by Tony Wilson
‘Sorry, Scoot,’ Adam said. ‘You’ve gotta be a hundred and forty centimetres. You’ll have to sit this one out.’
Scott unleashed a mini-tantrum. ‘Oh, I can do it. I’m nearly there. They won’t check!’ Scott was prancing on his toes like a ballerina. ‘See! Pleeeeease! Please, Mum.’
Mum was having none of it. She grasped his hand. ‘They make the safety rules for a reason, sweetheart. Why don’t we go and get an ice cream? We might even have a splash together in the wave pool.’
Joel barely dared to look up at Twister. He stared at the plastic surfer dude instead. If only he was under the height, too! Then he’d have an easy out. He watched jealously as Scott trudged off with Mum for ice cream and the wave pool.
If only he could go with them. But the twins were already in the queue, and they’d give him heaps if he chickened out.
Joel reluctantly edged forward with Adam and Troy. As they climbed the concrete stairs he felt himself shivering. The wind was chillier up here. He stared at his feet. He barely heard a word of what Adam and Troy were saying. Something about cooked pineapple on pizzas. I just have to get through this, Joel thought. It was like in footy when the ball gets kicked over your head and you have to run back with the flight — no matter who might be coming the other way.
Except it wasn’t like that. Joel actually loved that feeling. Joel felt in control on the footy field.
He didn’t feel in control now.
They reached the platform at the top. Every half-minute or so a light would flash and a buzzer would sound and two more screaming Twisters would disappear into the blackness. There were four people in front of them, then two. Then it was Adam and Troy’s turn.
‘See you at the bottom, Joely!’ Adam yelled, as he took off.
Joel watched them go. Could he race down the stairs and reach them that way? Maybe they’d be so excited after their ride they’d forget to turn around and look for him? Maybe he’d get away with it?
It’d take too long. They’d be flying out the chute at any moment.
‘Next two!’ The attendant called them into position. Joel sat down and took hold of the take-off bar. He glanced sideways. The woman next to him had wet, grey hair and a huge grin. She reminded Joel of one of his favourite teachers at school. He gritted his teeth. Old people were doing it. He had no choice. Of course he could make it.
The attendant explained the safety instructions. Lie down the whole way, don’t slide head first. Wait for the buzzer.
That unhelpful buzzer would sound any second now.
Bzzzzzzzzzzzt! And Joel was released.
He could hear the woman shrieking in the darkness, as they twisted around and around, above and below each other. Joel’s stomach leapt into parts of his body where it had never been before.
Water filled his eyes, his nose, his mouth. He didn’t make a sound. He just closed his eyes and prayed for it to be over.
Eventually, it was. Twister spat him out into a pool at the bottom, where Troy and Adam were waiting for him.
‘Joely! Unreal! How good was that!’ cried Adam.
‘We’ve gotta go again!’ Troy grinned.
Dad was at the end of the exit pool, applauding his three sons. ‘Why don’t we go to the wave pool first?’ he said. ‘I told Mum we’d catch up for lunch.’
The twins groaned but Joel could have kissed him.
He’d done it. He’d actually made it down. And nobody knew just how much he’d hated it.
THIRTEEN
Joel also coped with Sea World, for the most part. He didn’t like the Pirate Ship, with its giant swing into a near vertical position, but again, he closed his eyes and got through it.
The twins and Scott begged to go on the Corkscrew, but the queue was enormous because of the school holidays.
‘You’ll miss the dolphin show at two-fifteen,’ Dad said.
The boys were allowed a choice. Queue for the Corkscrew, or see the dolphins. Scott was ruled out again because of his height, and Joel gave a jabbering explanation of how much he liked dolphins.
The twins were happy to be allowed the freedom to go alone.
Joel actually did love the dolphins. It might have been his alibi to get out of going on the Corkscrew, but it was quite true. Dolphins could fling themselves out of the water, eight metres in the air, higher even than a Gary Ablett speccy. They could somersault. They had ball skills. His favourite bit was when one of the women from the stunt team waterskied behind the boat, standing on dolphins.
‘Hey, Dad, they look like strong boogie boards,’ Joel said. ‘Maybe invest in some dolphins next time.’
