Too Hard to Resist (Wherever You Go)

by Bielman, Robin

  “Me, too.” He sits on the edge of his seat, his green eyes on me with friendliness and warmth. He likes what he sees. I have to admit, I like what I see, too. Poof! My bad mood is completely gone. “What can I get you to eat?” he asks.

  “A quinoa veggie burger with mozzarella and a hibiscus lemonade, please.”

  “Fries?”

  “Umm…”

  “We could share?”

  “That sounds great,” I say around a smile.

  He smiles in return. It’s the nice, approachable kind, like he’s the type of person you could tell a secret to and trust he’d keep it. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

  “I won’t.” The tiny flutter in the pit of my stomach makes sure of that.

  “Oh, wait,” I say as he walks away to place our order. He turns. “No grilled onions.” He nods with another amiable curve of his mouth before striding to the counter. I like onions, but they give me horrible breath for hours and well…right off the bat, I got a good vibe from Brooks and I don’t know, maybe he’ll want to kiss me good night later.

  My cheeks heat at the thought. I miss kissing. When Henry and I first started dating, we’d kiss for hours. Those memories with him are my favorite. They’re the ones I hold onto, not the others that cause me pain and grief. Despite what he did to me, the beginning of our relationship was magical.

  The sound of male voices in happy conversation interrupts my recollection. Normally, I wouldn’t turn around to check out whom they belong to, but I know these voices. One of them I’ve heard for as long as I can remember since our moms are best friends, and the other one I hear during work hours and at night when he whispers dirty things in my dreams.

  Glancing over my shoulder, my guess is confirmed. Mateo and Elliot are walking up to the counter to order food. Mateo knew I was going to be here, per my promise to share my first date whereabouts with him. After he pried the details out of me about my date with Jesse, he’d been upset and asked if he could show up tonight. I agreed because 1) this isn’t a “real” date in the sense that I’m here because of Brooks’s mom and 2) he’s a protector by nature and thinks of me like a sister. He knows I can take care of myself. I handled Jesse, and I’ll handle Brooks if need be, but backup never hurt anyone.

  I’m not sure why Elliot is with him.

  “Here you go,” Brooks says, placing my food and drink in front of me. He puts the fries in the middle of the table, his hamburger at his spot, and deposits the tray atop a nearby trash container before sitting down across from me.

  “Thank you. I missed lunch and this looks really good.” I bite into a french fry.

  Brooks grabs a couple for himself. “Long day at work?”

  “You could say that. What about you? Were you on duty today? I’m not sure how your shifts work.” Brooks is a paramedic. Which means if I choke on this burger, he can save me. There’s something very nice about that.

  “I finished a twenty-four-hour shift this morning and slept until about an hour ago when I had to get ready for a date with a beautiful girl.”

  I feel myself blush. It’s not just the compliment. It’s the way he says it. With genuine kindness that is refreshing after my last few dates. There are still nice guys out there. “Well, I have it on good authority that your date thinks the same about you. I mean, not that you’re beautiful, but that you’re handsome.” My face is on fire. “I’m going to stop talking now and eat my burger.”

  “Me, too,” he says, having the good grace to let my blabbering go.

  We eat in somewhat easy silence. It’s clear we want to know more about each other, but we’re giving it some thought first. In my limited dating experience, this is another considerate quality. So different from guys quick to judge me, or talk about me like I’m an object, not a person. I haven’t always been a good judge of character, but I’m getting better at it, and Brooks exudes good character, which makes sense given his occupation.

  In my periphery I see Elliot and Mateo sit down at a table. I’d forgotten about them for a minute, but now I feel them watching me and I wonder if I should give Mateo some kind of signal to let him know everything is good and he can eat and run. I turn my head to try and make eye contact with him. He’s engrossed in conversation with Elliot now and looks like he’s in no hurry.

  Damn it. I will him to look at me but he doesn’t. Maybe he’ll leave quickly if I make a public spectacle of myself by climbing over the table to make out with Brooks.

  Do I want to do that?

  Or is it the guy a few feet away wearing gray slacks and a dark-blue button-down with the sleeves rolled up to reveal strong, capable forearms that I want to do that with?

