One Percenter (Entangled Embrace)

by D. R. Graham

  “The other kindergarten parents were staring at us as I dropped him off at his classroom door. Cooper’s lip quivered, but he didn’t cry because my dad always told him that crying was for sissies. While he wasn’t looking, I snuck away and ran down the hall to my own classroom, hoping he wouldn’t follow me. It was torture to think about how sad he might be that I abandoned him with a bunch of strangers. As the morning passed, my guilt faded because I hadn’t heard him crying or anything. But just before recess, my grade two teacher said, ‘Tienne, your brother can not stay here.’ I looked over my shoulder. Cooper was sitting cross-legged on the floor behind my desk eating the granola bar. He was being as quiet as a mouse.”

  Auntie Elizabeth smiles wistfully, maybe at the memory of how quiet and gentle Cooper was. Aiden winks to encourage me to keep going, so I wipe my palms on my shorts and remind myself again to breathe.

  “I pulled Cooper’s hand and dragged him to the back of my classroom. He held out the other half of the granola bar to share with me and asked, ‘Please can I stay in grade two with you, Ti?’ I said, ‘No. Dad’s going to whup your butt when he gets home if you don’t go back to kindergarten.’ Cooper shook his head and whispered, ‘I don’t care. I want to be with you.’ The kids in my class laughed at me and the teacher stood with her hands on her hips, waiting. I made promises. I bribed him. I threatened to take his favorite things away. Nothing worked. Finally, I had to say, ‘Cooper, if you don’t go back to your classroom, I won’t love you anymore.’ His big blue eyes filled with tears and his mouth dropped open. His shoulders drooped as he shuffled his little butterfly butt back down the hall toward the kindergarten room. I let him down and I never felt a worse feeling until—”

  I pause and press my hands into my eye sockets to force back the tears. Breathe.

  “I never felt a worse feeling until the morning Uncle Blaine came to my bedroom door and told me that Cooper was dead.”

  I pause again and clench the podium. Uncle Ronnie’s broad shoulders shake because he’s crying behind his black wraparound sunglasses. Other people are sniffling too. Breathe.

  “Cooper’s nickname was Lucky Boy because his heart stopped when he was first born and the doctor was surprised that he survived. Maybe if he hadn’t used up all his luck that day, or maybe if I had done a better job taking care of him and keeping him safe—”

  My voice cracks, so I stop. Leland’s staring right at me, but his expression is difficult to read. Aiden focuses on his boots to hide the fact that he’s choked up. I try to forget the casket with my brother’s body in it, the chair that has my dad’s helmet on it, and the line of cops. I inhale and stand taller.

  “My dad deserved what happened to him, but Cooper was the sweetest person on the planet. He never did a hurtful thing to anyone in his life. He didn’t deserve to die.”

  Sam sobs and hides his face in his hands. I scan the sea of black leather and scruffy hair. Every Noir et Bleu member from my dad’s chapter is here. The other one hundred guys are from other chapters all over North America. They didn’t know Cooper personally, but my dad was their brother, which makes Cooper and me family. The assurance that they all have my back is exactly what I need right now. My blood rushes through my body and I can taste something metallic on my tongue as I prepare myself for what I’m about to say.

  “The person responsible for taking Cooper away from me should know that I bleed black and blue.” My hands clench into fists as I swallow back rage. I lift my chin and say, “My name is Tienne ‘T Bear’ Desrochers. My father was Albert ‘Big Bert’ Desrochers.” I pause and scan each face in the church. “And I am my father’s daughter.” I roll up the eulogy, then lean into the microphone. “If I were you I would start sleeping with one eye open.”

  The cops’ heads swivel, examining the crowd. The country club side of the church looks nervous and confused. The motorcycle club side looks jacked. I move and stand next to the casket. My uncles, Aiden, his dad, and his uncle—the same six men who carried my father’s casket—join me. My mom can’t stand, let alone walk, so I follow the casket by myself. Auntie Elizabeth, Uncle Blaine, and Sam step into line behind me.

