by Zuri Day
“That he was supposed to go to a Raiders game but you wouldn’t let him. He was quiet last night, didn’t play much with Michael at all. But he’s doing better now. A couple turns on the roller coasters loosened him up.”
Dominique felt herself get teary. If there was one thing she didn’t like it was the thought of her son being unhappy. “This is all my fault,” she said softly.
“Why didn’t you let him go, Nikki?”
Dominique told Faith about Jake’s conversation with Justin, of which he refused to share the details, the subsequent strain on their relationship, and Justin’s comment about being Jake’s son. “He called me at work, in the middle of a busy day. I told him no on the trip before giving him a chance to fully explain it. Was I wrong, Faith? I know I was wrong about the trip, and feel so badly that I deprived Justin of what I now know was an awesome opportunity. But as a mother, don’t I have the right to protect my son’s feelings, and to know what he and Jake talked about?”
“Tell me this, Nikki. Do you trust Jake?”
Dominique pondered the question. From the first time she’d met him, Dominique had sensed a man of good character, one who was truthful with his words and sincere in his actions. Any boy would be lucky to have him as a father. “Yes, Faith,” she finally answered. “In my heart, I trust Jake.”
“With that in mind, and because you asked me, I’m going to give you my truthful opinion. I think that, yes, there are some things best shared between males, that boys feel more comfortable talking about with another man. I’m sure there are secrets between Aaron and Michael that I’ll never know.”
“But Aaron is his father!”
“And for Justin, Jake is a father figure, someone he looks up to and respects. You may not want to hear it, Nikki, but I think you overreacted regarding whatever Justin shared with his coach. And I think that the fact that Jake wouldn’t break your son’s confidence, despite what I’m sure were some very persuasive arguments... well... that should speak for itself.”
“What about Justin wanting Jake to be his father? You remember how upset he was when Kevin walked out?”
“Got kicked to the curb as I remember, and rightly so. Kevin was an asshole and from what you’ve shared about Jake, there is simply no comparison. I understand your being cautious and wanting to spare Justin’s feelings but from the sounds of it, he’s already quite attached to his coach. Teachers come and go from our children’s lives and often leave lifelong impressions that serve them well. Remember Mrs. Ricci and how I cried because I couldn’t spend the summer in Maine with her and her family?”
Dominique laughed. “I remember.”
“There was a part of me that probably wished she was my mom, at least for a hot minute, especially once I saw how their summer cottage sat right on the beach!” Faith smiled, then continued, her voice softer, “Perhaps looking at Jake as Justin’s teacher instead of your man will change your perspective, so that you can view this as a positive experience for both of them.”
“You’re right, sister,” Dominique replied, her own voice filled with guilt and regret. “I’ve been both father and mother for so long and I admit... it bothers me to not be in control. But Jake doesn’t deserve the way I’ve treated him lately.”
“Well, darlin’, what are you going to do?”
“I’ve got to talk to him,” Dominique said as she looked out the window onto a picture-perfect day and wishing her life resembled it. “He may not forgive me, or want to see me again after our conversation. But I’ve got to apologize. I owe him that.”
32
Dominique yawned as she looked at her watch. It was 11:30 and she had a full, busy day tomorrow. Earlier, Aaron and Faith had dropped off Justin and after staying for only half an hour or so, had continued home to Inglewood. She’d offered to order in a pizza, but Justin had said that he wasn’t hungry, that he just wanted to go to his room. So she’d gained a little info about his weekend (as exciting as pulling teeth) and then allowed him to retire to his room at eight-thirty. Her hopes that he’d gotten over being angry with her were dashed, and tomorrow she planned to have a heart-to-heart and apologize. By the time she’d left the house at ten-thirty, Justin was sound asleep. She’d set the alarm and, breaking yet another one of her rules, had risked leaving her baby home alone for the must-have meeting that night with Jake McDonald.
A car turned the corner and the headlights shone into her rearview mirror. Dominique’s heartbeat quickened as she recognized Jake’s SUV made visible by the streetlights. He slowed, turned into his driveway, and shut off the motor. Knowing he’d seen her car and therefore hadn’t pulled into the garage, Dominique hurriedly reached for the door handle, got out of the car, and met Jake just as he was opening his car door.
