Bitter Sweet Love

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  I gave him a cheeky grin. “Sorry?”

  “And I don’t think that’s a genuine apology.” He tilted his head to the side slyly and held my arm between us. “Your father is very frightening. I put my arms, my legs and my balls out on the—”

  “Oh, my God.” I laughed. “Unnecessary information, Dez.”

  “Look, you just need to know what’s at stake.” He tugged my arm, scooting me forward. “I have a feeling I’m going to need my—”

  I swung at him with my other hand, but he caught that too. “You are definitely not going to be needing them any time soon.”

  “I strongly disagree.” A wicked look flickered in his eyes a second before he tugged me out of my chair and into his lap. He clamped his arms around my waist as I started to wriggle away. “Jas,” he said, his voice dropping low. “You should stop squirming.” Then he paused. “Or not. I’m kind of partial to it, honestly.”

  I froze, hands planted on his shoulders. Warmth crept over my cheeks. “You’re terrible.”

  “I’m a lot of things right now.” He lowered his head to mine and inhaled deeply. “I bet you can figure out one or two of those things.”

  My mouth went dry, and I didn’t dare move. Bad thing was that I wanted to, and the knowledge made my skin stretch too tight. “How can you be gone for so long and act like you haven’t been? Like this was the way it always was between us?”

  “How can I not?” he said, and then shook his head a little. “That answer probably doesn’t make sense to you.”

  “It doesn’t.”

  He smiled slightly as he ran a hand up my arm and then back down. “When your dad announced that he wanted us to mate, I was happy, Jas.”

  So happy that he’d promptly disappeared for three years? I kept my lips sealed shut.

  His hand slid up again, but this time he guided my head to his shoulder as he spoke. “You were too young then, but I... well, I knew you wanted this and so did I.”

  “You have a strange way of showing that,” I muttered, but in spite of my words, I relaxed into his embrace.

  “I know. I messed up when I left.” His other hand settled over mine. Slowly, he lifted my hand and threaded his fingers between mine, squeezing gently. “I should’ve said something to you and I didn’t. I can’t change that.”

  I wanted to ask him why he hadn’t, but Dez had always been evasive, even when he was younger, so I went a different route. “Where did you go?”

  Dez shifted, settling me in his lap so that my legs dangled off his. “Many places.”

  “Like?”

  His chest rose against my arm. “I went south—to Florida and then to Texas, up the Midwest and finally to California.”

  The significance of the last location didn’t pass me by. “You went home?”

  He hesitated and then said, “Yes.”

  A sharp pang hit my chest. “You went to the house?”

  “It still stands, but it should be... torn down,” he said, and I peeked up. His gaze was fixed on the darkness outside my bedroom window. “The place is just a burnt-out shell. Couldn’t even go to the second floor.”

  My father had told me what had happened to Dez’s clan. The demons had set fire to their home after the attack, leaving Dez for dead. It was a miracle he’d made it out alive. He never should’ve gone back there alone.

  “The cities out West are teeming with demons, so I hunted.”

  He continued, telling me about the cities he’d been to, but he never once told me why he left. I wasn’t sure he would ever willingly divulge that information. And while I knew that one day I could forgive him for leaving, I also knew I wouldn’t forget and I wasn’t certain that was something either of us could truly get past. For that reason, I couldn’t accept his claim. If I did, our relationship would become a bitter, sad thing.

  But I couldn’t deny the rightness of being in his arms. I wasn’t naive enough to believe in soul mates or any of that childish nonsense that I had once clung to, but there had always been something tangible between Dez and me, and even after his absence, it was still there, stronger than before.

  “I could hold you for a lifetime,” he said, so low, so quick I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right. “But I’ve got to go.” He sighed, sliding his hand back down my arm. “There’s one last thing, though.”

  Lifting my head, I met his gaze. “What?”

  His lashes lowered, hiding the sudden vibrancy in his blue eyes. “We haven’t completed your condition.”

  I tensed. “You’re talking about your condition.”

  “I am.” His hand moved from my arm to my cheek, and my heart jumped, betraying how badly I was looking forward to his condition. “Just a kiss.”

  “Just a kiss?”

  He nodded, smiling slightly.

  A tremor coursed through me when he bent his head and his lips grazed my temple, then followed the curve of my cheekbone. “That’s not a kiss,” I whispered.

  “Yes, it is.”

  Even with my limited experience, I knew better. “No, it’s not.”

  “It’s the beginning of a kiss,” he explained, spreading his hand behind the nape of my neck.

  “The beginning?” My eyes fluttered shut as my anticipation rose in spite of the resolution to end these seven days with a resounding no.

