by Nicola Haken
“Blaine’s not home, darling,” she said and panic coursed through my veins like red-hot lava.
“Well where the hell is he?” I snapped. I knew it wasn’t her fault but I couldn’t help it.
“He’s, um, in a spot of bother with his dad. He’s probably just gone out to cool off.” I couldn’t have felt more winded if I had been hit chest-on by a bin truck.
“What’s he done to him?” I snapped again.
“Blaine’s fine. I saw him just this morning. I’ll get him to call you when he comes home.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling as lost as I did at the hospital. “Bye, Trudy.” I hung up before I heard her reply.
Trudy didn’t sound like she was lying but if Blaine was ‘fine’ then why the hell hadn’t he called me? He wouldn’t push me away again. He promised. He wouldn’t. Would he?
I felt sick. I didn’t know whether to be worried about him or steaming mad with him. I wouldn’t give up though. I promised him I wouldn’t. I couldn’t anyway even if I wanted to. Pulling out my phone, I tried to call him again.
Voicemail.
I sent him a text instead.
U need to call me. I need u xxx
Maybe that was selfish of me but if he meant a single word of what he said to me last night then that should be enough to make him think twice about ignoring me. Next I called Lori and filled her in. She said all the right things – sorry, if there’s anything I can do… that kind of shit. I knew she meant every word but I hurried her off the phone saying I was exhausted. Which I was, but mostly I just wanted to curl in a ball on my bed alone and cry.
Actually scrap that, I wanted to curl up with Blaine.
But he wasn’t here.
Again.
When I woke up, curled into the foetal position on top of my duvet it was dark outside. I must have fallen asleep although amazingly I still felt completely knackered. I checked my phone immediately and my heart sprang to life when I saw a text waiting for me. Then it sank again when I saw it was from Lori.
Jason said Blaine’s at home. He went round 2 c him and Blaine told him to F off. U heard from him yet? X
I replied straight away.
No. But I’m gona try Trudy again now. Will let u no. x
Was he seriously pushing me away again? He promised me!
I called Trudy as soon as I’d hit send to Lori. I choked on my heart when it wasn’t Trudy who answered.
“Hello?” Mitch said, his voice churning my stomach.
“Hi,” I mumbled nervously. “It’s Maddie. Can I speak to Blaine please?”
I’m sure I heard the bastard laugh at me.
“Blaine doesn’t want to speak to you,” he said firmly. He was lying. He had to be. Didn’t he?
“Please, Mr Elwood. It won’t take long, I just really need to speak with him.” I was actually begging the sadistic arsehole. Just the thought of speaking to him made my voice crack and bile claw at my throat.
“Are you as dumb as your fucking mother? I said he doesn’t want to talk to you. Goodbye, Madonna.”
All moisture evaporated from my mouth as my jaw dropped open. It had been a long time since anyone had called me by my birth name and after hearing it squirm like acid out of his mouth I never wished to hear anyone call it me again. I felt crushed. Heartbroken. Worried. Anxious. Utterly shattered.
And then I felt angry.
I was on the main road hailing a taxi before I even had chance to process what I was doing. I was going to see Blaine whether he wanted to see me or not – whether his father wanted him to see me or not. Eternity. That’s what we said. Blaine needed me and I needed him. No one was going to come between that.
The taxi pulled up outside the massive gates guarding Blaine’s house and I handed him a wad of notes without bothering to check how much was there before jumping out of the car. He must have thought Christmas had come early.
At that moment I was grateful for being a nosey bitch by nature and watching Blaine punch the code into the pad which held the gate locked. I was sure I wouldn’t be granted access if I’d have had to use the buzzer. I tapped the numbers in quickly and the gates began to whir as they prized open. I slipped through as soon as they made a big enough gap for my body and ran straight up the long path to the house.
I knocked on the door.
No answer.
I banged on the door.
No answer.
I banged on the door and screamed Blaine’s name.
Trudy answered.
“Maddie, what on earth…”
“Where is he? I want to see him.” I demanded, shoving past her and pushing my way into the house. Adrenaline had turned me into a crazy don’t-fuck-with-me superwoman. I kind of liked it.