  As I pass Leland at the back of the church, he steps forward to wrap his arm around me, but I whisper, “Don’t,” and keep walking.

  The one side of the parking lot is entirely full of chrome Harley handlebars sparkling in the sunlight. There are about twenty more cops standing in the shade beneath the trees around the perimeter of the property. They’re videotaping and taking pictures of everyone. My uncles and the Gyllenhalls slide the casket into the back of the hearse and close the door. It’s like déjà vu from six months ago, only this time I want revenge.

  I stand by Aiden’s bike to avoid well-meaning hugs from anyone. He shakes a few people’s hands and then heads over to me. “You did good.” He slides his sunglasses and helmet on before he steps over the seat, straddling his long legs on either side. “Put your helmet on, babe.”

  I reach into the side bag and find my helmet exactly where I left it four months ago. I step over the seat and let my body slowly slide down his back. He reaches his hand behind and runs it along my thigh the way he used to. My dad would have yelled at me for wearing flip-flops on the bike, but whatever. Aiden starts the engine and revs it, which sends vibrations through my body. The rest of the bikers also start their engines and the rumbling is incredibly loud. I almost forgot what it felt like to hear them all at the same time. The sound bounces around inside my ribcage, as familiar as my own heartbeat.

  My uncles pull black bandanas up over their noses and wait for the hearse to roll out. Auntie Elizabeth’s country club friends hold their purses clutched tightly to their chests, looking terrified. Leland steps right up to Aiden’s bike, which he may not realize takes a lot of balls. He exchanges a look with Aiden before he reaches to give me something. He presses a folded piece of paper into my palm and kisses me on the cheek. If he tries to say anything, I don’t hear him as Aiden revs the engine and the bike lurches forward, leaving Leland behind.

  We pull out behind the hearse, and about one hundred bikers, led by his dad, follow us in a thunderous procession. The wind blows through my hair and the adrenaline rushes through my blood. Once I figure out who killed Cooper, there will be retribution.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Something licks my face. I open one eye only to have it shut by a big tongue slopping over my eyelid. It tickles. Zeke jumps up on the bed and sprawls his one hundred pounds on top of me. He pants and it looks like he’s grinning. Probably because he thinks it’s funny that he’s got me pinned.

  “Hi Zekey, boy. Oh, yes. Hello. Did you miss me? I haven’t seen you in a long time. Did you miss me? Yeah. You’re a good boy.” I pat him under his ears where he likes it. “You’re so cute. Oh, big kisses. I missed you too. I missed you so much.” He buries his gigantic head in my chest and nuzzles his wiggling body against mine.

  “Zeke! Leave her alone. You’re bigger than she is,” Aiden says. He’s seated at his desk and it looks like he was studying from a thick textbook. “Sorry. He’s just excited to see you.”

  “It’s okay.” I hug Zeke and watch Aiden. He looks sexy in his jeans, black T-shirt, and red bandana tied across his forehead to keep his hair from falling in his eyes.

  Not much has changed in his bedroom since I was last in it. His bookshelf is a little fuller. The old sheet that covered his window has been replaced with wood blinds. The closet door isn’t hanging off one hinge anymore, and the hole he punched in the drywall is patched, but not painted. The tiny snow globe of kissing penguins that I gave him for Christmas when I was twelve still sits on the shelf with all his sports trophies.

  “Were you studying?” I ask.

  “Yeah.”

  “Studying what?”

  “Biology and psychology. I have a couple exams on Monday.”

  “You’re going to the university?”

  He nods and snaps to get Zeke to lie down. I’m confused. �
�What do biology and psychology have to do with the Noir et Bleu?”

  There is a pause that feels like he’s being cautious with his answer before he says, “Nothing.”

  “I thought your dad wanted you to take business courses at the community college so you could take over the international operations.”

  “He thinks I am taking business courses.”

  I frown and sit up, wondering if I heard that right. “But you’re not?”

  He shakes his head and his stare is so intense it makes my skin tingle.

  I don’t know what that means, or what anything means right now. I don’t even know how I got here. “Uh, I seem to be in your room and I’m only wearing one of your T-shirts. You want to fill me in on what exactly happened last night?”

