Married to the Alien Admiral: Renascence Alliance Series Book 1

by Alma Nilsson

  “Why would she not be happy to be married to you? There’s nothing wrong with you. She is a lowly human, and you are the best of the Alliance. Why didn’t she feel honored that you chose her?”

  “I don’t think she ever saw herself getting married or doing anything but dying in her ship. It was quite a surprise to be thrown into a marriage, no matter how attractive she might have found me. And humans have been isolated for so long, they still see themselves as quite important in the galaxy, despite every fact telling them the opposite,” he could not help but smile then, “In some ways, it’s good they have some pride, no matter how misplaced. It’ll make it easier for them to act like Alliance citizens once they accept that they are the Lost People.”

  “It’s a good thing that they are so attractive or else they would already be punished for this pride. And did you tell her that you were the successor to the imperial throne? Maybe that is why she ran away. She was scared of being killed for it.”

  “I told her I was the successor, and she was unimpressed and uninterested. I think she was more upset that she might have to do something rather than command her little starship. I know, it does not make any sense, but humans seem to be, as we have often noticed, focused on the wrong things.”

  “Gods Tir, I still can’t believe you married a human. Anyway, we digress. It helps that she has been imprisoned by her own people. It doesn’t make your behavior look quite so bad, but you shouldn’t keep her on your ship, you should send her home to us to learn what is expected of an Alliance woman. Your sister Hes is so curious to meet her. If you intend to keep her, she should be here with us so that we may take the necessary steps to train her.”

  Tir closed his eyes for a second to calm himself, but he didn’t like Kara being referred to as a person who needed to be tamed. In the weeks that he had shared with her, he had realized that there was some joy in human behavior and that he didn’t want all of her human spirit thrashed out of her to become a second class Alliance woman. “No, that will not be necessary. I’ll keep her here with me.” And I am worried about how my sisters would treat her, an alien, a human.

  “If she becomes pregnant, she’ll have to come home to us. Your doctors cannot help a woman on a starship. It goes against the gods Tir. Whatever you are thinking about that, abandon that plan.”

  Tir did not want to go into that with his mother. He knew she would be very upset by the whole thing and then would not help him now with the High Council. “Of course,” he said. “Now, about the High Council’s approval?”

  “I’ll push this through and arrange a new rendezvous with the new Ambassador to Earth. We can’t have old Tui there anymore now that we need to do something other than monitor the comings and goings of humans. We will all be praying for you. May the gods grant you success.”

  “Even if I’m unworthy,” he answered his mother with the response to the set phrase and then they both signed out.

  A small ding at Kara’s quarters onboard the Silverado announced an ensign’s arrival. “Here are some clothes for you, Captain. Do you want me to take that Alliance dress and throw it out an airlock?”

  Kara forced a smile at the young ensign, “Thank you, no. I’ll take pleasure in doing the honors myself.” Kara took the human fleet uniform from the ensign and dismissed him.

  She began taking off the Alliance dress and realized it was impossible to do without thinking of Tir how he touched her so tenderly here and there. She tried to dispel those memories from her mind but couldn’t. In the end, she just let them play out as she undressed, and tears were streaming down her cheeks silently. She smiled sadly as she took off two of the three pairs of Alliance stockings she had on and folded them with the dress. She left one pair on. Kara could not help but remember that his cool grey hands on been on these stockings less than a day before. She tried to think about something else then as she put on some underwear and a bra that was supposed to be her size but was too small now, then zipped up her human fleet uniform. Once she was dressed, she looked down at the folded black Alliance dress and decided she would keep it. She did not want to admit to herself why, so she just put it in the small closet and closed the door.

  Kara looked at herself in the mirror and thought, This is the first step, next step, stop crying. She wiped her eyes. Then she noticed the barrette in her hair and she gingerly touched it. She looked at her reflection, her eyes were red from crying, “Take it out Rainer,” she said quietly to herself and then with shaky hands she removed the barrette and put it in her pocket. Kara thought about putting it with the dress, but she wanted to keep it close. Tir had given that to her, and for all the terrible things he had done, there was a small part of her that did like him and an even larger part of her that could forgive him now that she was out of the situation and back with her own people. Finally, she tried to take off the marriage bracelet, but it would not budge even after several attempts of serious trying. She decided that for the moment it didn’t matter because there would be very few humans who knew what it was and as long as she wore long sleeves no one could see it anyway.

  Another ding at her door and Micah was there, “Are you ready, Kara?” He could see that she had been crying and he felt sympathy for her.