  I 100 percent lied about his haircut. It’s perfect. Shorter, but not too short, the jet-black strands are still long enough for a girl to comb her fingers through. The curl at the base of his neck is gone, but I bet within two weeks it will be back. Not that I’ve given much thought to his hair today or anything.

  “So, you mentioned you recently moved back here from up north,” I say, focusing back on my date.

  “That’s right. I was pre-med at San Francisco State, but changed my mind about med school. I liked it up there, though, so stayed to train as an EMT and first responder after graduation, finished both my basic and intermediate training, and got hired down here as a paramedic.”

  “How’s it going so far?”

  “Great.” He offers me the last french fry. I shake my head and he picks it up. “I’m the new guy, so there’s some jokes at my expense, but the team is dope. What about you? How do you like the finance world?”

  “I love it.” I wipe my napkin across my mouth. “Can I tell you a secret?” I ask quietly.

  “Absolutely. Secret keeping is part of my paramedic’s oath.”

  I smile, then clear my throat. “I have this recurring dream where my boss and I switch places and he’s my assistant and I’m sitting behind a massive desk and I look at him and I say, ‘You’re fired.’ Is that weird?”

  “Not at all. Sounds to me like you’ve got big aspirations. Nothing wrong with that.”

  Or I want to get naked with Elliot.

  “What was the last dream you had?”

  Brooks thinks about that, his eyes roaming around the restaurant before settling back on me. “I don’t know. I don’t often remember them.”

  “Really? I always remember mine and they’re super vivid.” Like the one of Elliot—

  “Hey, do you know that guy? He keeps looking over at you.” Brooks tips his head in the direction of Elliot and Mateo, and because I have to know which one of them has been staring at me, I turn my head.

  Elliot’s bright-blue eyes meet mine, wiping out everyone else in the room. For a split second it’s just him and me, and my breath catches. This isn’t the first time he’s stolen my surroundings, but each time grows more intense. I force myself to blink and turn back to Brooks.

  “Umm”—I shake my head to try and clear it—“yeah, actually, I do. He’s my boss.”

  “Seriously? That’s a weird coincidence.”

  If he only knew. “The guy he’s with is one of my good friends and his roommate. I’ve been here with him before and well, I mentioned to him I was going to be here tonight, so he probably thought it sounded good, too.”

  Brooks studies me. I have no idea what he’s thinking, and he doesn’t get the chance to tell me, because Elliot and Mateo arrive at our table. “Hey, Mad,” Mateo says.

  “Hi, Mateo.” I drop my chin and mouth sorry to Brooks.

  “How’s it going?” Mateo asks.

  I want to be mad at him, but I know he means well. “Great, thanks.” Hopefully that will get him to be on his way. He checked in with me, got his answer, and he can go now. Brooks seems like a smart guy, so I’m pretty sure he realizes what’s going on here. Instead of having a girlfriend call me with an emergency to bail me out of my date if I needed it, my overprotective guy friend sat nearby like a bodyguard.

 
“Hey, I’m Elliot.” The last man I want to talk to right now puts his hand out to Brooks.

  “And Madison’s boss, I hear. I’m Brooks. Nice to meet you.” While they shake hands, Elliot cuts me a surprised glance. I notice Mateo give Elliot an annoyed look. What’s that about?

  “I’m Mateo,” he says to Brooks, shaking hands.

  “I heard that,” Brooks says good-naturedly. He’s taking this invasion really well and I wonder if it’s because he’s lost interest in me, or if he’s just being nice about it. “Madison mentioned you’re friends. Want to sit for a minute?”

  Looks like Brooks has lost interest and is being nice. The one time I wish a date wouldn’t be polite…

  “Do we?” Elliot says to Mateo.

  I watch Mateo waver between leaving me alone and satisfying his curiosity a bit more. “Sure,” he decides.

  They sit down, Elliot to my left and Mateo to my right. Elliot’s knee rubs against mine under the table. It’s accidental—I think—but distracting and I forget what I was going to say to get rid of these guys. I’m safe with Brooks. They can go.

