Protect Me

by Alexis Winter

  And for now, I’ll accept that. But it’s my goal to make him see that he wants more from me, from us. I know the difference between a hookup and the beginning of something. And this is one epic beginning, even if he doesn’t see it.

  Tyler and I take turns trying to make each another beg all night long. Neither of us falls asleep until the early morning. When I wake, the sun is low in the sky and shining through the blue curtains covering his bedroom window. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I find that it’s nearing five a.m.

  I expect to roll over and find him gone—like last time—but when I roll to my left side, he’s lying there, eyes focused on the ceiling above us. He turns his head, eyes locking on mine, and pulls me to his side, his hot, needy mouth finding mine.

  I kiss him back, wanting and needing to feel the tingle of his touch. In the blink of an eye, he’s rolling on top of me, and my arms lace around his neck, pulling him closer.

  No words are exchanged between us. We don’t need any. We’ve known one another a while, but we don’t know everything. And we don’t need to. Already, I can tell that he’s hiding a piece of himself away from me. I know that he’s been hurt in the past and he’s now trying to keep me at arm’s length, no matter how much he wants me. The way he touches me, kisses me, and moves inside me forcefully but gently, I know how much he needs me. Even if he’s not ready to admit it to me or to himself.

  I promise myself that I won’t push him—that I’ll let this go on between us, giving him what he will accept until the time comes when he realizes it for himself. I don’t know how I know, but I know he’s it for me, and I for him.

  It feels like a warm ray of sunshine is now lighting up my soul, like I finally have a glimpse of happiness—a promise of the future I’ve been longing for.

  Yep, Tyler is the man I’ll marry one of these days, and I can’t wait for him to realize it too.

  It’s going on seven a.m. when we finally manage to pull away from one another. We dress, and he takes me back to the main house. When he puts the truck in park, he looks over at me and I see the nervousness written on his face.

  “You…umm…want to get together later, after I finish work for the day?”

  A smile automatically stretches across my face. “I’d like that.” I nod. “I close up the clinic around five.”

  He shoots me a breathtaking smile. “I’ll see you tonight, Amy.”

  “I can’t wait.” I open the door and climb out, refusing to look behind me as he parks the truck next to the barn and climbs out to get to work.

  I let myself into the house and rush up the stairs to get ready for the day.

  Chapter Seven

  I make it to the clinic at nine a.m. on the dot. I quickly rush inside, disarming the alarm and starting up everything. As I’m working my magic with the coffee pot, my cell phone rings from my back pocket. I quickly pull it out and examine the screen. It’s Vesper.

  Nervousness washes over me. I still haven’t told her about my first random hookup with Tyler, and now I’m staying at his place and making love to him all night long. I know she’s with Liam, and happy and about to get married, but I still feel like I’m betraying her in some way. She did go on a date with Tyler once. I wonder if she’ll mind, even though, deep down, I know she shouldn’t.

  I swipe the screen and put the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Amy. What’s up? How was your first night at the house?”

  “Oh, uhh…” I push my hair behind my ear, needing to keep my mind off my nerves. “It was great. How was yours? Where’d you end up?”

  She giggles. “We’re in Paris! Can you believe it?” Excitement and happiness lace her words.

  “That’s amazing. I remember that summer when you did nothing but plan out the places you’d visit in Paris if you ever got lucky enough to go.”

  “And we’re going to do it all.”

  I walk back behind the desk and take my seat. “How are the wedding plans coming along?”

  I practically hear her roll her eyes. “We’ve been too busy with traveling and getting settled to really discuss anything. But I wanted to call and check up on you. See how your night was. See if you did anything fun.”

  “I…umm…well…”

  “Just spit it out, Amy.”

  “I didn’t actually stay there,” I admit.

  “Oh, where’d you stay?”

  “The hunting cabin.” I wait for her to laugh or start yelling.

  “Oh my God. Are you serious?” She sounds surprised, but not excited or mad.

  “So, I may have forgotten to tell you about when Tyler and I ran into one another at the bar here in town. I brought him home and we had an amazing time.”

