Sunny Side Up

by Daniel Stallings

  “Charlegne?”

  Daphne let loose a whole orchestra of squeals and giggles, making enough noise for three women and dropping several of her returned carry-ons on the floor again. Li feared for his eardrums. “Oh yes! I had the most thrilling encounter yesterday morning! Oh, I wish I could tell Linda and Marcia about it! They’d simply keel over with jealousy!”

  Li wondered, as he stooped to pick up the newly scattered belongings, whether some women survived through never-ending cycles of one-upmanship with their closest friends.

  Daphne shadowed him, determined to pummel the young waiter with her story. “Of course, they were already RIDDLED with envy when I told them about Josh’s sister giving us this cruise as a gift. But things have been hard at home lately, and I thought we deserved this vacation. And what a vacation it’s been! Such a nice staff! I told that man yesterday that the employees really look after us like—now what was that rather clever phrase I used?—‘shepherds with their flock.’ I grew up around farms, so the associations are always there.”

  Li felt pins of anxiety around his mouth as he counted the seconds. It wasn’t that Mrs. Cole was a bad person, but her penchant for salting her stories with anecdotes eroded a person’s patience after a while.

  “This cruise has been like a fairytale for Josh and me! It’s just been unbelievable!”

  The young waiter restored the twice-fallen jumble of purses to their owner and turned toward the dining room, hoping he had enough seconds to start waiting a table before Paul clued in on his tardiness.

  “Of course, I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw Charlegne Jackson that morning!”

  It was a second or two of mental hell as Li wrestled between duty and curiosity.

  Despite his common sense screaming and pulling at his hair to keep him from turning back, he faced Daphne again. “You saw Charlegne Jackson?”

  Daphne seemed to purr at the idea of finally securing a rapt audience. “Well, you see, at breakfast yesterday, I rescued this very sweet woman named Sally from her boar of a husband. Dear Josh helped me out. He knows how to negotiate with…difficult clients. He talked to Sally’s husband. We simply had to get Sally away for a while. Poor thing. She must have been bullied by men all her life. Well anyway, she and I made plans to meet on the Seaview Deck at ten and go to Catalina Island. I went there early, because Josh said he needed to talk to someone.”

  “You didn’t go to the island with your husband?”

  “Well, we planned to go on the Airport-in-the-Sky tour, but I thought it would be best if Sally had a girl’s day. Just the two of us. I never left Sally alone for a moment. I didn’t want her to think I’d abandon her or anything like that. I made sure she always knew I was there for her. We girls have to stick together like glue. Besides, my husband could enjoy himself on his own. He went to the Airport while I took Sally to the Casino. You know it has these gorgeous murals.”

  I’m going to be here until dinner service at this rate, Li thought. He started inching backwards.

  Daphne edged closer to Li. “It was just spectacular! I thought I would burn through my entire media card on the murals alone! Luckily, I brought spares. Oh, and we met this lovely woman down on Deck Three while we waited for the tenders! Priscilla’s her name.”

  Priscilla? Could it be the same Priscilla as Charlegne’s assistant?

  “It was like being with the girls again. Priscilla joined Sally and me on our tour. She took us to this fabulous dress shop on the island and helped me pick this drop dead gorgeous gown of blue…was it silk? I can’t recall. Anyway, it was a delightful store, and Priscilla’s expert tips really helped us decide what clothes would be best for our figures. We would have stayed longer, but Sally had a headache and wanted to stop at a drug store for some aspirin. So we did. I even offered to pay for it.”

  “How nice of you.” Li craned his neck over his shoulder as he heard polite, breakfast chatter waft from the dining room mere centimeters away. If he could beg Daphne off…but a new thought flared to life like a filament zapped with electric current. “This lady, Priscilla, had expert fashion tips?”

  “Oh yes! Didn’t I say why? Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my stories. She works for Charlegne Jackson at La Charlegne.” Daphne started twittering and fluttering like a startled bird, and Li was terrified that she would drop her belongings again. “Oh, just listen to me! I didn’t even get to tell you about that morning with Charlegne! I always seem to run off on a tangent. There was one time when I…No, no…I need to tell you about Charlegne. I was more thrilled than I have ever been in my life!”

