Bitter Sweet Love

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  “Please, God?” The demon stepped toward us, cocking his head to the side. I’d been right about his beauty. It was unreal. Frightening in its sheer perfection. “Are you expecting a response? Because I’m going to go out on a limb and say he’s probably not listening.”

  The muscles under my hands tensed as Dez drew in a deep breath, but before he could speak, the demon chuckled darkly as he swaggered forward, paying no heed to those passing between us. And he didn’t need to. Humans seemed to sense that any contact with him would probably be their last. He parted the crowd on the sidewalk like a twisted version of Moses, stopping directly in front of us. He looked no older than me, but there was a worldliness in the way he held himself, in the odd glint of his eyes.

  “I don’t think your little friend is going anywhere,” he murmured, those amber eyes glowing slightly as he leaned to the side. He waved at me. “Hi, there.”

  Dez shifted, blocking me. “Look at her one more time and I will snap your head off your neck.”

  “Tsk, tsk, that isn’t how you talk to a stranger.” One side of his lips quirked up. “So rude.”

  People were starting to watch us. No way was this situation going to end well. I could already smell blood in the air.

  “I’m not playing with you.” Dez’s hands formed fists.

  “That’s good, because you’re the last thing I want to play with.”

  Dez stepped forward, going toe to toe with the demon. A shudder worked its way down his back. He was seconds from phasing.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t try that, you heavenly reject.” The confident smile remained fixed in place. “You go all Warden on me and then I’ll go all badass demon on you, and then oops.” His eyes widened. “All the little humans in the world will know they’re not alone. And I’m not talking about E.T. Unless that lumpy creature was really a demon.”

  For a second I thought Dez was going to say screw it and totally lose his head right there, and the demon’s smile stretched to epic levels. He spread his arms and curled his fingers back in the universal “come get some” sign. Along the underside of the demon’s biceps, the tattoo suddenly moved—the scales gliding over his skin as the tail disappeared under the sleeve of his dark shirt. Around the demon’s neck, black ink spread and the head of the snake appeared. One red eye shining like a ruby focused right on us.

  What in the holy Hell?

  Dez growled low in his throat. “You have no idea how badly I want to take you apart.”

  “What’s stopping you?” the demon shot back.

  He was purposely antagonizing Dez. Did he want exposure? I didn’t know what would happen if that occurred, but I was pretty sure it would involve the annihilation of both of our races.

  But this moment meant more to me on a personal level. An Upper Level demon had killed my mother and, as strong and cunning as Dez could be, he could fall to this one. I couldn’t stand here, cowering, and do nothing. I wasn’t a little girl anymore.

  I summoned my courage and grabbed hold of Dez’s arm. “What do you want?”

  “She speaks?” The demon laughed. “And here I thought all female Wardens were incapable of even forming a single thought without the aid of a male.”

  “Excuse me?” Disbelief gave way to anger.

  Dez held his arm out, keeping me from making my way around him. “I’m going to give you five seconds to get out of here.”

  The demon stood there as several heartbeats passed. “Five seconds are up. Next threat?”

  “Aren’t you a smart-ass,” Dez snapped.

  “Among many, many things.” The demon’s gaze seemed to find the tiniest part of me visible behind Dez. He sighed as his gaze softened. “I have no problems with the two of you, so...whatever.”

  Whatever? Had I heard him right?

  The Upper Level demon winked an amber-colored eye and then turned. Casting one last lingering look inside the ice-cream’ shop, he strolled away, humming under his breath. The melody poked around at my memory.

  “‘Paradise City’?” I said dumbly, stepping to stand beside Dez. “He’s humming a Guns N’ Roses song?”

  Dez didn’t respond, and I don’t even know why I was fixating on the song. Maybe it was shock from being this close to an Upper Level demon and then hearing him say he had “no problems” with us. He’d walked away. He’d walked away when the demon who killed my mother hadn’t.

  I had no idea what had just happened.

  Swallowing hard, I glanced at Dez. His body was trembling from the amount of control it took to stay where he was. The small crowd that had started to gather around us thinned out as interest was lost, but a few humans, ones who were clearly observant, were starting to look at us closely.

  “Dez?” I wrapped my hand around his forearm, feeling the tension in his muscles. “Are you going to go after him?”

  “I should—I need to.”

  The unspoken “but” was that all Wardens, no matter how ticked off they were or how big their egos could be, knew better than to try to take on an Upper Level demon alone, even one who had turned his back.

  Dez let out a ripe curse as he finally looked at me. “I need to warn Zayne.”

  “Okay.” I started to let go and then tightened my hold on his arm. “Wait.”

  “What?”

