by Abra Ebner
I gave him a confident look, “Oh yeah, I think so.”
Scott’s eyes dropped to his lap, “So,” he paused, “I was sort of wondering…”
I leaned against the counter, cringing to myself at the predictable question that was coming next. I knew it was only a matter of time, especially after seeing how the nurse had looked at us.
“So I was just wondering if you wanted to maybe, you know, go for a hike? Have dinner with me tonight?” The way he said it let me know it wasn’t a normal invite and I squeezed my eyes shut in disdain. As I feared, he was looking for more meaning from our friendship. I looked at him with pathetic eyes as he fidgeted with his hands, looking down into his lap and averting my gaze.
My heart sank and I felt exceedingly guilty, “Oh uh…”
He looked up at me, and for the first time, I think he finally got it. “Oh yeah I know, just thought, you know.” He smiled bleakly.
“I’m sorry Scott,” I paused, unable to formulate exactly what to tell him, he was my friend and I liked it that way, “It’s just that, I was an orphan and I’ve never had friends before…” I trailed off, hoping he’d take that bit of information and accept that we’d never date.
“Is it Professor Edgar?” His comment was bold and knowing.
He had taken me by surprise I looked at him alarmed and I’m sure my face said it all.
A sweet smile grew across his face, “Well,” he paused as he re-grouped, “Then I guess that’s cool.” He stood and walked toward me, “Friends are a good thing.” His beady eyes were blinking with love and I suddenly felt like throwing myself off a cliff for being so mean.
I took another sip of my coffee, thankful he’d accepted our friendship, “I just would hate for things to get weird, you know?” I was pleading with him.
He nodded as he gave me a silly overcompensating smile that said he was ok. “Well, what about breakfast though, no harm there,” he asked lightly, his mood shifting.
I gave him an empty smile, putting my coffee down and grabbing his hand, “Perfect, let’s do that.”
I playfully yanked him out the door, still trying to make myself feel less like the bad guy for not liking him. As we walked to breakfast I thought about Edgar, and I wondered where he was. The feeling of separation was strange, as though now that we were close, we were never supposed to be apart. It just all felt so sudden, so out of the blue, like love at first sight or something goofy like that.
Scott bounded along as though nothing had happened. I was hoping this time he’d finally understand and quit hitting on me. We opened the door to the cafeteria and I glanced around in my attempt to maybe help him find a date, thinking then, he’d really give me my space and also forgive me for being such a cold hearted jerk.
I wasn’t much of a matchmaker, well not at all, but it was worth a try. I felt so sisterly to him, and not to mention responsible. We grabbed our food and took the same table as always. I scanned the room, my eyes meeting one mean face after another.
“So Scott,” I ventured, noticing the lonely girl to my right and just a few tables over. I wasn’t really sure where I was going with this, but it felt like the right solution, “How about that girl over there, sitting all alone? She’s sure cute, huh?”
He blushed and I knew I had caught him off guard. “Yeah,” he shoveled food into his mouth in avoidance.
“Oh come on, I know you were just asking me because you’re lonely.” I stared at him while he chewed in defiance.
He looked hurt but also seemed to be considering what I’d said as he glanced toward the girl. She was relatively cute for being a granola eater, with auburn hair and glasses that nicely framed her face.
“Go right now, it will be easy, invite her to eat with us,” I urged him on, playfully manipulating his malleable mind.
His timid eyes watched her as she ate her food, “I guess I could.” A look of confidence flashed across his face. He finished chewing and wiped his mouth, looking to me for approval.
I gave him a stern glare, giving him a slight nudge “Go,” I whispered eagerly.
He stood up and smoothed his lame Boy Scout shirt over his cargo pants and straightened his glasses. He walked over in his typical awkward fashion and stood before her and I watched in amazement as they began to talk. I couldn’t hear what he said but she suddenly smiled and looked to me with gracious eyes. I watched her stand and they walked back to our table together. I was speechless as I shamelessly gawked, amazed that I’d accomplished such a social feat. They approached me with happy grins and pink cheeks, a part of me wishing I could be happy about this moment too.
