Gul Gulshan Gulfam

by Pran Kishore

  Bilal went out feeling dejected. He looked towards the Boulevard; the Japanese visitors had already arrived at the ghat. Mukhtar Ahmed and Ghulam Ahmed were loading their baggage in the shikaarahs.

  Bilal went to the kitchen. Mukhta, Zoon and Zeb sat huddled together, looking grief-stricken. Bilal reprimanded them saying, ‘While you sit here with your limbs crossed, the Japanese tourists have already arrived. Go heat the food and be ready. ’

  The shikaarahs touched the isle; Ghulam Ahmed held the ropes in his hands and steadied the boats. Bilal went forward to assist Mukhtar Ahmed in unloading the baggage. He scolded the cooks who stood waiting. ‘Why are you standing here? Take the baggage out from the shikaarahs.’ He took out the list from his pocket and handed it over to the leader of the party. He directed them to keep the luggage in the allotted rooms.

  Ghulam Ahmed went to his father to apprise him of the events at the airport. ‘There was a great rush at the airport. We met Lala Sahib’s son Vijay Kumar there. That is why we got a little delayed in coming here. While I was talking to Vijay Kumar, Rajab Dandur’s son tried to grab this party of tourists from us, but Mukhtar Ahmed was alert and warned him off.’

  Malla Khaliq listened to him but did not say anything. But when Ghulam Ahmed told him that Vijay Kumar went straight away to houseboat Glacier, he felt his veins starting to smoulder. He started scolding Ghulam Ahmed, ‘I heard what you said, I heard it all. Now please go and see to it that all the arrangements have been made.’

  Ghulam Ahmed discerned that the mention of Vijay Kumar agitated his father. He quietly went away to the isle. He called Bilal and said to him, ‘My dear son, your Noor Chacha has gone with Lala Sahib, and Abba sits confined to his room. You take Mukhtar with you. You take care of the Japanese guests. Abba will simply kill us otherwise.’

  When Ghulam Qadir saw Vijay Kumar, he sat up. He said to Sulaiman, ‘Where is his father?’

  ‘He is sitting outside, in the lawn.’

  ‘Please go and ask your Mummy to come here,’ he said to Sulaiman.

  Reeny came in with coffee for Vijay Kumar. He took a sip and then opened his briefcase and took out a file. Reeny asked him, ‘Have you discussed everything with the lawyer?’

  ‘He has gone through it with a fine-toothed comb.’

  ‘All right then, let us sign the papers,’ Ghulam Qadir said.

  After signing the papers, Reeny returned the file to Vijay Kumar. Ghulam Qadir stretched himself, rested his head against the pillow, and said to Reeny and Vijay Kumar, ‘Now the last pending job is finished. I can die in peace. All my dreams have been realized except one. But how can one undo one’s destiny?’

  He turned to his side, but feeling the strain in his abdomen, he cried, ‘Oh my mother! I am dying.’

  Reeny held his back, but his pain only increased. Vijay Kumar closed his briefcase and went out to call the doctor. The nurse came running. The doctor also came. He looked at his watch and asked the nurse, ‘How much time has passed since the last injection?’

  ‘Four hours.’

  ‘Then prepare the next injection. Quick!’

  Narayan Joo stood outside. He did not have the courage to enter the room. After standing there for a while, he went out to the lawn. In the meantime, Noor Mohammad arrived with an amulet from Rahim Sahib of Baba Demb. While climbing out of the boat, he noticed Narayan Joo standing in the lawn. Narayan Joo asked him, ‘Did he give you the amulet?’ He still hoped that God would grant them some miracle and Ghulam Qadir would recover. Even the amulet given by Rahim Sahib was a gleam of hope to him amidst all the despair. Noor Mohammad said to him, ‘I felt as if Rahim Sahib was waiting for me to come. I did not have to say anything to him; he said everything himself: “Has the hawk returned after having flown far away to find his own nest?” I said, “Yes, he has, but with his wings broken. He is in great pain. He is quite near his nest, but is not blessed enough to enter it.” On hearing this, he got up, went inside his shrine and came out with this amulet. He said to me, “Go and put this around his neck. All his suffering will end. He will stretch his wings, and fly to his original abode.”’

  Narayan Joo understood what Rahim Sahib had said. He knew that Ghulam Qadir was now ready to fly away to his ultimate abode in the heaven above and the amulet was sure to free him from the shackles of life. But he remained silent. Noor Mohammad said, ‘Why don’t you say anything?’