“Maddie, Blaine isn’t here,” she said almost convincingly.
“Don’t lie to me! Jason came by and saw him!”
“Maddie, please.” She tried to pull me back as I stormed through each room coming off the grand hallway calling Blaine’s name.
“Maddie!” she yelled. It caught my attention and I stopped to look at her. “Blaine has a… complicated relationship with his father. When they’re having trouble it’s best just to leave them to it.”
“Have you any idea how fucking ridiculous that sounds? Do you know what he does to him?” She didn’t answer me and I flipped. “Do you?” I barked so loud the words cut into the back of my throat. “He cuts him, Trudy! He actually slices into his fucking skin!”
Trudy’s eyes opened wider than I thought humanly possibly. I stared into them, seeing the whites of her eyes all the way around her brown irises.
“Don’t be absurd!” she said. “I’m not sticking up for Mitch. He’s always had a temper… his fists have been known to come out once in a while, but that is just… sick. Why would you say such a thing?”
Shit. She really did have absolutely no idea.
“Where is he?” I yelled again, returning to my frantic search.
Trudy called after me as I stormed through every room. I’d covered downstairs in under a minute and then ran upstairs. I yanked on all the doors screaming in an altogether mental rage. I heard Trudy yelling at me to stop, calm down, sit down, blah de blah… but I ignored her.
Back downstairs I bent over and rested my hands on my knees. I was exhausted. Physically and emotionally. Where the hell was he? I’d checked everywhere!
Suddenly, like a light bulb flipping on in my brain, I remembered Blaine mentioning several times that they had a home gym.
“Where’s the gym?” I barked at Trudy.
“Maddie, please just-”
“Where’s the fucking gym god dammit?” I growled at her – actually growled – and stormed off to find it myself.
I’d exhausted the entire inside of the house so I headed outside, thanking my lucky stars that the patio doors were unlocked. Past the pool and down some steps there was a building that matched the stone of the house. There was a light on inside. Blaine was inside. He had to be.
I skipped down the steps two at a time, hovering my hand over the black railing in case I stumbled. I could barely breathe when I reached the door, a painful lump swelling in my throat. I knew something bad was happening. As bizarre, and maybe cliché, as it sounds… I could just feel it. I could feel Blaine’s pain slicing through my heart. Swallowing the lump in my throat I threw the door open.
Then my heart stopped beating.
Tears stung my eyes but they didn’t have the courage to fall.
Vomit bubbled in my stomach.
My knees buckled and I almost fell.
“Maddie, LEAVE. NOW!” Blaine yelled. But I was frozen. He was bent over the red bench press at the back of the room with his pants ruffled around his ankles. His shirt was on the floor by his feet and streaks of blood were spiralling furiously down his back.
By this point his father was pulling his own pants up and stomping towards me, his eyes almost black with murderous rage.
“Run, Maddie! For fuck’s
sake RUN!”
But my feet had melted to the floor.
“You had to interfere didn’t you? You stupid bitch!” Mitched blared, his face just inches from mine now. I didn’t even have the strength to flinch. I saw a hazy blur come up behind him and pull him away. In lightning speed Mitch turned round and punched the shadow repeatedly until it fell to the ground.
“Blaine!” I screamed. He was lying motionless on the stone floor, a small pool of blood forming around his head.
“Maybe you need teaching a lesson too, is that it?”
I opened my mouth to… I don’t know. Scream? Shout for help?
“You kids are so fucking disrespectful these days. You need showing your god damn place.” Mitch grabbed a fistful of my hair and dragged me across the room. I wanted to cry from the pain, the sound of my hairs ripping from their follicles, but I couldn’t. When I opened my mouth all that came out was a hoarse whisper.
With a sharp shove my head was thrown backwards and I was falling onto the ground. I heard a crack as my arm smashed into the floor to save me but I couldn’t feel pain. I couldn’t feel anything as I stared at Blaine’s lifeless body, the pool of blood growing bigger and thicker – his pants still twisted around his ankles.
