A Heart's War (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 5)

by Carey Decevito

  “I’ve been busy,” I defended. “My latest client is being a tad difficult.” There was no way I was bringing up my attraction toward Morgan or the fucked up way we were linked to one another. That would just invite a slew of disapprovals and snide comments from my father and I really didn’t need that today.

  After Dad left, Paxton stopped drilling screws into the subflooring board he was securing and turned to me. “So dish. What’s been going on with you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t play coy,” he said. “You look like you haven’t slept in days and when Dad asked you questions earlier, it seemed like you were giving him the run-around.”

  I groaned. “What is this, the Grand Inquisition?”

  “I know something’s up, T.”

  I sighed. “It’s just the job. I’m working on a large project, a total facelift and then some.”

  “Yeah, that’s not it.” Paxton sized me up and continued. “There’s more to it than that.”

  “What’s it matter?” I asked. “A woman asked me to do some work on her house after it was flooded.”

  He chuckles. “A woman! Now we’re getting somewhere.”

  Groaning, I flipped him the bird. “Fuck off. Do you want to know the story or not?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Go ahead.”

  I told Paxton about Morgan, her house woes, and the fact that not only had I gotten a large job that would generate funding that would keep me going for the next six months, but that I had also inherited an apprentice of sorts.

  The man laughed. “So she wants you to teach her how to fix things?”

  Shrugging, I said, “Basically,” and found total concentration on the joist I was reinforcing.

  “Bro, you can stare at that screw all day, it isn’t going to screw itself, you know.” His voice held far too much humor. “There’s something more with this chick, isn’t there?”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Well, that hitch in your voice for one proves it, and you haven’t been able to look me straight in the eyes since you started talking about the specifics of that job. You’re interested in her, aren’t you?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Morgan’s untouchable.” I wasn’t about to let my brother know that despite the fact I labeled her as such, that I had definitely done some touching, and it hadn’t been as thorough as I would have liked.

  “Morgan…” Paxton rolled her name off his tongue, trying it on for size. “You mean your neighbour, the one Mom bumped into the other day?”

  I ran my hand through my hair and huffed. “Christ, I forgot how fast news travels around here.”

  “When Mom’s got something to do with it, yeah, you know it.” He laughed, his gaze one of understanding. I could see the wheels turning in that head of his. “So why is she untouchable?”

  I knew he wasn’t going to leave it alone, but I had to get him to drop it. “P, there’re so many reasons I shouldn’t go there, so let’s just leave it, okay?” I snapped.

  “Yeah, yeah.” He turned back to his work and said over his shoulder, “You know I’m here to talk to if you need it, right?”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  Chapter 15

  By late Sunday morning, the joists were stable, the subfloor was down, my kitchen and entryway tile was on order. While I could have taken some time to relax and enjoy my weekend accomplishments, I found myself in the front yard, tending to some outdoor chores, instead of getting started on installing the main floor carpeting, since the weather was so nice.

  I managed to clear the overgrown rose and other assorted bushes and weeds from the gardens, but not without a few battle wounds from the deadwood and sharp thorns. Hell, I’m sure an untamed barn cat would have done far less damage, what with the way my forearms looked.

  Backing up a few dozen feet, I took in the look of the front of my house. Despite the serious need for some scraping and paint, the place was now looking more like a neglected home as opposed to a condemned one.

  Time for the lawn. I was going to need my brother’s riding mower at the length the grass was at.

  Paxton and I had just finished loading the mower into the back of his truck when I saw someone making their way up the drive on foot.

  When the tailgate was put in place, my brother turned around to see where my eyes were aimed, and emitted a low whistle. The sight of a tight white tank top and faded cut-offs that bared legs that seemed a mile long made my heart race, and a knot formed in my throat.

  “Wow!” Morgan said, still at a distance.

  “Morgan Smyth?” Paxton blurted out.

  “You know her?” I turned to my brother, keeping things quiet, since she was still out of earshot.