  “What do you do for work?” Elliot asks.

  Oh no. They are not going to give him the third degree. I find my voice. “You guys. We’re in the middle of a date, so…”

  “It’s fine,” Brooks says. His nice eyes land on mine before turning to Elliot. “I’m a paramedic.”

  “A buddy of mine is a firefighter,” Mateo says, and before I know it the three of them are talking like I’m not even there.

  I rest my chin in my hand and think about what I should pack for the company retreat this weekend. I’d be a lot more upset if I wasn’t here to scope out Brooks’s behavior first and foremost. Mateo knows this is the “third guy,” so maybe that’s why he felt like he could sit down with us.

  “Excuse me?” One of the restaurant’s employees stops at our table. “We have a private party happening tonight. We apologize for any inconvenience, but will be closing in five minutes.”

  “Thanks,” Brooks says. “Madison, can I take you out for dessert somewhere? Just the two of us.”

  I perk up. He is interested and doesn’t want our date to end. “I’d love to.”

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Elliot pipes in. “We’ve got to leave early tomorrow morning.” He looks at Mateo and Brooks. “We’re driving to Lake Tahoe for a company retreat.”

  “You’re heading to Tahoe tomorrow?” Brooks asks.

  “Yes,” I say.

  “I am, too. I’m doing a search and rescue training camp up there.”

  “Wow. How funny,” I say. Is this the universe’s way of saying I should definitely see Brooks again?

  “I’m not sure what the schedule is, but I could check in with you?” he adds.

  “Okay.”

  “I’m pretty sure we’ve got a packed agenda,” Elliot says, reminding me that this weekend is about my job, not another date.

  “Right,” I say. “I wasn’t thinking. Sorry.”

  “No worries, I get it. So, dessert or no dessert?” Brooks asks, as the four of us stand to leave.

  As much as I’d like to grab something sweet to eat with him, I haven’t packed yet. I’m also feeling a weird vibe from Elliot. Does he see something in Brooks I don’t? Is he trying to silently warn me away from making a mistake? Is he jealous? Mateo seems normal, so I don’t know for sure.

  “I should head home, but thank you anyway.” I hang back a moment so Elliot and Mateo can leave before us and I can walk out beside Brooks privately.

  “I’d like to take you out again. Is it cool if I get in touch with you next week?”

  “Yes.” It’s the first time a guy has asked for a second date and I’ve wanted to accept.

  Brooks stops before opening the glass door of the restaurant. “It was really nice meeting you, Madison.”

  “You, too. Thank you for dinner.”

  An awkward moment passes before I decide to kiss him on the cheek. His return smile is nice, more comforting than stimulating, but at least it’s something.

  We step outside, Elliot and Mateo thankfully not anywhere in sight. “Are you parked close by?” Brooks asks.

  “Just across the street.”

  “I’m down that way.” He thumbs over his shoulder, down the sidewalk.

  “Good night then.” I smile.

  “Good night.” He smiles.

  We stand in happy stillness for a beat before I break the connection. My steps are light as I turn around and walk to the intersection so I can use the crosswalk. To my surprise, Mateo and Elliot come around the corner. I roll my eyes. I should have guessed they’d be lurking around here somewhere.

  “Seriously? You waited for me?” That’s taking it too far. “You guys are unbelievable. I was okay with you keeping to yourself and keeping an eye on me, Matty, in case I needed you, but you should have noticed I was totally fine and left without approaching us. I had a good time with Brooks. He’s a nice, normal guy, so what gives?”

  Mateo shoots Elliot another annoyed look. “You’re right. Brooks is a good guy, and I’m sorry we interfered.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You have my blessing if you want to go out with him again.”

  I give Mateo a little push in the upper arm. “I don’t need your blessing.”

  “That’s true,” he says, again looking at Elliot, but this time I’m not sure what his expression says.

  “You parked close by?” Elliot asks, echoing Brooks. His eyes have been on me this whole time and he sounds like he’s both relieved and in a hurry to leave. There’s something he’s not saying.

  “I’m right across the street. I lucked out with a metered spot.”

