Called Under

by Nathan Haines

  I screamed again and this time I swallowed water and started choking. I jerked my head back, trying to see the surface of the lake, and I could see it just above me. I held Benji tighter and jumped forward. I felt my forehead reach the surface but it wasn’t enough. I felt like my lungs were going to explode. I hit the bottom and pushed forward again. It was hard to concentrate and getting harder to see. It wasn’t bright or warm anymore, although I felt numb from the cold. But it was getting harder to see. Everything was getting darker.

  I tried to jump up again, but my legs didn’t want to work. Benji had stopped struggling and was getting heavier. I took a few more steps forward and felt my hair touch the surface. I jumped straight up and tried to breathe but couldn’t. I staggered forward a couple more steps, bent over with Benji in my arms and jumped again. This time when I stood up, my face was just above the water.

  I tried to gasp, but nothing happened. I coughed instead. It felt like my chest was filled with razor blades. I coughed again harder and water came out of my mouth. I took a ragged gasp of air and it hurt even more, filling my lungs with fire.

  “Come help me!” I yelled to Rudy and Angela who were standing on the shore. “I got Benji!”

  I struggled forward with him, lifting him up as best I could. I looked down at his face and his eyes were closed. As I got closer to shore and the water was shallower, it was hard to hold myself up, much less Benji. I fell forward into the water, which didn’t seem as cold as the air. I put an arm around Benji and under his arms and started crawling towards shore, trying not to cough or throw up. I looked up and Rudy was heading toward me, and Angela was still at the shore, just ankle deep and trying to make herself move forward.

  “Take him,” I said, as Rudy came up. “Grab his hand and drag him back. I can’t carry him.”

  The moon lit up Rudy well, and I could see tears running down his cheeks. As I felt Benji being pulled away from me, I tried to gasp and catch my breath, coughed again, and collapsed into the water.

  It felt warm and inviting. Up above was cold and and windy. But the water was comfortable. I could stay there forever. I wanted to.

  Benji was safe now. I just needed to rest a little. I was so tired. Everything would be all right if I just stayed there for a little while.

  I thought of Benji, eyes closed, sleeping as I carried him out of the water. I thought of Rudy, tears running down his face. He had snot running out of his nose, too. He was worried about us. But now Benji was safe and it was time to rest.

  Suddenly, I thought of Rudy crying. And though of Angela, and Mom and Dad. And Benji—what would he think if I died trying to save him?

  My brain told my arms to push me out of the water. They didn’t want to listen at first, but slowly they did. I came up out of the water and gasped again. I looked toward the shore where Rudy and Angela were pulling Benji out of the water. I started crawling after them, forcing myself to keep going. My arms felt like spaghetti noodles, and my muscles were starting to ache. I couldn’t stop coughing, and it hurt to breathe.

  Slowly I became aware of yelling. Rudy and Angela were crying over Benji’s body. I looked up and could see lights back through the trees. I saw sections of the trees light up in swaying cones and realized they were flashlights. Maybe someone had heard Rudy and Angela crying. I hoped so. I was cold and just wanted to sleep.

  I dragged myself out of the water and collapsed in the mud. Hitting the ground caused me to cough up more water, and then I threw up. I could taste the lake water as it came up. I guess I’d swallowed water, too, but I didn’t remember it.

  I looked over at Benji, who was lying in the mud, naked. There were shouts from the trees and I could hear running and the flashlights pointed towards us. When they focused on Benji, I could see he was sleeping, and his lips were blue.

  Sleep sounded like a good idea. I put my head back down in the mud and fell asleep.

  I woke up shivering. I was being carried with my chest over someone’s shoulder. I tried to get up and lean back to see who it was, but I couldn’t move back fast enough to straighten up. My muscles still didn’t want to work, except for one thing. I was shivering so hard my whole body ached.

  “I’ve got you, Joey. Just relax.” It was my dad’s voice, but I still felt confused. There was a lot of noise all around.

  “Benji.” I rasped. It felt like my voice didn’t want to work.

  “Mom’s got him. We’re getting you inside. Just hold on a little longer.”