‘Ha-ha, very funny,’ Dad said. The boys had been hanging it on him all holiday about his bargain boogie boards.
At the exit to the show, they met up with the twins. Adam and Troy couldn’t stop raving about the Corkscrew.
‘The queue’s shorter now, Joely! If you want to go on, we’d definitely do it again!’
Joel didn’t say anything. Fortunately, there was a 3D film about pirates beginning in ten minutes. They saw that. Then they did a lap of the park on the Sea World monorail. The view was just spectacular. There was so much colour and activity around the park. From that height, they could spot the outlines of sharks, rays and dolphins in the exhibit pools. Beyond, the sunlight danced on the ocean, making the most beautiful sparkles.
It was getting late. Joel had had a great day. He thought he might be home free.
He hadn’t thought he’d have to worry about Mum.
‘Maybe we should do one of the fast rides?’ Mum suggested. ‘I mean, as a family. Let’s line up for Lassiter’s Lost Mine. I think Scott’s tall enough to do that one.’
This was greeted with an enthusiastic cheer. Lassiter’s Lost Mine was definitely a roller coaster. It wasn’t as full on as the Corkscrew, but Joel had seen the size of that final drop and had vowed to stay away.
His brothers sprinted out of the monorail station and headed for the Lassiter’s queue. Joel walked quietly with Mum and Dad.
‘You just made it,’ a grinning attendant said when they caught up with Adam, Troy and Scott. ‘You’ll be our last riders today.’
‘How lucky’s that!’ Adam said.
Joel clenched his jaw and remained silent. He couldn’t betray his fear. Not even a flicker of his mouth. Imagine what fun the twins would have if he pulled out of something Scott and Mum and Dad were doing?
The wait was as tedious as the queue was long, although not long enough for Joel. They inched forward, towards his destiny. From up close, he could hear the rattling cars and the screams. A Wild West cowboy announced through a mini-speaker that they were ‘in for the ride of your life’.
The carts took six people. Three rows of two — a perfect Selwood-sized cart. The twins fought with Scott over who would ride at the front. Joel slipped his hand into Mum’s. She led him to the rear.
The attendant snapped the safety bar closed and Joel felt a cold panic descend.
Even the first uphill climb was too steep! An electric winch was dragging carts sixty metres into the air. If they went that far up, they had to come down. Through gaps in the Wild West exterior, Joel could see flashes of carts travelling at ridiculous speeds.
Then there was the final drop.
‘I feel sick!’ Joel said to Mum. He tried to stand up on the ride. His legs couldn’t budge the safety bar. He tried to lift it with his hands.
‘Joel, no!’ Mum said. ‘You can’t get off! We’re moving!’
Mum had her arm around his shoulders, holding him down. Joel wriggled. If he could shake a tackle from Trainwreck, he could shake a tackle from Mum.
‘I’m getting off, Mum, I’m jumping!’
‘Joel!’ Mum shouted desperately. ‘Calm down!’
Now the other boys could hear what was going on. They glanced around and saw Mum almost bear-hugging Joel to keep him in his seat. The ride shifted up a gear. Joel could see now that jumping would be extremely dangerous. They had reached
the big uphill climb and the winch caught the cart with a jerk. Joel slumped against Mum and felt tears welling in his eyes. The ride click-clacked as they commenced the climb. The twins’ attention returned to straight ahead. Joel wasn’t wriggling now. The moment for escape had passed.
The roller coaster combined everything Joel hated about speed and heights. He heard the wind and the happy screams of his three brothers. The whole way Mum gripped his arm and said, ‘You’re okay, Joely, you’re going to make it, it’ll be over soon.’
Wild West figures popped out along the way and said things like, ‘That’s foooool’s gold’ and ‘Stick ’em up, paaardner,’ but Joel saw none of them. He had his head buried in Mum’s shoulder, crying tears of pure fear, the whole way.
When it finally ended, the boys staggered out of the cart. The ride was nearly deserted except for the family in front of them. They were the final riders for the day.
Mum helped Joel from the cart. He felt wobbly on his feet. The other boys were bouncing around and squawking at a million miles an hour.
‘So cool!’
‘Brilliant!’
‘How good was that last drop!’