“Blaine!” I tried to shout but it came out as in inaudible whimper. My body was juddering. Not shaking of its own accord – it was being jostled. I couldn’t take my eyes off Blaine to look at what was happening though.
Until I felt a sweaty, calloused hand tugging at the waistband of my pants.
“Get the fuck off me!” I screamed. But he was too strong. He grabbed my arms, securing them at the wrists with one hand and then he held them firmly above my head.
“You need to learn to do as you’re fucking well told! And I’m going to teach you.”
“Please, no!” I droned. Mitch’s body weight was crushing me. His breathing was harsh and ragged in my ear, crawling over my flesh as he yelled at me. Then his free hand had slipped beneath my pants and he tugged at them ferociously, his elbow digging into my hips. I tried to kick but he held my knee down with his. I tried to break my arms free but he twisted his fingers around my wrists tighter, burning the thin flesh.
“Help! Please god, somebody help me!” I screamed to no one – to anyone.
“I’m about to teach you some god damn respect. Do you understand?” he said in a disturbingly calm tone.
Giving up, I closed my eyes and waited, almost impatiently, for the man I despised to… rape me.
Then Mitch’s head bounced off mine and I screamed when I felt my nose crack and an intense, unbearable pain ripped through my face. Startled, my eyes shot open. Mitch’s body – suddenly a dead weight – lay limp on top of me. His head was flopped to the side with rich burgundy blood streaming down his face.
Bare legs – Blaine’s legs – stood beside me and I followed them upwards until I met his body, his neck, his face, his eyes… His shaking hands were holding a kettle bell which was covered in specks of blood – his father’s blood.
Suddenly, I was screaming. My eyes were squeezed tightly closed and I screamed so loud and forcefully my throat burned. My body shook violently as I tried to wrestle myself free but the weight of his body, his… possibly dead body… was too heavy. It pinned me to the floor. It crushed my lungs leaving me struggling for breath.
Screams.
Blood.
Screams.
Blood.
The crushing weight started rising and I gasped, my lungs frantically searching for air. My eyes opened. The body was gone. I closed them again. A new weight pressed against me. I opened them.
“Blaine!” I tried to yell but my voice was a mere croak.
“I’m so sorry, Maddie. I’m so, so sorry.” His arms gripped around me. It hurt but I didn’t care. He rocked me back and forth. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
Screams.
Not my screams.
Kara’s screams.
“Trudy get her the hell out of here!” Blaine yelled as he yanked his neck towards the entryway. Trudy was standing there… paralysed, terrified – silent tears streaming down her cheeks. Kara was beside her, doubled over… crying, screaming. So much screaming.
“Th-Th-The police. I’ve c-c-called the police,” Trudy stammered before throwing her hand over Kara’s eyes and dragging her from the room.
I told my eyes not to but they ignored me and looked over at Mitch’s body. I watched intently, staring at his chest for any signs of it rising or falling. It didn’t.
Screams.
My screams.
I clutched at my head. It throbbed violently. The pain was unbearable. I closed my eyes and all I could see was the darkness, the intent in Mitch’s eyes. I opened them and all I could see was the pain in Blaine’s.
“I’m so sorry, Maddie. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Blaine cried, tears gurgling in the back of his throat.
“Shh,” I whispered, burying my head in blood-stained chest. “It’s over now. It’s all over now.”
Then I passed out cold.
Chapter Twenty
Maddie
Six Months Later…
“And it goes in here?” Trudy asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she weighed up the back end of the turkey.
“You’ve really never done this before?” I asked in disbelief. It was Thanksgiving. My first ever Thanksgiving. And dear god did I have a lot to be thankful for.
I convinced Trudy to let Clarabella have the day off and I believe she went to stay with her sister in Mississippi. I didn’t see why Trudy needed a housekeeper at all – it was pure bloody laziness if you ask me. But then Blaine told me how much Clarabella not only loved but relied on her job here.
So anyway here we were, standing in a kitchen full of half-prepared food and a naked turkey - who I’d affectionately named Terrance - with its open backside staring Trudy in the face. She picked up the stuffing as if she could catch syphilis from it and tentatively poked and prodded it into the gaping cavity.