  Li’s feet continued to slink backwards even as his ears honed in on the words spewing over Daphne’s lips. “I bet you were, Mrs. Cole.”

  Just another inch or two. If I can get her into the dining room, then it won’t look so bad. I won’t seem so late. Oh God, I hope so.

  “Well, like I said, I went to the Sports Deck at about five to ten to wait for Sally. We were meeting at that little strip of deck covered by the awning…the Seaview Deck. This nice attendant came to me and said I would be more comfortable waiting by the pool, because it was not as chilly. It was pretty nippy on the Seaview Deck, so I went and sat next to this man already there. Quiet guy. Didn’t say anything to me. Well, I talked for a minute or two and then—this is the best part—I saw Charlegne Jackson herself come up from the lower decks! Oh, it was priceless. Like looking through a magazine all over again. She wore this delicious white bathing suit. A one-piece with little cutouts in the side. Modest and yet, cut to fit her figure in the most flattering way. And she perched this chic purple sunhat on her head. She sauntered along like it was a boulevard in Paris. Gliding almost. She even waved to me! Can you imagine? I could have fainted dead away when that happened!”

  “I can imagine, yes. What did Charlegne do?”

  Daphne waved away her idol’s actions with a slight sigh. “Oh, nothing special. She just sat in a lounge chair and ordered coffee. Then tipped the hat over her eyes and fell asleep. It was a perfect day to sunbathe.”

  So Charlegne covered her face with the hat. But someone had to take it off for the sun to affect her brain and then put it back on later. Why? And did she use sunscreen?

  “Of course, the minute I saw her, I said ‘I need to get her autograph.’ I always take an issue of Vogue when I travel. I thought ‘I’ll ask her to sign this.’ It would be so poetic! Well, wouldn’t you know it? The moment I decide to do that, it turns out I left my purse and my magazine in my cabin! I tore down to my cabin, hoping I could make it in time to meet Sally. It wasn’t easy. There was this mass of people trying to leave the ship the second the tenders did, and it was like plowing upstream all the way. It took me ages to reach the Seaview Deck again. Sally was there. I hoped I didn’t keep her waiting too long. We left right after that, because we had so much to do.”

  “But what about your autograph?”

  “Silly me. I left the magazine in the stateroom again. I just grabbed my purse and left.” She sighed indulgently. “Oh, I do hope I get to meet Charlegne Jackson in person! I’m simply dying to tell Linda and—Oh hello, Honeybunch! I’ve missed you.”

  Li ran his back right into another person and stuttered to a stop. He pivoted his head upwards. The angry, dark eyes of Josh Cole glared down at him. They were like coals starting to smolder. His red hair blazed under the cold white light pouring in from the Atrium.

  Short Fuse, Li thought. This must be Short Fuse.

  “I was just grabbing some more stuff for when we depart the ship, and I ran into this sweet boy. Do you remember him from yesterday?”

  Josh clapped two hard hands onto the waiter’s shoulders. Li flinched. Then he felt those hungry, tendon-tight paws inch around his throat.

  “Oh, I remember all right.”

  Li found it hard to swallow.

  “Come on, Daphne dear. Let’s have breakfast.”

  “Just think, Joshy-poo! We’re in Ensenada, Mexico! Oh, it’s so exotic!”
/>   “It’ll be an adventure, my angel.”

  Giving the throat a warning squeeze, Josh shoved Li out of his way and escorted his wife into the dining room. Li crashed into the wall. Fearing a banged-up shoulder in the midst of all his other problems, he watched the receding couple and grazed his fingertips along his neck

  Daphne Cole glanced over her shoulder and waved airily at him. She smiled without strain, untroubled by her husband’s behavior.

  Li wondered if a woman’s friendliness might mean murder to her friends.

  “Hey buddy! You and I need to settle something.”

  Travis slipped into the kitchen just as Li finished washing the dishes. His eyes scanned the rows of china, silverware, and cookware lined in the drying racks like an army. He let out a long whistle. “First of all, are you still on solo dish duty?”

  Li racked the last clean plate with its brothers and dried his hands on a dish towel. “Well, ever since Paul’s edict, the dishwashers made themselves scarce. This is a vacation for them.”