  He nodded. “Yeah, she does some floral work for Allie every now and again, but I’ve never seen this version of her. What’s she doing here?” I ignored his question, my eyes turning back to the woman quickly approaching. Damn, she was hot, but what the hell was she doing back so soon?

  “Hey, Pax.” She graced him with a grin.

  He nodded. “What are you doing here?”

  “We’re neighbours,” Morgan said at the same time I replied with, “She’s a client.”

  “Well, both really.” Her gaze trailed me from bottom to top, stopping to meet my eyes and holding them for a moment. My gaze wandered to her lips when her pink tongue jetted out to moisten them.

  Some time passed before I heard Paxton clear his throat. “Okay then.” I turned to look at him briefly before glancing in Morgan’s direction again. “I’ll see you in a few hours, right?”

  “Yeah,” I said, unable to break the connection I had with the woman in front of me. “Need me to bring anything?”

  He laughed. “Just your appetite.” My head snapped in my brother’s direction as he opened the driver’s side door. “Behave.” I gave him the stink eye when he winked at me, only to turn to face Morgan, witnessing a subtle blush fading. “Good to see you again, Morgan. Stop by some time. You know it doesn’t always have to be about business, right?” The woman nodded. “Later, T.”

  “What are you doing here?” I asked as Paxton’s truck turned down the road and kicked up some rocks when he hit the accelerator hard.

  “I wanted to apologize for how I was on Thursday. And thank you.”

  “It’s what you hired me to do.”

  “You were right, though.”

  “About?”

  “The house does look much more authentic with your design.” I nodded. “I mean, I knew it would by the drawings, but seeing it in the light of day…”

  Seconds trickled by and nothing more was said. Awkwardness rolled around us as we evidently had both chosen to ignore the proverbial elephant in the room.

  “Listen,” she started. “I-”

  “Morgan, I can’t talk right now,” I snapped. “I need to get myself cleaned up and get to my brother’s.”

  “Right.” Was she disappointed? “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She turned and started to make her way back down where she’d come from.

  “Ah, fuck,” I mumbled, and my feet took action. “Morgan, wait.” I set my hand on her shoulder.

  Bowing her head, she said, “We need to talk,” then turned to face me, her eyes never quite meeting mine.

  I cleared the lump in my throat as she stepped forward. “I know.” I looked down at her.

  “We can’t ignore what happened, Theo.”

  “No, we can’t.” I would have loved to say that we could, just to avoid the damning conversation that would most likely have her hate me, not to mention possibly fire me, but I couldn’t.

  Morgan’s hands landed on my chest as she drew closer and I groaned. This woman was going to kill me long before my time. For a tiny sprite, she sure knew how to turn me inside out by just breathing. My hands moved to her hips and held her in place as we stood there, looking at each other.

  “Theo?”

  “Hmm?”

  In a split second, her
hands wrapped themselves around my neck, pulling me in for a kiss I should have put a stop to, but once again, didn’t. I chose to ignore all of the red flags inside my head, waving reminders of how I would ruin her, that I wasn’t worthy. I was too far gone, too lost in the feel of the tiny woman I held against me – her smell, her taste, the peace being around her brought to my soul.

  “Thank you,” she whispered against my lips before giving me a quick peck and backing away. I let my arms fall away from her, dumbfounded by what had just transpired, as she walked past me and back to where she’d come from.

  I turned to follow her progress, entranced by the sway of her hips, her golden, almost white hair flowing in the breeze.

  Letting out a long breath, I willed my heart to slow, my breathing to calm, not to mention my dick to go down. My eyes stayed on Morgan until she’d reached the end of the drive and turned to wave. Waving back, I could no longer ignore the truth. This wasn’t regular attraction I was feeling. If it was, I would have been able to keep her away. There was more to Morgan and me, and that more was something I apparently couldn’t control.

  You’re royally fucked now, buddy.