“What are you doing here?” he asked as he walked to the back and retrieved his carryon.
“I need to talk to you.” Jake walked to his front door and Dominique followed him. “I want to apologize for undermining your and Justin’s relationship, and for becoming angry and distant because you wouldn’t tell me what at the time I thought I needed to know.”
They reached the front door. Jake inserted the key but turned to face Dominique before opening the door. “Couldn’t you have called to tell me this?”
Dominique looked Jake squarely in the eye. “No. I wanted to tell you in person.”
“Okay, you just did.”
“But I want to explain.”
“It’s late, Dominique.”
“This won’t take long.”
Jake looked at Dominique a long moment. He unlocked and opened the front door, then stepped back to allow Dominique to enter in front of him. He closed and locked the door, and then, after setting his carryon by the steps leading to the home’s second floor, joined Dominique in the living room. She was standing in the middle of the floor, waiting to have Jake’s full attention.
Jake also remained standing. He looked at Dominique and when she didn’t begin talking immediately crossed his massive arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow. “Well?”
Dominique swallowed and tried to not be nervous. But she felt out of her element. She was used to being in charge, her word being law, and not being questioned. In this moment, she realized that even in relationships things mostly went her way. Justin’s father, Leland, abhorred arguing and would often give in to Dominique just to shut her up. Kevin, her last partner, was more than happy to let her run things. It wasn’t until later that she found out that he did so just so that he could run away with her money. But here stood someone she’d rarely encountered in her life—a man who stood his ground. And looked pretty good while doing it, she also noted.
“Can we sit down?” Her voice was soft and tentative, sounding foreign to her own ears.
Jake simply cocked his head.
Dominique cleared her throat and lifted her chin. You are not that quiet, insecure school girl who ran from trouble. So quit acting like it! Dominique calmly walked over to a chair, and sat.
“I’ve never thought of myself as controlling; it simply seems I’ve often been put in the position where I’ve had to be. I’ve lived this way for so long that letting go of the reins is hard, no matter the issue. Justin looks up to you, idolizes you, and that frightens me. I know it shouldn’t,” she hurried on when Jake would have interrupted. “But it does. When my last relationship ended, Justin’s heart also got broken. He and Kevin were very close.” Dominique paused to gather her thoughts. Jake watched, waited. “And then there’s the confidential discussion you had with Justin, I overreacted, Jake, and I’m sorry that I did. It was wrong of me to demand that you tell me what he’d said and then get angry at you for not breaking his confidence. That right there should have told me what kind of man you are.”
“And what kind of man is that, Dominique?” Jake’s stance remained formidable, but his voice had softened.
She answered simply, “A good one.”
The air crackled between them.
Neithe
r one moved.
“How was the game?” Dominique asked, after a pause.
“It was all right. Raiders lost, though.”
“That probably won’t make a difference to Justin. He’s furious with me.”
“He’s a kid. He’ll live.”
“When it comes to my son, I haven’t been able to depend on the men in his life. Guess I’m a bit over-protective, but I’ve had to be strong. I’m all he has.”
Jake uncrossed his arms. “I understand. But you might want to consider that there are other people out here who also have your son’s best interests at heart. I’m one of those people.”
“I know that now.”
More air, more crackling.
“So... are we cool? Am I forgiven?” Dominique’s eyes dropped to Jake’s full lips, and she instantly remembered how well he could use them. She quickly scanned his chest, arms, and large hands that now rested lightly on solid hips.
Jake watched Dominique look him over. Something stirred inside him as he watched a myriad of emotions play across her face, even as she tried to keep her expression blank. He’d had women coming at him from all angles in Oakland; but Dominique was the woman who’d occupied his thoughts. But Jake didn’t know if a woman like her was ready for a man like him. If she got this upset over something as small as a conversation between him and her son, who knew what would happen if something more serious came up. He’d dealt with competition all his life on the field, and it continued as the Hurricanes’ coach. Did he want to be going head-to-head and toe-to-toe with the woman in his life?