  I hear the click of a door shutting. “Amy, how could you have forgotten to tell me that?” she whispers.

  “Well, when I woke up the next morning, he was gone, so I wasn’t all that excited about it. I hadn’t seen him since. But last night, I ran into him at the ranch and he invited me over for dinner, and I ended up staying the night.”

  “This is amazing, Amy. I’m so happy for you!” she practically cheers.

  “Really? You’re not mad or upset?”

  “No! Why would I be?”

  I start pacing while twisting the ends of my hair around my fingers. “You had that one date with him, and I know he sort of had a thing for you.”

  “That wasn’t a date. It was just two people going out to become better friends. Seriously, Amy, this is great news. I’m so happy for you. Is it serious?” she asks.

  I shrug like she can see me. “I don’t know.” I shake my head to clear it of the thoughts that are speeding through my mind. “I don’t know what this is. He told me that he isn’t a relationship type of guy, but I feel like he’s holding himself back, like maybe he’s been hurt in the past and he’s trying to keep from getting hurt again or something. Right now, we’re just having fun.”

  “Well, for his sake, I hope he comes around and sees how special you are. You deserve to be happy.”

  “Thank you, Vesper.” I feel my shoulders and back start to relax.

  “I love you, Amy.”

  “Love you too. Call me and check in every so often so I know you’re safe.”

  “I will. Bye.”

  I pull the phone away from my ear and sit back down, the nervousness fading away as excitement slips in.

  It’s going on six by the time I pull back up to the ranch. I park my truck and step out, finding Tyler off in the field with the horses. I lean against my truck, crossing my arms over my chest as I gaze in his direction, left completely breathless by the way he moves while he plays with the horses. With the setting sun casting an orange glow, he runs around the field, tossing toys that the horses chase or catch. He comes to a stop at the fence, chest heaving as he bends down and picks up an apple to feed to the horse. He rubs her nose and pats her neck with a big smile on his face. It leaves my heart pounding in my chest while my lungs scream for me to breathe.

  My feet start moving before I can even think about what I’m doing. Just as I’m stepping up to the fence, he turns to face me, offering a wide smile that causes his eyes to light up.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi.” I smile back as I step up onto the bottom rung of the fence and reach out to pet the horse. “Who’s this?”

  Tyler pulls her closer and pets down her neck. “This is Coco. She’s my girl, aren’t ya?” he asks her.

  My mouth drops open. “I thought I was your girl!”

  He laughs as he steps closer to me on the other side of the fence. “You are—you’re my no-strings-attached, sexy-as-hell girl.” He presses his lips to mine, and I’m completely lost…even if his comment left a bit of a sting. I don’t want to dwell on it at the moment, so I lose myself in his touch instead.

  A light drizzle forces us to pull away, both of us looking up at the sky.

  “I have to get her into the barn before it starts pouring. Can you grab this bucket?”
He kicks the bucket on the ground holding apples, carrots, and a couple toys.

  “Sure.” I bend down and climb through the fence.

  Tyler holds on to Coco and starts leading her toward the barn while I grab the bucket and follow along behind them.

  By the time we make it across the field, heavy clouds roll in and burst open, pouring sheets of rain down over our heads. We both run toward the barn, Tyler stopping to open the door while I rush inside with Coco at my side. When he steps in, he puts her back in her stall and turns to me. His navy-blue t-shirt is wet and sticking to every hard muscle adorning his chest and stomach.

  Just the sight of him in front of me has my mouth dry. His dark eyes seem to be deepening their shade and I try to hold back the need coursing through me.

  I let out a nervous laugh and look down to find my white shirt clinging to my body. I pinch the fabric between my thumb and index finger, pulling it away. But it snaps right back. I look up at Tyler, and his eyes are glued to my chest. His jaw ticks and I can see him swallow as he walks closer, eyes locked on mine.

  “Amy, I…” he breathes out.