  His lips pressed down on my jaw, a tiny, hot little brand. He moved to one corner of my lips and then the other. Air caught in my throat as he slanted his mouth over mine, kissing me softly. It was such a sweet, tender kiss, little more than a brush of his lips. Still, the contact sent a rush of fire through my veins, and then the kiss deepened, as it had when he’d returned. The pressure of his mouth increased, and he flicked his tongue along the seam of my lips, causing me to gasp. He was quick to take advantage of the opening, kissing me in a way I’d only dreamed of. His tongue slid over mine, patient and coaxing; a slow seduction that demanded a response. A soft sound rose in my throat and the kiss captured it, but somehow he sensed it.

  Dez’s hand moved from my neck to my waist, pulling until I was flush with his chest. I wanted to be closer, but the position made it impossible. The kiss lingered until he retreated, nipping at my lower lip.

  I swayed when he drew away—swayed like a damn reed in a windstorm—and probably would’ve toppled right out of his lap if he hadn’t tightened his arms around me.

  The male pride in his face was so evident when I opened my eyes that I wanted to pick up something heavy and smack him upside the head with it.

  “Don’t even say it,” I warned, flushing.

  “What?” An infuriating half grin appeared on his lips. “I wasn’t going to say a damn thing.”

  Chapter Seven

  The memory of his kiss lingered on my lips long after he was gone and well into the following day. I had no idea a kiss could hold that kind of power, and maybe that wasn’t common, but with Dez it remained at the edge of every thought, thoroughly distracting me.

  I spent the better part of the morning pretending to learn the fine art of healing with stinky herbs before giving up. Since my homeschooling had finished, Claudia was now trying to impart what she’d believed was a more important education. Other girls my age were going off to college. I was learning the difference between witch hazel and lemon thyme.

  Roaming aimlessly, I found myself outside of the room Dez was staying in—the same room on the third floor he’d been in before he left. He was still resting, and I knew that I shouldn’t go in, but a familiar restlessness had invaded me and when this happened, I was prone to doing inappropriate and even stupid things.

  Wiping my palms against my jeans, I tried his door. It was unlocked. I took a deep breath and eased it open. Heavy curtains drawn over the windows cast his room in darkness, but my eyes adapted quickly. My gaze fell to the large bed first, but it was empty. I suspected as much.

  I turned and saw him in the corner of the room.

  We could rest two ways—in our human forms or entombed. Most of us
slept like everyone else in the world, in a nice comfy bed, but those who hunted needed the deep healing sleep that only came from taking on the form that had inspired hundreds of thousands of statues.

  Quietly, I approached him, drawn in a way that caused my skin to tingle. His wings were tucked close to his sides, their tips nearly brushing the floor. The horns on the graceful arches were large and thick, edges deadly sharp. His head was bowed and arms folded in, hands clasped over his pelvis.

  In the darkness, the slate gray of his skin was dull, but in the light, I knew it would hold a soft sheen. His form was unmoving, not even his chest stirring beneath the stone. I didn’t like to sleep this way, and never having a real reason to do so, it wasn’t something I engaged in often. The sleep... it was too close to being dead.

  I honestly didn’t know why I did what I did next. Biting down on my lip, I reached out and touched his arm. The shell was smooth and warm, completely unyielding. I moved my hand up his arm, following the hard swells of muscle. My hand drifted of its own accord, gliding to a stop on his chest. Under my palm, his heart beat―thump, thump-thump, thump.

  Lifting my hand, I trailed my fingers down the curve of his jaw, touching him in a way I didn’t have the courage to do when he was awake. I sort of felt like a creeper, but I was too entranced by the feel of him to stop. My finger grazed over the bottom of his lip as I glanced up.

  Two eyes the color of polished sapphires stared back into mine.

  Oh. My. God.

  His mouth opened and he bit down on the pad of my finger with just enough pressure to cause me to gasp. I was frozen and then I felt his tongue circle the tip of my finger.

  I jerked back at the sudden flood of heat in my veins, curling my hand against my chest. “I was...” I really had no excuse for what I was doing.

  Dez’s chuckle was deep and husky, and I shivered, backing up another step. He straightened and lifted his arms, wings unfurling as his back bowed. Stone and bone cracked. The outer shell glimmered red and then faded back into his skin as he shifted into his human form. Bare golden flesh rippled tautly as he lowered his arms. My gaze moved down.

  He was naked and he was...

  “Oh, my God!” I whipped around, squeezing my eyes shut. My entire face burned. How had I not noticed that?

  Dez’s laugh caused my body to burn bright. “Oh, come on, it’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.”

