Or perhaps, she should have taken the whole incident as a premonition. Something wicked this way comes, should have screamed a warning in her mind, but it didn’t, and she was wholly unprepared for what happened next.
Kyle fell asleep after consuming his ice cream. The four of them chatted about benign things until Joe and Kathleen had to go. Sabrina felt better about spending time with Jake’s family. She got better at idle chatter with each unexpected meeting.
Kathleen and Joe, toting Kyle in a baby carrier, exited ahead of them. Sabrina waited behind Jake as he held the door for another family with several small children entering the ice cream shop.
First the mom entered, visibly pregnant and carrying a small child of perhaps a year in age. Two more stair-stepped children followed her, possibly three and four years of age. They were followed by the dad of the fruitful little family, who happened to be Sabrina’s ex-fiancé. Harry.
Harry mumbled thanks to Jake and looked up into Sabrina’s eyes, which she knew were as wide open as physically possible. She drew in a sharp breath and locked gazes with the man who had devastated her. Her mouth was as dry as a dust bunny in the dessert. She valiantly made an effort to paste a smile on her face, but couldn’t manage it and concentrated on fighting the urge break down into loud tears in front of the world.
“Sabrina?” Harry asked in a surprised voice.
“Hello, Harry,” she managed. Her voice was flat..
“Gosh. I haven’t seen you since…” His voice trailed off as it dawned on him exactly how long it had been since they’d seen each other and the despicable circumstances of their final parting. He managed to look a little embarrassed.
Sabrina had dreaded this day for five long years. Her rehearsed scenarios of running into Harry had never included his family watching as she spewed her considerable anger forth.
Sabrina looked back into the ice cream store briefly at his little happy family who’d had trooped in ahead of him and stood already ordering ice cream at the counter. It occurred to her that he certainly hadn’t wasted any time with his fertile little bunny of a wife. Who could shoot out the necessary offspring for the dugout he was trying to fill. Where she had failed miserably.
Time to go. Get away. Run.
“Yeah, whatever. Bye, Harry.” Sabrina didn’t feel like making nice right now, and she didn’t want to break down and cry a river in public either, so she opted for escape. Her girly emotional side was surely about to make a not-so-surprising visit.
Jake paused at the threshold of the open door, his face curious but patient. He held out his hand for her. She took it gratefully and they exited the ice cream place hand-in-hand. She didn’t speak and he didn’t press her. They said good-bye to Joe, Kathleen, and Kyle. Sabrina held it together long enough for that at least.
Jake led her towards the car, making it halfway there before he asked. “You going to be okay? You have that look on your face. You know like the one you get just after a bomb goes off.”
“I don’t want to talk, okay?” her voice sounded like she was on the verge of tears…which she was.
“Okay.”
“Could you please take me home?” she managed to get out, without weeping, amazingly enough.
Jake paused a moment and released a long breath. “Yeah, sure.” Jake’s resigned voice gave her momentary pause, but Sabrina couldn’t address it now. She spiraled down into unpleasant memories. Jake didn’t press her for conversation and they remained silent on the ride to her apartment. She watched out the passenger window as the city scenery flew by and recounted the last several years of her life that had also flown by.
Why did she give a rat’s ass that Harry had gone off and done exactly what he’d said he was going to do? Because she hadn’t been allowed the same courtesy. Life wasn’t fair. If she’d learned anything at all growing up in an orphanage, it was that one lesson.
Sabrina realized much later, after their break-up, that she and Harry had only been together because they’d shared the same orphaned childhood. They left the Heathton state-run orphanage on the same day after graduating from high school and were living together in an apartment the following week. They worked two jobs each to afford meager luxuries. They decided to live by their own rules and have lots of children because no one should be raised without a family. Harry had told her he would marry her as soon as she got pregnant. Otherwise, it was better financially for them to remain single. Together they dreamed of a huge family.
After two years of trying diligently to conceive, Sabrina was still not pregnant. Harry snapped one day when she started her period, lashing out and told her she was ruining his dreams.
“I should already be bouncing a baby on my knee. What is wrong with you, anyway?” he had ranted. She mainly remembered having horrible cramps as per the usual and slunk off to her second job in pain, feeling the brunt of his anger.
Sabrina chalked up his mood at the time to over work and stress. They both had two part-time jobs and rarely saw one another for longer than half an hour a night. They hardly had time to try and conceive a child, she thought bitterly. Harry had decided it should be a much faster process.
Sabrina, ever the voice of reason, told him perhaps they should go get checked out medically. She told him it was probably stress. So off they’d gone, expecting the doctor to tell them the lack of their fruitfulness was due to overwork.
But the problem had been due to some reason Sabrina didn’t hear. After countless tests which had all cost a fortune, the doctor had told her she would likely never conceive and to look into adoption and foster care. That was when she stopped listening. Harry looked at her with such condemnation she couldn’t bear it, and pointed her face to the floor for the rest of the short doctor’s visit.
Harry, upon exiting the medical building, promptly left her at there to find her own way home. He gave her a look of supreme disgust as he drove away. Deserting her. She broke down into tears way back when she let her emotions rule her. Before the iron-hard bitch roosted in her soul to rule her girly sentiments.