  ‘You go in, my dear, and put it round his neck. His condition has worsened; the amulet might give him some relief.’

  Noor Mohammad went inside the houseboat. He was convinced that the amulet would save Qadir.

  After much pleading, Vijay Kumar succeeded in making his father agree to go home. ‘There is nothing for you to do here. You have not eaten anything. You are not very fit yourself. All of us are here to take care of Qadir.’

  Vijay Kumar said to Abdul Jabbar, ‘Please take him across. But please send the boatman back without fail.’

  Narayan Joo held his knees to stand up. His mind remained in a turmoil. He took out the letter that Ghulam Qadir had given for Malla Khaliq and wondered what to do with it. He finally said to the boatman, ‘My dear son, after dropping me at the ghat, please go to houseboat Gulfam and deliver this letter to Haji Sahib.’

  ‘You mean Malla Khaliq ?’

  ‘Yes. But do not hand it over to anyone else.’

  The shikaarah touched the Gagribal ghat. Narayan Joo paid the boatman and insisted again that he should not forget to hand over the letter to Malla Khaliq. Then he sat in his car and left for home.

  Malla Khaliq stood on the isle with the Japanese tourists. He disinterestedly whiled away his time answering their questions. The tourists were getting ready to go to Ladakh the next day. The boatman tied the boat to the ghat and came over to the isle. Seeing him there, Malla Khaliq asked him what he wanted.

  ‘I want to have a word with you.’ He took Malla Khaliq aside and handed the envelope to him. ‘Narayan Joo Sahib asked me to give this to you.’

  Taking the letter, Malla Khaliq went to his room. He hastily opened the envelope and saw the stamp of Hotel Sea Waves on it.

  His hands shook as he read the letter. Qadir had narrated all the sweet and bitter events of his life, from his childhood to the moment of writing the letter. Malla Khaliq felt as if his heart was about to burst out from his chest. His knees felt very weak all of a sudden and he had to hold on to a chair and sit down. ‘Oh my God, what should I do now? Show me the right path.’

  Bilal, who was feeling tired after having attended to the Japanese tourists the whole day, entered his room late in the night. He saw his mother sitting in darkness near the window which looked on to the lights of Kotar Khana. He did not deem it proper to switch the light on. He went sat near his mother and said to her, ‘How long will you remain here by this window? You have not eaten properly either.’

  Zeb turned to him, saying, ‘I was not feeling hungry. Have you eaten?’

  ‘Do you think I should also have remained hungry? Tomorrow I have to work hard again. I must have sufficient energy in my limbs. Now you get up from here, please. Nothing good will come of sitting here. Whatever has to happen will happen. Don’t kill yourself like this.’

  When Zeb started getting up, he said to her, ‘Keep the window shut; the sky is overcast. If it rains, water will come in.’ He went into the inner room, shut the door and made his bed.

  Zeb again sat down near the same window and gazed at Kotar Khana in the distance. Her heart felt like it had been stabbed by Bilal’s words: ‘Nothing good will come of sitting here. Whatever has to happen will happen. Don’t kill yourself like this.’ The poor boy cannot be blamed; he never knew his father’s affection. How would he have any compassion for him? But I—? How can I forget that I loved him will all my heart? I entrusted my being to him.

  Lost in such thoughts, she was drowning in the memories of her youth. She felt as if a wildfire was raging in her mind and soul and she was getting consumed by it. ‘Allah! I stand ma
rooned in a tempest. Show me the way out. Let him live, even if it is to go back to strangers. My own love for him and hope for him are enough for me. Forgive him all his faults! Forgive him.’

  She was about to shut the window, when she noticed that the light in Malla Khaliq’s room was still on. Malla Khaliq was still awake so late into the night. She sat near the window again with her eyes fixed on Malla Khaliq’s room. The curtain of the window was drawn, yet she could clearly see him through the curtain. He was restlessly pacing his room. However stubborn Abba might be, he is his own blood! He too has been restless like me for the last few days. He is also fighting a battle with himself.

  Malla Khaliq had finished his late night prayers. Qadir’s letter had hurled him in a whirlpool which left no exit for him. He felt very tired. He remained curled up in bed, but he could envision his dead wife imploring him, ‘Khala! Qadir is in deep pain. Don’t you see the daggers slashing my heart? I have already forgiven him, why can’t you?’