  Before he can say anything else, I wrap my arms around his neck and jump into his arms, pressing my lips against his. He catches me, holding me close against him as he walks us across the barn. I don’t even know where he’s going until I feel my back press against the wall. With my legs wrapped around his hips, he breaks the kiss long enough to pull his wet shirt from his body and I do the same. Our naked chests press together, warming me.

  Due to the cool rain mixed with the chill of the spring weather, I’d been on the verge of shivering. But now with his skin against mine, my heart pounding with excitement, I feel like I could combust at any second.

  His hands move to unbutton my jeans and mine do the same. This isn’t slow and controlled. This is fast and full of excitement and desire—both of us amped up on the high the other creates.

  As the rain pounds against the tin roof of the barn with the sounds of thunder as it rolls over the top of us, he pushes into me, claiming me, owning me, controlling my heart and mind with only his body.

  My wet hair clings to the both of us and our heavy breathing fills the barn. But I can’t hear anything other than my heart pounding in my ears…and him. Each gasp, whisper, and moan that escapes his lips pushes me further over the edge.

  Even though neither of us seems to be in control of our bodies, this time it feels different. It’s fast, but it’s also gentle. It’s hard, but it’s also passionate. He’s not taking. He’s giving. He’s claiming. He’s loving.

  His callused hands massage my hips, working their way higher up to my breasts. His mouth consumes mine, his tongue twisting with my own. I can taste rain and sweat on his skin. When he pulls his mouth away from mine and litters my neck with kisses and soft nibbles, I shatter around him, and my sounds of pleasure only make him thrust into me with more force than before. He grinds his hips against me, rubbing that perfect softness inside of me, and I can’t do anything but cling to him for dear life.

  It feels like I’m on a merry-go-round. But instead of me being the one spinning, I’m completely still while the earth spins out of control around me. My ears ring, my lungs burn for oxygen, and my heart pounds crazily. When he jerks his hips against me one last time and lets out a deep moan, I’m finally allowed to breathe. I suck in a big breath as the barn around me stops spinning. He holds me close, resting his head in the crook of my neck while he regains his composure.

  When he pulls back, he lets out a soft laugh and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to attack you.” He can’t hold back his boyish grin. His thick, dark hair is soaked with rain, and it hangs in his dark eyes. Seeing him this way, unable to control himself around me, being carefree, makes my heart race even harder.

  I smile as I look at him through hooded eyes, unsure of what to say. “What do you say we go get cleaned up and find some dinner, huh?” I want to ask why this time felt different, but I don’t. I want to know if it felt different for him too, but I don’t want to push him. I’ll gladly take whatever he’s willing to give, and hope that I don’t end up hurt when things are over.

  Tyler is it for me, and I know how stupid that sounds. Even though I know it, I still don’t quite believe it. I’ve never been the I’m going to marry this man type of girl. I was always the cool party girl who didn’t get attached. But there’s something addictive about Tyler, something that won’t let me just have a good time and walk away. But if he’s as closed off as he warned me he is, I don’t see how it could work out. I know I can’t change him or force him to be the one I need.

  As I pull my wet clothes back on, a sadness settles over me from realizing this. I want to be happy and not fight my love for him, but I should listen to his warning…for my own good. I don’t want to be the girl who was warned and didn’t listen—the one who ends up with her heart broken in the end. When things end, I just want to be happy they happened to begin with.

  “Hey, you okay?” Tyler asks as he picks up his wet t-shirt and wrings it out.

  I force a smile. “Of course.” I fasten my jeans. “Come on. I’m pretty sure Vesper left out some ribs we can throw on the grill.”

  Tyler follows me into the house, and as soon as we walk in the back door that leads into the kitchen, the cat jumps up onto the counter, meowing.

  “Hey, buddy. Are you hungry?” I rub his head.

  “I’ll feed him. You can go ahead and get some dry clothes on before you catch a cold.”

  I look at him from over my shoulder and offer up a smile. “Thanks. I’ll be right back down in a sec.” I leave the kitchen and head upstairs to the guest room. As I towel off and dig around for some dry clothes, I grab my phone and call Vesper.