  “Sounds good, Dad,” I said, and I just sort of dozed, between shivering and the jolt of Dad’s footsteps.

  Suddenly it was bright and warmer, and I heard a metal door slam shut. It was the screen door to the cabin and when I opened my eyes and felt the light stab my temples, I realized I was inside. My head felt like it was stuffed with cotton candy. Dad put me down on the couch and said he’d be right back. I slumped over sideways with my eyes closed to try and fend off the headache I was getting.

  I could hear Mom crying and saying Benji’s name over and over, and then I heard the bathtub being filled up. I opened my eyes when I heard footsteps and Dad appeared again. He leaned down and lifted me back up. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you in the tub.”

  I protested when he lowered me in the water because it burned. I tried to sit up, but he put his hand on my chest. “Stay there,” he said. “The water’s only warm. You were freezing out there.” I wasn’t strong enough to push back against him, so I lay back down again. The water burned as the tub filled up, but underneath the water it only tingled, like my whole body was asleep. A few seconds later, Mom came in and put Benji in the tub next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I could hear him breathing shallowly. I tried to talk to Mom and Dad, but they told me to just stay quiet and relax. Slowly, the pins and needles feeling across my body went away and I stopped shivering.

  I looked over at Benji. He had his eyes closed and his head was on my shoulder to keep it above the water. His lips were still purplish, but not that strange blue I saw at the lake. I guessed it must’ve been the light.

  I looked back up at Mom and Dad, who were next to the bathtub. My stomach started to churn as I thought about how I’d let them down. “Mom, Dad... I’m...” my voice was still raw, and my throat burned. “Sorry.”

  Mom said, “Just relax until you’re warmed up, Joey.”

  I tried to sit up, but Benji was heavy and it made me dizzy to move my head. “I didn’t mean for him to run away, he was with us and then he was just gone.”

  “Shh, it’s okay, honey, just relax. You’re not in trouble right now.”

  I slumped back against the side of the tub and closed my eyes. “Should’ve... said something,” I said.

  I heard Dad’s voice. “Just rest. In another few minutes we’ll get you dried off and into bed. We’ll talk about everything tomorrow. Right now we’re just glad you’re all safe.”

  I heard a hand go into the water and my dad mumble to Mom to watch the temperature of the water, and he was going to go take care of Rudy and Angela.

  I coughed a few more times, and this caused Benji to whine a bit and open his eyes.

  “Benji,” Mom cried.

  He groaned and squeezed me tighter and coughed a few times before going slack again. “Tired,” he said.

  Mom stooped over the tub and put her hand on Benji’s head and back, and then touched mine as well. “How do you feel, Joey? Warmer now?”

  ‘Yeah,” I said. “A lot better.”

  “I’m glad, honey.” She turned toward the door. “Robert?” My dad showed up after a bit. “I’m going to get Benji out of the tub and get him dried off in our room. Will you help Joey get ready for bed?”

  “Sure,” he said. He stepped into the bathroom, behind my mom, and looked at me. “Give you a little more privacy,” he said, and winked.

  Dad held open a towel as Mom leaned down and picked up Benji. I helped her as she sat my brother up, and he straightened and opened his eyes and looked s
traight at me. “They’re waiting for us,” he said in a soft, clear voice. Then he coughed a bit more and started whining as Mom lifted him out of the tub. The water ran down his legs and sounded like the start of rain as Mom swayed him a couple of times before swinging him over to Dad, who wrapped him in a towel. I heard him take a raspy breath before coughing again, and Dad handed him to Mom where he held on again as she left the bathroom. Dad closed the door behind her and then started unfolding a towel.

  “Let’s get you dried off and in bed,” he said softly. He helped me get out of my trunks and then helped me stand up carefully so he could wrap a towel over my shoulders. He held my arm as I stepped carefully over the tub and then he lowered me onto the toilet lid and took another towel and dried my hair and then my legs.