  I took a breath. “I don’t know, but it looked like he was watching them—watching Layla.”

  Dez glanced through the window to where the two were sitting. “If so, that’s not good. Not good at all.”

  Dez had pulled Zayne aside while I waited with Layla, and told him what had happened outside. The moment Dez had relayed my suspicion over what the Upper Level demon was doing, Zayne wanted to get Layla home.

  Nothing was said to her about why we all were heading back to the compound and she didn’t seem to suspect anything when Dez disappeared with Zayne to speak with Abbot. I followed Layla upstairs to her bedroom.

  The room was a mess. Books littered the floor. Mismatched socks peeked out from her dresser and under her desk, but the room was decked out in everything a girl could want—laptop, desktop, stereo, a huge TV and a closet overflowing with clothes. In the corner, a large handmade dollhouse was placed near the balcony doors and, at the head of the bed, nestled between a fleet of pillows, was a teddy bear that looked as if it had seen better days.

  Layla plopped down on the bed and bounced once before she crossed her legs. Hovering at the door, I couldn’t help but wonder why the demon had been so interested in her and Zayne.

  “It’s okay,” she said, planting her chin in her hands. “You don’t have to hang out with me.”

  I blinked. “I’m sorry about the way I acted when I first saw you.”

  She shrugged. “It’s no biggie.”

  Biting down on my lip, I joined her on the bed. “You get that a lot?”

  Layla laughed softly. “All the time. I can’t blame those who react that way. I am half demon.”

  “But you’re so...” What was the right word?

  “Awesome?” she answered, and then giggled. I smiled as she tugged her hair over her shoulder, twisting it. Danika did the same thing. “Can I ask you a question?”

  I tucked my knees to my chest. “Sure.”

  “Are you and Dez going to mate?” She paused. “Sorry. That’s probably none of my business. I just overheard some of the guys talking and I was curious. Abbot is always talking about mating and I hate the word. It’s so... I don’t know. Can’t he just say get married? He wants Zayne to ‘mate’ with Danika. He talks about it all—” She cut herself off and pink swept across her cheeks. “Anyway, is that what you guys are going to do?”

  “I...” I sure hadn’t been expecting that question. My cheeks heated as I focused on a crowded bookshelf. “It’s complicated.”

  “Complicated?” Her face screwed up thoughtfully. “Do you want to mate with him? Because if you don’t, you can say no, right? That’s how it works.”

  “Yes, but I... I don’t know.”
r />   She dropped her hair and the waves unfurled slowly. “Do you love him?”

  A pang hit my chest and the answer was right there, on the tip of my tongue. Instead, something totally different came out. “I’ve been in love with him since I was a kid, but he... he left me and he just now came back.” I couldn’t believe I was telling a thirteen-year-old this, but my mouth wouldn’t stop flapping. “And for three years I accepted that I’d never see him again and mating became something I didn’t even think about. I wasn’t prepared when he popped back into my life. I don’t know if I’m ready for everything that comes along with that.”

  “That had to be shocking, his coming back like that.” Layla scooted closer and lowered her voice. “But he cares about you—loves you.”

  I looked at her sharply and found that I really couldn’t say anything.

  “It’s the way he looks at you. He watched you the entire time we were out and on the way back. Even when he left with Zayne, he was watching you. It’s... romantic.”

  I jerked back in surprise. “He’s never said the words.”

  “Have you?”

  “No.”

  Layla laughed. “Then why should he be the first? I mean, let’s take out the whole mating crap. Is he someone you want? Do you still love him?” she asked, her tone urgent. “Do you?”

  “Yes.” I whispered the word, afraid it would be overheard, but dammit, it was already out there. Once something was spoken, it was true. No takebacks.

  “Then there’s your answer, because that seems to be the most important thing. I mean, if he loves you and you love him, he’ll wait and everything will work itself out.”

  I glanced at her, exhaling slowly. I still couldn’t believe I was talking to her about this, but the girl, no matter how young she was, was saying some pretty wise stuff. “You really think that?”

  “Yes.” Layla’s lips spread, and once more, I was transfixed by her smile. “Nothing in this world is stronger than love. It should always be enough, no matter what.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Pressure clamped down on my chest and a ball formed in my throat. There were so many knots in my stomach, threatening to tie me up.

  I’d been pacing the length of my room since I’d left Layla. My thoughts were all over the place, which had made it impossible for me to sit still. I couldn’t stop thinking about Layla and the fact that she would never know love—not really, not like I would one day, no matter what I decided. She could never truly get close to another person. She could never kiss. Love had been forbidden to her and that was so unfair. And I couldn’t stop thinking about what she had said.

  Love would always be enough, no matter what.