  “Yes, let’s go,” she tried to speak without any emotion. She had mixed feelings about this abortion. She had never thought about abortion before. It had never occurred to her that she would have to consider it for herself, but here she was now, and it was the moment of truth. Unprepared, but then she thought, Is anyone ever prepared to think about abortion until they need to decide for themselves? She tried to console herself that this was the right thing to do. It was a hybrid child, so easily conceived that it would only increase the chances of humanity being all-consumed by the much larger Alliance Empire. But without any way to stop it, she heard Tir’s voice in her head saying, ‘It goes against the gods, Kara.’ She did not doubt that this absolutely would go against the gods if there were any. But she was not religious, and she quieted that voice in her head down by thinking, This has nothing to do with my or Tir’s religious beliefs, but everything to do with taking a life and whether or not I believe that this is a life and if it is indeed a life, what this life would represent to both of our civilizations. The birth of a returned people, if humans are the Lost People as the Alliance believes or the beginning of a wave of hybrid people that could wipe out the uniqueness of humanity only fueling the Alliance’s demographics issue wiping out both Alliance and humanity. Come on Rainer, what do I think? Is this the start of a beautiful and harmonious relationship? Or would mine and Tir’s hybrid represent the beginning of the end for humanity and possibly the Alliance as well. For, no doubt, whatever if killing their women might kill ours too in time. What do I think?

  Micah spoke to her as they walked into sickbay, but she was not listening. All she kept thinking was, Am I a murderer of an innocent, or are these just cells? Am I saving humanity or just proving I am a savage as all the other species in the galaxy claim humans to be? As they walked into a deserted sickbay and Micah led her to the back, she was overcome with angst and confusion. She followed Micah’s instructions though and laid down on the medical bed after removing some of her clothes, but after a few minutes said, “No, stop. I can’t do this Micah.”

  “Kara?” Micah asked as he put down his scanner.

  “I know it sounds like I have lost my mind, but I can’t do this now. It’s still early enough that I can do this back on Earth, right? I’m too confused to make this decision now.”

  Micah sighed, “Kara, I can’t force you to do this, but as your friend and your doctor, I highly recommend it and a good therapist to speak to when you get back to Earth. You’ve been through a lot.” Micah was also disappointed not to be the first one to look at a human-Alliance hybrid and be able to write a paper on it.

  Tears were in her eyes, and she said softly, “Don’t be ridiculous Micah. We were never friends,” and he gave her a sympathetic smile, “I need time. I�
�ll do it. I just can’t right now, but I need you to record it as an abortion, so I don’t look suspicious. I know I won’t keep it.”

  He gave her a disapproving look, “I understand your concern, but I can’t do that,” this hybrid would not just be a normal abortion, it would be saved and studied. Every doctor would want to see it, so there is no way he could get away with a lie. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. No one will think you are really a spy. It doesn’t make any sense. The Alliance has already proven that they can take what they want from us without asking. They wouldn’t need to convert any citizens to be spies. But I know that some people, like Captain Jackson, think too highly of Earth and like to believe we are worth spying on. And there are those onboard who find it odd that you were so effortlessly rescued and that your doctor remained onboard the Refa as a prisoner.”

  “Please Micah, listen,” tears were falling freely down her cheeks, “I’ve killed so many in this war, I just can’t right now, but Captain Jackson will definitely think I’m a spy if I don’t, but I’m not,” she took his hands in hers and looked him in the eyes, “You know I’m not a spy. I’ve done everything I’ve ever been asked to do.”

  “I know you aren’t a spy, but that is because I know you. This hybrid is an abomination, Kara. You’re so confused.” He put a hand on her shoulder and said, “Trust me and do this now.”

  “Please Micah, give me more time but mark it as done, just between you and me for old time’s sake. Will you do that for me?”

  “The best I can do is to note it that you came here for this procedure but nothing more. I’d also ask that when you are ready, and I’m sure once you come to your senses, you’ll be ready, you must do the abortion with me. As for everyone else, Captain Jackson will not ask but assume that it is done. If anyone else asks, this falls under doctor-patient confidentiality, so I’ll not say one way or another, but that only goes so far. If you’re arrested and put on trial, if I’m asked, I’ll tell the truth. And if you wait too long, the truth will show itself soon anyway.”

  “I understand Micah, thank you. I owe you.”

  “You owe me nothing, Kara. I always knew you had a conscious in there somewhere. I’m just surprised it’s showing itself now for this hybrid child.” Micah could not forget their last argument when they were still lovers. He had wanted to become more serious and have a child together, and Kara had said to him coldly, ‘I’d never want to be a mother to our child.’ And now he looked at her and wondered, Are you a spy, Kara? Do you want to live as a wife to this zombie? Do you think you love him? And jealousy and despair rose up inside of him as he watched her walk out of sickbay.

  Kara spent the rest of the day in bed. The Silverado’s counselor came to see her, but Kara sent her away. She said she would like to be alone today. The counselor said that she would return tomorrow.

  Kara laid in her bed and looked at the metal ceiling. She was happy to be back with her own people, but she questioned herself why she was not happier or more relieved. She fell asleep thinking about everything that had happened over the last few months and of course there was just one person she kept thinking about, Tir. She wondered if he was in pursuit of the Silverado now or if he would have given up and decided that maybe he was wrong, and they were not destined for each other after all. She had no idea how Alliance marriages worked. She wondered if they could be just as easily dissolved as they were created. She fell asleep thinking about all this.

