Oh, Keep Your Shirt On: A Sweet Romantic Comedy (Shaped By Love Book 2)

by Michelle Pennington

  When the girl came back, she held her keys out to Damien and tilted her head in a flirtatious way that would only look stupid if I tried it. Jen was obviously into him. She watched him walk away and stared after him long enough to reveal her obsession. And honestly, despite how completely annoyed I was with her for parking in my driveway, I had no idea why Damien wasn’t taking her up on everything she was so clearly offering. If I was a guy, I would have.

  Damien was gone for a lot longer than I expected. With my cramps and sore feet, I didn’t wait for him for long. Instead, I curled up on my futon and finished my cake. I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until my doorbell rang. It took everything I had to pull myself up and go to the door.

  “Why are you sitting in the dark?” he asked, holding out my keys.

  I took them and moved a few feet away to hang them up, not realizing he’d follow me inside when I did so. It surprised me, since he had a party going on, but I mentally shrugged and answered his question. “So my living room doesn’t become a fish bowl for all your friends to see into.”

  He grinned and nodded, his eyes searching my face. “You really hate it when I have parties, don’t you?”

  “You noticed that, huh? One of these days, maybe I’ll call the owner and let him know what his landlord gets up to.”

  Damien gave a short, surprised laugh. “You didn’t know? I am the owner.”

  “What? You are?”

  “Yeah. Sorry there’s no one else for you to complain to about the party, but why don’t you join us so you can have a good time?”

  “No thanks. Even if I didn’t ache from head to toe, parties with strangers aren’t really my thing.” Or any kind of party, but he didn’t need to know that.

  He grinned at me then, both shameless and charming. “You could try out my hot tub. It could help with those aches and pains.”

  It was such a ludicrous idea that I gave a short, hard chuckle.

  He drew back, surprised. “Wait, was that a laugh?”

  “That was a scoff.”

  “Well, maybe for someone else, but I think for you that definitely qualified as a laugh. Maybe I should ask you the question I really want to ask while you’re in a good mood.”

  “What in the world made you think I was in a good mood?”

  He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his shoulder against the wall like he was in no hurry to leave. “Besides the laugh?”

  “Still wasn’t a laugh.”

  He ignored my interruption. “You have something…right here,” he said, motioning to a spot at the corner of his own mouth.

  I closed my eyes in embarrassment and sighed. “It’s chocolate,” I said, wiping at it. I watched him for a moment, waiting for my steely gaze to do its job and scare him off, but he didn’t look at all uncomfortable, so I gave in. “Do you want to come into the living room?”

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  I left him to follow me but turned to watch him when he stopped to look around.

  Except for one of my most recent paintings, there was literally nothing in the room except for the futon, a cheap coffee table, and a thrifted lamp.

  “Huh…I like what you’ve done with the place,” he said with just enough dry humor in his voice to make my lips quiver.

  Dang it. I wasn’t in the mood to laugh right now. Feigning disinterest, I picked up my fork and trash and carried them to the kitchen. “What did you want?”

  He followed me with a slow, relaxed stride, then leaned against the counter and watched me wash my fork. “I need a date to my cousin’s wedding in a few weeks. Will you go with me?”

  He spoke in English, quite clearly and with only the very faintest Texan accent, but his words made no sense. I don’t know what I’d expected him to say, but it wasn’t that. “You want…me…to be your date to a wedding? Where all your family will be?”

  For just a second, he bit his bottom lip between his straight, white teeth, as if repressing a smile, but it still found its way to his eyes. “Yes.”

  I gave him a narrow look. “You have a backyard full of beautiful women, but you’re asking me?”

  He looked out toward his backyard as if confused, then said the last thing I expected. “None of them are tough enough to face my mom.”

  I sorted all this new information into different places in my mind, each of them eliciting a different emotion—he’d told his buddy that I was scary, he didn’t bother to reassure me about my own looks, his mom must be intimidating for some reason, and most importantly, he wasn’t asking me out because he liked me. Every single point made it easy to give my answer. “No.”

  Damien didn’t respond right away, but to my surprise, he didn’t look the least bit surprised or disappointed. In fact, a half smile tugged at the corner of his lips, which—ugh!—I was paying way too much attention to. A slow country song pulsed through the dark towards us, a jarring but somehow fitting backdrop for this weird moment even though I couldn’t even understand the lyrics.

