Sweet Evil

by Wendy Higgins

  I looked up now and saw Kaidan sitting on the edge of the dock again, looking out at the water, and realized what his questions meant. He knew something about me. I approached him, afraid he would bolt if I pressed too hard for information.

  “Why did it come and go so fast?” I asked.

  “Our bodies fight anything foreign.” Our bodies? “Germs, cancer, disease, the whole lot. Drugs and alcohol burn through quickly. Hardly worth the effort. I tried smoking. Spent days coughing up black tar.”

  “That’s attractive,” I said.

  “Precisely. Can’t afford to be unattractive.” He laughed without any amusement.

  “So...” I was desperate not to scare him off. “Are you like me?”

  “Yes, and no, it seems.”

  I noticed something then. I would’ve seen it sooner if I hadn’t been out of my mind on X.

  “Why don’t you have one of those cloud thingies around you?” I asked him.

  He turned and looked at me in disbelief.

  “‘Cloud thingies’? You can’t be serious.”

  “Do you know what I’m talking about? You do, don’t you!”

  He began to stand and I jumped to my feet as well. He looked up at the house, furrowing his brow.

  “Are your senses back now?” he asked.

  I knew he meant my special senses, and I marveled at how normal he made it sound.

  “I think so,” I said.

  “There’s a fight in the house. I think you’d better listen.”

  I stood up and stretched out my hearing. It was slower than normal and took more effort, but it finally broke through to the inside of the house. Yelling. Chaos. Punching and scuffling. Glass breaking, girls screaming, people shouting their names to try to break it up.

  “Oh, my gosh, Scott and Jay!” I took off as fast as my legs would go down the swaying dock. I couldn’t even concentrate enough to turn on my night vision, but I somehow didn’t trip or fall. I threw open the back door and roughly elbowed my way through.

  Three huge football players were dragging Jay out onto the front porch. He was flailing and yelling obscenities I’d never heard from him. I stopped in the doorway and looked around. The window in the front room was shattered. Girls were crying. Scott stood there in the front room, where the music and dancing had stopped and everyone was now watching. He held his nose, which was bleeding, as was his arm. His shirt was torn from the collar to the waist and was splattered with blood. He must have sobered up some, because I saw with my sixth sense how he felt now. Brittle, dark fear.

  Gene stumbled his way into the open space. His shirt was off, and by the looks of his girlfriend’s tangled hair they’d been occupied in makeout central.

  “Aw, man, my parents are gonna kill me!”

  “Party foul,” someone whispered in the crowd.

  “Gene,” said Scott, sounding whiny and nasal, “Jay went crazy! He came out of nowhere and sucker punched me. He threw me into the window! I think he broke my nose.”

  “Damn.” Gene rested his hands on top of his head and shook it back and forth.

  Jay began a fresh round of thrashing outside, kicking and screaming. The three big guys tightened their grips and hollered for him to calm down and stay still. I ran through the door and down the porch steps to him.

  “Jay?” He looked up at me with the eyes of a wild man I didn’t know. His cheeks were flaming red. He bared his teeth and panted through them. Two guys held his arms, and one guy stood behind him, grasping him around the chest. Jay stared at me until his breathing calmed and his fierce look softened into a pitiful sob.

  “He drudge you. Anna. Druvved you.”

  I knew what he meant. I nodded to the football players. “It’s okay, guys, thank you. I’m going to take him home now.” When they let go of him, he stumbled three steps backward and fell into a bush. That was going to hurt in the morning. I rushed to him.

  “Here, I’ll help you to the car,” said the biggest guy. I think his name was Frederick, a new graduate. The other two walked back into the house. Frederick got under one of Jay’s arms and lifted him, while I got under his other arm. Frederick had been a big defensive linebacker, so I didn’t feel any of Jay’s weight. We made our way into the darkness as music resumed inside the party.