  I had been too old for help in the bath since I was Benji’s age, but I was tired and felt terrible and it was nice to be taken care of, even if I didn’t deserve it. I was so tired I wouldn’t even have cared if Mom was there, but I was grateful that she’d given me a little privacy. It didn’t seem like a very important thing to worry about after almost drowning, but sometimes your brain just thinks of things. Dad had to basically do everything for me, since I had goosebumps and just wanted to sleep, but once I was dry he actually picked me up and carried me into the bedroom, and even though I could never tell him this, it felt good. I thought to myself I’d have to stop complaining when Benji wanted me to hold him.

  I let Dad help me into pajamas and then he lay me back and pulled the covers over me. “Just sleep as best as you can and everything will be better in the morning, okay?”

  “Mmm,” I said. I fell asleep instantly.

  Four

  I dreamed I was underwater. The water was warm, pressing all around me, and I could feel a current flowing. It was day up above the surface, but down here everything was a cloudy green. I wasn’t wearing anything, and I saw shadows of high buildings out past where I could see. I saw Benji swim up to me with a smile on his face, and when he came up to me, he stopped and said, “We’re going to love it here, Joey. We can stay here forever!” Then he leaned back and started to swim away.

  I woke up with a gasp. I squinted against the light coming in from the window, and looked around for my watch. I slid out of bed and grabbed it from the dresser. The LCD was faded and the segments that made up the numbers were kind of scrambled. I could see the water under the screen and sighed. I wondered if would dry or if it were ruined and I’d just need a new one.

  My head hurt a little, and I felt kinda like the watch.

  I stretched and shuffled towards the door. When I opened it I could hear Rudy and Angela playing in the rest of the cabin. The smell of pancakes filled the hall, and I hoped there were still some warm, since the cabin didn’t have a microwave. I went down the hallway and looked into the living room. They had Mouse Trap set up and it looked like they were about halfway through the game. I yawned loudly without meaning to, and they looked up.

  “Joey!” Angela yelled and jumped up to run over to me. Rudy jumped up, too, and they both hugged me. I held on to the door frame to keep from getting knocked over.

  “Hey,” I said, and patted both of them on the back. I looked over to Benji who was coming over a lot more slowly, and I didn’t blame him. He had bags under his eyes and looked more tired than I did. Benji came around Rudy and I leaned down and picked him up.

  Benji hugged me and I kissed him on the cheek. He leaned back in my arms. “Everyone says you saved me. But I just wanted to visit the mermaids a bit.”

  I sighed. “No more visits. You can’t breathe underwater.”

  He hugged me again. “I’m glad you saved me. I’ll see them soon.” Then he straightened his legs, which meant he want down. I set him down and he went back to the board game.

  “You were in the water for so long I didn’t know what to do,” Rudy said. I looked away from Benji and down at Rudy, and he looked really worried. I hugged him.

  “You looked out for Angela and listened to me when I said to stay out of the water. That was the right thing to do. The lake is...” I looked between Angela and Rudy, then dropped my voice. “The lake is weird sometimes.” Angela hugged me again so I added her to the hug, too.

  By then, Mom came to the entry to the kitchen. “Joey, you’re awake! I’ll make you some fresh pancakes. We all slept in today.”

  “Thanks. What time is it?” I asked.

  “Almost 10,” Mom said.

  “Wow,” I said. That was late for breakfast. Usually if I slept in that late over the summer it was just cereal for me.

  I let go of my brother and sister. “Okay, let go of me now. I have to pee like crazy.”

  Rudy snickered and they both went back to the board game with Benji. I went back into the bathroom and after I finished and washed my hands, I brushed my teeth. I could still sort of taste the lake in my mouth and it was creepy. No wonder I’d dreamed about it.

  I went back into the kitchen and poured a glass of milk at the table while my mom finished making a stack of pancakes for me. She set the plate down in front of me, and I started putting butter in between them as Benji came in.

  “I want a pancake,” he said.

  Mom got up from the table. “I’ll make you one more,” she said.

  “No, I want one of Joey’s,” he said, pointing at my pancakes.

  Mom looked over at me and I sighed. “Yeah, fine. I’ll give him one.”