Sabrina had been forced to call a taxi to get home. She fully expected to find Harry waiting at their apartment to apologize. He not only wasn’t at home, he didn’t come home all the rest of that night or the next morning. Sabrina had been ready to call the police to report him missing, but was too embarrassed to explain to bored patrol officer about her infertility. Which she knew was precisely the reason he was gone.
Sabrina didn’t see him again until the following night for about ten minutes before she left for her night job. He didn’t apologize then either. He strolled in as if it were a regular night. The only words he’d spoken were in question form, “Did you remember to pick up milk for my cereal in the morning?” The acid, petulant tone of his voice had caught her off guard..
“Yes,” she responded quietly.
Sabrina wanted to rail at him and demand he tell her where he’d been, but she was guilt-ridden over the new knowledge of her inability to conceive. Despondent over the idea of never having a single baby, let alone the ten that Harry wanted, she swallowed her resentment and accepted his anger as punishment for her deficiencies.
Sabrina didn’t blame Harry for being such an uncommunicative grouch. It was, after all, her fault that his dreams wouldn’t be realized. So she mourned her losses alone. They never made love again. She tried to initiate it a couple times, over the next few weeks, only to be summarily turned down.
“What’s the point?” Harry would ask. Another embarrassing blow to her ego on top of the guilt trip of infertility she bore alone and in silence. So she moved like a robot for two months, feeling like she was living alone in a nightmare she couldn’t control or wake up from.
At the end of those quiet, lonely, two months and on the anniversary day of their graduation and subsequent move from the orphanage Sabrina finally had enough. She went home early to catch Harry and talk everything out. She couldn’t go on a single day as they had. To her great surprise as she stepped i
nto their apartment, Harry wasn’t alone. A bland looking brunette girl sat on the sofa holding hands with him.
“What’s going on here?” Sabrina asked, genuinely puzzled.
“I’m leaving you,” Harry announced defiantly. He stood and tugged the girl along. “If you hadn’t come home so early, we’d already be gone.”
“Wait. That’s it. You’re leaving me? Today?” Sabrina was incredulous. They were going to face the world together. Now he was leaving her…for someone else.
“Shannon is pregnant with my child. I met her at a bar the night we found out about your big problem,” he said hatefully, and then softened his look for the girl who held his hand. “Shannon comforted me.” He turned and whispered something to the brunette.
Shannon crossed in front of her without giving her a single look and left the apartment. Harry paused only a moment before he started after her. Apparently, he’d said all he wanted to say. Sabrina was so stunned she was almost speechless…almost.
“You rotten bastard!” she spat out as he passed by her. “How dare you treat me like this? Don’t you realize I’ve been hurting too? Did it ever occur to you how devastated I am about what the doctor said?” Harry stopped and turned on her.
“Whatever, Sabrina, but I won’t give up my dreams. Not for you. You’re damaged goods and I shouldn’t have to suffer for the rest of my life because of your problems.” He stared at her angrily waiting for her to argue, but she couldn’t. He was right. She was damaged and no one had been there to tell her any differently.
So Harry left her that day, a week before her birthday, and she hadn’t seen him again until a few minutes ago.
Secretly, Sabrina had hoped that Harry was the one with the fertility problem. His new wife was already pregnant or had cheated on him with the mailman and that was the only reason she was pregnant, but now Sabrina knew it wasn’t true. Those kids had looked exactly like Harry. Right down to those sad puppy dog eyes she’d wanted to cheer up once upon a time.
Well, her life hadn’t turned out the way she wanted. How many people got that privilege? She’d faced adversity and come through without destroying herself. Sabrina got up, dusted herself off, and simply made different choices. She chose to contribute to society and signed up to work in the sheriff’s office the very next week. She was happy with her life. Wasn’t she?
Well, she was certainly happier since Jake had entered it. Poor Jake. He didn’t know half of what was going on.
Because you won’t tell him, said a callous voice from within her subconscious. He deserves to know the truth, the voice went on. No, she argued, Not yet. Not yet. I’m not ready. Then when? the harsh voice prodded her.
Sabrina was at a turning point. She decided she should take some time to figure out what to do next. She needed to make a plan for what to do about Jake. He deserved the truth. So he could move on without her. Her heart clenched. No. Please not yet. I’m not ready to let Jake go.
“Was that the guy?” Jake said, breaking up her argument with herself. Sabrina looked up and realized the car had stopped moving. They were parked in her driveway.
“Yep.” She nodded and got out of the nice safe Volvo sedan Jake drove, like she might escape her past if she moved fast enough. She stepped up on her porch as Jake followed closely.
“Are you still in love with him?” Jake asked, as if chewing on broken glass, as they stood before her front door.
“What?” The question was so preposterous she almost laughed out loud.
“Don’t make me repeat it,” he said.
“No,” she scoffed. “Honestly, Jake I wonder now if I ever did.”
“Okay, that’s good.”
“But I need some time alone to think, Jake.” Sabrina leaned her head against her front door.
“What are you going to think about all alone?”
“Things, memories. Stuff I’m not ready to share with you yet.”