  Finally, he took a deep breath and smiled. “Well, I guess I got the first no over with,” he said as he stepped over to the glass door and slid it partially open.

  “Wait, what?”

  “I’m not giving up yet, you know. I figured I’d have to ask a few dozen times at least before you agreed. Good night, Krista. I’ll talk to you later.”

  It was a good thing he didn’t look back as he stepped outside and closed the door behind him. If he had, he would have seen my mouth hanging open—which totally would have killed my image.

  And the scary part was, if he kept asking, I might be stupid enough to say yes.

  Chapter Three

  When I went to work the next evening, I was half way there before I remembered that my tank was empty. My hands tightened on the wheel as I looked down at my gas gauge, expecting to see the needle way past empty. Surely any second I was going to run out of gas. But it was on full.

  “What in the world?” I asked out loud.

  I was an airhead, but surely I hadn’t completely forgotten a whole trip to the gas station—especially not the part where I closely watched the meter to make sure I didn’t put more in my tank than I could pay for.

  No. I hadn’t filled it up.

  Thinking back to the night before, it had definitely been on empty when I’d gotten home. What had happened then? I’d parked at the end of the street and given Damien my keys to move it…

  And he was gone for much longer than I had expected. Had he filled up my tank for me?

  It was the only thing I could think of. But that was…a problem. Okay, it was super sweet. But now I had to pay him back for it, and I didn’t have enough cash to pay for a full tank. I still had to give him my rent check too. Which, dang it, I should have given him last night. Since I now had to pay the late fee, there was just nothing left. Not if I wanted to eat anyway. Guess I’d be eating ramen and peanut butter again.

  Why did he even do it? I was just a delinquent renter to him. Then a thought occurred to me. Maybe he was trying to sweeten me up so I’d agree to go to that wedding with him.

  Well, it wouldn’t work. I didn’t date—at all—but even going as a favor was out of the question. I would definitely end up embarrassing both of us. I didn’t know the first thing about being someone’s date to a wedding, not to mention that the whole thing would send me into a spiral of insecurity.

  Honestly, it was one of the reasons I’d moved away from my mom—and not told her where I was going. She was always nagging me to do this and that so I’d be more attractive to men. “Come on, Krista. Try smiling once in a while—like Victoria.”

  Ah, Victoria. My much admired but seldom seen stepsister with the glossy black curls, flawless teeth and complexion, and a figure that would make Barbie jealous.

  Being compared to her had become a fun new level of torture in my interactions with my mom. As you can imagine, I didn’t react the way she wanted me to.

  But it wasn’t just that. I’d sworn to never change
myself for anyone. I’d endured years of watching her primp and flirt and change herself to get a man. She was like a chameleon, matching the image of whomever she was currently with. And where did it all get her? Three broken marriages and no idea who she really was anymore. If it was enough to give me an identity crisis to watch her constant metamorphosis through the years, I can’t imagine what it did to her.

  I didn’t have much in the way of natural beauty, but at least I knew who I was. So if I didn’t have what men wanted…well…too bad.

  There were moments when resentment crept in, however—like when I saw the restaurant’s first guests for the evening. They were an adorable elderly couple who were obviously madly in love with each other. The husband gave me their name for the reservation and grinned a big denture smile as he said, “It’s our fifty-second anniversary.”

  I couldn’t deny the pang of longing in my chest as his wife smiled up at him. She’d obviously had a hair appointment that day, and her coral-pink lipstick perfectly matched her sweater set. The antique opal earrings she wore glowed with an inner light outshone only by the sparkle in her eyes. I didn’t doubt she’d been adored their whole life together. If I could have something like that, I’d be tempted, but I knew how unlikely it was that a man would ever think of me like that.

  “Thank you so much for choosing us for your celebration,” I said, smiling with more natural warmth than usual as I picked up their menus. Since I had the pick of the restaurant, I decided to seat them at a quiet table in the corner. No VIP or high-powered executive would deserve it as much as these two. “We’ll make sure you have a perfect evening. Let me show you to your table.”