  “When you were, like, ten, and it was by accident!” I clapped my hands over my cheeks. “And you weren’t so...”

  “So what?” His warm breath caressed the back of my neck.

  “Nothing!” Wow, I’d never be able to get the image out of my head. Not sure I wanted to, but still...

  “You can turn around now.” Amusement danced in his tone. “I have clothes on.”

  I might have been a bit disappointed as I peeked at him. He’d pulled on a pair of sweats, but they hung so low I wondered how long they’d remain around his hips. He parted the room’s curtains and light seeped in, spreading over the floor.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “Has something happened?” he asked, walking back toward me. He yawned when I shook my head. “So you just wanted to see me?”

  I didn’t say anything.

  He grinned. “And feel me up?”

  I cringed. “You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”

  “Never.” He reached out and tugged on the edge of my ponytail. “Don’t worry. I enjoyed it.”

  “Good to know,” I muttered.

  “Let me shower and we’ll do the mall thing today. Okay?”

  I folded my hands together to keep from clapping. “Try not to sound too excited about it.”

  He laughed. “It’s a mall. Maybe if we were doing the skinny-dipping today, I’d be more excited. Correction. I’d be a lot more excited.”

  I wanted to kick myself for suggesting that condition. “You know, I could probably think of something more important than that to do, like—”

  “Oh, no, no take-backs.” He winked. “Can’t make any changes now. We’ve already started, and I know the perfect place for the skinny dipping. And honestly, I am counting down every second until then.”

  My cheeks flushed. “I hate you.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “Go shower.”

  “I am.”

  “Then go.”

  “I’m trying to, but you keep talking to me and looking so damn adorable.”

  “I’ll stop talking or looking cute,” I said, fighting a grin. “Go.”

  He smiled widely. “I said adorable.”

  “Go!” I laughed.

  “Going. I promise. Right now.”

  As he walked past me, he swooped in like a damn bird of prey. Dez kissed me before I realized what he was about to do. His lips were on mine, warm and firm. The kiss was brief, nothing like last night, and then he was going, walking into his bathroom, and I was standing there, feeling the touch of his lips for endless minutes.

  My mind was in a thousand places while I packed a small suitcase for our trip, partly stuck on my mall condition, which we’d fulfilled yesterday. Dez and I had... we’d had a lot of fun. We hadn’t talked about the past and our conversations hadn’t been serious as I forced him from one store to the next. He’d displayed an inordinate amount of patience while I tried on clothes and sorted through a hundred scented candles, picking out the perfect one for Danika.

  It had been hard not to look at him and blush after everything I had seen in his bedroom and it had been equally hard not tonotice how the human girls checked him out. He turned the heads of the young and old in every shop we went into.

  And it had been damn near impossible not to want to tackle the chicks by the food court and rip their arms out.

  We’d ended our trip at a tiny ice-cream parlor in town, and as we walked back to the car, Dez had completed his condition. When he kissed me, he had tasted like chocolate and man, a mind-numbingly intoxicating flavor.

  He’d also stayed with me until he left to hunt with the rest of the clan, talking about nothing important while we pretended to watch a movie. No one bothered us even though I’d been in his room. I’d fallen asleep before it was time for him to leave and woke before he returned, scrambling back to my bedroom before I had done something stupid, like waited for him in his bed. It had been hard leaving. His scent had been everywhere.

  And now I was preparing to leave my home for the first time in forever. I’d never been anywhere before, and I’d already packed and unpacked three times. Why did I think I needed two outfit choices for each day?

  While we’d been at the mall the day before, Dez had announced that we’d be leaving the following afternoon and traveling by car. Excitement hummed in my veins at the prospect of all I would get to see.

  Danika sat on my suitcase while I zipped it shut and then she bounced off. “I expect mementos. Something cheesy. Like an authentic I Love New York City T-shirt.”

  “Okay.” I grinned as I pulled my suitcase off the bed. It thumped on the floor when I set it down. “What about from DC?”

  “A naked picture of Zayne?” she asked.

  I laughed, shaking my head. “And how do you expect me to pull that off?”

  She shrugged. “He’s got to take a shower at some point, right?”

  “I’m sure he does, but I have a tiny problem with Jasmine taking a picture of a guy naked.”

  We both turned at the sound of Dez’s voice. He stood in the doorway, hair damp and an easy grin on his face. I flushed, but Danika looked unrepentant.

  “But she’s doing it for me,” she reasoned. “It’s not like she’s going to be looking at his goods.”

  All I could think about was Dez’s goods.

  Dez’s brows rose. “No guy’s junk needs to be on display for her