  And I did love Dez. I was in love with him.

  I don’t know what exactly had made up my mind. There were a lot of things I wasn’t ready for, but there was one thing I was.

  Footsteps in the hallway caught my attention. Heart leaping in my chest, I froze—and then I sprang forward, rushing to the door. Popping my head out in the hall, I saw Dez.

  He stopped, surprised. “Hey.”

  “I was... I was waiting for you.” God, I sounded like an idiot. I started backing up as he came into my room. “What did Abbot say about the demon?”

  “He’s concerned. It’s abnormal for an Upper Level demon to do nothing but talk smack and then walk off. They’re going out tonight to hunt him down.” He closed the door and leaned against it, folding his arms. “Obviously, the punk is up to something. They want to find out what.”

  “Are you going out with them?”

  “I should, but I think before we got distracted, you wanted to talk. And right now that’s more important.”

  As his words sank in, I realized he was putting me before his duty. He had been for seven days. Catering to me. Playing babysitter. Following me around while I did a whole lot of nothing, and he hadn’t complained once. Even enjoyed himself because he... he had been with me.

  Lifting my gaze, I could barely speak around my pounding heart. “I wanted to say that these... these seven days have been amazing.”

  “Including Herbert?”

  I laughed. “Yes, even Herbert.”

  Doubt crossed his striking features. “Even though you didn’t get to see DC or hunt a demon?”

  “I was telling you the truth. Those things don’t really matter.” I stopped, taking a deep breath. “Maybe they did before, but I don’t know what I was trying to do. Maybe delay the inevitable? Because I—”

  “Wait.” He held up a hand, stretching the cotton shirt across his shoulders. “Before you tell me what I know you’re going to tell me, I need to tell you something.”

  “But how do you know what I’m going to tell you?”

  He laughed dryly. “I know, Jas.”

  There was such obvious resignation in his voice that I squared my shoulders. “What do you want to tell me?”

  “What I should’ve told you the first night I came back.” He cocked his head back against the door. Several seconds passed. “I should’ve said goodbye, but I didn’t. That was a gigantic mistake—one I can’t fix. And I know I made another by not being honest with you when I returned. I just didn’t want you to know the truth.”

  Those words were forbidding. “The truth about why you left?”

  He nodded.

  A shiver coursed over my shoulders. “Well, if you didn’t want me to know, I’m pretty sure I can figure it out. I mean, you were eighteen, so I assume you were out doing your thing.”

  Dez lowered his chin and pushed off the door. “My thing?”

  There was a note of warning in his voice. Sometimes I needed to just shut up. This was one of those moments. Of course, my mouth kept moving. “Yeah, you know. Hooking up. Sowing your wild oats. Getting laid. Whatever.”

  “Are you serious?”

  I shrugged.

  “There hasn’t been a single female I’ve thought about, let alone wanted to hook up with,” he said. “What I did when I left didn’t involve anything like that, Jasmine.”

  I thought about the night in the hotel and my body flushed. He had to have experience, lots of experience.

  “I wasn’t with anyone during that time,” he added.

  I snorted. “Yeah, I’m not stupid, Dez.”

  Anger flashed across his face as he stormed forward. “There’re a lot of things you could say about me, but I have never lied to you. I’m not lying to you now. I stayed true to you! This whole time! There has been no one else!”

  I opened my mouth to argue, but his words sank in through the anger and confusion. My heart was like a balloon straining to float away. “Wh-what?”

  Dez stared at me, his eyes now shining a brilliant blue. Two pink circles appeared on his cheeks and then he looked away, shoving a hand through his hair. “I haven’t been with anyone, Jasmine. Not like that.”

  “Why?” I blurted out the question before I could stop myself, and the look he gave me said he wondered what was wrong with me. But I couldn’t comprehend that he had been with no one—no other female of our kind or human. It wasn’t as if he’d been hurting for attention. Females would cut off their left legs to be with him.

  He blew out a deep breath as he dropped his hand. “I couldn’t.”

  “You couldn’t?” I stepped closer.

  “No. It wouldn’t have been right.”

  I stopped, holding my hands pressed tightly against my chest as if I could stop my heart from jumping out of it. “Because mating with me was a duty, or—”

  “Don’t put words in my mouth.” He prowled forward, stopping just in front of me. Air halted in my lungs as he dipped his head, his mouth inches from mine. “What is between us has nothing to do with duty or an obligation to mate and procreate. It’s only about us.”

  My eyes widened. “It is?”

  He placed a large hand on my cheek. “I wasn’t with anyone else because I couldn’t be. I didn’t want to be, because I always knew I was going to come back to you. Th
ere was never a doubt in my mind.”