Deepest Scars

by Tricia Copeland

  “I saw Carlos hit. He did good.”

  “You’re not being anti-social, are you?”

  “No, the only people left at Brad’s are the really drunk ones. I hung out with them all afternoon and bailed at dinner time.”

  “How many people were there?”

  “Probably fifty total, but like ten at any given time.”

  “Meet anyone nice?”

  “They were all cool, but really intense. Rescue humor takes some getting used to.”

  “I bet.” I switch my phone to speaker as I crank the truck.

  “How are you?”

  “Beat.”

  “You’ve had an insane week.”

  “But it was fun. The date was great.”

  She tells me the highlights of the party, and I’m jealous those guys got to spend the afternoon with her. Even through my exhaustion, I find myself wishing she’d invite me over. At my apartment, I unload my stuff and grab some orange juice from the fridge.

  “I should let you sleep. We’ve got to be on the trail at six.”

  “Yes, I should sleep. I’m going to crash if I don’t get more than six hours soon.”

  “Okay, see you tomorrow.”

  “Looking forward to it.” I end the call.

  I miss her voice immediately but shake the feeling off and head to bed.

  Our hike meetup is uneventful, save me running interference between Josie and Liz. I realize Liz can hold her own halfway through, and give myself a break. My next task after basketball with Mitchell and the guys is sorting through photos from the trip for the wrap-up party. It takes an hour to pick out the best shots, edit them, and upload them to the group website. I decide to clean and run to the grocery store. By the time I’m done, I need another shower.

  As I dress, I notice a group text initiated by Liz. She’s invited Beth Anne and Cody, Isabelle and Jeff, and me to a museum the next day. Beth Anne and Isabelle already replied yes, and I do the same. Grabbing the fruit bowl and six-pack for my dinner contribution, I head out the door. I’m determined not to be late and arrive ten minutes early.

  Jeff answers the door. “You’re early. What’s up with that?”

  “Figured you guys could use some help. What can I do?”

  We pass through the empty kitchen, and I stow the fruit in the fridge. Jeff sticks the beer in the cooler. “This new leaf have anything to do with Liz?”

  “What do you mean, there’s nothing—”

  “Don’t even try that, bro.” He hands me a bag of charcoal, and we exit out the back. “The museum thing made it official. Plus, Beth Anne spilled to Isabelle. So, how did the date go?”

  “Good, really good.” I rip the charcoal bag open and fill the grill.

  “I’m happy for you, man.”

  “I think she wants to keep things on the down-low.”

  “Oh, totally.” He points to the house. “I’m making sure we have enough ice.”

  I spread the coals, douse them with lighter fluid, and set them ablaze. I scan the social media site while I wait for them to get hot.

  “Look at you, being all domestic.” Josie approaches. “We didn’t get to catch up this morning. How are you?”

  I accept a hug as she leans towards me. “Crazy busy with work, but good.” I spin and check the temperature on the grill. “Hey, this is ready. I should let Jeff know.”

  “I brought some veggie kabobs.”

  “Sweet.” I jog to the back door. Inside, Isabelle and Liz are arranging trays of food on the table. “Hi, I’m here to get the stuff for the grill.” I point outside, realizing Josie is right on my heels.

  Isabelle spins to face me. “The meat and kabobs are in the fridge.”

  “Great.” Even though every cell of my body wants to be with Liz, I move to the fridge. Josie trails me. “Oh, I got this, go have fun.”

  “The meat can’t touch my vegetables.”

  “So, I’ll put it on the top grate.”

  “I’ll help.” She shrugs.

  Now, I’m frustrated at being cornered. Once I get the meat over the coals, I head to the beer cooler.

  “Hot enough for you?” Liz reaches for a beer from behind me.

  I point to the sky. “Looks like rain.”

  “It will be bucketing down soon.” She smiles and winks.

  “Yeah.” I twist the cap on my bottle and take a long swig. I focus on her face. “How are you? What’ve you been up to today? Great idea on the museum thing.”

  “Thanks, but not much, just chores. I was kind of tired from yesterday, so…” She cocks her head.

