by Zuri Day
“About not going with his coach on that trip to Oakland. He’s been in his room all evening, not even coming out for dinner. I tried to get him to eat, but he’s locked the door.”
“Thanks, Tessa. I appreciate it. You can go home now. I’ll take it from here.”
After seeing Tessa out and locking the door, Dominique mounted the stairs. She hesitated a brief moment at Justin’s door, and then knocked softly. “Hey, baby.”
No answer.
“Justin?”
Silence.
Dominique tried the door. “Justin, open the door.”
“I don’t want to. Go away!”
Dominique’s eyes widened as she looked at the mahogany wood that separated her from her heartbeat. Did my eleven-year-old angel just tell the person who paid mortgage on this door to go away from it? Dominique understood Justin being upset, but she was still Mama and this was still her house.
“Justin, open this door. Don’t make me ask again!” Losing her patience, Dominique rapped on the door. “Justin!”
Seconds later, the door opened. Without looking at or speaking to his mother, Justin skulked back to his bed and plopped down on it.
Dominique took a deep breath and stepped inside the room. “Justin,” she began calmly, “what’s wrong?”
Justin grabbed a pillow from his bed, hugged it to his chest, and kept sulking.
Dominique walked over to where Justin was and sat. She reached down, took off her heels, and moved farther onto the bed. “Something happen at school today?” Instead of going from what she knew, Dominique figured she’d start dealing with this from her son’s point of view.
“Coach picked four boys to go to a Raiders game. He didn’t pick me.” A solitary tear rolled down Justin’s face, which otherwise was fixed in a fierce scowl.
Dominique’s heart broke.
She knew she had to tell the truth. She couldn’t have her son feeling like he was unwanted. But where to begin? “Baby, how did you hear about the trip? Did Jake tell you?”
Justin shook his head. “No, Travis did. He wasn’t supposed to say anything but he thought I was going, so he told me.”
Oh, Lord. What have I done? “Justin, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Justin’s eyes rose to meet hers—sad, searching.
“I know about the trip to Oakland. Jake called and told me about it.”
“Did he tell you why he didn’t pick me? I scored two touchdowns last weekend. Mom, I work harder than everybody!”
Dominique reached out and placed her hand on Justin’s leg. She was thankful when he didn’t flinch or pull away. “It wasn’t Jake, baby. He asked me if you could travel to Oakland.”
A smile broke through the storm that was Justin’s countenance. “Yes!” he exclaimed, rising to his knees. “So I get to go see the Raiders?”
“I told Jake that you couldn’t go.”
“Why, Mom?” Justin jumped off of the bed. “Why did you say I can’t go?”
“I just didn’t think it was a good idea. Oakland is so far, and you wouldn’t get back until late. I didn’t know who all would be going...” As she rambled on, the excuses sounded lame to Dominique’s own ears.
“But it’s the Raiders, Mom. My favorite team!”
“I know, baby. We’ll go another time.”
“I don’t want to go another time! I want to go now!”
“I’m sorry, Justin.” Dominique stood and reached for her son.
“No, you’re not!” he yelled, running to the other side of the room. “It’s your fault. You said I can’t go! You’re mad at Coach and taking it out on me!”
“Baby, that’s not true.”
“It is, too!”
“Why would you think I’m mad at him?”
“Because he hasn’t been over here again. Probably because he don’t like you no more.”
Dominique pondered where this statement had come from but chose to keep the focus on the issue at hand. “Let me call Jake, see what I can do.”
Dominique left Justin’s room and walked to the master suite at the end of the hall. She went straight to the phone and dialed Jake’s number. That it went to voicemail wasn’t a total surprise. Even if he were home and available, she hadn’t been the friendliest person lately. She pressed the pound key to bypass the message. “Jake, it’s Dominique. I’m sorry about the interruption earlier, but it was an important phone call. Listen, I’m calling about the Oakland trip. Maybe I spoke too soon about Justin not going. Can you give me a call when you get this message, and tell me more about the trip? He’s pretty upset, as you can imagine. So I hope to hear from you soon.”