“This is Sarah,” Scott was beaming, “She’s very grateful for the invite.”
I gave her my kindest fake smile, “Hi Sarah, you just looked so alone over there.”
She exuded the same hyper energy as Scott and I was proud to have put this together, first Mother Earth and now expert matchmaker.
“Oh thanks,” she beamed, “I was starting to think everyone here was cold and mean.” Her happiness was almost sickening and I couldn’t stop myself from envying her.
Scott moved his tray over to make room for Sarah at the table. When they finally sat, they both kept eyeing each other like school kids on Valentine’s Day.
“So what is your name?” she asked with eyes full of youth and innocence.
I stared in disbelief, finding myself suddenly blessed with not just one, but two accidental friends. “Estella,” I said with confidence, making the initiative to stick my hand out to shake hers.
She grabbed it and wobbled it with surprising vigor. She was disgustingly perfect. “That’s a beautiful name. Estella.” She said it as though trying it on for size. “My mom was really uncreative,” she gave a discontented face.
I winced, just what I needed, another mom comment sending me into internal turmoil, “Thanks.”
Scott was beaming at her, almost on the brink of gawking. I gave him a stern look and he snapped out of his awkward trance.
“Oh, uh,” he paused, it was like love at first sight and I was just a glimmer in the rearview, “Well, I sure think Sarah is a pretty name.”
His cheesy smile didn’t impress me but it sure sent Sarah into rolls of giggles and blushing.
I watched them as they began to talk, and suddenly, I felt like a third wheel and I liked it. I stayed long enough to be polite before strategically excusing myself. The love that was blooming was all I could handle and I quickly snuck out of the room.
My pace was brisk as I walked back to my cabin, excited for the solitude. I planned out a day of reading, laundry, and thinking. I was determined to accumulate as much info as I could before Edgar returned. I needed to collect on his background so that I was certain I wasn’t getting in over my head, or getting myself in serious danger.
Later that afternoon, however, I found myself in serious debate. I’d promised Edgar I’d stay out of the woods but today had dragged on longer than I’d liked and I was bored. What did it matter anyways? He was gone. And like he said, the raven was just a weird sort of coincidence and he was dead anyways. I’d lived eighteen years without any problems, and in much more dangerous places than here, surely.
I was biting my nails, looking out the window of my cabin toward the woods and weighing my rebellious side. I couldn’t handle it anymore, this was my Saturday, my day to finally explore this place on my own. My nerves twitched, there was a voice inside me that said ‘no’ but I forcibly muted it, shoving it away like dirty laundry.
“Screw it,” I said out loud, grabbing my coat and opening my door, conclusively righteous with my stern grip on the handle.
The air today was less obtrusive. At breakfast I had noticed a distinct change in the weather, but I was happy for it. I was used to the constant rain of Seattle and at times I even liked it, so today, the somewhat cooler weather was nice. I stepped down onto the stoop to put on my boots, noticing there was also a strong steady breeze as it fell hard on my face. I stood with deter
mination, exhaling hard as I took off up the path and into the woods.
I passed the hut again, this time turning to the right as I decided the meadow seemed far too familiar, not to mention still a little scary. I looked behind me with wary eyes. As before, it still felt as though someone was there, but as the wind came cold and fast up my back, I realized it was just its presence within the forest. There were large droves of sage dotting the floor and their scent was like heaven as it laced across my face and through my hair. The ferns rustled in the wind, their curling tips bowing to the floor in soft arches.
I walked on the path for what felt like a few miles. So far, nothing had jumped out at me and I fell into a comfortable rhythm. The path looked well traveled and cared for, which was a lot better than the somewhat rustic path to the meadow. The fact that this was the trail more heavily visited gave me a sense of security. Bad things were less likely to happen here.
My hands were pushed into my pockets, the wind chilling them despite their cover. I was humming to myself, something Heidi had hummed to me every night since the day she took me in. The plants absorbed my voice as they leaned toward me, the grass curling out as though kissed by the sunless sky. My bones shook as the wind whipped through the evergreens again, humming back to me like the ocean.