  “Weekend party warrior, eh?”

  “I think I’ve recovered now.”

  I study her eyes. It’s awkward now that we’ve kissed. I want to kiss her again. “I’m looking forward—”

  “Zack, I think you need to turn the meat,” Josie yells from across the lawn.

  Forcing a smile, I point to the grill. “Duty calls.”

  “I’ll get a plate for the food.”

  “Thanks.” I dart off, wishing Josie would disappear.

  I open the cover, and the jump away as the heat waves off the grill. Turning the meat quickly, I stand back to let Josie inspect the veggies.

  “I have plates,” Liz calls from behind us.

  “Perfect.” Josie takes one from Liz.

  Josie heads inside, and I refocus on Liz. “So, I saw you talking with Josie this morning. Did you call her out?”

  “God no.” Liz rolls her eyes. “She doesn’t know I overheard her. It’s not worth it.”

  I knock the spatula on the grill. “I don’t like that she hurt you. It makes me really mad.”

  “Wow.” She hits my stomach. “Such a cowboy. I probably overreacted. Don’t worry about it.”

  “The old lady didn’t think you did.”

  “She could be a loony old bird. I could be a psycho for all you know.”

  “You’re right.” I bend down so our faces are inches away. “But I don’t kiss crazy people.”

  She bites her lip and takes a step back.

  “Is the meat done?” Isabelle stands on her toes, shielding her eyes from the sun.

  “Should be.” I lift the grill lid and inspect the cuts, transferring them onto the plate Liz holds out.

  Inside, Liz joins Isabelle in the kitchen, and I join the guys in the living room. Isabelle calls for everyone to get their plates. After loading up, I grab a seat on the hearth beside Beth Anne and Cody.

  “So, museum tomorrow? It was sweet of Liz to arrange it,” Beth Anne whispers. “Jeff said you told him the date went well.”

  I shrug. “Yeah, it did. I think Liz wants to get to know everyone better.”

  Jeff calls the group to order and we view some of the best pictures, and then discuss the trip highs and lows. Jeff takes suggestions on future outings. From across the room, I see Liz duck out the door. I figure it’ll be too obvious if I follow her, so I text once I’m in my car.

  HI, HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME TONIGHT. WISH WE’D GOTTEN LONGER TO TALK. LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW.

  She texts back right away. YEAH, ME TOO. TIRED TONIGHT. SEE YOU AT 9:40.

  K, I reply.

  The Native American art is new to me, and I enjoy the museum. Beth Anne, Isabelle, and Jeff seem to also, but Cody has trouble hiding his boredom.

  “Was that weird?” Liz asks as we reach my truck.

  “No, not at all. I had fun. Would you be up for lunch?” I close the space between us, leaving barely an inch of air.

  She pushes my face away and opens the door.

  “What did I do?”

  “I don’t know. Are you a stray cat?”

  “Where did that come from?”

  “At brunch yesterday, Josie said something like she thought you meandered from chick to chick.”

  “Dang. I knew I should’ve come with you guys. Josie doesn’t know me. I only moved here a month before you, remember? That’s the point to this.” I motion between us. “You go on a date, a
nd you get to know the person. Do you think I’m a stray cat?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugs.

  “How long have you known me? Two months? Do I seem unreliable? Have I ducked out of volleyball, work, anything?”

  “No.”

  “Okay, then, not a stray cat, right?” I bend down so we are eye to eye.

  She rolls her eyes. “I guess.”

  “Good.” I lean forward and kiss her. “Cause, I’ve been looking forward to that since Tuesday night.”

  “Everything about being new is hard,” she whispers.

  “I know.” I copy her volume. “I’m hungry. Where should we eat?”

  “I don’t know? What do you like?”

  “Anything.”

  “Okay.” I wrap my hand around hers. “I drive. You navigate.”

  “Seriously, you want me to pick a restaurant, randomly?” she asks as I slide in my seat.

  “Well, I’m assuming you’re checking reviews.”

