The Difference

by Kaylee Ryan

“Hussy,” I tease. She gives me a beaming smile. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her so happy.

  “Addyson.” Lucas stands and reaches for my bag. “Let me take that for you.”

  “Thanks,” I say, handing him my bag.

  “What can I get you to drink? Justin pretty much has anything you can think of. I can mix you a drink,” he offers.

  I raise my hands up. “No, thank you.” I laugh. “Besides, I’m driving home.”

  “I can take you home,” he offers, holding up a bottle of water.

  “You’re more than welcome to stay here, Addyson,” Justin offers sweetly.

  “Thank you, but water is fine.” I watch Lucas as he sets my bag on the table, and plunges his hand into the cooler, pulling out a bottle of water. “Thanks,” I say when he hands it to me.

  “You have your suit on?” Harper asks.

  “No, it’s in my bag though.”

  “I’ve been waiting for you to get here. We need to catch up.” She turns to face Justin. “What are your plans?” she asks him.

  “Spending the day with you.”

  I can visibly see her swooning from this side of the table. Her eyes soften, her shoulders relax, and her smile is bright.

  “You,” she points to me, “go get changed. We’re lounging by the pool and catching up. I haven’t seen much of you lately.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I mock salute her. She’s right. We’ve only talked a few times this week. That’s not like us. “Justin, do you mind if I go inside and get changed?”

  “I’ll show you.” Lucas stands and picks up my bag, heading toward the sliding glass door.

  “Make yourself at home, Addyson,” Justin replies, reaching over and placing his hand on Harper’s thigh.

  “Addyson,” Lucas calls out. He’s standing at the door, my bag in his large hands, waiting on me.

  I stand from the table and make my way toward him. “I can take that.” I reach for my bag.

  “You can, but why would you if I’m here?”

  His voice is void of any teasing, and his brown eyes are serious. “Because I can take care of myself.”

  “There’s no debate about that. What I’m trying to say and apparently failing to do is that if I’m around, I want to do these things for you.”

  “Lucas,” I start, and he holds up his hand to stop me.

  “Let me, Addy. How am I supposed to show you who I really am if you won’t let me be me?”

  How can I possibly argue with that? More butterflies take flight in my belly. “Thank you,” I concede. He wants to show me who he really is, and to my surprise, I can’t wait to find out.

  He nods. “This way.” He pulls open the sliding glass door and motions for me to step inside. I’m immediately assaulted by the cool air of the air conditioning. I startle when Lucas entwines our fingers. I let him guide me through the kitchen and down the hall. “This is his guest quarters. His parents use it when they come to visit. You can leave your stuff in here.”

  “Wow, this house is great.”

  “We are architects,” he reminds me with a wry grin.

  “I know that, but that doesn’t mean you can build a home or does it?” I ask him.

  He shrugs. “Depends, some of us can draw and design but have no build experience. That’s just for the most part. Me, on the other hand, my grandfather was a carpenter, I picked up a few things. That’s where my love for building and designing started. It just grew from there.”

  “Do you have a house like this?” I ask, spinning in circles.

  “I have a house that I designed and even did some of the build. The things I had time for. The rest of it I had one of our crews contracted to complete.”

  “That’s amazing. To know you designed every detail, every wall.” I trace my hand along the wood trim on the door of the guest quarters.

  “You teach people, kids specifically, to talk. That’s amazing,” he says softly.

  “I should probably change.”

  “Need some help?” he asks, his voice husky.

  “N-No, I think I can handle it.”

  “I’ll be in the hall, you know, in case you need help with a zipper or something.”

  “No zippers.”

  “Shame.” He releases my hand and walks into the hall, softly closing the door behind him.

  It’s pathetic that all it takes are his brown eyes on me and that deep voice of his to turn me on. It’s embarrassing. Tossing my bag on the bed, I dig out my bikini. It’s teal, my favorite color. I strip down to nothing, and my body heats thinking about Lucas standing just on the other side of the door. Quickly, I change into my bikini and white cover-up. I collect my towel, sunscreen, my phone, and make sure my sunglasses are still on top of my head, and open the door.