  “They might want to take a permanent one. I’ve never seen it so organized.”

  Li twisted his towel and blushed. “I like it that way. Keeps everything where it’s supposed to be. My brain hates chaos. I don’t mind the job so much now. Gives me a chance to get away from people for a while.”

  “Speaking of getting away, are you going on the crew excursion this time or not? Don’t give me your usual, half-assed excuses, Li, because—”

  “Of course, I’m going.”

  “—if you go on about being in ‘mourning,’ I’ll—wait…what did you say?”

  “I said I’m going, Travis. I decided last night. There’s no way I’m staying on this ship for another round of abuse.”

  “It would be less abusive today since Paulie and the sommelier always go on the wine tasting tour in Guadalupe together to schmooze our liquor-loving luminaries.”

  Li hooked his dish rag on the drying rack. “Really? Then maybe I should change my mind and stay.”

  “Don’t you dare! I already have your word. We’re going to the sea geyser, La Bufadora or ‘The Blowhole.’ You can guess why I’m interested.” He waggled his eyebrows. “So hurry up and get changed into something more casual and fun and less like you’re serving me a tray of daiquiris. Although that wouldn’t be a bad idea, eh buddy?” He elbowed Li in the ribs. “I’ll meet you in front of the welcome center. It’s right on the pier. Can’t miss it. Don’t take forever, okay?”

  “I won’t, Travis. The only thing keeping me here is you.” Li grinned. “So get lost already!”

  “Now that’s what I call friendship.” Travis winked, turned to the swinging kitchen doors, hesitated, and then doubled back. “I better leave the back way. I heard this couple behind me when I came in, and it sounded like they wanted to use the empty dining room as their private fight club. Don’t want to walk in on that. That’s your job.”

  “Are you saying that I’m the one who has to ask them to leave?”

  “Would there be anyone better?”

  Travis saluted his friend as the service elevator doors closed around him. Li pushed out a sigh, tried to remember the scraps he learned taking karate as a kid, just in case, and parted the kitchen doors a crack.

  Rosemary spoke to a sandy-haired man who had his back to Li. Both were dressed in loose summer clothes, ready for a relaxing tour of Ensenada. Something was off. Li could see the tightly suppressed tension in Rosemary’s face. Her hair was an unbound eruption of ginger curls. Her chin thrust forward. Jungle green eyes flashed like the scales of a dragon.

  His common sense, now sounding more like his mother, wailed at him to follow Travis’s lead, but Li chose to listen.

  “I don’t understand this protest, Martin. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to enjoy my vacation?”

  “Rosie, darling, do you always have to fight with me?”

  “Maybe. Maybe it’s become the fun part of our marriage.”

  “Charlegne just died, Rosie. Do you have to look like you just won the lottery? People will talk.”

  “Do you think I’ve spent my whole life worrying about what people think?”

  “Rosie…”

  The man named Martin cupped his wife’s face with his hand. Rosemary’s gaze lowered to the floor.

  “The sweetheart trick won’t work, Martin. Not this time.”

  “Dear, you’re not even trying to listen to—”

  “Maybe I don’t want to listen.” Her chin shot back up, and there was a challenge in her eyes. “Ever think of that, darling? Either way, none of it matters. The bitch is dead. My life doesn’t have to end just because hers did.”

  “And yet, when she was alive, you let her run your life. You would throw everything away just to stay away from her.”

  “That’s different. When she lived, she made me remember Dustin. Now that she’s gone, I don’t have to worry about those damn memories. When she died, they died.” Rosemary attempted a bored shrug, but her shoulders were too tense. “I think it’s better this way.”

  Martin took her hand. His voice softened. “Even after fifteen years?”

  “Fifteen years means nothing. At least, I’VE tried to move on. I’M not worried about her anymore, eh Martin? She’s dead. There’s no more…temptation.” She lifted the corners of her mouth into a smile, but the smile didn’t touch her sharp, narrow glare. “You know all about that, don’t you my dear, devoted husband?”

  Li could sense that the dragon she chained in her heart was about to escape. He shrank further into the kitchen.