Suddenly, something very large and gray, almost the size of a small plane, flew like a silent cloud through the trees in my blind spot. I halted, my feet slipping on the gravel and my humming becoming choked in my throat. I looked around but nothing was there. The swirling gusts through the pines disabled my hearing and left me senseless and blind as I tried to listen. I stood there for a few minutes, but nothing happened and so I carefully pressed on, continuing to twist my head from side to side as the hair on my arms stood, my sense of sight and smell now alert.
I began humming again, though now, there was a noticeable shake to my voice. The path began to twist and a peak of rocks jut like knives skyward just a few feet ahead. Looking around, I was able to spy through an opening in the trees, catching the glimmer of the lake below. I tried to position myself in accordance with the dam at the head of the lake but I found it more difficult than I’d thought as I looked around, lost.
Giving up, I began forward again, the soft rushing of water now acutely audible in the distance. I wound myself around a large tree, stepping in a deep mud puddle that was hiding under a grove of ferns. I cursed to myself as I stamped off the dirt, looking at my boots in anger. As I inspected the messy damage a large shadow dove overhead, completely shading the ground around me and I whipped my head up, seeing a group of branches residually shaking above the spot where I stood.
My breathing quickened, dragging hard in my throat. “Hello?” I asked, but as expected, nothing answered.
Glowering at myself for being so jumpy, I quickly decided that it was nothing more than the wind in the trees. For good measure, however, I still sprinted a ways down the path, looking toward the canopy as the branches churned in anger above me. I knew I was probably just being paranoid, and I also knew that turning around wasn’t necessarily a bad idea, but my curiosity as to where the rushing sound of water was coming from was much more dominant.
My pace slowed to a walk as I caught my breath, the rushing sound even louder now, like a turbine engine on a plane as it flew overhead. My mind briefly thought of Edgar. If he found out where I was, he would be infuriated for sure. The way he had warned me to stay out of the woods was undeniably stern, but what did I really have to lose? As I rolled the idea around in my mind, I hardly noticed as the trail ended and I found myself on the edge of a very large cliff, a panoramic view of both the lake and the glacier in front of me.
I gasped. The beauty was more amazing than it was from below. I looked to my left in utter astonishment. There, roughly twenty feet away, a river threw itself with ferocity off the cliff above me and plummeted untamed to the lake below. As I stood there, deafened by nature’s wrath upon the hillside, I became mystified by its sheer size and the vertigo that began tickling my mind. I could feel the rapids booming through my chest, the weightless water falling freely like a rollercoaster.
There was another sudden gust of wind and a cloud of mist blew across my face. I winced from the glacial chill of it against my fair skin, turning away from the falls and shielding my face.
As I opened my eyes over my shoulder, I was surprised to see that there was something there, but the water that had hit my face had blurred my vision. It was large and grey, glowing as though lit by the sun. It was about the height of a human, except with large shoulders which were somewhat distorted in an awkward manner. As quick as I could manage, I tried to wipe the mist away but when I was finally able to see again, whatever it was had gone. A strong gust fell across my face as I stepped backward, almost so far that I would have fallen over the cliff. I steadied myself and blinked hard, grabbing my chest as my heart threatened to stop.
I felt my nerves pounding in my chest, reminding me that I shouldn’t be here. Bringing my hand to my mouth I thought about what to do. It was hard to deny that something was indeed following me and my stubbornness finally faltered as I instantly regretted leaving the college. I should have listened to Edgar. Adrenaline took over, pulsing through my body and controlling my limbs as I took off at a run back toward the college.
My legs were pounding the forest floor as the mud splashed out all over my jeans, my mind now fleeting as I heard something rustling through the branches behind and above me. I glanced up as I saw another shadow being cast around me, but as my eyes finally met the location of whatever or whoever it was, it had shot further skyward and only a large flutter of grey was visible between the open patches of sky. I put my hand to my chest out of fear but there was no choking feeling or fogging mind. I shut my eyes and pumped my feet harder, my thighs burning and my throat raw.
