Marriage Mayhem

by Samuel L. Hair

  “You’re a bitch, a coward, and a muthafuckin’ punk, Jermaine! You’re always talkin’ about callin’ the fuckin’ police to come handle your situations. You know why, because you’re not a goddamn man, that’s why. A real man would handle his own business, and a real man wouldn’t get white folks or police involved in his business. Oh, but I forgot, you aren’t a real man, you’re a pussy!”

  “I guess you would rather me beat the hell out of you than call the police, huh? I know that you’re used to niggas beating the shit out of you, but I’ve got too much to lose, and you’re not worth going to jail over.”

  “Fuck you, and double fuck you, you black, fat, punk muthafucka! I hate you, Jermaine. I wish you’d die tonight! Better yet, I wish you were dead already! Fuck you, fuck your mama, fuck your dead daddy and brother, and fuck your dead daughter! I hate all y’all muthafuckas.”

  “Why you gotta bring my family into this? This is between you and me, so leave my family out of it.”

  She then got out of the shower and began drying off. Suddenly, she decided to try reasoning with him.

  “Okay, Jermaine, let’s talk about this sensibly. First of all, I’m sorry that your son got taken away from you because of me. You’re right, I should have told you that I had been to prison many times, but I just didn’t want to lose you, Jermaine. Losing you would be like committing suicide, and that’s the way I felt.” She then began crying. “I didn’t want to lose you, Jermaine. I didn’t want you to think of me as a bad person and not give me a chance. I know that I’ve done a lot of bad things in the past, but I don’t do those things anymore, Jermaine. You’ve helped me change my life, baby. Because of you I no longer have the urge for crack, and because of you my self-esteem has been restored. You gave me a shot at a normal life and I don’t wanna lose you, Jermaine. Please, don’t make me go, please. I’m not ashamed to say that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I just feel that there’s no me without you. I can’t go on without you, Jermaine. The kids love you and look up to you. I don’t want to ever have to put another man over my kids. I’ve already lost one son, and I don’t wanna lose the other, so please don’t make me and the kids leave,” she begged, and then continued.

  He stared at the ceiling while listening.

  “I admit to having a secret affair with Maria, but I didn’t mean you any harm. She could never sway me away from you, Jermaine. Never. It’s not like I’m having an affair with a man and having a dick inside me. She only fulfils the areas that you aren’t capable of fulfilling. That’s it. But if you want me to, I’ll end my relationship with her right now. She’s not worth me losing you over.”

  Standing naked in front of him, she had the sudden urge to hug him, which she did, and then she began kissing him. Being tempted once again by her nice round, smooth ass, and by the bush that covered her pleasure box, Jermaine responded in rhythm to her kisses. He then picked her up and carried her to the bed, and hurriedly got undressed.

  After giving him some keen head and a good, long, pleasurable ride, he had forgotten about everything that had taken place. Afterward they fell asleep in one another’s arms.

  It had only taken one court date with the evidence that was presented for the Siordias to be granted custody of Jermaine Jr. Realizing that he was in a no-win situation, Jermaine accepted the verdict and also accepted the visitation terms of being able to spend one weekend out of the month with his son.

  Chapter 26

  Three months later, instinct led Jermaine to believe that Karen had not been paying the two bills that he had given her to pay, simply because each time he asked her whether or not she had paid them she would always get angry and began cursing.

  His instinct was confirmed one day after calling Southern California Edison and the gas company. After conversing with representatives from both companies, Jermaine discovered that Karen had not paid either bill in three months. In addition to that, final notices and disconnection dates had been mailed out from both agencies. Using his bank card, he paid both bills and apologized to the representatives for the delinquency.

  Knowing that Karen made a little over eleven hundred a month from her job, Jermaine did not understand why Karen had not been paying those two bills. He had questioned her the last three months as to why she would only give him two hundred and fifty dollars, or basically whatever she wanted to give him toward the mortgage, when the agreement was for her to pay four hundred a month, but as usual she always had an excuse.

