Bittersweet

by Jannine Gallant

  His arms tightened around her, and he tugged lightly on her hair to tilt her head. His hungry mouth found hers in a kiss that consumed her. With teeth, tongue, and lips he claimed her as his own.

  He released her abruptly, and her heart plummeted. What was wrong?

  He sat on the edge of the bed and tugged off his boots, his expression strained. “I have to get these damn pants off before I burst a seam.”

  Relief erupted in giggles. “Do you need some help?” She reached for his waistband, and her hand brushed the swelling beneath the cloth. He jumped.

  “You’d better let me. As badly as I want you, if you touch me again it will be over before we begin.”

  She stood back and watched him yank off his pants and drawers. When he stood naked before her, she admired his broad chest and flat stomach. Her gaze drifted lower, and she caught her breath. Daniel was definitely aroused. She licked suddenly dry lips and raised her eyes. His hot gaze seared her soul.

  He reached for her, and they fell together onto the bed. Their legs intertwined, and her hair spilled in a silken curtain about their faces. His mouth greedily sought hers while his hands stroked her back and cupped her hips, bringing her tight against him. His fingers discovered the damp heat at her core.

  “I can’t wait, Tess. Next time I promise it will be slow, but right now I have to have you.”

  “I’m ready.” Anticipation filled her. “I’ve wanted this for such a long time.”

  He entered her with a hard, swift stroke then held perfectly still, gritting his teeth. When she moved restlessly, he drew back and plunged into her again. She whimpered and wrapped her legs around his hips, her nails digging into his back. Their bodies met again and again in an ageless rhythm. She clung to him as she tensed and shattered. His seed poured into her.

  Damp with perspiration and sticky with the residue of their lovemaking, they clung together. Gradually her heartbeat slowed. Limp and exhausted, she lay across Daniel’s chest. He stroked her hair and stirred inside her.

  She raised her head and looked at him in wonder. “After that, how can you possibly have the energy?”

  He smiled and brought her hand to his lips, kissing her palm. “You inspire me.”

  “Does this mean I have to move?”

  “Not if you don’t want to. You can stay right there on top.” He grinned wickedly. His hips rocked gently, pushing more fully into her. Her passion flared anew.

  “Maybe I can move after all.” She sat up astride him and rose and fell with the force of his thrusts, picking up his rhythm.

  His eyes were heavy with desire as he looked up at her. He filled his hands with her breasts, stroking them until the peaks stood up proudly. She rode him, excited almost beyond bearing.

  He groaned, and his face contorted. “You don’t know what you do to me.”

  Her words came out in a gasp. “The same thing you do to me.”

  “Stop when you’re tired, and I’ll finish it.”

  She shook her head. He grabbed her hips and gave a final thrust.

  “Oh, Daniel. Dear Lord.” Her body quaking, she dropped on top of him, burying her face in his neck. She lay still, too spent to move.

  When his chest shook, she smiled lazily. “What’s the joke?”

  “I’ve never been mistaken for our heavenly Father before.”

  She pinched his arm, and he yelped. “That will teach you to make fun of me.”

  “I wasn’t making fun.” His fingers kneaded the tight muscles in her back. “I was laughing with the sheer joy of knowing I can bring you pleasure.”

  “Did you have any doubt we would be perfect together?”

  “Well, a man never knows, especially when he isn’t the lady’s first.”

  Tess was silent. She could feel his heart beating against her ear. Finally she lifted her head and looked down at him.

  “Daniel, let’s talk about this now and put it behind us.”

  “Talk about what?”

  “I was married to your brother. I was with him before I was with you. Are you worried I will be forever comparing the two of you?”

  “I hope not.”

  “Well, I wasn’t. The thought never crossed my mind, not once.”

  “I’m relieved, and I’m sorry I said anything.”

  “I’m not, because it was bound to come up eventually. Rory was my first love, and what we had together was very special.” She smoothed the tiny worry lines near his eyes. “But it was no more special than my love for you. You’re unique. You’re the man I love now.”