  I glanced back at the house and turned on my extra sight, looking for any sign of Kaidan Rowe. Nothing. There was so much more I wanted to ask him. Most important, why were we like this? What were we? We. Oh, my gosh. Just the thought of someone else being like me sent a crazed bolt of energy through my body. I had to see him again. As soon as possible.

  When we got to the car, I fished Jay’s keys and cell phone from his pocket, leaned the passenger seat all the way back, and stepped aside while Frederick put him in. I thanked Frederick and he went back to the party. Jay was completely passed out. It crossed my mind that I could go back in and find Kaidan again, but what if Jay woke up? Plus, I didn’t want to deal with all the drama flying around.

  Instead, I pushed my hearing out to the dock and listened. It was silent. I focused my hearing around the house, scrunching up my face with the loud onslaught, and I said into the air, “I’m not finished with you, Kaidan Rowe.”

  From somewhere in the kitchen a solitary accented voice replied, “Likewise.”

  Despite the night’s warmth, I got a chill.

  After climbing in the car and adjusting the driver’s seat, I called Jana from Jay’s phone. She answered from a party of her own. She’d graduated the year before, but still lived with her family, commuting to college. When she learned of her little brother’s current inability to walk himself into their home, she cursed and said she would meet us there. Maybe we could get him in without waking their parents.

  What a mess.

  I was nervous driving on the winding road through the pitch-dark woods, even with my night vision. I kept seeing the eyes of little animals reflected in the headlights, sometimes darting across the road and making me slam on the brakes.

  It wasn’t until we were out of the forest and on a main road that I finally allowed myself to think about all that happened tonight. The more I thought about what Scott had done, the more upset I got. And I was disgusted at myself for enjoying it. I would have to deal with Scott eventually. I hated confrontation, but he couldn’t be allowed to get away with it. At least the school year was over and I wouldn’t have to face any of those people for a couple of months.

  But all of my anger toward Scott and embarrassment at my own behavior were overshadowed by the conversation with Kaidan. Just thinking about it made my heart race all over again. I couldn’t believe it. He was really like me. Which was what, exactly? He knew, of course. I wished I could have talked with him longer. I wondered how I could get hold of him.

  I supposed I could attach my phone number to a pair of my undies and throw them onstage at his next show. The thought actually made me laugh out loud. He’d probably take one look at the white cotton panties and chuck them in the trash.

  Jay stirred. He tried to say something, but it came out in one big slur.

  “What, Jay?” I used my soothing voice.

  “Gonna be sick!”

  Oh! I pulled the car over and leaned over Jay to fling open his door, which stuck, as always. I got it open just in time.

  We had to stop once more after that. Poor Jay. I rubbed his back as he closed the door and leaned against it. There wasn’t much else I could do. He began whimpering as we pulled into his neighborhood.

  “It’s okay,” I said.

  “No, it’s not. I don’t wanna be like Grampa Len.” His whimper turned to a pained moan.

  “Who? What do you mean?”

  He didn’t say anything else coherent after that. Jana stood by the curb with her arms crossed, ticked. I’d hate to be Jay tomorrow, for more reasons than one. Jana was hard-core goth and didn’t take any crap.

  She and I got him flopped onto his bed without waking his parents, and then Jana drove me home.
/>
  “What in the world possessed him to get so hammered?” she asked me.

  “The party was a little overwhelming.”

  “Wait, was this the one out at the lake? Even I heard about that party tonight. Must have been insane.”

  “It was crazy.”

  We were quiet for a few minutes.

  “Who’s Grandpa Len?” I asked.

  “Huh? Oh, he mentioned him? Yeah, that’s our mom’s dad. He was this raging alcoholic. To hear Mom tell it, though, he was the nicest guy sober. She was crazy about him. Everyone was. Then he would drink and it was like he had this evil twin. He hurt a lot of people. He battled his share of demons and eventually lost.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  OUT OF THE DARK DAYS

  It was already muggy and hot on our balcony at nine the next morning as I took a sip of my cocoa. There was no breeze, and the smell of cow manure wafted from a nearby pasture. Patti came out with her coffee and sniffed, crinkling her nose. She opened her paper and I opened my book. I couldn’t concentrate. Too much had happened at the party last night.

