Age of Valor: Dragon Song
Page 14
“How can you be certain they were vagrants?” Tasarin asked.
Here Ashlynn stalled, searching for a plausible answer. The truth would have been much easier, but Jaryn was as yet unaware and she didn't want her story reaching him before she had a chance to tell him herself. “I suppose it is a gut feeling more than anything. Their clothes were not new, neither were they expensive; all of it looked to be cut from the same cloth. The few weapons I saw with them were well worn as though they had seen their fair share of fighting.”
Luella scowled. “Did they loot the monastery?”
“Not from what I could tell. Luella...” Ashlynn pursed her lips. “There is a family living in the woods. Please do not ask me how I know, only take the information for what it is. They need help and I know they can find it here.”
Luella looked as though she would solicit for more information, but ultimately she only nodded. “I will send some of my men out now to bring the family here to Montania where their situation can be further assessed. I will also order a full sweep of the woods.” With determination, Luella stalked toward the door. “I will not have my people terrorized by overlooked threats!”
When Luella had gone, leaving Tasarin and Ashlynn alone, Ashlynn gave her old friend a smile that was sympathetic. “How do you stand staying so silent, Tasarin? You were never so passive with me and I was not your wife. I was hardly even your ward, yet you had great influence on many of my decisions regarding the kingdom.”
Tasarin's return smile was one of patience. He sat before the comfortable fire, gazing at the flames thoughtfully. “You and Luella are very different creatures, Ashlynn. When you came to me you were young and determined to restore what was taken from you. This, perhaps, kept you from listening to your heart over your head, as I have no doubt you otherwise would have tossed me out the first day you arrived in Siness. You sought my help because I had been keeping Siness for you. I knew her people, I knew the land and those with which we maintained good and bad relations. You needed me and you recognized it, and without giving up any of that independent strength of yours, you let me help you.”
Ashlynn sat as well, grimacing. “Luella is not so quick to ask for help.”
“Can you blame her? Tadhg's reputation hangs over her head every moment. She is determined to prove she is nothing like him while maintaining everything that is familiar. We are still new in our lives together. When she asks my opinion, I give it freely. Though it is not rare for her to make most decisions regarding Caedia before consulting me, she comes to me more and more as the days pass. Soon she will recognize the weight of her crown and remember that I am here to help carry her burdens. She will not feel the need to live up to the reputation set by the Sinessian High Queen.”
Blinking, Ashlynn's brows came together. “Me? What example have I ever set that would merit someone like Luella trying to meet it? Does she forget I was raised in secret, in a kingdom that barely had any land under its rule? I am younger than she is, I know less the ways of a high court and am making the rules up as I go.”
“That is what she envies. You are impulsive and act on instinct rather than fact. Luella lived in a world where feeling was frowned upon and thought reckless, yet she sees how your people love and trust you. She wants to prove she can be as great as you, as beloved.”
Ashlynn shook her head. “To whom? Certainly not me.”
“Perhaps to herself.”
Looking to the door through which Luella had disappeared, Ashlynn sighed quietly. “I do so love that silly girl, and I worry for her, though knowing you are here and that she is beginning to trust your views on things makes it easier. If we were not all so on the outs with Ibays, I would say it was time for a summit. We have control back in our hands and need to come to some agreements.”
“It is hard to do when one party isolates themselves.” Frowning, Tasarin took Ashlynn in with concern in his eyes. “Speaking of isolating, your husband left a discussion we were having after receiving some news from one of our messengers. He seemed rather melancholy.”
“I should find him, then.” She rose and took the cloak she'd draped over the back of her chair. “Hopefully there is no bad news from home.”
Tasarin politely rose as well. “I pray not.” His lips twitched downward. “We will both be sad to see you leave in the morning.”
The sentiment made Ashlynn take a deep breath and clutch her cloak a bit tighter. “As will I. It has been so nice being here, spending time with you and meeting Tiyal. I can tell he adores you and will be praying Luella does not let timidity keep her much longer from these most precious months as he grows.”