  “Jesus,” he whispers when he sees me. “Are you trying to torture me, Addy?” He steps toward me. “Tell me, how am I supposed to walk around like this all day?”

  I give him a confused look, and he looks down between us. My eyes follow his, and that’s when I realize what he’s talking about. He’s aroused. “For me?” I ask breathlessly. Let me tell you, those swim trunks leave nothing to the imagination.

  His arm slides around my waist as he pulls me into him, his erection hitting against my belly. There’s nothing but my thin cover-up between us. “You’re fucking gorgeous,” he whispers, his lips next to my ear.

  I shiver from his words and the contact. I take a minute to compose myself before saying, “Does that line usually work for you?”

  He sighs heavily. “We better get back out there.” He wraps his hand around mine and leads me out of the room.

  I know I’m being unfair to him. He’s given me no reason to treat him this way. I don’t want to, it’s just not something I can seem to control. My heart has been battered and bruised. It needs time to heal. However, that’s no excuse to be so hard on him. I need to make a conscious effort to not do that. Not to Luke. I follow him, letting him lead me until we reach the sliding glass door. I can see Harper and Justin as they talk, their bodies close. They aren’t paying us a bit of attention, but I pull back, making him drop my hand anyway. I can’t look at him, so I just reach for the handle, open the door, and step out onto the deck. “Sorry, Justin. I need to steal my bestie for a few hours.”

  “She’s here, that’s what matters.” He kisses Harper on the temple before backing his chair away from hers, giving her room to stand. She grabs her towel and phone and motions for me to follow her down to the pool.

  “What’s been going on with you?” Harper asks once we’re settled.

  We spend the next hour catching up. I tell her about work, and she tells me about her new woes as the manager of the hotel. Justin brought us down two bottles of water with a kiss for Harper without saying a word about twenty minutes ago.

  “I say we get in the pool. It’s hot as hell out here.”

  “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

  “Race you,” Harper calls, already running toward the water.

  “Damn it, Harp.” I laugh, chasing after her. I dive in just seconds after her. “You cheated.” I pout when we both finally come up for air.

  She shrugs unapologetically. “Snooze you lose,” she jokes. We swim our way to the edge and rest our arms while kicking our feet. “You’ve got him chasing his tail,” Harper whispers.

  “What? Who?” I look over at the guys and find them both watching us.

  “Lucas.”

  “He’s a flirt,” I tell her. “A gorgeous flirt,” I add, laughing.

  “That may be, but he’s an interested flirt.”

  If only I could see the future. If I could see that Luke really is one of the good guys. “I told you, I’m on a break. Besides, you and Justin are really hitting it off. When he shits on me, which we both know he will since that’s how my story goes, it will make days like this awkward for all of us.”

  She nods. “I can see that with your experience, but imagine this. What if he turns out to be yo
ur prince?”

  “I love that you seem to have found yours, but I’ll forever be the girl on the bench, watching from the sidelines.” My gut twists to think that I’ll never find love, never have a family of my own. We can’t always get what we wish for.

  “You promised,” she says sternly.

  “Okay, maybe not forever, but Blake wrecked me. He was charming and sweet, and handsome, all the same things that Lucas has. I was with him for months. Months, Harper, and I didn’t know he was married. I thought we were building something, and in an instant, it was all torn apart.”

  “He’s a cheating bastard, and you deserve better.”

  “That’s just it. There were no signs, or if there were, I ignored them. Lucas is sexy and smart. He’s charming and kind. He’s everything I want… or wanted.” I quickly correct. “I’m just not sure I have anything in me left to give.”

  “Give it some more time. You’ll get there.”