  Malla Khaliq was drenched in sweat. He suddenly got up, switched the light on and started pacing the room. Aziz’s voice echoed in his mind. Her voice faded away only to be replaced by Noor Mohammad’s voice saying, ‘Abba, he is in the clasp of death. He is looking for release, but he cannot unless you go see him. Now pardon him, please Abba.’ Finally it was Narayan Joo’s voice that told him: ‘How can I make you understand? He is suffering from cancer and that too in its final stage. Why don’t you understand? Is he not your own offspring? Is he not the dearest son of my sister Aziz?’ Malla Khaliq felt his head spinning. Holding it in his hands, he sat down on the bed, and closed his eyes. But Aziz Dyad’s voice did not leave him: ‘Khala! He is dying. If you don’t hold his head against your chest in his last hour, I will never forgive you. Get up and give up your ego. Time is running out. You will repent otherwise.’

  Malla Khaliq was at war with himself. He remembered everything one after the other: his principles, the hurts caused by Qadir, Zeb’s haplessness, the restlessness of Aziz’s soul, Noor Mohammad’s revolt, Narayan Joo’s imprecations. Finally he caved in.

  Zeb continued watching him from her open window. When she saw that he was going towards the ghat, she came out of her room, and reached the isle. She tiptoed after him. Malla Khaliq untied the boat. It was the same boat in which he had once strayed away to kill himself. He sat in the boat and turned its prow. Zeb got frightened. Before Malla Khaliq could push the boat away from the ghat, Zeb quietly stepped into it and crouched in a little space. Malla Khaliq looked over his shoulder and saw her. For a moment he was flummoxed, but he did not speak. He rowed towards Kotar Khana.

  The windowpane of Zeb’s room slammed in the wind and woke Bilal up. He went into her room and switched the light on. When he did not find his mother in the room, he went out and looked around. Hearing the sound of oaring, he went to the ghat. He could see a boat in the distance, moving towards Kotar Khana. He ran to Malla Khaliq’s room. He was also not in his room. He hurriedly went to the swamps, took out another boat and rowed fast towards Kotar Khana. There was a deathly silence all around. Malla Khaliq’s arms felt limp and lifeless and he oared slowly. Zeb feared that he might change his mind any time and turn the boat back. She knew that Malla Khaliq was still battling with himself,‘Allah, please give him strength.’

  Even after being given the strongest permissible dosage of morphine, Qadir remained in pain throughout the night. He was delirious and continued babbling: ‘Yes he must be coming – the boat is coming – yes, there it is – splashing – there, there – can’t you hear—’ He tried to turn towards Reeny, but his eyes closed, and he was unconscious again. Noor Mohammad and Doctor Dulloo sat in a corner of the room, watching Ghulam Qadir’s condition worsen by the minute. Vijay Kumar had left for Barzul to change into clean clothes, but had left his son Dilip with Sulaiman who sat in the lawn near the ghat.

  The clouds had thinned and the moon shone bright in the sky. The two young men continued to watch the silvery ripples in the lake.

  ‘It is quite beautiful, isn’t it?’ Dilip said.

  Sulaiman said, ‘You know, I had thought if Daddy recovered, we could open a big hotel on top of that mountain.’

  ‘No, not a big hotel,’ said Dilip, ‘for that would ruin the environment. In Switzerland, they have these small but modern hamlets for tourists. I have done a lot of research and collected reading material from there.’

  ‘That is not a bad idea. The Spice Village of Kerala is like that. You must see that,’ Sulaiman suggested.

  ‘Yes, I shall surely go there and see it. Let Qadir Uncle get well.’

  ‘Yes, he is suffering so much. Let me go check on him.’

  Sulaiman stood up, but Dilip stopped him. ‘Look, a boat seems to be coming in this direction.’

  Noor Mohammad also heard the sound of oars disturbing the stillness of the lake. He had dozed off for a short while and the sound awakened him. The sound was coming nearer and nearer. He got up and looked through the window. Reeny and Doctor Dulloo also woke up. Reeny said to him, ‘Who is there in the boat?’

  Noor Mohammad recognized his father in the moonlight. The beating in his heart quickened. He whispered to her, ‘Perhaps it is Abba.’ He went out for a closer look. The boat was touching the ghat. She asked Doctor Dulloo, ‘Who is that woman with him?’

  ‘She must be his daughter-in-law.’

  Reeny froze. She looked at Ghulam Qadir. He lay with his eyes wide open. He said to Reeny, ‘They have come – they have come to take me home! Yes, they—’

  Reeny was fidgeting like a caged bird. Qadir tried to sit up. He said to her, ‘See, they have come to take me … I … I will not go …’

  ‘No, no one can take you away. You just keep lying.’