  “Then I won’t let it concern me. I’ll rejoice in the fact that you’re mine for the rest of our lives.”

  “And you’re mine. We belong to each other.”

  “I’ve always been yours. Can we talk about Rory for just a minute longer?”

  “Of course. He’s a part of us both, not a subject to be avoided.”

  “I know, but there are more appropriate times. For my own peace of mind I have to ask. Do you really think he would have been pleased about the two of us together?”

  She smiled. “I really do. He loved us both so much. He would have wanted us to find fulfillment. Think, Daniel, the farm meant the world to him. Together we’ll make it flourish.”

  “Yes we will.”

  “And there’s Emily. There is no one Rory would have trusted more to act as her father.”

  “I will be a good father to her. I promise you that.”

  “You already are. You give her your time and your love. You’re wonderful with her, Daniel.”

  “I couldn’t love a child of my own more than I love Emily.”

  “I know. That’s part of why I adore you so much. You’re a generous and giving man.”

  He smiled and reached over to turn down the lamp. The flame flickered and died, leaving the room in darkness. He settled her in his arms and sighed.

  Tess relaxed against him, drowsy and content. “We should sleep. Emily will wake up early.”

  “I don’t have to work in the fields tomorrow. It doesn’t matter if I’m tired, and I would hate to waste one minute of our night together.”

  “I feel the same way,” she said but couldn’t hold back a yawn. Eyes closed, she pressed her nose against his chest. Happier than she’d been in a long time, she drifted off to sleep.

  * * * *

  In the early hours of the morning, Tess woke abruptly. Daniel’s arm lay heavy across her chest, and she was nestled into his side. When she heard a faint cry from the other room, she eased out of the bed and padded across the sitting room to the second bedroom. Emily sat on the big bed, crying.

  “Hi, sweetie, did you wake up and no one was here?” She lifted the baby into her arms. Emily pressed her face against Tess’s neck and sighed. A moment later she squirmed and cried again.

  “I guess you’re hungry.” She carried her into Daniel’s room and slipped into bed. Her daughter quieted immediately and began to nurse.

  “Tess,” Daniel said in a sleepy voice.

  “I’m right here. Emily woke.”

  “Is she all right?”

  “She’s nursing.”

  Daniel moved up close against her back and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her cheek and reached across her to stroke Emily’s head.

  “I’m glad you brought her in with us. We’re a family.”

  She smiled, thankfulness for this man nearly overwhelming her. No one could be more loving than Daniel. No one would make a better husband and father.

  As the dark of night faded into early morning gray, she drifted back to sleep. Emily was still asleep when she woke. With care not to disturb her, she turned and found Daniel watching her.

  “Good morning.”

  He leaned down and kissed her, his lips lingering on hers. “It certainly is. It’s a very good morning.”

  “Emily is still asleep.”

  “I see that. Will she stay that way if we move her?”

  “Now, why would we want to do that?” Tess teas
ed. “Do you have something in mind unsuitable for her tender sensibilities?”

  “I do.” His hand moved under the covers, stroking her breast.

  Her breath seized in her throat. “I’ll try to move her.” She crawled over Emily and slid out of bed. Carefully she lifted her and carried her from the room. She laid her on the bed in the other room, covered her with a light blanket, and hurried back to Daniel.

  “Did you miss me?” she asked as she slipped beneath the quilt.

  “I certainly did.” He pulled her up against him. “Can you feel how much?”

  “It would be hard not to.” She felt a little shy as his erection prodded her leg. Getting used to this side of Daniel was a new and delightful prospect.

  “Have I told you yet how much I love you?” he asked, burying his face in her hair.

  “Not this morning, you haven’t.”

  “Then I’ve been remiss. Let me show you instead.”

  Unlike the night before, his lovemaking was unhurried and thorough. He kissed every inch of her body. Again and again he brought her to within a hair’s breadth of fulfillment and stopped. Mindless with desire, she begged for completion. When it came, it rocked her to the core of her being.