  “Amy? What’s up?” She sounds groggy and it’s only then I remember the time difference.

  “Tyler and I just had sex in the barn,” I admit.

  She laughs. “Hey, Liam?”

  “Yeah?” I hear him say from somewhere in the background.

  “When we get back, make you sure delete the video of the barn without watching it. Okay?”

  He lets out a deep belly laugh. “Consider it done. I have a feeling there’s something I don’t want to see on that tape.”

  “Okay, sorry, Amy. I’m not sure what to say. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?”

  “Ugh, I don’t know, Vesper! That’s what I’m saying. I mean, I like Tyler. I mean, I really, really like Tyler, but I should listen to his warning, right?”

  She waits, thinking it over. “I think you should forget everything and just have fun. See where things end up.”

  “But what if he doesn’t change his mind and I end up with a broken heart?”

  “Love doesn’t come easy, Amy. It’s a chance. Sometimes things work, and sometimes they don’t. But I do know that you won’t get anything you want by playing it safe.”

  “So you’re saying I should ignore his warning?”

  She lets out a soft laugh. “I’m saying just be yourself. He’ll never be able to turn you away if he’s allowed to fall in love with my best friend.”

  A smile takes over. “Thanks, Vesper.”

  “Love you. Now go have fun. But not in my bed!” she adds on.

  I laugh. “Gross!” I pull the phone away from my ear and hang up. Tossing it down onto the bed, I head back downstairs to find Tyler moving about the kitchen.

  “You cooking for me again?” I ask, leaning against the island in the center of the floor.

  He shrugs as he pulls out the rack of ribs and places them on a cookie sheet. “I figured I’d man the grill and you could handle the inside stuff.” He pulls out a bunch of seasonings to prepare the ribs.

  “Sounds good to me. How about some wine?” I take down two glasses and reach under the island for the wine fridge.

  “Sure. I’m going to go out and start the grill. I think I’ll head home and change into some dry clothes while it’s heating up. I’ll see
you in twenty?”

  I nod with a weak smile, trying to keep myself closed off so I don’t get hurt, but also excited that I get to spend another evening with him.

  He moves toward the door but stops briefly to press a soft kiss to my lips. His thumb lands on my chin with the rest of his hand underneath to direct my lips to his. This kiss is soft and slow and feels like unspoken promises—promises that could hurt me in the end.

  He pulls away and quickly rushes out the door without a look back. I find myself dizzy, my head spinning, causing me to lean against the counter. A deep sigh leaves my lips. I hope Vesper is right.

  I pull myself from my thoughts and set to work on finding things to add to our dinner. I wrap a couple potatoes in some aluminum foil to throw on the grill, and I grab everything I’ll need to make a salad.

  While my hands are busy with chopping, my mind drifts off to everything going on in my life right now. That’s when I realize that I still haven’t spoken with my mom. With another deep sigh, I grab the home phone and dial her number. The phone rings once before being cut off by an error message.

  I hang up. “That’s weird. Maybe I dialed the wrong number.” I try again, but I get the same message. Then it hits me: the phone is probably shut off since I’m not the one making sure everything is getting paid. I roll my eyes and shake my head as I place the phone in the stand and go back to my salad.

  Chapter Eight

  Tyler returns just as I’m placing the salad in the fridge to stay cool. I turn around when I hear the door open, and the sight of him stops me dead in my tracks. I fully take him in: backward baseball cap covering his rich chocolate brown hair, dark eyes shining with happiness, his tight black t-shirt that clings to his biceps, and a snug pair of faded jeans that can’t help but direct my attention right to his groin.

  He laughs as he slowly stalks up to me. “What’s the matter, Amy? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He stops directly in front of me, his chest nearly touching mine as he lifts his hand and tucks a stray hair behind my ear. His strong scent washes over me. It’s clear that he showered, because he no longer smells like sunshine and wet earth. Now he smells of rich cologne and a deep woodsy scent that’s all his own.