  I didn’t like thinking about the day of my birth, partly because it was unnatural to be able to remember that far back, and partly because I couldn’t make sense of it. I didn’t know how it should make me feel, and I didn’t want to feel the wrong thing, if that were even possible. But now that Kaidan had picked that scab, it was bleeding and needed tending.

  I called the time before my birth the “dark days.” Not because they were bad, but because being in utero was dark. It was like being cradled in a warm hammock at night. What I remembered most was the sound of my mother’s voice. She was singing the first time I was able to hear the warbled sounds. When I thought to try out my limbs, pushing out to meet the firm, smooth resistance surrounding me, she’d push back and laugh, which bounced me. Jonathan LaGray’s voice had been there during my dark days, too, booming gravelly and gruff.

  Being born was disorienting—too bright and too cold—but worst of all had been the feeling of having lost some sort of knowledge that had been commonplace during my dark days.

  I couldn’t see well with my filmy infant vision, but I remember the impact of the man’s eyes as they bore down on me that day. They were filled with some of the knowledge that I now lacked.

  Just say no to drugs, will ya, kid?

  I never knew whether the gruff man’s message to me had been serious or sarcastic. I’d never seen him again.

  I could still recall the nun, a wrinkled old woman who emitted a pure lavender peace. And Patti, standing over me with her hair falling around her face the day she came to get me. She nearly exploded with love when they placed me in her outstretched hands, as if I were a fragile gift.

  That was the only part of the memory I understood, and could therefore cherish freely: the moment I met Patti.

  I watched her now as she turned the page of the newspaper and hummed to herself. A train passed by on the hill through a scattering of pine trees.

  “I met someone who’s like me,” I said. The train blew its whistle.

  The newspaper slipped from Patti’s hands and fell to the floor in a crinkly swoosh. I was taken aback by the black storm cloud of emotion that billowed around her.

  “Patti?” I whispered.

  “Who was it?” The panic in her voice frightened me. She gripped the edge of the plastic table as if to steady herself.

  “I-I don’t really know him,” I stammered, “but I talked to him last night a little.”

  “Stay away from him!” She pointed at me for emphasis and stared with giant eyes.

  The phone rang inside the apartment as we watched each other. It rang again.

  “Get the phone,” she said. “I need to think.”

  I jumped up and ran in, answering on the third ring.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey,” said a weak and scratchy voice.

  “Jay? You sound terrible!” I sat down at the kitchen table and glanced out at Patti. She was sitting with her eyes closed, still holding the table’s edge, her posture rigid.

  “I feel terrible,” he said. “How much do you hate me?”

  “Don’t be crazy, Jay. I was just worried about you. Are you sick?”

  “I feel like I got hit by a Mack truck. I don’t remember everything, but what I do remember makes me feel like a jackass.”

  “We were lucky Jana helped,” I said.

  “Hmph. I paid for that one. She had me up at seven o’clock making her breakfast before she had to go to work. And I’m not talking about a bowl of cereal. I’m talking eggs and bacon and everything! I couldn’t even stand up straight.”

  I held in a laugh as I imagined it.

  “What do you remember?” I asked.

  “I got mad at you ’cause I thought you were high, so I started chugging a bottle of gin. Ugh. I can’t even think about it or I’ll get sick. Then everyone was coming up to me and asking if I heard about Scott slipping you a drug, and I just lost it. I only remember pieces after that, mostly me tearing through the place trying to find him. Pretty sure I knocked a few people over. Aw, man, I can’t friggin’ believe I got so wasted.”

  “Is that all you remember?”

  “Yeah. Why? What else did I do?” I looked over and saw Patti standing now, looking out at the trees with her arms across her chest. I kept my voice low.

  “There was a minor occurrence involving you, Scott, and a window.”

  “Oh, no. Are you serious? Is everyone okay? Did the window break?”