  Noor Mohammad came in panting. ‘Qadir! Ghulam Qadir, your Abba has come to you, yes, your Abba!’

  Reeny shuddered. She drew the curtain of the dressing room attached with the bedroom and hid behind it as if she was a thief.

  Noor Mohammad pulled the curtain of the bedroom to one side, and Malla Khaliq walked in followed by Sulaiman. Zeb dithered; she did not have the courage to go in. She stood at the door. Noor Mohammad said to her, ‘Zeb, why don’t you come in?’ Sulaiman also requested her to come in, but her eyes remained fixed upon Ghulam Qadir’s cadaverous face. He was reduced to a skeleton.

  Malla Khaliq stood near the head of the bed. Noor Mohammad nudged him awake saying, ‘Dear Qadya! Ghulam Qadir! Open your eyes. Look, your Abba is here.’ Ghulam Qadir started, and opened his eyes. Malla Khaliq was overwhelmed. He held Qadir’s hand, sat at the edge of the bed, and held him close to his chest. Ghulam Qadir’s pain subsided a little. An unrestrained cry came out from him. ‘Abba!’ Malla Khaliq held his hand close to his own face drenched with tears. ‘No, Abba, don’t shed your precious tears for this good-for-nothing son of yours. Abba, please!’

  Reeny, hidden behind the curtain, felt like a stranger intruding on someone’s personal moment.

  Wiping his tears, Malla Khaliq looked at Zeb. ‘If you did not hesitate in coming here with me, why are you hesitating now to come nearer?’

  Zeb moved forward and stood near Ghulam Qadir’s feet. Her tears had run dry. She stared blankly into Ghulam Qadir’s face, softly chanting sacred verses for his absolution. Ghulam Qadir could hardly make eye contact with her and said to his father, ‘I know I have wronged her.’ Then turning to Zeb, he said, ‘Please forgive me.’

  ‘Allah alone can forgive mortals like us. We all should bow before Him for forgiveness.’ Having said this, she sat down on the floor. But Sulaiman got her a chair. She sat in it and continued reciting verses from the Quran.

  Qadir started closing his eyes when Bilal’s brisk steps were heard. He was heard asking someone outside, ‘Where is he? In that room?’ Qadir woke up again. Malla Khaliq, Zeb, Noor Mohammad and others there looked towards the door as Bilal stepped in.

  Reeny moved the curtain to one side and looked into the room. Bilal had come in fury, but when
he saw everyone there aghast, he held his anger back.

  Ghulam Qadir looked at his father’s face and said, ‘I know that Bilal will never forgive me. But Zoon Bhabhi, Mukhta, Parveen, her husband Abdul Razaq – where are they?’

  ‘They will come tomorrow morning. Parveen and Abdul Razaq are in Udhampur.’

  ‘When? When will they come? My time to leave has come, yes …’

  ‘Don’t say that. See, all of us are here praying to Allah for your recovery.’

  Malla Khaliq tried to comfort him, but Qadir started shivering. He held his father’s hand firmly and began to gasp desperately. ‘Abba – hold me – hold me closer, hold me, close—’

  Zeb sobbed loudly, yet continued reciting the holy verses. Malla Khaliq said to Ghulam Qadir, ‘Take Allah’s name, take His name—’

  But Ghulam Qadir’s breath refused to support him, his body became limp and his eyes were riveted to the roof. Noor Mohammad and Bilal poured a little water into his mouth. Malla Khaliq held him close and tight to his chest and recited: ‘Inallalu wa inaa ilaihi raajauun.’ On hearing these words, Reeny came out running, flung herself on Qadir’s body and started wailing loudly.

  Doctor Dulloo was still holding his wrist to feel the pulse, but his face clouded over. He gently closed Ghulam Qadir’s eyes and got up.

  Noor Mohammad was about to faint, but Bilal held him. Zeb continued to recite sacred verses and tried to comfort Reeny. Vijay Kumar’s son Dilip held Sulaiman to his chest as they wept. Malla Khaliq went out and sat in the portico of the houseboat. The night had ended and dawn was almost here. Far away the loudspeakers at Hazratbal began to play hymns which mingled with the breeze of the Dal. The tolling of the bells at the Shankaracharya temple seemed to be bestowing eternal rest on Ghulam Qadir’s soul.

  Vijay Kumar’s son Dilip entered the drawing room, and looked out to the prow of the houseboat. He saw Malla Khaliq bent in prayer. He quietly picked up the telephone and called his father to inform him about Ghulam Qadir’s death.