“Thank you.”
“See you at supper.”
She left the office with thoughts of Jaryn on her mind. It took a great deal to change his usually light demeanor to something heavier, and she worried over what sort of news he might have received. For a brief moment she wondered if Ibays had actually made good on their threats and set foot on Sinessian shores with ill intent. Though it was certainly not a favored situation, it was one that held the least amount of trouble. If Ibays was hurting as badly as it seemed, there was little doubt that the armies were weak and the men wearing the armor thin beneath it. Wessely could handle that sort of predicament until she and Jaryn were home, surely. Other possible dangers, darker and more dangerous threats that still lingered in taunting whispers from the shadows, made flutters of anxiety shudder through her body.
Reaching the rooms they shared, Ashlynn already had a question on her lips and several to follow any given answer, but found her chambers empty. She called Jaryn's name in case he was tucked into one of the antechambers or the sitting room, but no answer came. Confused, she entered her ladies' room to find it empty as well.
“Where has everyone gone?”
She tossed her cloak onto her bed before leaving and walking down toward the opposite end of the castle from which she'd come. There was a small group of well-dressed men and women together, two ladies sitting on a bench in the muted light of day while two men stood near, all of them full of smiles and light chatter. As Ashlynn drew closer they paused out of politeness and curiosity, but when it became obvious that she was coming to speak to them, all four stood to greet her properly.
“Forgive my intrusion, but I am not as familiar with Montania as I am with my own home, and seem to have lost track of my husband. Has he been through here, by chance?”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” said one of the girls. “He passed through here not too long ago, on his way to the nursery, perhaps.”
Ashlynn smiled her thanks. “Then that is where I shall look.” The group stayed together, silent and standing as she swept past, though it wasn't long before she heard whispers at her back. This was something she was used to; many women were fascinated by her gowns and her jewels, and men lamented the fact that they had not been able to woo Ashlynn before Jaryn either because they admired her or wanted the power she could give. This time, however, the whispers made her feel like a child who was smiled upon one moment and gossiped about as soon as their back was turned. She glanced over her shoulder at the group as she continued on, their chatter stopping as they all returned her gaze. It was well within her rights to demand they tell her what was such a heated topic that they felt they had to whisper urgently to each other as soon as she was away, or at the very least to stop their prattle, but she hurried on to find Jaryn, casting it aside to focus on potentially more pressing matters at home.
His voice came to her before she even got to the door, something about it having a calming effect. She peeked in and found Jaryn holding Lochlainn by the window, both of them with their backs to Ashlynn as they watched the snow fall. She could see half of Lochlainn's face and the way his bright green eyes darted this way and that, doing his best to watch what was going on outside. He lifted pudgy fingers to touch the glass, his expression blank until the cold chilled him. With a wrinkled brow, he screeched at the window and withdrew his hand, clearly unhappy with th
e result of his exploration. Jaryn laughed quietly, making Lochlainn look up at his father. A wet smile split his lips and he grabbed Jaryn's beard, laughing himself if only to mimic Jaryn. “Easy, lad,” Jaryn chuckled. He bent his head down and made a chomping sound against Lochlainn's neck, sending the baby into fits of squeals and giggles. He wiggled as if trying to get away, but when Jaryn lifted his head, Lochlainn batted at his lips. “Again?' Jaryn asked, then attacked his son once more.
The sight of the two of them was so dear, for a moment Ashlynn forgot every worry she carried. It was easy to shut out the rest of the world and the responsibilities that constantly waited for them in these precious simple times. She could see the adoration in Lochlainn's face each time Jaryn met his eyes, and felt her heart swell. When Jaryn pretended to bite Lochlainn again, he turned just enough so that he saw Ashlynn, and gasped.
“Who's that in the door? Do we know her?”