  “Yes, it broke, but everyone’s okay. Scott had some cuts and his nose was possibly broken, but I think you mostly hurt his ego. Don’t your knuckles hurt?”

  “Everything hurts. Aw, man. There go my summer savings. I need to call Gene and get that window fixed before his folks get back. But was it even true about the drugs? You definitely weren’t acting right when I saw you.”

  I paused. Yet another moment when I would’ve preferred to lie. “There was Ecstasy in my drink, and I was feeling it when you saw me, but the full effects didn’t stay with me, for whatever reason.”

  He let out a long, angry sound like a rumble.

  “Listen, Jay. I want you to let it rest for now. Please. Thank you for sticking up for me, but I don’t want you to go after him. I’ll deal with it myself when the time is right. ’Kay?”

  “Fine,” he grumbled to placate me. It hadn’t sounded believable.

  “Thanks,” I said anyway.

  “Hey, wait a minute,” he said. “What the heck was up with you and Kaidan? I was looking for you when I first heard the rumor, but someone said you left with him.”

  My tummy wobbled and I looked toward Patti again. She was seriously lost in thought. I whispered now.

  “Nothing was up with us. We were talking on the dock. He remembered me.”

  “Talking about what? I can barely hear you. Is Patti next to you or something?”

  “Yeah, sorry. I don’t know. We talked about drugs, and our parents. Trying to have a conversation with him is really difficult.”

  “You two are polar opposites, but it might be good for you. You could use a little fun.”

  “Oh, please!” I said, forgetting to be quiet for that one second. “It’s not like that. I can’t explain it.”

  “Do you like him?” he asked.

  “I’m... intrigued by him,” I confessed.

  “All right, all right.” He sounded happy. “That’s a start.”

  A start of what, I didn’t know, but I wanted to find out.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  IDENTITY

  Patti was acting so weird that I shut myself in my bedroom with my book. I would read a few sentences, then think about last night, then read more, then wonder what was up with Patti.

  She was not usually a hoverer, but for more than an hour she paced back and forth past my bedroom door.

  “Are you okay?” I finally called out to her.

  She came in looking sheepish, a nervous gray a
round her. She sat on the edge of my bed. I crossed my legs to give her room and my full attention.

  “Anna.” She cleared her throat. Her eyes were full of moisture and ringed in red. “The day I picked you up from the orphanage—no, let me go back further. This is all going to sound so strange.”

  She knew something about me! I grabbed her forearm, greedy for information.

  “My whole life has been strange, Patti. If you know something, please tell me. There’s nothing you can say that will scare me, or—”

  She let out a huff through her nose and shook her head. “Everything that I’m going to tell you will scare you. Honey, I’ve been scared for sixteen years.”

  I didn’t respond. I let go of her arm. The look on her face and the dark gray fear surrounding her made my heart thump harder.

  “You’ve always been a spiritual person, Anna, but I wonder how much you actually see—how much you believe.”

  “You mean God? I believe—”

  “I know. But what about... other spirits?” she asked.

  “Like ghosts?”

  “No. I mean angels.”

  My neck and scalp tingled.

  “Sure,” I said slowly. “I know scripture talks about angels up there—singing and trumpets and all that.”

  “It also talks about angels coming down here to earth. And demons, too.”

  “O-kay. I know that stuff happened back in the day, or whatever, but what does it have to do with us?”

  “You know I was married,” she said. I nodded, confused about where this was going. Patti stood up and paced the floor as she talked. “For three years we tried to conceive. He eventually went to the doctor and found out he wasn’t the problem. That was the beginning of the end for us. I prayed my body would be fixed and we’d be blessed with a baby, but months passed and I never got pregnant. Then one night I had this dream. Actually, I told my husband it was a dream, but I knew it was real.”

  She stood still and stared at me. I nodded again, wishing she’d just say it, whatever it was.

  “An angel came to me, Anna. He told me there was a baby waiting for me at a convent in Los Angeles.”