  “Fine.” She retrieves her phone. She asks the AI to find the best restaurant in a five-mile radius. “Sushi?”

  “Works for me.”

  She turns the device on speaker, and I follow the directions. The place is packed but for the bar seating.

  “That okay?” I ask.

  “Sure.”

  The waitress comes, and we order drinks. Liz reviews how she thinks our group outing went, noting she thinks it to be an epic fail.

  “You’re being way too hard on yourself.” They set our drinks in front of us. “Here.” I hold mine up. “To a nice morning at a museum and our second date.”

  “Wait.” She wags her finger. “This isn’t a date.”

  “No.” I use my best puppy-dog eyes.

  “That’s not fair.”

  “I asked you, and we’re eating. Those were your two criteria, right?”

  She shakes her head. “Fine, to our second date.”

  Setting down the bottle, I point at her. “I still think this is the third, but my mother always told me a lady is never wrong.”

  “That would mean I asked you out first.”

  “I’m good with that.” I take another sip of my beer.

  The waitress comes, but we haven’t decided on our order. We’re ready the next time he approaches. We eat and talk for over an hour, and I barely notice the time passing. It’s nearly two when we exit the restaurant to the mid-day heat.

  “Does your car need washing?” I ask as I hold the door for her.

  “What is it with washing my car?”

  “I don’t know.” I start to close the door. “I think it’s my code for: do you want to hang out?” I wind around to my side and get in.

  “I guess we only have a couple of hours till the mountain bike ride,” she notes.

  “If you have something else to do, I don’t want to impose.”

  “No, I’ve already had two days off, so I did everything.”

  “Okay, your place or mine?”

  “You really want to hang out? You weren’t planning on working out or anything?”

  “I don’t have to work out every day.”

  “We could work out together.”

  Deciding to swing by her place and get her gear, I turn onto the highway.

  I wonder if I’m putting all my eggs in one basket with Liz, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I like being with her. Back at my place, we make our way to the gym. We don’t have to wait long for a machine and take turns spotting each other. I notice her checking her watch half an hour in.

  “You getting your heart rate up enough?” I ask.

  “Oh, yeah, that’s not what this is for. Riding is cardio, right?”

  She insists on showering at the gym, so I follow suit. In my apartment, we cut some fruit and cheese and snack at the bar.

  “So, what were other options for things to do in Phoenix?” I ask.

  She pulls out her phone, and we review the list.

  “Hey, we’ve done like four of the top twenty. We’re not doing bad.” I rinse the plates and put them in the dishwasher.

  “The musical museum is really highly rated. But it sounds cheesy.”

  “Let me see.” I lean down to look at her screen. “Maybe we can catch a concert there. Wait, it’s Labor Day already? Ugh.” I slap my forehead.

  “What?”

  I don’t want to ask her about San Diego again, so I deflect. “I forgot to call my mom.”

  “Call her. I’ll wait outside.” She starts to get up.

  I grab her arm and slide my palm down to her hand. “I’ll do it later.”

  “Okay.” She shrugs. “Are you off tomorrow?”

  “Yep, how about you?”

  “It’s Monday, I’m working.”

  “Dang. This Frank Lloyd Wright thing looks cool.” I point at her screen.

  We move to the couch and continue to investigate area locations. Then, I type in best things to do in the Southwest. The top hit is a balloon festival in Santa Fe.

  “This looks really cool.” I angle the screen so she can see it better.

  “I’ve always wanted to go up in one of those.”

  “That would have to be a long weekend trip. It’s seven-and-a-half hours.”

  Her watch dings. “How far is it to the trail?”

  “Half hour.”

  We take turns changing in my room and make our way down to the parking lot. My phone rings, and I see it’s my mom. “I’m about to defer the call when Liz picks up my phone and puts it on speaker.

  I glare at Liz. “Hi, Mom. I’m in the truck with—”

  “Zack, where have you been? I left messages.”

  “I know. Sorry, busy with work, and then had a lot of events this weekend. How are you?”