“I miss you, Jake.”
Damn, you’re not making this easy. But it was late and Jake was tired. Now was not the time to be making any major decisions and it was only in this moment that Jake realized what a major decision it was. If he and Dominique got back together, he’d no longer be satisfied being her live sex toy. She’d have to be ready for a relationship.
“I appreciate you coming over, Dominique,” Jake said, as he turned and walked to the door. “I’ll think about what you said.”
She didn’t want to leave, but Dominique stood and headed towards the now open door. “You sure you want me to leave?” she said, stopping to stand so close to him that she could swear she felt heat emanating from his body.
“Go home to your son, Dominique. I know you don’t like to leave him home alone.”
Dominique couldn’t resist at least a small touch. She laid her hand on his chest. “Good-bye, Jake.”
Jake watched her lips form those words and his manhood twitched. “Drive safe, baby.”
A slight smile scampered across Dominique’s face as she walked to her car. He hadn’t said he accepted her apology, but he had called her baby. Maybe I haven’t messed up this good thing. Maybe there’s a chance...
33
The next morning, Dominique prepared to face her accuser—Justin. She showered and dressed, and after checking her appointment calendar and noting that there were no scheduled meetings until one, she texted Reggie to let him know that she’d spend the morning working from home. When she walked downstairs, Tessa and Justin were sitting at the kitchen island eating oatmeal loaded with fruit.
“Good morning, Dominique,” Tessa said, rising from her chair. “Can I fix you a bowl of oatmeal?”
“No, I’ll just have orange juice. But I’ll get it. I need a few moments with Justin, alone.”
Tessa picked up her bowl and juice and left the kitchen. Dominique poured herself a glass of orange juice and joined Justin at the counter.
She eyed her son for a moment, noting how he was maturing seemingly overnight, right before her eyes. The chubby baby face that had caused countless women to pinch his cheeks was being replaced by prominent cheekbones and a strong jawline. I see Leland in him, she thought with a tinge of sadness. She wished that her ex-husband would choose to play a bigger role in his child’s life and wondered if her bossiness had been part of the reason for his continued absence. Then she remembered Leland’s new wife and new family and knew that, at best, she was only part of the cause.
“Good morning, Justin.”
“Morning, Mom,” Justin mumbled.
“I’m very sorry about not letting you go on the football trip. I was wrong, Justin. I should have let you go.”
“Then why didn’t you?” Large, brown, questioning eyes bore into her.
“Because sometimes mommies make mistakes and this was one of those times. I love you so much, baby, and sometimes forget that you’re not a little boy anymore, that I need to loosen up. I know you’re angry, and I understand. But do you think you can forgive me? Maybe a little bit?”
Justin didn’t respond, just kept eating his oatmeal.
“Hey, remember that time when I’d just brought a brand-new suit home from the cleaners? It was a red Armani, with big gold buttons and bold stripes on the shoulders and cuffs. You were five years old, remember that?”
A wisp of the familiar smirk of a smile scampered across Justin’s mouth before he could stifle it. “Yeah.”
“Yes, Justin. The word is ‘yes.’”
“Yes, I remember it.”
“And what happened?”
“I got into the cleaning stuff and spilled bleach all over it.”
“Ruined my fifteen-hundred-dollar suit before I could even wear it!”
“I was a little kid. I didn’t know that it cost so much.”
“But you did know that you weren’t supposed to be in the cabinet under the sink.” Justin remained silent. “And what I didn’t know is that you’d figured out how to pop the child lock. By the time I discovered where you were, my beautiful designer outfit looked like a polka-dotted clown suit!”
Justin smiled. A little.
“Your grandma thought you deserved a spanking, but I blamed myself for not having a better lock on the cabinet and putting you in danger. You told me that you were sorry and what did I say?”
Justin responded softly, “That you forgave me.’”
“That’s right,” Dominique answered, her voice becoming soft as well. “Because no one’s perfect, Justin. We all make mistakes: children and parents.” Dominique reached out and rubbed her son’s shoulder. “Everything I do is with your best interest at heart, Justin. It’s because I love you. Do you understand?”