Dominique pressed the end button and walked to her closet where she made quick work of shedding her clothes. From there she entered her bathroom, turned on the water full blast, and stepped into the shower. She took her time soaping her body, inhaling the citrusy scent. She casually rubbed the loofah sponge over her body, paying keen attention to her elbows, knees, and feet. By the time she left the shower fifteen minutes later, she felt a little more relaxed.
She walked over to the phone and was glad to see a missed call from Jake and her voicemail indicator lit. She sat on her bed and pushed the button.
Jake’s voice came through the speaker, strong and matter-of-fact. “Dominique, it’s Jake. Got your message. You were the first person I called about this trip. Unfortunately I only had eight passes and all of the spaces have been filled. I can’t believe that you’d let a beef with me get in the way of something for Justin.” There was a short pause before he continued, and Dominique thought she detected a sigh. “Between me and you, there might be another opportunity. At the end of the season, I’m hoping to take the entire team on a bus trip to one of the final games. It won’t be quite the same as this one, with the boys in the suite, but it will still be a good time. But I don’t know if the trip will get approved, so don’t tell Justin.”
The call ended with that last sentence. No “Good-bye,” “Call me later,” or huskily delivered terms of endearment. Since Justin had sought Jake’s counsel, she’d been subconsciously—and sometimes not so subconsciously—pushing Jake away, putting the brakes on the relationship (which she wouldn’t call a relationship), and throwing up one defense after another. It looked like Jake had gotten the message. Now, unfortunately, Dominique realized that the distance she’d created was not at all what she wanted.
30
As had often been the case, for the rest of the week work was Dominique’s saving grace. Throughout the day, she was too busy to focus on Justin’s unhappiness. But that only left the other twelve to fourteen hours in the day. Even though he’d perked up a bit after Dominique promised him a chance to see his favorite team play—without divulging that this would be with his classmates—he still spent a lot of time in his room. After the incident with Michael, Dominique had had parental controls installed on Justin’s computer and hoped that there was no way he could work his way around them. From the couple times she’d checked, she knew he erased his cookies. There were other ways to delve into the computer’s history, but so far she hadn’t gone to those measures. But he’d been so unhappy and so uncharacteristically quiet that Dominique would have almost allowed him a peek at a boob. Almost. But not quite.
Now it was Friday afternoon, and the craze of the week had subsided to a steadier pulse. It had been an intense five days, so much of the staff had kicked off early meetings for drinks at the nearby P. F. Changs. Dominique had declined the invitation, choosing instead to finish the edit she was working on before heading home. She was well aware of the fact that her Saturday mornings had become more exciting than her Friday nights and that her anticipation of tomorrow’s game had little to do with the boys on the field but a lot to do with their coach. It would be the first time she’d seen Jake in a week. She hadn’t talked to him in three days, since she’d passed on his offer to take Justin to the football game. God only knows how this will turn out.
“Miss
Dom.” Reggie’s voice coming through the intercom roused Dominique from her musings.
“Yes, Reggie.”
“What time is the game tomorrow?”
A big smile spread across Dominique’s face. “You’re coming with me?”
“I sure am! Making up for your giving me last Monday morning off. Plus I’m guessing you could use the support.”
Dominique had shared with Reggie what was going on with Justin, without totally revealing her part in his heartache. Telling him everything would reveal that their conversation had played a part in her decision to keep Justin home. She figured that one person feeling bad was enough. Especially now, when he was coming through as the friend that he was. “Reggie, you’re a sweetheart. The game starts at noon but let’s go to your favorite place for their champagne brunch.” Dominique had already decided that tomorrow she’d work from home.
“Sounds like a plan, but who’s the designated driver?”
“We’ll use the company town car.”
The next day, Dominique and Reggie walked the short distance from their chauffeured car to the stadium bleachers. They were both feeling all warm and fuzzy after several mimosas accompanied their breakfast fare and Reggie, relishing a rare Saturday off, had added a couple shots of Patron Silver to the mix.