  I let her believe that. Me, I’m not so sure. My heart was shattered. While I’m over him, I’m not over the betrayal. Not just his, but all the others as well. I’ve never had a relationship where I wasn’t used or cheated on. A girl can only take so much. Hell, if they dumped me because they were just not feeling it, or fell out of like or love or whatever, I would be able to handle that. Dust myself off and get back on the horse, but this… it’s too much. Too painful. I have this constant worry, waiting for the drama to fall into my lap, for the betrayal to be revealed.

  Hard pass.

  Chapter Ten

  Lucas

  * * *

  I’ve checked more times than I care to admit to make sure I’m not drooling. Lucky for me, Justin is in the same situation with Harper, so he hasn’t noticed and therefore isn’t giving me shit for it. Not that I’d care at this point. I’m soaking up every second of this time with her. Memorizing the curves of her body in the tiny bikini. I can honestly say it’s an image I’ll take with me to the grave.

  The girls run and jump in the pool. I watch as they swim to the edge, laughing. When they look over and catch me staring, I turn to look at Justin, who averts his gaze toward me.

  “Shit.” He chuckles. “I can’t seem to help it.”

  “At least she wants you to look.”

  “Trouble in paradise?” he teases.

  I ignore him. We both know she’s not there yet. “When are you going to tell them about the concert?”

  “I thought we could tell them over dinner.” He looks at his watch. “Hey, Harper.”

  “Yeah?”

  “You ladies ready to eat?” he asks.

  “Yes!” they shout at the same time.

  “You heard the ladies,” Justin says. “Let’s fire up the grill and get to the main event.”

  “I’m not watching you have sex with your girlfriend,” I say, deadpan.

  “Not my girlfriend. Not yet,” he says, glancing back at Harper.

  “You ready to nail that down. Put a title to it?”

  “I was ready the night I met her.”

  “Whoa, I mean, I knew you liked her, but that’s some heavy shit coming from you.”

  “I know.” He runs his hands through his hair. “It’s heavy and fucking fantastic too. She’s so down to earth, not at all worried about my money, or my status. When we talk about my family, it’s stories of me growing up, not about the money or when she can meet them. She’s one of a kind, Luke.”

  “That’s great, man.” I slap him on the shoulder. “What can I do?”

  “Grab the burgers from the fridge. I’ll get the grill fired up.”

  I head inside and gather the burgers and salt and pepper and take them back outside. “What else?”

  “Just having some chips, and Harp made some potato salad this morning.”

  “Look at you all domesticated and shit.”

  He takes it as a compliment, which it was if his smile is any indication. “So when do you plan on making it official?”

  “Soon. I’m trying not to scare her off, but damn, man, I’d move her in today if I thought she’d go for it.”

  “How do you know she won’t?” I ask.

  “Addyson.”

  “I’m not following?” Is there something going on with Addyson that I don’t know about? I’m just about ready to ask him when he starts talking again.

  “Her past. Harper has lived it with her. She’s not as jaded as Addyson, but she’s cautious. Not that I can blame her. There are a lot of assholes out there.”

  “Not just the male variety.”

  “Truth.” He looks back to the pool where the girls are swimming. “I thought I loved Amy,” he says quietly. “I thought she was the real deal, and even after all the shit she put me through, I missed her. Well, maybe not her, but the idea of her, of the life we were planning. Even the baby,” he confesses.

  He never talks about this. Amy has been locked in the vault, and he threw away the key. “And now?”

  “Now, I know it wasn’t real. I didn’t feel for her half of what I’m already feeling for Harper. It’s too soon. I know that. But damn, Luke, I can’t seem to help it. It’s like my heart is on a runaway train and every time I look at her, I just want to urge the conductor to go faster.”

  “There is no timeline,” I tell him. “You feel what you feel. From the looks of it, you’re not on that train by yourself.”

  He nods. “I just want to do it right with her. I want this to stay. I want her to stay.”

  “I have a good feeling, my man,” I say as we watch the girls climb out of the pool. Well, my eyes are on Addyson. Water runs over her body, her dark hair looking even darker wet. I almost cry when she wraps her beach towel around her body, hiding from me. Almost. Instead, I keep my eyes glued to her as they approach us.