  “I…I have no idea what you mean, Ro—”

  “Don’t you, sweetie? Don’t you think I pay attention to my husband’s behavior?” Martin cringed. “Don’t you think I’d be curious about my husband’s reactions to certain things?” Her nostrils flared, her pupils clenched into the slits of a snake, and Li saw her features mutate into the dragon’s face. “Don’t you think, after twenty-two years, I would know when my husband wanted to screw another woman?”

  Li’s heart came to a full stop. He remembered Charlegne in the dining room doorway again. How the ice she built around her shattered. How she seemed to melt into a different woman. How even he felt hot and bothered when he saw the real woman under all the glamour.

  Li knew the woman Rosemary meant.

  Rosemary slid her hand out of her husband’s grip. Bright wheels of color flushed her cheeks. She swung her sunglasses down onto the bridge of her nose like the blade of a guillotine. It was a gesture reminiscent of Charlegne.

  “You stay here and wait for me, Marty dear. I need a few minutes by myself. I’ll come back soon, and we’ll get on the tour.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. That seemed to wound her husband more than her words. “I love you, Marty. Remember that. I’M the one who loves you.”

  She sailed out of the dining room.

  Li shuffled out of the kitchen. He cleared his desert of a throat.

  Martin wheeled around at the noise. Fear sparked in his chestnut eyes before settling into a searching, calculating glare. He fished out his checkbook.

  “How much do you want, kid?”

  Li’s eyebrows inched upwards. “I’m not interested in—”

  “I know you overheard my wife and me. And I won’t have you breathing a word of this to anyone. So how much do you want?” He clicked a ballpoint pen against his leg. It sounded like cocking the hammer on a pistol.

  “I don’t want your money.”

  “What do you want?”

  “To tell you the dining room is closed, Mr. Hale.”

  “I have to wait here for my wife. And how do you know my name?”

  Li swallowed and refused to make eye contact.

  “Wait…I know you. You were our waiter. Rosie has some kind of crush on you. Thinks you’re sweet. But there’s this nasty rumor I heard from one of your coworkers…and if you even think about sleeping with my wife, I’ll—”

  “I’d never sleep with your wife! And I didn’t
sleep with Charlegne!”

  “That’s what you claim. I think you’d better stick to serving customers in the dining room only.” Martin turned and strode toward the door.

  “You loved Charlegne, didn’t you?” Li called out after him.

  Martin stopped. He looked over his shoulder, and there was solid hate in his eyes. Then he ambled toward Li, each step measured, controlled. Li suppressed the instinct to flee.

  “I love Rosie. It’s as simple as that. I can’t dream of living with anyone but her.” His tone was as measured as his footsteps.

  “But you still wanted Charlegne?”

  “Who says that?”

  “It seems every man found her attractive.”

  “Ha! Attractive?” Martin spat, “It was lust! Pure, stupid lust! I can’t think of a man on this planet who didn’t moan to her at some point during puberty!” He stopped walking and unbuttoned the collar of his Hawaiian print shirt. His cheeks flamed. “Can you imagine the hell I live in? To want to screw the damn daylights out of the woman your wife loathes? There were times when I hurt myself trying to release the tension.”

  “I…I understand.”

  Martin smirked. “Dumb statement, kid. Anyone with a Y chromosome craved that bitch. And she never wanted anyone. Not after…” He trailed off.

  “But you saw her yesterday while you waited for the tenders, right?”

  Martin’s hand lunged at Li’s throat. It cut off the shout Li might have made.

  “Say a word of this to my wife and I’ll crush you. Do you understand me?” He shook Li by the throat, making the head flop in a lazy nod. “I didn’t touch that bitch. I have witnesses who will vouch for me. The deck attendant. Some woman who couldn’t shut up.”

  He let go of the wheezing boy.

  Li choked on his words. “B-But you saw h-her.”

  “You want to hear the story? Fine. After breakfast, Rosie and I went to our cabin. She said she didn’t feel well and wanted to rest before going ashore. I went on the Sports Deck at about nine-fifty to wait for her. The deck attendant pulled out a chair by the pool, and I sat there.”

  Li’s engine of a brain whirred into life. And yet, only a few minutes later, Rosemary went on deck herself, but avoided her husband. Why?