  Elliot nods, noticing my car. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He’s picking me up at five for the sevenish-hour drive to Lake Tahoe. I’d wanted to ride with Auggie and Hazel, but they left today in order to make sure things were ready at the resort when everyone arrives. Yesterday, Elliot put a small box of over-the-counter medication to treat my motion sickness on my desk and told me I could drive his car whenever I needed to while on our way.

  “I’ll be ready,” I tell him, then I give Mateo a hug goodbye. “Bye,” I say softly in his ear.

  When I get home, I gather my stuff for the trip. The weather calls for sunshine but cold temperatures, so I bring clothes I can layer. Once my bag is packed, I hop in the shower to save time in the morning. While standing under the hot stream of water, I think back on my night. I enjoyed being with Brooks. He’s attractive, smart, friendly. But the person I really want, the person I can’t stop thinking about, is Elliot. I cover my face with my hands and drop my head. I can’t have Elliot. He’s off-limits as long as we’re working together, and I hope to be working together for a long time. Which means I need to get over him, and the best way to do that is to spend time with someone else.

  Someone like Brooks.

  I wash, shampoo, shave my legs. I finish with my loofa, scrubbing it over my entire body. I think about rubbing it between my legs, but I don’t. Because the person I’d be thinking about while I got myself off is the one person I have to stop picturing all the time.

  Climbing into bed, I power up my laptop to send an email to Brooks’s mom. I’m really glad to have my three paid dates over with. The report I gave to Liam’s mom had been easy. He was a decent guy and if it hadn’t been for Elliot dating his sister, I’d like to think he would have asked me for a second date. Jesse’s report was harder. I didn’t want to bash the guy, and I didn’t want to hurt his mom, so I tried to stay mostly neutral, pointing out good things—he bought me a drink and picked a unique place to meet—with areas where I thought his manners could use improvement. I owed it to her to be truthful and I was, to a safe degree.

  Easiest of them all is the report I’m typing now. I sing Brooks’s praises and assure his mom she has nothing to worry about. Brooks is definitely boyfriend material. (Insert happy face.) I don’t mention we might see
each other again. I typed it, then deleted it.

  Because I’m not sure what I’ll do if he does get in touch.

  I’m not sure about anything.

  “Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don’t fool.”

  —Robert Brault

  Sax/Hastings

  Workplace Strategy

  Scorecard

  Sax – 1

  Hastings – 3

  Chapter Fifteen

  Elliot

  After a long drive to get to Lake Tahoe, I wasn’t about to say no to the optional hike, even though I should have. There’s eight of us following a guide through the giant pine trees, the dirt trail an easy walk with inspiring views of the deep blue lake in the distance. More stimulating to me, however, is the female body in front of me. I can’t take my eyes off Madison’s long legs and round ass covered in black skin-tight workout wear.

  I’ve tried. Trust me, I’ve tried. But I’ve been to Tahoe before and the sight right in front of me is so much better.

  The agenda for the weekend is very loose, with only three mandatory sessions beginning tomorrow morning. It’s James’s goal that those meetings, combined with unstructured free time, will give his employees a chance to bond away from work and build deeper relationships.

  I’d like to bury myself deep inside Madison.

  Dude, breathe in the fresh air and take in the snowcapped mountains, not your assistant’s sexy backside.

  Madison glances over her shoulder at me. She’s so damn adorable, checking to make sure I’m still behind her. We’re the last two in the single-file line. Drake is up at the front with a couple of other people from the San Francisco office.

  Discussion between the group members has centered on what everyone plans to eat once we return to civilization. Auggie, in the middle of our line, makes it sound like we’re so far from the hotel we may starve first. She’s a natural-born leader and jokester and has no problem poking fun at herself.

  “Okay everyone,” she calls out. “Time to break into song. This is to the tune of ‘These are a Few of My Favorite Things,’ so sing with me, people: when your stride breaks, when your foot aches, when I’m moving too slow, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel so low.” She repeats the refrain until we all join in. She’s got a killer voice. I can’t say the same for the rest of us. Then someone shouts out, “How about ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’?” Auggie gives a “Yes!” and we change songs.