I heard voices ahead of me as I forced my eyes open again, relieved to see two people on the path before me. As I flailed toward them, they turned. Out of breath, I was surprised to see Scott and Sarah looking at me horrified. I urged my body to slow to a hurried walk as I nearly bowled right through them, their eyes wide with astonishment.
“Estella!” Sarah gasped, “What’s going on?”
I struggled to catch my breath as Scott put his hand on my back. My side was cramping now and I kept looking back into the woods but there was still nothing.
“There…” I was heaving hard, “There was…Something…chasing…” I let my voice trail off. Scott and Sarah were looking at me horrified, their lips tied in utter disbelief.
Scotts face was the most horrified as he stared deep into my eyes, “Was it a bear?”
This was absurd, how can a bear fly through the trees? I rolled what I’d seen over and over in my head before responding, “Uh,” I was still trying to catch my breath, still eyeing the forest behind me with suspicion, “Uh, yeah.” I breathed. It was a lie, but as far as level of danger went, it was probably the same. I needed to get them out of here, and fast.
Their eyes both got very wide and each hooked an arm through my elbows. “Maybe we should go,” Sarah’s voice was shaking.
They helped me forward, and soon, we were briskly walking. I winced through the pain in my side, struggling to remember what I’d witnessed but I couldn’t connect the pieces. It was unlike anything I’d seen before, large, quiet, and fast.
We finally emptied out of the trailhead and I watched as Sarah’s face relaxed into a look of relief.
“Thank goodness,” she gasped as her face curled into a thankful smile.
I couldn’t help but also feel immensely relieved.
Scott looked at me laughing, “Remind me not to be your friend anymore, ok?” He was joking, but a part of his statement made a lot of sense, “You’re a magnet for trouble Elle. No offense, but I have never felt more afraid for my life until I met you.”
“You have no idea,” I whispered under my breath. I had never been in fear like this either. I looked at Sarah’s face
, feeling horrible that on her first day meeting me, I’d already managed to go crazy and put her in danger. I wondered exactly what she thought of me.
Sarah and Scott were laughing now and I rolled my eyes. I wondered how it felt to be them, thinking they’d just narrowly escaped a bear when really, it was something else, maybe even something far worse.
Scott looked at me, smiling, “Well, what should we do now?”
“Monopoly?” Sarah asked with careless eyes.
My heart was still racing. The fear in my bones wasn’t yet gone and I didn’t feel the threat was over. How could they be thinking of stupid board games when there are weird things happening in the woods around us? I desperately wished for Edgar to be here right now, I needed his reassurance and his answers.
“Estella? Are you up for a game?” Scott looked to me with a questioning glare.
My eyes darted between the two gleeful faces, “Uh,” I paused, my body still shaking, “I think I may lie down.”
Scott laughed, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea, besides, you’re kind of starting to look faint again.”
Sarah giggled and I nodded, “Yeah, I think you’re right, thanks though.”
“Maybe next time?” Scott and Sarah looked at each other with a glint of relief. I knew they didn’t want me tagging along anyways.
“Yeah, sounds great,” I replied, faking a shaky smile.
They waved as they turned and began walking down the hill. I let out one last terrified breath before running into my cabin.
I slammed the door hard behind me, cursing at it for not having a lock. For good measure I rushed to the chair that sat next to the window, yanking it toward the door and propping it under the handle. For a moment I felt mildly safe, though, when it came to strange ghosts or phenomenon, as I had watched on TV, they could technically still walk through walls.
Finding there was little more I could do, I sat on my bed, figuring there was no way to control this. Whatever it was that was out there had seemed harmless, and besides, it hadn’t attacked even though it had ample chances to. I shuddered, all my life I’d thought I was the only monster, but now, it seemed I was just one of many. Sighing, my heart rate finally began to decline as I mustered up the bravery to get over it. I grabbed a book from the floor, hoping to delve my mind into a trance of reading.