  He smiles in a kind of cocky way. “Don’t you remember?”

  “I remember going to the cemetery. Uncle Ronnie poured a shot of whiskey on Dad’s grave and then on Cooper’s.” I close my eyes trying to recall the rest. “I think I might have had a few swigs from the bottle.”

  “Yeah. A few.” He leans back and stretches out his legs.

  I clutch his pillow to my chest and drop my head to smell it. Part of me wants to know if he’s had other girls in his room in the past four months, and part of me doesn’t want to know. It would only be fair if he had, but the pillowcase only smells like laundry detergent. The picture of us when we took a road trip to California is still in a frame on the desk. “Did we, uh, you know?”

  “Would you be upset if we did?”

  “Gylly, I have a boyfriend.”

  His smile fades away and he abruptly stands.

  “What happened last night?” I ask.

  “Nothing. Get dressed and I’ll take you home.” He throws my shorts and tank top on the bed, then disappears into the bathroom across the hall. Zeke stretches out on the wood floor with a loud sigh. I get dressed and sit on the bed to wait for Aiden to come back. A minute later, the bathroom door opens and his footsteps approach. He doesn’t step back into the room though; he just holds my old toothbrush out for me. It’s still in its pink plastic travel case.

  I take the toothbrush and cross the hall into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I think about all the other times I’ve stood in his bathroom and brushed my teeth. I can’t tell if it makes me feel happy or sad. After I wash my face and comb my hair, I head back to his room. He’s propped against the doorframe. I scoot past him into the room and step into my flip-flops.

  “Don’t forget your phone.”

  My phone, keys, and my dad’s switchblade are on the bedside table next to the note Leland gave me at the funeral. “Did you read that?”

  “No. Let’s go.”

  I lean over to pick up my things, then stop and stare at the wall. Something feels unfinished. When I glance at Aiden, I can tell that he doesn’t really want me to leave, no matter what he says, so he must feel it, too. “Gylly, can we talk?”

  “Go ahead.” He sounds like he’s mad, but underneath is a sadness that says he’s really upset. My heart feels like it’s getting a cramp. I pull him into the room. He acts reluctant, so I tug his hand and guide him to sit on the bed with me. He looks down at our intertwined hands and, after a while, he runs his thumb across my skin the way he used to. I sit cross-legged and face him, but I don’t speak. I watch his expression and let my skin remember what it feels like to be touched by him.

  “I didn’t cheat on you. I would never cheat on you,” he finally says.

  The guilt of hurting him slams against the wall of emotion that I was already barely strong enough to hold up. If I try to speak, I’ll break down. I can’t do this right now. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to talk about this.” I stand and storm toward the door, but Aiden lunges in front of me. Zeke scrambles to his feet to get out of the way as I try to sidestep Aiden.

  “Ti, please don’t go.” He steps forward and wraps his arms around me. “You’ve known me your entire life. We both know this isn’t about Leah.”

  Don’t make me say it. I push his arms off and step backward to lean against the wall. “How can it not be about her? I caught you half-naked with her.”

  “What’s this really about?”

  “It’s about you fucking your ex-girlfriend right after you gave me an engagement ring.”

  “I didn’t sleep with Leah. She dropped by crying because the guy she was dating beat her up. I cleaned up her cuts and gave her some ice for her shoulder. Then I told Mickey to take care of the guy. That’s all that happened. Deep down inside you know that I would never cheat on you. What’s this really about?”

  I slide my back down the wall and sit on the floor beside Zeke. He lifts his head and flops it onto my lap. Aiden sits on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees. The fact that he sees right through me is exactly why I love him. Right now I wish he were clueless so I could avoid the truth.

  “Why did you shut me out, Ti?” His voice cracks a little.

  Tears pool up along the rims of my eyes. If I blink, they’re going to drip over onto my cheek. I stare at the floor for as long as I can. Eventually, the blink comes and so do the tears.

  “Ti, talk to me. I’ve been waiting four months for you to tell me what happened. What did I do wrong?”

