I wanted this kiss. I knew I shouldn’t but I did. I knew I should tell him no and walk away to save the hurt that I knew would all but kill me later, but I couldn’t. Because it wasn’t just about walking away from a man like Draven, no it was about not being able to give up on a man like Draven. A man, I was still very much in love with. So even knowing what Vincent had said, about us never being able to be together again. I could only hope that he was wrong about some things because in the other thing he was dead right…
I would never stop fighting for Draven.
I just simply didn’t have it in me.
But with the next words out of Draven’s mouth, I now knew for certain that one of us did and that broken time…shattered…
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Chapter 12
Awkward Much?
On hearing this I quickly ducked out of his hold. My heart pounded with both anger and humiliation, which was an ugly mix. I was just taking a minute to decide whether to storm off or give him a piece of my mind. Maybe it should have taken me longer, then to go with option two and not act on impulse. Either way I didn’t get very far.
“Draven, you can’t just do…!” I started but was cut off mid rant when his hand clamped over my mouth and an arm snaked around my body to pull me back to him.
“Ssshh, we are being watched,” Draven whispered and I followed his eyes to the end of the long aisle to an extremely tall, hooded figure. I frowned at Draven’s paranoid tone and shook my head, managing to dislodge his hand in the process.
“Yeah and I would have thought by now you were used to it.” I retorted dryly but he wasn’t listening.
“Go back to the reception and stay there until I return.” He ordered quickly after he saw the man disappear out of sight and took a step to follow him.
“Draven it’s just a student…”
“Do as I say Keira, now!” Draven said, barking at me in a forceful tone, one that brooked no argument.
“Fine!” I snapped back, turning on my heel and leaving him to whatever freak out he was having. I looked back over my shoulder just in time to see Draven’s form rounding the corner in hot pursuit.
“Whatever,” I muttered as I looked back and bumped straight into someone and that someone was my boyfriend!
“Alex!?” I said his name more in a panic than shock and I found myself trying to lock down the urge to look around for Draven.
“The one and only…but hey, are you alright? You look flushed?” Alex said holding onto the tops of my arms and rubbing them as if he thought I was cold.
“I’m fine!” I said in a high pitched squeal that sounded anything but. He raised one eyebrow at me like I was fooling no one.
“So, what are you doing here? Not that I am not happy to see you of course, I just thought that I would only be seeing you at the airport.” I was rambling and I knew this but when you are having a mini meltdown at the idea of your current boyfriend seeing that he wasn’t the only one to have ‘popped in’ to see me and that my ex had supposedly also had the same idea…well there was only one word for it…
Awkward!
“I wanted to surprise you.” Yeah and he wasn’t the only one, I thought on a wince I hopefully hid. Well given I was just nearly caught kissing my ex I thought I was doing ok so far. Now I just needed to get rid of him before Draven came back.
“Oh you certainly did.” I muttered under my breath as I started pulling him closer to one of the aisles in case an angry Demonic/sometimes slightly Angelic lord came back. Oh who was I kidding, I hadn’t seen Draven’s Angel side in quite a while and there was definitely nothing remotely Angelic in that smouldering look he was giving me only minutes ago. That was right before he dumped a bucket of icy cold water over me and extinguished any flames he had ignited.
Alex laughed at my strange behaviour and luckily I had one of the best excuses considering who my boss was.
“Sorry but I just don’t want to get caught…you know, with my boyfriend…”
“Making out?” He whispered leaning into me. Oh God but right now that was the last thing I wanted to be caught doing and not just by my pain in the ass boss! Not good Keira, so not good!
So what did I do to get out of this situation? What I usually did in all the rest of the awkward positions I managed to get myself into…I snorted and it wasn’t pretty.
“Sorry about that, I’m just, you know…uh…”
“Keira, it’s alright, I know.” At this I think my eyes bulged a bit when I blurted out in panic,
“You do!?” To which he laughed.
“Yeah ma chérie, and it’s alright, I find it cute.” Ok so we were totally not talking about the same thing, ‘cause I was pretty sure that no one would find nearly kissing their ex cute!
“I like that you are excited about our trip. I don’t know about you but what I look forward to the most is spending some quality time together. I feel between your college work and my hectic schedule that we hardly see each other lately.” He said wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his embrace. I tried not to let my body go stiff and to relax but knowing Draven was only around the corner this wasn’t so easy to accomplish.
I would have asked myself what was wrong with me but I think it was a little more than obvious and I felt like a horrible person. Here I was with a loving, sweet and caring boyfriend who had surprised me and was whisking me away on a romantic getaway and how was I acting…? Like a love sick teenager with a crush on her ex! Ok, so granted it was a little more complicated than that but the outcome would be the same. Draven wouldn’t allow himself to have me but it seemed he wasn’t opposed to torturing me with those facts when almost kissing me and then kindly informing me that ‘he couldn’t do this anymore’!
“So that’s why I wanted to surprise you by taking you out to dinner and somewhere nice, not that vile diner you took me to once.” He made a face as though I had once made him eat Oliver Twist style gruel there. I just laughed and pinched him playfully on the sleeve of his expensive suit jacket.