“Where’s that fine coach?” Reggie asked, tossing a bright pink cashmere scarf over his shoulder and hitting the tight-lipped man behind him in the face. “What do we do?”
Dominique finished the team’s oft-stated chant. “We tear it up!”
“Tear it up, baby!” Reggie exclaimed, giving Dominique a high five. “Ooh, there he is,” he whispered a moment later, when Jake and the coaches came off the bench. “Girl... that man is Grade A prime beef, USDA approved!”
“You’re so bad,” Dominique said, swatting Reggie playfully on the arm. She looked up in time to see Jake’s frown before he turned away from her. But there was no chance to ponder the scowl and its meaning. Several raucous spectators began to chant: Through hail, snow, sleet, rain... we are the Hurricanes! It was time to play ball!
The Hurricanes took the field, and even though the game was a rout, with the Hurricanes winning 21–0, it was still a welcome diversion. Reggie’s ongoing commentary about everything from the cheerleaders’ less-than-creative chants to the referees he thought over-the-hill, and his commenting on the spectators’ wardrobes as if they were in a fashion show, kept Dominique laughing, thinking about the game and not about the conversation she’d have to have when it was over. Especially with her son, who’d delivered a lackluster performance at best. It was the first game where he hadn’t made a touchdown, and he’d fumbled the ball twice. She had drilled the lesson of excellence and doing one’s best in her son’s head since he was a toddler. Being unhappy with what life had handed him was no reason to—no pun intended—drop the ball.
“Come on, Reggie,” Dominique said, once the game ended. “Time to enter the fray and try and talk to the coach.”
“Miss Dom,” Reggie yelled into Dominique’s ear, “Quinn has been blowing up my phone. I’ll wait for you in the car.”
“Okay,” Dominique replied, noting that her voice faltered a bit. “I’ll only be a minute.”
Dominique and her four-inch heels made their way down the steps and onto the field. As usual, Jake was surrounded by his adoring public, and the reporter who’d interviewed him a week ago was front and center. Moving with purpose and determination, Dominique eased her way into the tight circle.
“Jake, can I speak with you?” she asked, once she’d reached his side.
“I’m kinda busy right now, Dominique,” he responded.
“I know, but I want to talk to you about Justin. He played so poorly today.”
As he turned to look at her dead in the eye, Jake’s chocolate orbs were like lasers straight into Dominique’s heart. “He’s upset, Dominique. And I think you know why.” Jake turned to shake the hands of a few parents who’d gathered around him, and then before Dominique could try and reclaim the conversation, Madison, the reporter whose ex-husband had played with Jake in the NFL, was pushing up on him. Dominique watched Jake step away from the crowd so that his answers would be picked up by her microphone, noted how being the gentleman that he was, he took Madison’s elbow and gently guided her over the rough spots in the field. The look of admiration in the woman’s eyes as she looked up at Jake wasn’t lost on Dominique, who wondered if she’d ever looked at Jake with the true admiration that until recently she’d always felt. Or had she felt it, she wondered. Had she given Jake his due, or terribly underestimated his worth?
31
Until now, Dominique hadn’t realized this awful truth: weekends sucked. Even though she was pretty much caught up, she buried herself in work on Saturday and, after Anita picked up Justin, accepted a dinner invitation from a casual friend, a colleague who worked at another magazine, just to not be sitting at home alone and lonely on Saturday night.