“It’s not gonna fucking bite, it’s dead, woman!” my mum said, laughing at Trudy’s attempts to get up close and personal with Terrance. “Give it here.” My mum snatched the bowl of stuffing from Trudy and proceeded to ram it up Terrance’s arse, fistfuls at a time.
Trudy scurried over to the sink to wash her hands whilst I started peeling potatoes. I gasped when warm hands wrapped around my waist then I melted into them.
“How long’s dinner, wench?” Blaine teased, trailing kisses along my neck. I grabbed a tea-towel off the countertop and smacked him with it. “Don’t do that to me, lish. You’re too fucking sexy when you’re angry,” he whispered in my ear.
Not quiet enough it would seem.
“Eww! You two are disgusting!” Kara shrieked as she entered the kitchen. I felt Blaine’s breath quicken against my neck as he let out a soft laugh. His laugh was the most beautiful, comforting sound in the whole world. I got to hear it a lot these days. Every day.
He was happy. I was happy. Our family was happy.
That’s what we are now – a family.
I moved in shortly after Mitch’s funeral (which Blaine insisted he attended as proof that he was really gone). Trudy witnessed the whole… episode and with the scars shrouding Blaine’s body, the police admitted there was no denying it was an act of self-defence.
There was a disused annex off the side of the house which Trudy had converted for my mum, ready for when she came out of hospital. She was discharged after five weeks with a whole new set of meds and an endless list of appointments to various counsellors and therapists. That was six months ago now and she’s trying so hard. She’s never missed a single appointment, she takes all her medication (I watch her) and she’s… Well, I was going to say she’s ‘normal’ again but hell, my mum’s never been normal.
She’s my mum again. I’m thankful for that today.
Trudy and I have grown closer too - although I don’t think I could ever call her ‘
mum’. She’s been teaching me to drive during my free couple of hours between school and work. She says I’m a natural – if you don’t count the time I reversed into one of her prized statues out the front. She’s different since Mitch… She’s happier, freer. She’s actually pretty funny and I can see how she and my mum became such good friends in the first place. If Trudy allows herself to forget that’s not all that posh for a minute – she’s got the same crude sense of humour as Mum.
So although I don’t think of Trudy as my mother, she’s most certainly become a very special friend. I’m thankful for that today.
“You want me to do the carrots, sis?” Kara asked, interrupting my reverie.
“Sure,” I replied with a grateful smile. “Thanks… sis.”
Kara is adorable and it feels fantastic having a baby sister to worry over. She reminds me so much of myself at that age. She’s stubborn and fierce and takes no shit from anyone – except maybe Blaine. I’ve been trying to teach her how to tell him to fuck the hell off when he starts with his over-protective brother crap but she’s not got the balls yet! I know it’s because she loves him. And he loves her which is why he’s so bossy of her in the first place.
I’m so proud of how well she’s coped with the last few months. The things she saw that day are enough to completely fuck up a thirteen year olds mind, but she’s been so brave. There have been a few occasions I’ve caught her crying in her bedroom – alone. She would never let Blaine see her cry and I know it’s because she feels guilty for missing her dad. I suppose that’s natural though. She has an entirely different set of memories and emotions attached to that man than Blaine does – it must be hard to let those go.
I love my sister. I’m thankful for that today.
And yep, she finally got me hooked on The Vampire Diaries. I’m a closet Team Damon but I wouldn’t dare tell Kara that though – or Lori for that matter.
I’m so proud of Lori. Sky started spitting her venom during finals week and announced to the cafeteria that she’d seen Lori kissing another girl. You could tell by the smug grin on her face she expected Lori to either a) deny it, or b) run away crying. Much to her surprise however Lori simply replied ‘and she kisses so much better than you did’. I swear the whole cafeteria erupted in laughter, pointing and mocking… not Lori – Sky. I wouldn’t normally enjoy watching such a scene but Sky was a manipulative bitch who made my best friend’s life hell for too long. Last I heard Daddy cut off her credit cards and she was working in Walmart. Being the child that I am, the thought makes me smile.