“It wasn’t that bad!”
“Keira, I am pretty sure my burger had a face on it.” I rolled my eyes as I giggled, thinking it was funny watching his face as he lifted off the grease soaked bun and flicked it to the side. However this thought just brought me back to one even funnier and that was the sight of Draven in Burger King that time we went Christmas shopping in Liverpool. It was such a perfect day that it just made this last Christmas gone all the more harder to deal with.
“So dinner, what time do you finish today?” Alex asked shaking me from my depressing thoughts and also reminding me that the man I was once again obsessing over was also in the same building. And this was definitely one showdown I didn’t want to witness again, not after last night.
“I don’t know as Jessica said she might be running late and I have to wait for her to get in before I can leave.”
“That should be fine as I have someone to see here anyway, I can just pick you up from home later, about 7:30?” He said this and then automatically looked over my head, making me paranoid for a second thinking that Draven was stood directly behind me. Thankfully though he wasn’t but there was still something about that look that didn’t sit right.
“Yeah, that sounds good.” I said vaguely, still deep in thought.
“Great, oh and wear something nice, it will be expensive.” He added eyeing my outfit like I had on a prison jumpsuit and was rocking orange. I frowned down at myself and wondered briefly with comments like that what exactly it was he saw in me? Ok so I was dressed casually for work by wearing a faded blue T-shirt with an old fashioned typewriter printed on the front in black but I thought considering I worked in a library it would be quirky. This combined with slightly frayed jeans and my usual black long fingerless gloves I fit right in with everyone else. So what if some of the other girls looked a little more professional in their tight skirts and frilly shirts but management hadn’t said there was a dress code so I didn’t t
hink it an issue…until now that was.
“I’m sure I have a dress somewhere.” I said trying not to sound too disheartened. Of course I wanted to smack myself upside the head when I thought about Draven liking my style…or lack of it apparently.
“Excellent.” He replied suddenly beaming at me making me feel bad for giving him a hard time in my head. So he wanted me to dress up, what was the big deal? I needed to relax and forget all about a certain dark haired, muscled God who wanted to torment me.
“Great, I look forward to it.” I said feeling a little more upbeat about the night ahead of me and then I remembered something.
“Oh, but I kind of promised Sophia this morning that I would have some girly time with her later.” And I had, simply because she had given me very little choice in the matter. This had happened over breakfast which strangely had been like a small family affair. It had been held in the stunning marble dining room and the spread laid out on the table looked like someone had robbed the whole bakery before then moving on to a diner for the meat and dairy products. There was enough to feed the army that I’d had Zagan send back to Hell for me!
Draven had sat at the head of the table and I still remember staring at that strange symbol just showing on the high back above his head. It was the same as my birth mark and to this day I still didn’t know what it meant. Sophia had interrupted my thoughts when she thrust a loaded plate in my hand with what looked like two of everything on it, before manhandling me until I was sat down on Draven’s left.
I think in all the time I had been in Draven’s life it was the first meal I had seen them all sit down together to eat. Vincent had given me a wink as he bit into his cinnamon roll and then made me laugh when moaning out loud and slowly rolling his eyes in obvious pleasure. Sophia just rolled her eyes for a different reason before throwing a sugar cube at him.
“You look like a pig.” She had chastised and I couldn’t help but burst out laughing as Zagan grabbed his own cinnamon roll and did the same as Vincent, only louder.
“Ah pigs!” She complained dramatically, only it would have been more convincing without her fighting a grin.
“Well at least one of the men at this table is behaving himself in front of the ladies.” She said nodding at Draven, who I had not been able to look at until now.
“Yeah, but he is trying to impress someone, so it doesn’t count.” Vincent said mischievously winking at me again and igniting my blushing cheeks.
“You need not try and impress me my Lord, I have seen you devour your food many a time.” Zagan said nodding at his lord and the whole table erupted into laughter, even Draven. It was such an unusual but wonderful experience that I couldn’t help but instantly file the memory away as one of my favourites.
After such an easy going start to the day I thought that having Draven drive me home to get ready for my shift would have been the part where it got bizarre between us but I was happily wrong. We just chatted about the new things going on in my life and obviously avoided Alex’s name like the plague. However I did get the impression Draven was holding himself back on asking me about him.
At the end before getting out of the car I turned to him and said,
“I’m not gonna lie and pretend it hasn’t been nice seeing you again Draven…I’m… I’m glad we can still be…be friends.” I stumbled a little bit before forcing the words of friendship past my lips. It was almost as though I was pushing against some invisible force of blasphemy just thinking them, let alone saying them out loud. I didn’t miss the way his eyes had flashed with purple anger, one he hid just as quickly by looking out of his window for long seconds. Had he been trying to compose himself? Had my words of friendship hurt him and if they had, then what was it he wanted from me if not friendship?
“Catherine?” I shook my head and focused back on the man in front of me. Alex laughed and commented,
“I think I lost you there, you looked miles away.”