He nodded, but reluctance crossed his handsome features. “I’ll miss you. I’m off for the next three days. Call me soon, okay?”
Sabrina lifted her head from the door and managed a short polite nod without looking at him. If she looked at him she would be lost in gorgeous green eyes and her resolve would be lost with his mesmerizing gaze. She stepped away to unlock the door.
“I feel like I’m losing a battle I didn’t get a chance to fight in.”
“Jake, please, just give me some time.” The anguish she heard in her own voice made her even more anxious for solitude. Sabrina didn’t want to start crying in front of him. She’d never get him to leave if she broke down completely.
“I’m trying, babe. Just please give me a chance.”
Sabrina nodded again but remained silent, her eyes focused away on distant thoughts. She entered her house without saying another word.
* * * *
Jake waited for a moment after she entered her house. He wanted to follow her inside and soothe her anguish. She’d gone white when she saw the guy at the ice cream shop. He resisted the urge to pummel the stranger for whatever he’d done to Sabrina long ago. Even as he was elated the moron had let her go so Jake could claim her now.
All today, until she shut him out of her house, his thoughts had been on the incident from the night before. He relived the experience of sliding his cock deeply inside her body that first time without protection and a shudder ran through him in memory. She was his one and only, and it wasn’t just the amazing sex either. She touched his soul. She didn’t harp on his dangerous job. Hell, her job was just as dangerous. They suited each other perfectly. He couldn’t imagine being apart from her. Not for any reason.
Jake was ready and willing to make a commitment. Now. Today. He wanted to make plans for their life together. He would explain his intentions. He’d be there for her no matter what. He wanted to stroke her hair, kiss her lips and take away any and all bad memories from her past life.
He wanted her with an insatiable need riding over him, but she wanted to exercise her demons alone. She probably wasn’t used to having anyone’s shoulder to cry on. He wanted to give her his shoulders, both of them, permanently. He tried to understand her reluctance to share whatever had upset her. He glanced over his shoulder at her house and sighed. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her tightly in his arms and protect her from the evil world at large.
Jake hesitated, taking his sweet time walking to his safe Volvo sedan. He turned to stride back and pound on her front door to demand she allow him to comfort her, but decided she deserved time to herself. He didn’t need to be a barbarian. He would give her some time alone to prove he was a good guy. He’d be waiting to love her.
Jake reached, his car keys in hand, then started and dropped them when he heard Sabrina shriek in terror from inside her house.
Chapter Eleven
Jake’s gut wrenched at Sabrina’s scream. He raced to her front door, his legs pumping as he heard her scream again even louder. The sound crawled to the pit of his soul. He ran to Sabrina’s front porch and wrenched the door open.
If it had been locked, he would have torn the door from its hinges. He skidded through the front entryway as he heard Sabrina utter a healthy string of curse words any drunken sailor worth his salt would have been proud to claim authorship of from the direction of her kitchen. As he stepped into the doorway of her kitchen he took in three things simultaneously.
The back door had been forced open, using the second thing he saw. Her kitchen table sported a new ominous center decoration, a big wicked looking butcher knife. It stuck straight up out of the center and had a small pumpkin skewered on the blade. The final thing he noticed was her furious gaze. He learned at that moment that he never wanted to see that fury directed his way, not ever.
Any other woman, even the formidable women he knew, would have run out of the house as if the hounds of hell were nipping at their heels. They would have launched into him incoherently trying to say something meaningful like, “…pumpkin…little pumpkin… kitchen table…
big butcher knife…” But not Sabrina.
Jake had no doubt in his mind after witnessing her livid face that whosoever had dared to violate the confines of her domain would be sporting that butcher knife, complete with pumpkin deco, out of their chest once she learned their identity.
She stood, arms akimbo, mouth opening and closing in utter wrath, and surveyed the damage. It looked like a tornado had spun through her house and left nothing untouched.
“Are you okay?” He put his hand on her shoulder and she turned on him.
“No. I’m not okay. Look around you. He destroyed everything. Everything!” Sabrina finally pierced him with an angry look. As if she finally realized who stood before her, she shut her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again this time minus the mania.
“Sorry. I’m fine. My house, on the other hand, is a complete wreck. The bastard was here in my house.” She gestured to the butcher knife in the dining room table. “Damn, fucking mad bomber.”
Jake hid a smile and reached for his cell phone and called the police. Sabrina was not scared and he took a moment to feel sorry for the day she discovered the identity of this intruder. Sabrina would kick the mad bomber’s ass.
God almighty, she was even gorgeous when she was angry. Sabrina was his one and only. He’d simply have to prove it to her.
* * * *
“I love what you’ve done with the place, Sabrina,” Murphy said as he strolled through the destruction that used to be her tidy, sterile little abode a few hours later.
“Shut up, Murphy,” she said in reflex.
The festive autumn decoration stuck in her dining table was only one of many changes Sabrina found in her house from the intruder. It was obviously the final stick of a knife signaling a job well done.
The knife first slashed through every piece of her belongings and furniture. The perpetrator hadn’t spared the damn curtains, which were slashed and hanging in tatters in every room. Her bedroom looked like the final scene from a pillow fight at down feather factory.
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