  Chapter 16

  I parked the truck in Paxton’s driveway and found myself tackled by a rambunctious six-year-old Jasper.

  “Hey, buddy.” I ruffled my nephew’s hair as he clung to my waist.

  “Where’s Morgan?”

  “Your dad’s worse than your grandmother,” I grumbled.

  “Mommy Allie says that you two make a great couple.”

  My eyes rolled. “And she would know,” I said under my breath.

  “Huh?”

  “Never mind.” I gave the kid a light pat on his back.

  Jasper led me by the hand up the steps, through the front door, and toward the commotion in the kitchen where I knew everyone was congregated.

  As we passed by the den, I spotted Alissa on the phone. She stood sideways to me and startled, her eyes widening when she saw me standing there in the entranceway to the room.

  The woman was up to something if that blush of hers was anything to go by. Testing my theory, I crossed my arms and leaned my shoulder onto the wall, my brow arched as I listened in.

  “Uh, huh…yeah…It’s okay,” she said in a hushed tone. “Listen, maybe next time… Yeah. Well, he’s here.” Her blush deepened. My brother was right. Alissa was cute when she grew shy. “You sure you don’t want to pop on by?” She paused to listen to the person on the end of the phone. “Okay…okay, I got it… Like I said, next time.”

  She turned her back to put the phone back on its cradle and took a deep breath.

  “How’s Morgan?” I asked.

  She spun around, her mouth dropped. “How’d-?”

  “I had my suspicion, but you just confirmed it.” Pushing off the wall, I moved toward her. “Listen, I don’t need you playing match-maker, all right?”

  “I thought you liked her?”

  “I do. I mean, she’s a client, she’s nice and all…” make that sexy and frustrating, and I’m all kinds of wrong for her. If my rambling continued, I would be providing her with enough ammunition to keep doing what I had just advised her not to. So I stopped talking.

  “So?”

  I ran my hand through my hair and down my face. I had to stop this. “Listen, Allie. I know you think you’re doing something good here, but I just can’t.”

  “I’m not doing anything.”

  “Right.” I straightened my stance and my eyes told her to prove my suspicions wrong.

  “I just thought…”

  “It doesn’t matter. Morgan’s a client. That’s all it can ever be.”

  “Sure.” She walked up to me, her eyes softening. Squeezing my arm with sisterly tenderness, she made to study my face. “Listen, I may not know all that you’ve been through, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that it’s been a tough go for you, and I’m sure my assessment is grossly understated. But Theo, you shouldn’t let what you’ve been through get in the way of your happiness. Life’s too short.”

  The woman retracted her hand and snuck past me, heading straight for the commotion in the kitchen.

  I made to follow, only for the boisterous noise of my family to subside and leave us all surrounded with nothing but silence. I looked at the faces staring back at me. Alissa looked indifferent and avoided my gaze by mooning over her daughter. Paxton looked between his wife and me with confusion, which was quickly replaced by a sly grin. Mom seemed a little overly cheerful, and Dad was just typical Dad with his stoic and unreadable expression.

  “Cut the crap guys,” I said and pointed at my brother. “I know he told you what he thinks is going on.”

  “I think it’s fantastic!” Mom clapped her hands together as she approached to give me a hug. “I should have known when I saw her bringing you soup the other day.”

  “You should have seen them this afternoon.” Paxton’s grin only widened. “She’s not just your client, and I think you’re underplaying how you feel about her.”

  “Pax.” Allie turned a warning gaze onto her husband.

  “Leave the man alone, you two.” I couldn’t recall the last time my father had taken my side. I guess times have changed. “He’s a grown man, he can make his own mind up about women. God only knows he’s been around enough of them to know what he wants.”

  Okay, so maybe they hadn’t changed that much, because there it was; the disapproving jab that was covered by sarcasm. He hadn’t lost his touch, only finessed it. The man covered it up enough to know that only I would sense the sting, but one look toward Paxton told me that he’d caught on to our father’s antics.