  She awoke in the early morning and felt sick. She got up and went to the toilet and was happy; nothing in human bathrooms talked. She threw up. In between the acid taste of vomit, she saw and tasted a bit of the chocolate and thought about Tir again. Then she whispered to the vomit filled toilet, “Stockholm syndrome,” and flushed it.

  Once the queasiness had passed, she went to the Silverado’s mess hall got herself a coffee and piece of bread. She did not like all the curious looks the Silverado’s crew was giving her though and ended up taking her coffee and bread back to her temporary quarters. There, she sat down in front of the computer and began reading about everything of interest that had happened since she had been taken prisoner aboard the Refa. Nothing she read surprised her.

  The human fleet had tried to stay back and out of the war between the Jahay and the Alliance as much as possible, to keep human causalities low. Kara read it and thought, And we are not even ashamed about this.

  No humans were elected to the Galaxy Court this year, not that a human had ever been elected into the Galaxy Court. Every year, a new Galaxy Court made up of 10,111 members was elected from all the civilizations of the galaxy. The only requirement was that a civilization must have a universal technology rating of at least three. Humans had a technology rating of barely four, and because of that, other species did not think humans could be trusted to sit on a committee that tried to keep some unbiased record and order in the galaxy. Humans were always complaining that the galaxy was prejudice against them, but Kara had a different reflection after being aboard the Refa and living with the Alliance, she had to admit, the Alliance was more advanced in many more ways, and maybe it was right, the galaxy’s distrust of humans, it was not just human technology that was unevolved but their culture as well, there was very little structure or societal recourse for crimes, unlike many of other cultures in the galaxy. Kara, of course, preferred human culture to Alliance, but she had to admit, she could see where other civilizations might find faults with the way humans governed themselves and interacted with other species.

  A new restaurant on Earth had opened, and it encouraged diners to masturbate during the desert course with a vibrator specifically designed to accompany the dish, and she thought, And we wonder why no one takes us seriously?

  Then she was surprised to see as breaking news across the bottom of the news screen that Earth’s government had already set a date to begin negotiating war reparations with the Alliance. That was fast, she thought, Of course, they are. They want to keep all of those human women from the Dakota in the Alliance without causing too much attention to themselves. And probably retrieve me, she also thought solemnly. She closed the computer then, she didn’t want to think about it.

  It wasn’t long before the day passed. The councilor, as promised, had come to see her and they talked for hours about her capture, captivity, and abortion. Kara did not say whether she had had an abortion or not. She just let the councilor believe that she had. She also didn’t mention getting married because the counselor didn’t think to ask it, as she was mainly focused on Kara’s readjustment back into human society after having been kept as a sex slave. That is what the councilor had called her a ‘sex slave.’ The councilor had told her that the rapes had not been her fault even if she had not fought back. Kara did at this point, try to say that it had not been rape any of the times, but the councilor had already made up her mind about what had happened. Kara felt incredibly guilty now that Tir was a documented rapist. The counselor asked her to sign off on their discussion and information received. Kara didn’t want to do this.

  “Do you mind if you change that, he didn’t rape me,” Kara said seriously, but gently.

  “I understand that you are confused. This is called Stockholm Syndrome. I have written that here too. It’s because of this. You are trying to protect your captors. Please sign Captain Rainer,” the councilor was forceful now, and Kara knew that she was not going to back down, but neither could she.

  “I can’t sign this. It was not rape.”

  “Captain, I understand that you believe that right now. I’m signing you up for regular sessions with someone on Earth to help you work through this. Just relax. None of this is your fault and given some time, this will all become clearer to you.”

  Then the counselor left, and Kara felt even more confused. Did Tir rape her? she questioned herself. No, it was not rape. Forced marriage absolutely, but she wanted him every time as wrong as that was.

  That night Kara had dinner with Captain Jackson in his qu
arters. She was happy to have human food again. It was so good, she ate a lot and kept commenting to Captain Jackson how good it was. She had to listen to a lot of nonsense propaganda about how if humanity were just given a chance, the rest of the galaxy would give us the respect he thought we deserved. Kara did not believe any of that. She saw the facts as they were, and humans were undeniably almost last in everything because they were the last to this galactic technology party. She wished that people would accept that and start from there, but then she reasoned sweet-smelling lies were always better. She listened to the Captain politely, thanked him again for rescuing her and hoped that she would never have to have dinner with him again as he was just as racist against aliens as they were against humans.

  On her way back to her temporary quarters, she ran into Micah, who she suspected had been waiting to pass her in the hallway. “Kara, I want to talk to you.”

  “Is this about my health?” She did not want to be alone with him right now. She had had some wine and was obviously emotionally vulnerable. He would only add to her confusion.

  “Not officially. I am just worried about you as a friend.”

  “I am fine, just ask the councilor.”

  “Yes, I read her notes. I don’t think you should be alone right now.” He began walking with her towards her quarters.

  When they arrived at her door, they both stopped. She did not open the door.