“Sorry, I guess I just have a lot on my mind…erm you know, packing, passport and stuff.” I said rushing out the last part to hide my slip up about what was really going on in my jumbled messed up head.
“Don’t worry about a thing, ma chérie, soon we will be on a plane together and leaving behind any of life’s distractions.” He said pulling me to him and brushing some of my hair behind my ear. I didn’t have to look up as much as I did with Draven and I tried to turn this into a positive thing. However my mind quickly rebelled against me, reminding me how much I used to love the feeling of Draven’s massive body towering over me, making me feel both consumed by his presence and immense safety from the brutal and raw strength he possessed.
“Distractions would be a good thing to lose right now.” I mumbled truthfully, looking down to the side and feeling lost in the depths of my confusion.
“Great, then I will say goodbye for now my darling and I will see you later.” He said cupping my face and bringing it back round ready for, painfully, my first kiss of the day. The only thing I was grateful for was that it was a little more than a brief joining of our lips before it was over. The whole thing left me feeling cheap and conflicted. I didn’t want to be that woman who took advantage of a good man but on the other hand this was Draven we were talking about. How could I ever find enough restraint around him? No, there was only one thing to be done about it…
I needed to stay away from him.
Yeah, this was what I would do, I would make it so I didn’t see Draven again before I went away with Alex and then I could use the time to figure out where my relationship with Alex was going without being reminded of what I once had. I needed to focus on the future and who I wanted to spend it with, not the past and who I had lost back there.
This was a good plan but like most good plans putting them into action was often harder than thinking them up. This was proved even more so when I turned back to the reception after Alex let me go and bumped right into the man himself, blowing that plan all to Hell!
“Draven?!” I said looking up at him and finding his eyes rooted to the figure behind me with nothing less than murder in his eyes.
“Keira.” He said without even looking at me but still managed to make it sound like he owned the rights to my name. It wasn’t hard given our height difference for him to continually stare at Alex right above my head, so I moved back a step to fall in next to him and no doubt making it clear that I didn’t belong to Draven anymore. This was finally when Draven’s eyes found mine and narrowed as though my action at choosing Alex over him was alien to him.
“Wh…what are you doing here?” I said hoping, or more like praying he wouldn’t let on to Alex the real answer to that question.
“You know full well why I am here.” Well there went that burning hope I thought with Draven’s blunt answer.
“And that is?” This question came from Alex who stood calmly next to me, folding his arms.
“To see Keira, which I very much doubt is the same reason you are here.” Draven answered arrogantly, folding his own arms, which I had to admit was way more intimidating than when Alex did it.
“Draven!” I hissed looking round to see we were starting to draw attention to ourselves.
“It’s alright, Keira, I am not insecure enough to let time spent with your ex-boyfriend worry me in the slightest. Not when I was the one to bear witness to the effects of what his cruel dismissal did to you. Thankfully though, time heals all wounds and certainly continues to do so with the help of others.” On hearing this coming from Alex, Draven actually snarled at him, which sounded terrifyingly like his Demon side was breaking through.
“Please don’t do this.” I whispered, pleading with both of them. Just then I was thankful when Alex’s phone started ringing in his pocket. He didn’t look like he was going to answer it for a second, not wanting to break eye contact with Draven first but it must have been important because he swiped his thumb across the screen to accept it.
“There is no need to say anything as I will be there in
a moment to meet with you.” Alex said quickly and it was more than clear by his tone that he didn’t respect the person on the other end of the line, as he hung up before the person even had a chance to say anything. Draven raised one eyebrow as though he had detected something odd in this, which wasn’t surprising given that he was probably looking for any reason not to trust him. What was surprising however was that he didn’t look smug or in any way happy that he had been right, because unlike Draven, Alex hadn’t made the trip just to see me and that phone call had been his proof.
“It pains me to have to go Catherine, but like you I have to finish my work.” When Alex said this he looked over to the reception area and nodded as if silently reminding me too that I should be working. It was subtle enough that I could have been being paranoid but for some reason I didn’t think so. However, it could have been because Draven looked like he too thought the same as me and as a result wanted to choke the life out of him.
“Its fine, it was nice of you to come and see me before your meeting.” I said hoping this would be the right thing to say for the one person who was supposed to matter to me the most… whether it was Alex was still shamefully debatable though.
“Until tonight, ma chérie.” He said before bending his neck to kiss me and at the last second I turned my head so his kiss landed on my cheek. I wasn’t sure what other people would have done in my position after all the hurt Draven had inflicted on me and with the bitter taste of rejection I had encountered not moments before. But for me, I just wasn’t cruel enough to ram it in Draven’s face that I was with another man, even if Alex could.
“See you later.” I said with my face still turned away and my line of sight made it so I couldn’t help but notice Draven’s hands clench into tight fists at his sides, only relaxing when Alex moved away from me and walked away.
“I know you don’t want to, Keira but at some point we are going to have to have a conversation about…that.” Draven said affirming both the name he obviously preferred I be called and what he also preferred to call my boyfriend.
The Pentagram Child: Part 1 (Afterlife Saga Book 5) Page 15