  “The kids needed this, and the kids needed that. They didn’t pay me for all the hours I worked. I didn’t get my welfare check because I forgot to mail in my monthly form. My check got deposited into my checking account, but the goddamn bank hasn’t made the funds available yet. Some company has been debiting my account that I don’t even know.” She was the master of excuses.

  Later that day, Jermaine received a call while working that had caused him to take off early.

  “This is Mr. Coleman from Page Financial. I’d like to speak with Mr. Hopkins, please.”

  “This is Mr. Hopkins, how can I help you?”

  “This call is an attempt to collect a debt, Mr. Hopkins. You’re three months behind on your monthly payment, and—”

  “What the hell are you talking about, man? I pay all my bills on time, sir, and I’m not behind on a damn thing.” Jermaine instantly got frustrated.

  “Mr. Hopkins, I have a signed contract in front of me where you promised to pay a total of one hundred and forty-one dollars a month on the fourteen-hundred-dollar loan we financed for you. I—”

  “Man, are you crazy! I haven’t asked you or anyone else to finance a damn thing for me!”

  After a lengthy conversation with the finance manager, Jermaine discovered that Karen had taken out a fourteen-hundred-dollar loan in his name. She had the finance company fax her an application, and using Jermaine’s information she completed the app and then forged his signature and sent it back. She had also faxed a copy of his driver’s license, Social Security card, and had sent recent copies of Jermaine’s check stubs, reflecting his income as being a little over five grand a month. The finance company released a check the following day, payable to Jermaine and Karen Hopkins.

  After the truth was revealed, Jermaine and Mr. Coleman continued talking.

  “What I don’t understand, Mr. Coleman, is how in the hell did you guys cut her a check without my presence? How can you just give someone fourteen-hundred dollars and never see them?”

  “That’s easy, it happens every day. She’s your wife and as long as you and her are living together and she has pertinent information about you, your presence is not necessary. If you two were not living together, then that would be a total different thing.”

  “Well, you guys need to change that law, because that’s stupid. She stole my identity and used it to get a loan without my knowledge, and you’re telling me that there’s nothing I can do about it?”

  “If I were you, Mr. Hopkins, I’d press identity-theft charges on her, that’s about the only thing I can tell you.”

  “If I decide to do that, since she committed a fraudulent act against your company as well as against me, will you press charges on her as well?”

  “For now, Mr. Hopkins, like I told you in the beginning, this is an attempt to collect a debt.”

  “Has this shit gone on my credit report?”

  “Nope, but if I haven’t received payment within forty-eight hours then I have no other choice but to report this to collections.”

  “Damn! If it ain’t one thing, it’s another.”

  Wanting to get to the bottom of this right away, Jermaine left work early that day. While driving he began thinking. What in the hell is wrong with that woman? She’s trying to fuck up my credit because her credit is fucked-up. I gave her two small bills to pay and she can’t even pay them. I asked her to give me four hundred dollars a month toward the mortgage, and she can’t even do that. And now she’s taken out a loan using
my identity. I wonder, is she back on crack again? Or maybe she’s giving money to another man, or maybe even another woman. I don’t understand it, I really don’t. I don’t deserve this. She crossed the line fucking with my credit, and that’s it. This is the last time she’ll ever have a chance to fuck me. Now it’s my turn to do the fucking.

  He continually called Karen from his cell phone, and even attempted several times to two-way her, but she did not answer the phone. She should be home, he thought, and then sped up a little.

  Seeing her car parked in front raised an eyebrow. Why wasn’t she answering the telephone?

  He called for her upon entering his home, but still she did not answer. As he walked up the stairs he heard voices and the television set, but when making it to the top of the staircase he saw that his bedroom door and the door to Alexus’s room was closed. Still hearing the voices, he eased open the door to his room and witnessed his wife lying naked with her legs wide open while Maria was downtown licking her pussy. An X-rated movie of two women making so-called love was on the television screen.