  I bury my face in my hands. Zeke barks as if he’s trying to let Aiden know that I’m upset. “I’m sorry, Gylly.” When I look up, he’s staring at me. There’s a deep crease between his eyebrows as if he wishes he knew how to make everything better. My heart twists with the shame of treating him like shit. Zeke whimpers and licks my leg.

  “Is it because you wanted to go out with that country club poser?”

  “No.”

  Aiden’s forearms tense as he cracks his knuckles. His head snaps up, and he glares at me accusingly. “You didn’t waste any time moving on with that lying piece of shit.” Immediately, he winces, maybe because he can’t handle the image of me being with another guy, or maybe because he wishes he hadn’t used such a harsh tone.

  Didn’t waste any time? Lying piece of shit? I gently place Zeke’s head on the floor and stand up. “What exactly are you implying?”

  “Let’s just say I know everything about that rich prick, and he’s really lucky I didn’t mess him up.”

  I prop my hands on my hips and cock my head to the side. “No, you’re really lucky that you didn’t mess him up. You don’t own me. How do you know everything about him? Were you following me?”

  “No.”

  “Who was?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” He stands and takes a step toward the door before I dig my fingertips into his biceps to stop him.

  “I don’t appreciate being stalked.”

  He presses his finger to his lips to get me to be quiet, and then leans over to shut the door. “It wasn’t to stalk you. Forget it. Forget I said anything.”

  “If it wasn’t so you could keep tabs on me, why did you have me followed?”

  He glances down at me for only a brief moment, then turns away to avoid the question. The muscle in his jaw twitches, and he moves as if he’s going to leave, so I dig my fingers in even harder. He could easily go if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. “Ti, I love you. I have always loved you and I wish I could tell you everything, but I can’t. There are a lot of things you don’t know.”

  “If it’s about me, I have a right to know.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Uncomplicate it.”

  “My dad thinks you might be in danger,” he whispers.

  I blink. Like getting pushed off a building type of danger? My mind spins at the implications of that. “Why? Is it related to my dad?”

  There is a knock at Aiden’s door, so he leans over to open it a crack and I hear Randy say, “Breakfast’s ready. Is T Bear still with you?”

  “Yeah. We’ll be right out.”

  “Tell her I made all her favorites.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” He closes the door, turns to face me, a
nd lowers his voice, “Can we talk about this later when my dad’s not around?”

  I bite my bottom lip as I contemplate whether to let it go for now or insist that he tell me. He wraps his hands around my upper arms and pushes me up against the wall. His thumb grazes my bottom lip to free it from the grips of my teeth. “You know it drives me crazy when you do that.”

  I swallow hard, cursing my mouth for having a sly mind of its own. “What kind of danger does your dad think I’m in?”

  His palms slide down to my wrists and then back up the sides of my body. “The kind that I can protect you from, so you don’t need to worry.”

  I angle my head and his breath tickles my exposed neck. It feels like it used to—safe and right. I want to tear his shirt off. I want him to lift me up and walk me over to the bed. I want to remember how good it feels to be that close to him. My skin shivers thinking about it and my breathing deepens. Out of habit I run my hand up his abs and over the muscles in his chest and then grab his neck. That’s when I notice his new IIWII tattoo in more detail. I know it stands for “It is what it is” because Uncle Len has the same one. It looks cool, but it brings me back to reality. They are gang members and they are the reason I’m not safe in the first place.

  “I have a boyfriend. Did you forget?” I push my palms into his chest.

  He shoves me back against the wall and leans in to speak into my ear, “You have a fiancé. Did you forget?”

  I punch him in the stomach and he steps back. “The engagement kind of became null and void when you banged someone else.”

  “If you believe that,” he challenges, “why do you still wear the ring on your necklace?”

  I reach down and hold my hand over my chest where the ring is resting on the curve of my cleavage. “It’s complicated.”

  “Uncomplicate it.”

  I inhale and lock eyes with him. Once I peel away every layer that confuses my life, or doesn’t matter, or can’t be changed, there is only one constant, one unwavering common denominator. It’s simple. “I still love you.”