By Sunday, she’d run out of busywork. She called Anita and found out that Faith and Aaron had taken the boys to Knotts Berry Farm and not only that, were planning to bring Justin home after their outing. This took away the one time-consuming task Dominique had to look forward to... driving to Inglewood to pick up her son. After doing several activities that were totally unlike her, including reading the LA Times online and watching a movie on Lifetime, Dominique was ready to climb the walls. It was three o’clock, and a rumbling stomach reminded her that she’d only had a bagel, an apple, and a glass of juice all day. Dominique went downstairs and looked in the fridge. Nothing there to spark her interest. She browsed through the half dozen takeout menus in one of the kitchen drawers. None of the cultures represented—from Italian to Chinese, Indian to Mexican—sounded good. Maybe it’s because I’ve been eating out all week, Dominique decided. Maybe I’ll go to the store and get the makings for a nice, big, healthy salad. The sound of Justin’s voice immediately popped into her head. “Coach says there should always be something green, yellow, and orange on your plate.” When it came to her son’s nutrition, Dominique had tried to do better, and Tessa was a big help. Still, she’d be the first person to admit that there was still a considerable distance between herself and Suzy Homemaker.
Fifteen minutes later, Dominique pulled into the Whole Foods parking lot. She got a cart and entered the store, heading for the organic produce aisle. After placing salad fixings in her basket, she browsed the lane, picking up veggies she’d never heard of and fresh herbs which, to her knowledge, she’d never tried. After deciding on a bleu cheese dressing that would probably not meet with the approval of Justin’s coach, Dominique was on her way to get croutons and a few more items when she heard her name.
“Dominique?”
She turned and saw a woman that looked vaguely familiar. “Hello.”
“I’m Kathy, Travis’s mom. We met a couple weeks ago when your son came over for pizza.”
“Of course,” Dominique replied, smiling as she wheeled her cart back to where Kathy was standing. “How are you doing?”
“Great,” Kathy said. “Especially since I have the house all to myself. Travis and his dad are in Oakland, and my parents picked up Sarah for a day at the beach. It’s been so long since I’ve had ‘me’ time that I hardly know what to do!”
“So Travis went to Oakland for the Raiders game? You didn’t have any qualms about letting your son take the trip?”
“Why would I, especially since his dad was invited as well?”
“Oh, your husband accompanied your son on the trip.”
“Yes. Coach had eight passes to the game and all the special events, so he invited four students and one parent of each.” Kathy’s expression turned quizzical. “But then again, I’m sure you know this since Justin is in Oakland.”
Dominique’s newly found comfort zone was immediately replaced by the slightly queasy feeling that she’d endured all week. “Uh, no. Justin is at Knotts Berry Farm with my sister and her famil
y.”
“Wow. Knotts Berry is a great amusement park but I’m surprised that Justin turned down a chance to cheer for the silver and black! I even wanted to go, but with Ian being a football fanatic that decision was never up for discussion.”
“Who’s Ian?”
“Oh, my husband, the guy who’s always yelling ‘Tear it up’ at the top of his lungs.”
“Ah, yes. I’ve heard him.”
“Trust me... everybody’s heard him. Anyway, he’s there along with three other parents and a local reporter who’s doing a documentary on Coach. When it comes to men, he’s one of the good ones. Isn’t it incredible what he’s doing for the boys?”
“Yes, it’s... great.” With each comment that Kathy so happily delivered, Dominique’s spirits sank. Parents had been invited along on the trip? Was she to have been included in Jake’s invite to Oakland? Dominique thought back to Jake’s happy mood when he’d called her last Tuesday, asking what she and Justin would be doing the following weekend. Both of them—she and Justin. Suddenly, Dominique’s voracious appetite escaped her. All week she’d had a niggling feeling that turning down Jake’s invitation had been a huge mistake. Now... she was sure of it.
“I’ve messed up.” Dominique was back at home, in the kitchen, the salad fixings that she’d purchased sitting untouched on the island. As soon as she’d gotten in the house, she’d phoned her sister, Faith.
“What? Nikki, we’re in the arcade and I can barely hear you.”
“I said I messed up!” Dominique yelled. “Big time!”
Faith heard the panic in Dominique’s voice, a rare occurrence. “Wait a minute.”
Dominique heard Faith mumble something, presumably to Aaron. Moments later, the din of the arcade receded as Faith obviously had stepped outside.
“Okay, Nikki. What’s wrong?”
“Faith, I’ve totally misjudged Jake and I stopped Justin from going on a field trip.”
“He told us.”
“He did? What did he say?”