involvement:
→ Identify your communities. Start by listing groups of people
with whom you are already associated. This might include
groups related to places where you worked or went to school,
professional associations, neighborhood committees, and online
groups. Then think about topics or activities that interest you,
and search for additional organizations of like-minded people.
If you’re an Italian American who likes to raise herbs and cook,
look around for a garden club, gourmet group, or Italian-
American association.
→ Become active. Study the list of the organizations you belong
to now, as well as those you might like to join. Target a
few communities where you’d like to raise your profile and
build relationships. Then look for opportunities to make a
138
Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO
contribution. This might mean volunteering for a service proj-
ect, joining a committee, or simply attending functions.
→ Care about an issue. Many communities are built around
causes or local needs. If your family has been touched by can-
cer, you may want to join a committee that raises money for
research. If you’re concerned about children in your town who
live in poverty, join the local pantry organization or a big sisters
group. The best way to get to know people can be working with
them to address a problem you all care about.
→ Be a mentor. To connect with a younger crowd or make your
network more diverse, offer to serve as a mentor. Contact a pro-
fessional association, or get in touch directly with someone who
is starting something new, and volunteer to share your skill set
or be an advisor.
→ Give money. If you’re overwhelmingly busy right now, you can
quietly begin to build name recognition by making contribu-
tions to nonprofit groups. If your name shows up repeatedly on
donor lists, group leaders may eventually beg you to become
more actively involved.
→ Launch a new group. If you’re passionate about an activity or
cause, don’t be discouraged if you can’t find an organization
for people who feel the same way. It can be surprisingly easy to
start your own group. Use social media, community bulletin
boards, newspaper ads, or other mechanisms to publicize your
interest. Your first event might be anything from a Twitter chat
to a coffee date with one other person. Other people love com-
munities, and they might be willing to join yours, particularly
if you’re willing to do a lot of the work.
31
make Your meeting
time more Productive
How much time do you devote to meetings? You might want to say, “Too
much!” But seriously, do you have any idea what percentage of your work
life is spent meeting with people? Try calculating it. If meetings take just 20
percent of your time, and you work 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year, that’s a whopping 400 hours annually.
Just think about what you’d be able to accomplish if you could retrieve
only 10 percent of that meeting time. You would have a whole week to devote
to your top priorities.
In fact, if you start to rethink your approach to meetings, you can find
ways both to spend less time at conference tables, and also to get more value from the meetings that you do attend. Start by trying out these strategies to
reduce the hours you spend in meetings:
→ Cut them short. Explore with your colleagues whether some
regular meetings could be shortened. For example, if your team
always gathers on Monday mornings for 90 minutes, aim for a
new time limit of one hour. And if other meetings typically last
139
140
Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO
one or one-half hour, could you all agree to cut them down to
45 or 20 minutes? An extra bonus of shortened meetings will
be the gap between your standard ending and starting times.
Participants in your 10 o’clock will be late less often because
they’ll now have a chance to take a break or check their e-mail
after their nine o’clock ends at 9:45 a.m.
→ Stand up or walk around. Another way to encourage shorter
meetings is to occasionally schedule quick standing meetings,
where no
body takes the time to sit down. And an approach
that works well for some kinds of topics is the walking meet-
ing, where two or three of you will stroll for half an hour, as
you talk through your issues. This can happen inside, in large
or connected buildings, or outside, perhaps in nearby parks. I
know a leader who twice a week has a 30-minute walk-and-talk
time block on her calendar. Any staff member can sign up to
be her walking companion, and if the slot is left open, she may
invite a staffer she rarely has a chance to see.
→ Say no. You might also reduce your time in meetings by getting
better at declining invitations. Of course, many meetings are
useful or required. But sometimes your participation isn’t all
that important, and you can be excused simply by explaining
that you have another commitment (which might mean your
scheduled time at your desk).
→ Create a no-meeting day. Finally, consider working out an
agreement with your team members for a meeting-free time
zone. If you all decide to keep Wednesday free of meetings, you
can plan on one day a week for telecommuting or concentrating
on your top priority projects.
When you run the meetings, keep them
productive with these strategies
Some of your most valuable meetings are the ones where you’re in charge. And
if you’re the leader, you have an opportunity to make better use of your time and theirs by tweaking the routine. Here are nine basic rules for running
effective meetings:
make Your meeting time more Productive
141
1) Know the purpose. Before you send out invitations, be clear
about your goals in calling a meeting. When no business is press-
ing, or work can be accomplished more easily in another way, be
flexible about cancelling regular meetings. Leaders known for
holding pointless meetings may have a tough time attracting par-
ticipation when they really need it.
2) Have an effective invitation process. For successful meetings,
you might have to be assertive about sending invitations and
reminding participants of the details.