After a decent debrief, Adam asked what had happened at the start of the ride. ‘Did Joel freak out?’
Mum answered for him. ‘No, he was fine. He was just feeling a little off after the fast food you boys have been eating.’
They walked to the car.
Two theme parks down, Joel thought. One to go.
FOURTEEN
‘Where’s Joel?’ Scott asked. The youngest Selwood’s gaze was turned skywards as it had been for nearly an hour, watching the daddy of all Gold Coast roller coasters — the Lethal Weapon ride.
‘Yeah, where is Joel?’ Adam asked. He was rocking from foot to foot, still pumping with adrenaline from riding the only suspended looping roller coaster in Australia.
‘He was behind us in the queue,’ Troy said. ‘Mum and him dropped back a bit when Joel ducked off to use the toilet. But he should be through by now.’
Another shrieking carriage soared overhead. Scott again cursed his height. If only he could have strapped in, too. Just like Twister, the minimum for the Lethal Weapon ride was one hundred and forty centimetres.
‘Shall we keep waiting?’ Adam asked. ‘They’ve been ages.’
Scott waited for Dad to answer, but he didn’t. Eventually, Dad picked up their daypack and said, ‘Let’s walk around for a bit. Mum and Joel will catch up with us, I’m sure.’
They began exploring Movie World, the third and final theme park on their three-day pass. They wandered Main Street, which had the look and feel of an olden-days movie set. At the far end, they saw superheroes in tights and capes on a stage doing a terrible dance called ‘The Macarena’.
‘That is pretty sad,’ Adam said, as Batman wiggled his hips and sang, ‘Ohhhhhh Macarena’.
‘Poor Green Lantern,’ Troy added, taking photos. ‘It’s tragic — so tragic it’s hilarious. Joel needs to see this. Where is Joel?’
‘Yeah, where is Joel?’ Scott parroted.
Dad said nothing. They wandered on. Scott checked the show times for the Hollywood Stunt Driver Show. It read, ‘next show 1.40 p.m.’, but it didn’t mean much to Scott because he couldn’t really tell the time that well. Not ones that weren’t ‘o’clock’.
Adam and Troy rattled off the list of roller coasters they’d conquered over the three days. Then they started ranking them, best to worst.
‘The Lethal Weapon ride was definitely the best,’ Troy said. ‘That was just full on!’
‘For sure,’ agreed Adam. ‘Joel’s probably finished it now, too. Do you think, Dad? Shall we go back to meet him?’
‘Where is Joel?’ Troy asked again.
Dad mumbled something about catching up with Mum and Joel later. They approached an area called the Warner Brothers Kids Zone. There were Sylvester and Tweety Bird dodgem cars, a splash play area, including a giant bucket, an animal-themed carousel and the Looney Tunes Junior Coaster.
After the eighty-five kilometres-an-hour juggernaut that was the Lethal Weapon ride, the Junior Coaster looked as safe and tame as an old family labrador.
Scott stared at it forlornly. Those annoying height restrictions meant the Junior Coaster was pretty much the only roller coaster he could ride. He watched the single carriage roll tamely down the decline. Then he saw something incredible.
It couldn’t be.
He squinted and placed a hand up to block the sun.
Joel?
‘Hey, guys! Look! It’s Joely and Mum!’
The twins spun around, searching the walkway behind them. ‘Where?’ asked Adam.
‘No!’ Scott said. ‘There! On the baby coaster!’
It was true. At the very front of the Looney Tunes Junior Coaster, Mum and Joel were gripping the bar, grinning their way around a gentle turn.
The twins pointed and hooted.
‘It is Joel!’ Adam shouted, doubling over with laughter. ‘We thought he was on Lethal Weapon!’
Troy collapsed into hysterics, too. ‘Toot toot! Look at it go! This is priceless!’
‘Do you think he was over the height restriction for that ride?’ Adam teased.
‘Boys!’ said Dad. ‘Enough! It’s perfectly fine not to like fast rides. Joel just doesn’t like them. I happen to not like them either! Leave him alone.’
‘Understand, Dad,’ Troy deadpanned. ‘Absolutely. We wouldn’t dream of making a big deal out of it. But hang on while we pull the camera out and gather the photographic evidence.’