“I should hope so,” Ashlynn replied, teasing. Her voice was enough to pull Lochlainn's attention. As soon as he saw her he began bouncing in Jaryn's arms and trying to wiggle free. Crouching, she opened her arms and said, “Come to me, my handsome boy.”
Jaryn set Lochlainn on the stone floor. He crawled his way to his mother with a thin stream of drool in his wake. Ashlynn scooped him up and kissed his face all over, eliciting just as much laughter and joy as Jaryn had with his antics. “Silly boy, you'll ruin your new clothes!”
“I told you we should wait until he stops crawling,” Jaryn warned affectionately. “You were just too excited.”
“Of course I was! It is just as much fun to have new things for him as it is for me.” She touched Lochlainn's nose with her own. “Isn't it?”
“He'll be spoiled, I'm sure of it.”
Looking at Jaryn now, Ashlynn gave him a sly smile. “That is why he will be fostered somewhere other than Altaine.” Lochlainn was squirming, wanting to get down again, and crawled back to Jaryn to be lifted once more. Ashlynn took the opportunity to peek into Tiyal's bassinet. “Oh, he's here! Where have all the nannies and his nurse gone?”
Jaryn shrugged. “I sent them away. He's been sleeping since I got here and I didn't want some strange women watching me while I spent time with my own son. It was...awkward.”
Ashlynn giggled, careful as she slid her hands under the sleeping infant to lift him into her arms. “Goodness, he is so light for such a long baby. Lochlainn wasn't this tall.”
“Lochlainn was also born more than a month early.” Jaryn left the window to stand beside his wife. With the baby so near, Lochlainn watched him with careful interest, almost as though he was afraid to move or even make a sound. Perhaps he'd made the connection already that a sleeping baby was a baby that didn't cry, and it was best to keep it that way.
“I do hope Tasarin and Luella are able to enjoy this little one as much as we have Lochlainn.”
Jaryn looked at his own son and kissed his chubby cheek. “Tasarin already does, that much is obvious. Luella will, I should hope. Having you here as an example should spark something in her.”
Ashlynn pressed her lips together and shook her head. “You're the second person today to tell me I am an example to her.”
“Well you are, love. Whether you wanted to be or not, you're the first woman to rule a kingdom, and you're the first truly hands-on mother she has seen. Even when we were all together again on Mirasean for Tasarin and Luella's wedding and Nuala had Lucien, she also had several nannies and others who were capable of feeding him or to take over when she didn't feel like filling that role at that particular time. You have never let anyone else feed Lochlainn except when you locked yourself away in the tower; even when you have been unwell he has been your priority. It is something to admire.”
Lifting her gaze from the sleeping child in her arms, Ashlynn looked up at her husband with a tender smile. “Thank you, my love, though I feel as though I have spent less time with him of late.” She angled her head up for a kiss, a silent request that Jaryn was all too happy to fulfill. “I thank the Giver every day for both of you. Soon to be three of you. I know He has truly blessed me.” She tilted her head, examining the calm expression on Jaryn's face. “Tasarin told me you received news from a messenger and it shifted your mood, but you don't seem downcast to me.”
The simple statement was enough to change Jaryn's demeanor completely. The love in his eyes dimmed, replaced by a wrinkle in his brow and disappointment tugging down the corners of his mouth. “I would have been happy to discuss it later and to savor this cheerful time.” He sighed and turned, setting Lochlainn down by a pile of toys. When he straightened, he put his hands on his hips. The way he looked at Ashlynn made her feel defensive, as though he were about to accuse her of something, and she held the baby a little tighter to her shoulder.
“What is it?”
“Remember that conversation we had just this morning about being honest with each other?”
“Yes.”
Jaryn pressed his lips together. If he was waiting for Ashlynn to say something it would be awhile, and when he realized as much, he sighed once more. “You told me you were going to the monastery.”
She flinched, a rush of heat coloring her cheeks. “What?”