  “What can we do?” Harper asks.

  “Nothing. We’re keeping it simple. You ladies grab a drink and take a seat. It won’t take long for these to cook.”

  “Do you mind if I use your restroom?” Addyson asks.

  “Sure, make yourself at home.”

  “I’ll show you.” I wait for her to walk past me and follow her inside. “Just down the hall.”

  “Thanks,” she says, keeping her back to me.

  I follow her, even though she can’t see me, as she disappears behind the door. Resting my back against the wall, I wait for her. It’s not lost on me that this is a first. It screams desperate, and well, maybe I am. Desperate for those brown eyes and all their attention.

  When the door opens, she’s startled to see me standing here like a creeper and gets her foot caught on the rug. I jump into action catching her. Her hands land on my chest, while mine circle her waist.

  “Sorry about that.”

  I pull her close. “Never apologize for falling into my arms.” Cheesy as fuck, but the words are out there, so I roll with it.

  Her shoulders shake with laughter. “You never give up do you, Lucas?”

  “You really want me to?” I ask her.

  “I don’t know,” she confesses. A confession that almost sounds as if she’s starting to see things my way. Maybe she finally realizes that I’m here for her. Not for what she can give me, or what she can do for me. Just her. She doesn’t know if she wants me to give up? Perfect. I don’t plan to.

  “This…” I trace the strap of her bikini that hooks around her neck. I start at her neck and follow it to her breast, skimming lightly over the top of the material. “Drives me insane.”

  “This old thing?” she teases. Her tone is light, but I can tell my touch affects her by the way her breathing kicks up.

  “I don’t care how old it is. You look incredible in it.” My index finger travels over the valley of her chest, tracing the bikini over her other breast. “Teal is my new favorite color.”

  “It’s mine. I mean, teal, it’s my favorite color.”

  “You make it look good.”

  She shakes her head in amusement. “We should probably get back out there.” She says t
he words, but her hands are still flat against my chest.

  “Yeah, no. I think I’m good right here.” I give her hip a gentle squeeze.

  “You’re staring.”

  “I am.”

  “Why? Do I have something on my face?”

  “Your lips… they look soft.”

  Her tongue peeks out and sweeps across her bottom lip. “So do yours.”

  “Yeah? Maybe we should find out?”

  “Just so we don’t have to wonder.”

  “If that’s what you want to tell yourself,” I say, leaning down, closing in on her. Adrenaline kicks in and pumps through my veins. I’ve thought of little else since the night I met her.

  “One time won’t hurt, right?”

  I’m not sure if she’s trying to convince me or herself, but I don’t need convincing. “Just a taste.” I close the distance slowly, my lips descending to hers. Her nails dig into my chest as a soft whimper escapes her. “Jump,” I say against her lips. Tightening my grip on her hips, I lift her. Instinctively, she wraps her legs around my waist. “Better,” I murmur. She’s a tiny thing, and at this angle, I can kiss her. Really kiss her like I’ve been thinking about for weeks now.

  I turn so her back is to the wall. She seems to melt into it, opening her mouth, and letting me taste her fully. My tongue touches hers for the first time, and I feel as though my senses have been short-circuited. All I feel, all I taste is her. She’s intoxicating, and I know without a doubt, one kiss, this one taste will never be enough.

  “Hey, you guys okay?” Harper calls. “It’s time to eat.”

  I slow the kiss and pull away. Addyson buries her face in my neck. “Yeah, be right there,” I call back. My voice is strong. Steady. However, I feel anything but.

  “I don’t want to let you go,” I whisper. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get you here again, and I want to make this count.”

  She looks up at me. Her brown eyes swimming with desire. “You better make it count then.”

  Not needing to be told twice, I crush my lips to hers. This time I don’t hold back. I nip at her bottom lip, taking, tasting, and memorizing her taste, her smell, the feel of her in my arms. All of it. My mind is in overdrive trying to catalogue it all. To never forget.