Troy snapped photos as Adam yelled big demonstrative ‘woohooos’ for their junior-coasting brother. As the carriage disembarked, Joel spotted them. His smile disappeared.
He walked off the ride and straight past Adam and Troy.
‘Hey, Troy,’ Adam said, loud enough for Joel to hear. ‘I think we might have found Joel’s kryptonite.’
‘Yes!’ Troy laughed. ‘I knew we’d find it in the end.’
Scott joined in the high fives, even though he felt a little sorry for Joel. It wouldn’t feel good to be afraid of heights. Still, one of the rules Scott had learned about being a little brother was that if someone else was copping it instead of you, then you kept your mouth shut so they didn’t turn on you.
‘Who would have thought?’ Adam giggled. ‘Joel’s kryptonite. Can’t do scary rides.’
Mum was hot on Joel’s heels. Scott sensed she wasn’t happy, especially with the twins. She went past them a few metres and then turned around and took a couple of strides back. ‘Scary rides aren’t a bad kryptonite to have!’ Mum said. ‘Not many of us spend that much of our lives on roller coasters!’
That shut Adam and Troy up for a moment. Mum walked away.
‘She may have a point,’ Adam said.
Troy shrugged. ‘Maybe. I dunno. Don’t really care. I’m still gonna hang it on him.’
FIFTEEN
It felt like the drive back went so much quicker than the drive there. Certainly, the mood in the car was different. Mum and Dad had decided to do the whole Mermaid Beach to Bendigo shebang in one long eighteen-hour marathon — sharing the driving load to give each other rests.
The boys gave each other a rest, too. It was a quieter, more subdued car this time. They shared the Game Boys and did a whole lot less talking. It wasn’t that Joel felt sad to be going home. He was actually looking forward to seeing his Bendigo friends, and Sally, their dog, and Tommy O, and kicking the footy on the tennis court each day. The twins had said pretty much the same. They wanted to play in the Shepparton tennis tournament the next week and get stuck into their preseason training.
Joel didn’t call his footy practice ‘preseason’. People would think it weird if they heard a nine-year-old talking about preseason. But that’s really what it was. He wanted to get fitter and stronger and better than he’d been as an Under 10. He wanted to dominate Under-12s footy next season, even though he’d only be ten. He wanted to train as
hard as the twins were doing, and set himself on a path to his ultimate dream — playing in the AFL, ideally for Geelong.
It didn’t have to be Geelong. He’d be happy to be drafted anywhere.
Please though, could it be Geelong?
They spotted some funny place signs again — Pullabooka (‘Hey, that sounds like Pullabooga, get it?’), Urana (‘Hey, that sounds like Uranus, get it?’) and Cowabbie. At some point, Mum let them have fast-food burgers, just so they could keep moving.
‘Write down the date!’ Adam said, sucking on a thickshake. ‘The day Mum was defeated by the convenience of fast food!’
Joel laughed and so did Dad. Joel didn’t much like the pickle in his cheeseburger.
The long day was stretching into evening when the Falcon crossed onto Victorian soil. All four boys were asleep when it turned into their street at twenty-five minutes to midnight.
When Dad shook Joel awake they were inside the familiar Selwood garage, filled to overflowing with bikes, tennis racquets and sporting equipment.
‘Home, sweet home, boys,’ Mum said.
‘That actually didn’t seem to take very long this time.’ Joel yawned, which made Mum and Dad laugh.
‘It was plenty long enough for me,’ Mum said. ‘I vote we unload the car in the morning.’
They stepped out of the car and Joel saw Dad give the Falcon a little pat on the bonnet. ‘Got us there and back safely,’ he said, like he was congratulating a favourite pet.
Scott, who looked like he was still half-asleep, gave Mum’s legs a hug. ‘Thanks for the holiday,’ he croaked. ‘It was soooo fun.’
The other boys joined in, in chorus.
‘Thanks, Mum!’
‘Thanks, Dad!’
In the garage in Bendigo, just before midnight, they had a family hug.
‘Can we do it again soon?’ Joel asked. ‘It was the best, best time.’
‘I’m glad,’ Dad said, patting his head. ‘It was fun, wasn’t it?’
Then they went inside for hot chocolate and bed.