Justin nodded.
“So you forgive me?”
He nodded again.
“I didn’t hear you,” Dominique said softly, a smile in her voice.
“Yes, Mommy. I forgive you.”
“Thanks, baby. Do you think I could get a hug to go along with that? I haven’t had one in a while.”
Justin got out of his chair, and came over to where Dominique sat. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, breathing in his fresh-washed scent, and rubbing her cheek against his still-smooth skin. She cherished the moment, knowing that all too soon things would change: he’d become a teenager and a rowdy peer would replace her as his best friend. And then the thought occurred to her that maybe she’d already been replaced... by Jake McDonald.
After Justin left for school, Dominique called her sister. “Hey, Faith.”
“Good morning, sister,” Faith answered. “This is a pleasant surprise. Your Monday mornings are usually jam-packed.”
“Yes, well, I’m thinking that maybe I need to rethink my priorities.” She paused. “I talked to Jake.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, and I apologized to Justin again. I reminded him about the time he ruined my expensive suit and I forgave him.”
“You should have reminded him about those doggone porno pics and how you didn’t ground him until he was eighteen.”
“Girl, I didn’t even want to go there.”
“That was probably best. What happened this time?”
“He’s removed the iceberg that existed between us.”
“Good. What about Jake? Any melting going on there?”
Dominique knew by Faith’s inflection tha
t hers was a question with multiple meanings. “I don’t know whether Jake is still angry with me or just done with me.”
“What did he say when you apologized?”
“That he appreciated me coming over and would think about what I said.”
“You saw him?”
“Yes.”
“I assumed you guys talked on the phone.”
“No, I went over to his house; didn’t want to risk him not answering my call.” Dominique paused, remembering the encounter. “He looked good, Faith. I wanted to stay with him.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I refuse to beg. I told him that I missed him. And his response was basically, ‘See you later, bye.’”
“Give him time, Nikki. And a little room. You bruised his ego, sister, and you know how men can be. You took away something that is probably very important to a man like Jake... your trust—”
“But I do trust him!
“Maybe, but you don’t trust the situation. You’re so busy worrying about what might happen in the future that you’re sabotaging something that’s developing right now.” When Dominique didn’t respond, Faith continued, “You’re my big sis and I’ve always admired you—how you go after what you want, and how strong and confident you are.”
“I wasn’t always, Faith.”
“Yes, but very few knew it. You faked it until you made it, and when the men in your life brought disappointment you stepped up to the plate and handled your business. But sometimes it’s okay to let go of some of the control. Especially when it comes to Jake, you’re going to have to take off your chief hat and brush off those feminine wiles that are currently gathering dust. He sounds like a good man and you deserve to be happy.”
“I am happy. I have my work.”
“Your work can’t keep you warm at night.”
Dominique smiled. “True.”
“So just go with the flow, and let things unfold. And keep me posted.”
“I will, Faith. Now, tell me, how are you doing?”
They talked for almost an hour, and afterwards, instead of reaching for her laptop, Dominique reached for the television remote and turned on the set. Wendy Williams was on The View, talking about her experiences in radio and television, including her stint on Dancing with the Stars. Unable to totally disconnect from work for more than a few moments, Dominique reached for her phone and sent a text to Emily, the senior writer, requesting that the magazine contact Wendy’s agent for a possible cover and interview. Then she sat back and listened as the ladies of The View fired questions at Wendy, who answered them with humor and truthfulness. Dominique remembered that Reggie had brought up Wendy’s name before. Her editorial staff were probably already on it. She punched the remote and turned the channel, flipping through game shows, more talk shows, news channels, and sports. After five minutes of seeing some of her one-hundred-plus channels for the first time, Dominique deduced that those who didn’t have all day to spend watching TV weren’t missing much. She turned off the tube and powered up her laptop, checking e-mails and the other goings-on at Capricious. All seemed to be in order and though she knew she should make a move towards the office, she still didn’t feel ready to step into her editor-in-chief shoes.