  “What the fuck?” Jermaine yelled.

  Karen and Maria turned and looked at him.

  “What are you doing home?” asked Karen, in a state of shock. “You’re supposed to be—”

  “Ain’t this about a bitch! Both of you, get the fuck out of my house!”

  Jermaine’s yells had awakened Alexus and seconds later she came out of her room and appeared next to him. She stared wide-eyed at her mother and Maria lying naked, and then she began staring at the movie.

  “Alexus, go back to your room, okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” said Jermaine.

  Stevie had left for school a couple hours earlier.

  Maria was pissed off and decided to take it out on Jermaine.

  “I told you before that she’s mines and she’ll always be mines. Whatever you do for her and to her, I can do better, you fuckin’ asshole!”

  “Get the fuck out of my house, you pussy-eatin’ bitch!”

  “Apparently I eat pussy better than you, because I’ve got your wife!” Maria shouted. She then climbed out of bed and began getting dressed.

  “You just can’t do right, can you, Karen?”

  “Like I told you the other day; at least I’m not fuckin’ another man.”

  “As a matter of fact, don’t you go anywhere, Karen, because we’ve got a lot of shit to discuss.”

  “He just wants some pussy, that’s all, and you better not give him any, Karen. I’m sick and tired of making love to you behind him,” said Maria, then stormed out of the room, and then out the front door.

  Karen had slipped on her panties and bra and sat at the edge of the bed holding her head down, thinking about how was she going to explain this one.

  Jermaine took the stage.

  “Lord knows that I did my best to trust you, to love you, and to believe in you, but once again you’ve let me down, Karen. You’re cruel, deceitful, and you’ve proven to be an unappreciative bitch. Regardless of what I just busted you doing, you haven’t paid the gas bill or the light bill in three months and you forged my name on a goddamn loan document and got fourteen-hundred dollars from Page Financial.” He stood nodding and continued.

  “I can’t trust you anymore, Karen, and I want you out of my house and out of my life.”

  “I didn’t forge your name on a damn thing, Jermaine. Don’t you remember when I told you that I was applying for a loan and needed your information?”

  “Don’t even try it, Karen. Do you honestly think that I’d forget about something like that? As hard as I worked to get my credit A-one, do you think that I would forget giving you my information and forget you telling me that you’re applying for a damn loan? I don’t think so. You’re a liar, and you’re full of shit and deceit.”

  “You must have amnesia or you’re suffering from CRS.”

  “What the fuck is CRS?”

  “Can’t remember shit!”

  “Whatever, Karen. I’m filing for an immediate divorce, and this time I’m as serious as a heart attack.”

  “Fuck you, Jermaine. If you ever try to divorce me, I am not signing a goddamn thing. And as far as me leaving, I ain’t goin’ nowhere! Fuck you, you black-ass, out-of-shape, coward muthafucka! I wish you were dead, punk! Matter of fact, I’m going to have a few gangbanger friends of mines come and kick your ass! It’s only gonna cost me a dime bag of weed and it will be my pleasure seeing them fuck you up. If you do happen to initiate a divorce, I’ll make sure that you live a miserable, fucked-up life. You know what, I’m gonna have somebody kill you, yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do! Watch your back, muthafucka, and watch your front too, ’cause you’re definitely getting fucked up!” she threatened, and then began getting dressed. Hearing enough of her foul mouth, Jermaine disappeared out of the room and went downstairs and began thinking. Minutes later he left.

  His first stop was the courthouse in hopes to get an urgent, instant restraining order. It had practically taken him the entire day to get an emergency restraining order granted, but the good thing about it was that his patience had paid off.

  Jermaine had revealed to the courts that Karen was extremely violent, that she was on psych meds and under the care of a psychiatrist at Palmdale Mental Health, and that she had an extensive criminal record that he had recently discovered. He also told the Judge that he feared for his life because of her threats. Without hesitation, the judge granted Jermaine’s request for a restraining order against Karen.