  “No different than how I was back then, Dad,” he said.

  “Yeah, but-”

  “Dad,” he warned.

  “Let’s just drop it, all right?” I approached my sister-in-law. “Now, how’s my beautiful princess?” I took the baby from her arms and cradled her in mine. “You’re just as beautiful as your mama, you know that?” I nuzzled the fine hair that met her hairline and inhaled the baby powder scent. She was so tiny, so innocent.

  The minuscule body I held in my arms made it hard to believe that those I had fought against had once been as innocent as she was. My mood darkened with the sheer memory of what I’d witnessed in my time away. Kids being used as weapons. Tiny soldiers that ended lives, including their own, for a cause they were told to believe in, but didn’t truly understand.

  I hadn’t noticed Abigail’s squirming or the plaintive sounds she emitted until Paxton’s hand squeezed my arm. “You okay, bro?”

  Feeling the shakes coming on, my vision fading in its periphery, I nodded. “Here, take her.” I handed him his daughter. “I need some air.”

  Looking over at my mother whose gaze was filled with concern, then my father who was studying me, I avoided Alissa’s gaze and rushed out the back door, ignoring my family’s pleas that I stay and talk.

  Chapter 17

  My appetite had left, the urge to run had hit, and loneliness had set in. I wondered how long it would be before someone came out to find me by the man-made pond. The view of the setting sun fading behind the treeline of the woods that backed my brother’s property helped me center myself and regain some semblance of control over my thoughts.

  Leaning forward with my elbows on my knees, I sensed Paxton’s presence. Without turning, a humorless laugh escaped me. “Seems like yesterday you and me were fighting over Suzie Quincy.”

  “You should see her now.” Paxton dropped to the bench beside me, leaning back.

  I peered at him from the corner of my eye. “Still hot?”

  “Not.” I chuckled at the face he made. Silence stemmed between us, only interrupted by the sounds of nature. “What happened back there?”

  I let out a loud breath and felt myself deflate. Bowing my head, I shook it from side to side. “Old memories.”

  “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

  “It’s not
that easy, P.”

  He pointed out the obvious. “You kind of freaked everyone out back there. I think we… No, I deserve to know what’s going on with you, T. One minute you’re holding Abbie like she’s precious cargo, and the next, the look on your face-”

  My temper flared. “What?”

  “If looks couldn’t kill, your grip on her surely would have done it eventually.”

  “What are you saying? You don’t want me around your kids? I can’t say that I blame you.”

  Paxton cut me off. “That’s not what I’m saying at all and you know it! Stop jumping down my throat. I’m not Dad. In case you haven’t noticed, Jasper worships the ground you walk on and Abigail…” He groaned his frustration. “You’ve been out of our lives long enough. It’s time for you to get out of that rut of yours.”

  “And how do you suppose I do that, huh?” Rage overwhelmed me and I shot to my feet, keeping my back to him. “You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

  “You’re right, I don’t. So why don’t you explain it to me?”

  I turned sharply to face him and my rage dissipated to a manageable level. Maybe I should.

  Something told me that if anyone would understand where I was coming from, outside of the military, it would be my brother. Paxton wouldn’t judge me; if anything, he’d defend me like he always has.

  My voice came out sounding hoarse. “The things I saw, the things I did over there, P…” I swallowed the ever-growing lump in my throat. “No one should go through that.”

  “I think we can both agree that everyone here at home knows that you’ve seen and done things that are far from honorable to make ends meet, things that chip away at the humanity inside of you.”

  I nodded and met his gaze, mine hardening. “You’re right.” Gritting the next words through my teeth, I asked, “Tell me, little brother, have you ever taught Jasper how to use a gun?”

  “What’s this got to-?” He clued in almost immediately as to what caused my earlier behavior and his mouth snapped shut.

  “What would you do, how would you deal, if your son turned around on you with an automatic rifle and shot your family to death in front of your eyes, all because it was a rite of passage, a proof of his loyalty?