  “Thanks, honey, I’ll make you another, it’ll only take a minute,” she said. She put another plate on the table and I stabbed the top pancake with a fork and put it on his plate. “Help him with the syrup, would you, dear?”

  I put syrup on his pancakes first, and then on mine, and then I started cutting out a couple wedges so I could eat them a bite at a time. Benji used his fork to pick up the entire pancake and take nibbles out of it.

  “Dad and I want you kids to stay inside today, okay?” Mom put another plate on the table with an extra pancake. “Yesterday was very exciting and we think it’s better if you rest.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I said around a mouthful of pancakes. The best thing about vacation was that Mom bought real butter instead of the margarine we had to use at home. It tasted good enough that I even poured a little less syrup than usual so I could taste it better.

  Benji started coughing, and Mom said, “Slow down, honey. Don’t eat so fast.” He nodded and put his head down on the table while he got his coughing under control.

  “Where’s Dad, anyway?”

  Mom got an apologetic look on her face. “He got up early to return the canoes. I’m sorry, honey, but we’re only here another day and it seemed like a good idea to do some stuff away from the lake.”

  I tried to cut the next slice of pancakes with the side of my fork so I didn’t have to juggle the butter knife. “That’s okay. I think I’m done canoeing until next year.” I focused my gaze on my plate.

  “I want to go to them,” Benji muttered and put his head on the table.. “The mermaids.”

  I stopped for a bit. I didn’t want to talk about that at all.

  “What do you mean, honey?” Mom asked him. He mumbled something and then coughed a couple of times and was quiet.

  I sighed. “When Benji fell into the lake, he imagined mermaids. That’s why he wasn’t afraid the second time when he fell in at the dock.” I put another forkful of pancakes in my mouth.

  “The second time?” Mom said. “What second time?”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t really mean to tell her that, but I still felt really guilty about it.

  “The first day we went canoeing together, I went around the island in the lake because he had to pee and we were too far out to make it back. He fell out of the canoe and I had to rescue him.”

  Mom’s voice grew cold. “He had his life jacket on, didn’t he?”

  “Yes! I just loosened it so he could pee. Anyway, it didn’t even scare him, he’s been going on and on about mermaids ever since. H
is imagination’s out of control.”

  “Why didn’t you tell us about this?”

  “It wasn’t a big deal, Mom. People fall out of boats all the time. I pushed him back into the canoe like immediately.”

  She gave me the look. “Joseph, we’ll talk about this more when your father gets back.” Ugh, there was my full name again.

  I sunk down in my seat. “Yes, Mom.” This vacation was getting worse all the time.

  I glared at Benji, but felt bad doing that at the same time. It wasn’t his fault. Dad had forced Benji to go with me just like he’d forced me to take him. Benji still had his cheek on the table and was sort of tapping his fingers on the table in front of his face. I was glad he didn’t see me glare at him. He looked really tired and if I made him cry I’d really be in trouble. If I just lay low until Dad got back maybe I wouldn’t even be in trouble.

  I finished my pancakes, but I wasn’t that hungry and they tasted like paste. I cleared the table and picked up Benji’s plate after mine. “He didn’t even eat the whole pancake,” I muttered.

  Mom went over to Benji and leaned down, stroking his hair behind his ear. “You don’t look so good, honey. Do you want to take a nap?” Benji nodded. Mom picked him up and he put his head on her shoulder. She turned to me. “Play with Angela and Rudy a bit. I expect you to be a little more responsible than you were this week.”

  “Fine,” I said, and washed my hands in the sink as she took Benji down the hall. I was glad this vacation was almost over. And it was all ruined by that stupid lake. I could feel the lake, through the cabin walls. I knew where it was and it felt big and deep and cold. I wondered what was even down there. Probably just stupid fish. And whatever fish ate.

  I watched Rudy and Angela play Mouse Trap. Rudy got mad when he sprung the trap on Angela but the diver fell over instead of landing in the tub and the trap didn’t come down on her piece. They started fighting about that and Rudy said it should still count anyway and I made them stop fighting and put the game away while I set up Risk instead.