  His next stop was the police station where he asked to speak with a sergeant. After waiting a few hours, finally a Sergeant Brady appeared in the lobby. Jermaine felt that if he explained how Karen had used his identity and forged his name on loan documents that would be enough to have her arrested, but the sergeant told him different.

  “Wives do this sort of thing everyday, Mr. Hopkins. If you two were separated then that would be a total different story, but that’s not the case here.”

  “Regardless of whether or not we live together, Sergeant, I did not give her permission to use my identity or sign my name on any documents. I’ve been in court all day to get this restraining order on her, and I want her out of my house at once.”

  “As far as arresting her for identity theft, I can assure you that won’t stick. However, hearing the urgency in your voice, we can exercise this restraining order and remove her from your home. Momentarily, we’re dealing with a lot of nine-one-one calls, and the majority of them are domestic violence calls, so more than likely, we won’t be able to accommodate your request anytime soon,” explained the sergeant.

  “Well, how soon can you send out an officer, sarge? I’m dealing with a violent career criminal on psych meds, and I know that some shit is gonna go down when I get home.”

  “The way things are going around here, Mr. Hopkins, I’d say anywhere between midnight and five in the morning.”

  “Damn. I thought that this emergency restraining order would have some type of bearing on this.”

  “Most times they do, but not on a day like today.”

  “Okay, but if I get home and she goes crazy on me and stabs me or maybe even kills me, that’s an open window for a lawsuit, sarge. You guys can’t say that I didn’t warn you.”

  “If she goes berserk on you, Mr. Hopkins, then call nine-one-one and we’ll immediately respond. That’s the only thing I can tell you other than to not go home.”

  Jermaine then left the police station.

  His next stop was at a place of business called the Divorce Clinic.

  Since Jermaine and Karen did not have any community property or no kids together, initiating the divorce was simple, but costly.

  “I don’t believe that it only cost me forty dollars to marry her and it’s costing me fourteen-hundred dollars to divorce her,” Jermaine had said to the agent.

  “Thank God you don’t have any kids or property together. Believe me, Mr. Hopkins, it could have been a whole lot worse.

/>   “Here, man,” said Jermaine, handing the man his debit card. “I don’t care how much it cost, I just want her out of my life.”

  “Do you think she’ll sign and just keep this thing real simple?”

  “She’s already told me that she wasn’t going to sign, and being the stubborn bitch that she is, no, she probably won’t sign.”

  “There’s always more than one way to skin a cat, Mr. Hopkins. After you complete this paperwork I’ll take it to the court and file it, and we’ll take things from there.”

  “Let’s do it,” Jermaine said, and then proceeded with the paperwork.

  When Jermaine made it home Karen and the kids were asleep. He did not bother awakening them.

  After eating some leftovers, he turned on the television and then made himself comfortable on the sofa, impatiently waiting for the police to arrive. Minutes later he fell asleep. It had been a long, tiresome day for him.

  The sound of the hard rain and thunder awakened Jermaine. He had been asleep for close to three hours, and the police still had not came yet. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was a little after midnight. He tried holding his eyes open, but had soon fallen back to sleep.

  At 2:30 a.m., hard, continual knocks on the front door instantly awakened Jermaine.

  “Who is it?” Jermaine asked, nearing the door.

  “Sheriff’s department! Open up!” shouted an officer.

  Jermaine sighed and then opened the door. The sergeant that Jermaine had spoken to earlier had already briefed the officers about exactly what was going on at the Hopkins residence.

  There were seven deputies, accompanied by a senior deputy, who entered his home. Some of them shined flashlights throughout the house, while some of the others began checking the closets and the restroom. Both of them were holding billy clubs.

  “Do you have the copy of your restraining order, sir?” asked the senior officer.

  “Yep, it’s right here in my pocket. I’ve been waiting on you guys for almost eleven hours,” said Jermaine, handing over the order.