  “Some day I’m going to do that to you,” she said when she was finally able to speak.

  “Is that a promise?”

  She looked into his loving eyes, and her voice was husky with emotion. “It’s a promise.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  Tess closed her eyes and smiled when his lips nibbled her ear. She snuggled against him, happy beyond reason. “Do we have to get up today?”

  “I’m afraid so. I think I hear Emily stirring.”

  Her eyes popped open, and she cocked her head to listen. She extricated herself from his arms. “She’s definitely awake.”

  “It’s time we got up, anyway. I’m starving.”

  “I am, too.” Tess slipped her chemise over her head. “I’ll feed Emily while you dress.”

  “I won’t be long.”

  Tess brought Emily into the sitting room to nurse and settled into a corner of the settee. She listened to Daniel washing up in the next room, heard him strop his razor, and pictured him sliding the blade through the thick lather on his face. It was a homey image, one that made her feel as if they really were a family.

  When he entered the sitting room his jaw was smooth, his hair damp and neatly combed. Without speaking, he sat beside her. Picking up her hand, he squeezed her fingers. Emily turned her head to look at him and pulled away from Tess’s breast.

  “I didn’t mean to disturb her.”

  “You didn’t. She’s had enough.”

  “Shall I hold her while you dress?”

  “She needs to be changed.”

  “I think I can manage it. Show me where her diapers are, and I’ll have her dry in no time.”

  While she dressed, Tess listened in amusement as Daniel struggled to pin a fresh diaper onto the squirming baby.

  “Help me out here, sugarplum. I can’t pin your diaper if you won’t hold still.” Emily squealed. “Let’s try again.”

  Tess brushed her hair and fastened her long braid to the back of her head before he finished the task.

  “It’s not as easy as it looks,” he said. “I have a new respect for mothers. I thought she would just lie there.”

  She laughed and took Emily from him. “Not this one. She likes to move. Let me dress her and we’ll go.”

  They ate a huge breakfast of pancakes and eggs, holding hands over the table and bumping knees beneath it. She forked bites of pancake into Emily’s mouth and occasionally into her own. When the baby yelled, she glanced over and saw she had poked her in the nose.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie.” She wiped Emily’s face and kissed her. “Your Mama is being silly.” She couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stop looking at Daniel. His smile and the sparkle in his eyes warmed her heart.

  “You’re acting like a woman in love,” he said.

  “That’s because I am.”

  “I see you’re wearing your ring.”

  “This one feels perfect on my hand.”

  “It will look even better when there’s a wedding band next to it.”

  Tess looked down at her hand and turned it so the diamond caught the light streaming through the window. “You’re right. When will I be getting that band?”

  “We should talk about it. If you’re through, let’s take a walk.”

  Tess pushed aside her plate and stood. After untying Emily’s bib, she lifted her from her chair. She stood at the restaurant’s front window and watched the people passing on the street while Daniel paid the bill. She pointed at the horses and buggies driving by. Emily pressed her hands against the windowpane and stared.

  “Shall I carry her?” Daniel asked.

  “If you don’t mind. She does get heavy.”

  They walked west through town to the very edge of the city where they had an uninterrupted view of rolling foothills. Still farther to the west, the Rocky Mountains towered high above them in majestic splendor.

  Tess looked up at the mountains. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

  “Yes,” he answered, his gaze on her face.

  A light wind blew her dress about her ankles and whipped tendrils of hair into her face. She brushed them back and turned to face him, full to bursting with happiness. Daniel groaned.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I was thinking about the endless days you’ll make me wait to marry you.”

  “I don’t want to wait, either. We’ll plan our wedding for the end of the harvest.”

  “I knew it. That’s weeks from now.”

  His impatience pleased her, and she smiled at his woebegone expression. “We’ll be too busy before then, Daniel.”

  “In that case I’ll definitely hire Isaac to help with the harvest. Time is of the essence.”