“This morning you told me you wanted to go to the monastery to pay your respects to Briac. Why, then, when you came across dead bodies in the snow before you even reached your destination, did you pause to examine them as though you had been expecting them to lay right where they were?”
“I...” It was rare for Ashlynn to be speechless, but it was just as rare to hear Jaryn sound so angry. Though he kept his voice quiet so as not to wake Tiyal or bother Lochlainn, she could see the way his jaw clenched and unclenched beneath his beard. “I can explain.” Yet before she could offer any sort of explanation, a thought struck and her eyes narrowed. “How did you...did you have me followed?”
He looked at her as if the answer should have been obvious. “Of course I did.”
The heat in her face went from embarrassment at being caught to indignation. Her brows rose and she glanced at her son as he crawled around the room, though Jaryn did not lack her attention for long. “I can't believe you!”
“You can't believe me?! You want to go out riding by yourself in the woods with no guard and only Killian to accompany you after the strange happenings the other night? And that was only after I refused to let you go alone! Ashlynn, despite him staying in Altaine all winter, we know very little about this man. Did you really think I was going to let him go off alone with you, my pregnant wife, and not have some added precaution? You can't even shift right now.”
“Yes,” she hissed, “I am well aware of that fact. Can you please call the nannies back in? I would rather not fight in front of the children.” She placed Tiyal back in his bassinet as carefully as she'd extracted him. “I will be in our chambers.” Ashlynn swept past Jaryn to kiss her son, then left the nursery without another word. As she stalked down the hall she kept her focus forward, even when she passed the same group as before. It was only when she was finally alone in her rooms did she cast off her stony demeanor. She huffed and threw open the doors of her wardrobe to pull out dresses that had been hung to toss them on the bed. Only twice in her life had she packed for anything herself, but her anger made her stand on tip toes to reach for the heavy trunk on top of the closet and tug, grunting in frustration at the weight and the way it barely moved.
The door opened behind her and Jaryn rushed in, crying, “What in blazes are you doing?” He didn't quite shove her out of the way but was assertive in taking the handle himself and giving a mighty pull. The trunk came down in his arms, making him stagger under the weight before dropping it to the floor. When his hands were free, he turned, incredulous, to his wife and asked again, “What are you doing?”
“Packing.” She opened the trunk and began shoving her dresses inside. “We are leaving tomorrow morning, after all.”
“Stop.”
“It's fine. I l
eft one out for supper tonight and my heaviest dress for sailing home.”
“Ashlynn, stop!”
She took in a shuddering breath and straightened, keeping her gaze fixed on the wall behind the bed. Her fists clenched handfuls of her skirts in preparation for the lecture she was about to receive. She and Jaryn had never lacked in passion when they were in each other's company, though that passion was not always expressed in loving glances and touches. When they argued they could be just as passionate, and she steeled herself for it now. When he said nothing, however, and sat on the bed, she slid her eyes in his direction.
Jaryn bent forward to lean his elbows on his knees, his fingers lacing together into a tight fist that he rested his chin and mouth against. It was impossible to see his eyes under his heavy brows, but Ashlynn knew there was sadness and defeat in them. He didn't know what to say to her and she didn't know how to begin explaining. A large portion of her was furious at his decision to send someone after her to watch her; this part told her he didn't trust her and thought her weak and helpless as any other pregnant woman. Yet there was a smaller part of her which tried to speak reason, to remind her it was his love for her that made him cautious, and that she should be grateful he was looking after her.
“What are we doing?” The question was heavy with sorrow, making Ashlynn feel two inches tall. Jaryn let his hands drop and craned his neck to look up at her, still hunched over his knees. “Was it not only a few hours ago that we stood in this very room together, promising to be honest with each other and stop this idiotic arguing?”
“Yes.” She relaxed her fingers and stepped over the trunk to sit beside her husband. “There were things I wanted to tell you, but you rushed out so quickly this morning after you heard of Killian's injury.”