  “Well, I was worried. You know there are scorpions in Arizona. Would any of those events be dates? Have you called your aunt Heather yet? I’m sure she would be happy with you bringing a friend. David hinted there might be a girl you like. Something about a—”

  My face flames with embarrassment. “Hey, Mom, I’m on my way to a ride, can I call you back?” Seeing Liz snickering, I shake my head at her.

  “That must mean David does know something. It works to my advantage that you tell on each other.”

  “What do I tell you about him?” I raise my shoulders as if she were right in front of me.

  “Nothing, you tell me nothing, which is very frustrating.”

  Rolling my eyes, I wonder if she realizes we’re not ten anymore. “We’re grown men, Mom.”

  “A mother should have certain privileges.”

  “Okay, but I have to run now, I’m on my way to this ride.”

  “The mountain biking, yes Dana told me about that. Isn’t it dangerous?”

  “It’s fine, Mom.” I tap the steering wheel wishing she would end the conversation.

  “Okay, well, call me later. You know I’m up late.”

  “I will, Mom, love you.”

  “Love you too.” I end the call and glance Liz’s way. “What was that about?”

  “You should answer when your mother calls. You told your brother about me?”

  “Maybe.” I cut my eyes to her and back to the road. “Big mistake, obviously.”

  “So, I guess I wouldn’t mind a six-hour trek across the desert if it means I get to see the Pacific Ocean.” Liz folds one leg under the other.

  “You want to come?”

  “Yeah.” She nods her head as if she’s trying to convince herself. “You were still going even if I didn’t come, right?”

  “I probably would fly, but yes. You’re not doing this because you feel sorry for me, are you? Have you ever been to a Rosh Hashanah celebration?” I check her facial reaction.

  “You’re trying to dissuade me now?”

  “No, making sure you have full disclosure. My aunt is as bad as my mom when it comes to being nosey.” We pull into the parking lot and find a space. I turn to face Liz. “But I think it will be fun. There are these ka
yaking tours into coastal caves and a ferry to Coronado Island.”

  “So, you’ve been there?”

  “Nope, my aunt moved there last year. I did some research.” I shrug and grab my water pack from the back seat. I pause as our faces are inches apart. “So, you decided you like me?”

  “I enjoy spending time with you, and I’d love to see San Diego.”

  “Ditto.” I kiss her quickly and duck out of the car.

  “You knew I would be mad about that.” Her face is red as she meets me at the bikes.

  I cut my eyes around the parking lot. “We’re early. No one’s here.”

  “Your bachelor, I’m-late-to-everything vibe is going to be ruined.”

  “I don’t do that. I’m a busy guy. I was on time for our date. But, if you must know, I’m comfortable with that.” Unlocking the cord, I lift my bike and then hers to the ground.

  “Jeff seems to think it’s your signature.”

  “Whatever.” Rolling my eyes, I follow her to the trailhead.

  We talk about Rosh Hashanah and what she can expect at my aunt’s house. Jeff and Isabelle arrive as well as a few others. I get some razzing from Jeff about still being with Liz, but at least he keeps it low key.

  The ride takes a lot of muscle, and I work hard on the long incline. At the top, I stop and wait for Liz.

  “You don’t have to wait for me. Go.”

  “It’s not just you. I’d wait for anyone I was concerned about.”

  “You mean anyone who you think is going to have a heart attack.”

  “You’re the one with the heart rate monitor.”

  “Touché.” She turns over her wrist. “I’m good. Let’s hit it. I’ll race you down.”

  Before I can bat an eye, she darts down the mountain. The muscle spent on the climb makes the downhill sweeter, and we speed to the next uphill stretch.

  “That was an awesome trail,” Liz exclaims as she pulls her helmet off when we stop.

  “This is one of my favorite trails in the area,” Jeff comments.

  Dismounting, I take a long sip of water. “I could do that again. We should come back here.”

  Jeff pulls out his map and shows us all the trails on the preserve. I take a picture with my phone, so I can look it up online. Liz and I wave goodbye and make our way to my truck. I hear crunching gravel behind me, and Josie approaches on her bike. “You guys carpool?”