  They walked on until they came to a field where a few late blooming flowers grew. Daniel set Emily down to play in the grass and pulled Tess into his arms. She leaned against him and turned her face up invitingly. His lips touched hers and lingered.

  “I had a dream once about the two of us in a field like this,” she said. “We made love beneath the stars.”

  “Don’t say things like that,” he whispered in her ear.

  She bit her lip. “Am I too forward?”

  “Never. I love knowing you want me as much as I want you. But it makes me want to rip your clothes off and take up where we left off this morning.”

  She smiled. “Fulfilling my dream may have to wait.”

  “I’ve waited long enough.”

  “We both have. Our waiting is almost over, Daniel.”

  He squeezed her hand. “Let’s walk back into town. Yesterday, I promised to take you shopping.”

  She kissed his cheek. “That’s an offer no girl will refuse. Up you go, Emily,” she said, hoisting the baby into her arms. “Maybe we’ll buy you a little something to bring home from Denver.”

  Enthralled by the window displays in the downtown shops, she could have spent hours looking, but they had a train to catch. Daniel bought a rag doll for Emily with a real china head. The baby clutched it tightly as they walked on.

  “My goodness, have you ever seen such a fancy dress?” Tess paused beside a shop window. “Look at that hat. With all those feathers, I’m surprised it doesn’t fly away.”

  “Buy it if you want.”

  “Now where would I wear silk and satin in Eagle Valley?”

  “You could wear it at our wedding.”

  “Mama and I will make my wedding dress. What about you? Should you get a new suit?”

  “I’ve hardly worn the one I have. I don’t need anything.”

  “We’re a fine pair, thrifty to a fault. We have the money from the sale of Uncle John’s house, and all we bought is a doll for Emily.”

  “Don’t forget your ring.”

  “I couldn’t possibly.” S
he admired the diamond. “You bought me a gift. I want to give you one in return.”

  “Agreeing to marry me is the only gift I want.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it just above her engagement ring.

  Tess smiled and blinked back tears. When she had her emotions under control, they moved on. They hadn’t gone far when she stopped abruptly in front of a window displaying a painting of the ocean.

  “Oh, Daniel, look. Can you imagine anything so vast and grand?”

  “Water as far as you can see.”

  “Wouldn’t it be something to ride the railroad all the way to San Francisco? I would like to see more of the world.”

  “Then we will, Tess. We’ll do it together.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Buoyant with happiness, she imagined the future they would share.

  Emily was fast asleep on Daniel’s shoulder when they reached the hotel.

  “Is she missing her nap?” he asked.

  “She doesn’t appear to be.” Tess studied her daughter’s flushed cheek resting against his neck, loving her child and the man who held her.

  They packed while Emily slept. By the time they were ready, the baby was awake.

  “Do I have time to nurse her?”

  “Of course. We’ll have a quick dinner and be on our way.”

  Tess settled down on the settee with Emily, and Daniel took a chair opposite them. Feeling a little shy, she unbuttoned her dress and put the baby to her breast.

  “I’ll have to wean her soon. She takes milk from a cup when she’s in the mood.”

  “It seems a shame. I feel as if I’m witnessing something holy.”

  Tess glowed. “There will be plenty of opportunities in the future. I want Emily to have lots of brothers and sisters.”

  “Now there’s a project I’m happy to work on.”

  She laughed. “I’m pleased to have your full cooperation. We can get started just as soon as we’re married.”

  “I wasn’t planning to wait that long.”

  Her cheeks heated beneath his regard, knowing he was remembering her passionate response to his lovemaking. When Emily finished, she buttoned her dress. “Shall we go?”

  He grabbed their bags. “Unfortunately the train won’t wait, and I’m too hungry to go without dinner.”

  Downstairs Daniel turned in their room key and paid their bill. They ate a quick meal at a restaurant on the way to the train station and arrived at the depot with a few minutes to spare. Far on the horizon, Tess saw a puff of smoke and heard a long, low whistle.