  After they were seated, I caught their server as he headed over to them. “Take care of these two, Connor.”

  He looked their way and nodded. “You know I will.”

  My pleasant mood lasted for the next hour as the restaurant began to fill up. Luckily, I wasn’t cramping as much as yesterday, and since it was a Friday, tips were sure to be good. Maybe, just maybe, I could allow myself to feel happy for a while.

  An hour after the dinner rush began, I came back from the dining floor to my hostess station and found two eye-catching men in suits waiting casually. I looked them over as I went forward, noting their posture and dress, as well as the way they interacted with each other. The shorter of the two had a thinner frame and seemed to have an abundance of nervous energy from the way he kept shifting and looking at his watch. The other stood calmly, perfectly at ease, eying him with amusement. He drew a second look from me just because of how handsome he was.

  As I moved around the counter, they both turned to look at me, and I tried to take a mental snapshot of the good-looking one to try to sketch later.

  “Welcome, gentlemen.” This time my smile was more formal. It never hurt to let men who were obviously used to getting their way think you were overly impressed with them. “Do you have a reservation?”

  “Yes. Under the name Schlesinger.”

  I nodded and looked it up in the computer. I found a reservation for four and figured their dates must be coming separately. Were they possibly blind dates? Interesting. “And the rest of your party?” I asked.

  “They’ll be joining us soon,” the attractive one said, his voice deep and melodic.

  “Right this way, please.”

  As I led the way, I listened in on their conversation without a hint of shame.

  “I promise you won’t be annoyed with me once they get here,” the thin one said. “If Madi’s friend is anything like her, we’re going to have a fun night. And you, my friend, need to lighten up for once.”

  “I never said I was annoyed.”

  The first guy grinned as he chose a seat and sat down. “You didn’t have to say it. You’re the only man I know who has to be convinced to have dinner with a beautiful woman.”

  Oh, how I wanted to stay back and eavesdrop longer. Instead, I introduced them to their server and went back to the front. I couldn’t wait to see their dates at this point. I wondered if they’d be anything like the women at Damien’s party last night—perfect specimens of womanhood who emanated confidence.

  I had confidence too, but it was a completely different brand than theirs. Mine was hard won after years of subtle and not so subtle blows to my self-esteem. The only way to survive that is learning to value what matters about yourself.

  But I didn’t expect to own a room and every masculine eye in it like they did.

  Even if I wasn’t interested in dating, I wondered how it felt to know that you had that kind of power—to be able to stand in front of a man and revel in the way his gaze swept over you instead of inwardly shrinking into yourself.

  When I got back to my station, there was a small crowd of people waiting. It looked like the dinner rush was in full force. There was no more time to think, only act. Now, instead of being able to seat people immediately, I had to ask them to wait. Most people moved over to the dimly lit bar, but soon we’d have people standing against every wall and spilling outside. With the cold front, it was chilly enough that most people were wearing coats, which added one more element to the logistics of my evening. Luckily Patrick had called in a part-timer named Don to help specifically with that.

  And then they were there, the two women arriving for the date with the two guys from earlier. One was a stunner who looked extremely familiar. Where had I seen her before?

  But that was only a passing curiosity. It was the other woman who caught my attention.

  A curvy woman by any standards, she was totally rocking a black dress and heels. Her red hair gleamed like burnished copper in the candlelight, and her sultry makeup was on point. There were probably idiots in the world who would prefer her friend’s thinner frame, but every part of me envied this woman’s femininity.

  I practically burned with curiosity as I led them over to the table to meet their dates. Please let her be paired with the drop-dead gorgeous one. She was too perfect to waste on the other guy, whose personality irritated me.

  As we got there, I stepped back and watched how they would sort themselves out. The annoying guy’s eyes went straight to the thin one, no surprise there. But when the other guy laid eyes on Miss Luscious Curves, there was no denying the instant flame in his eyes.

  Yeah, man. You know she’s gorgeous.

  As I walked away regretfully—seriously, why couldn’t this be a movie or something so I could see the rest of the story—Julie, one of the servers, caught my arm.

  “Is that Madison Edwards, the news anchor from Channel 24?”

  I turned back to look. “Huh. That’s where I’ve seen her.”

  “She looks smaller in person. I guess the television really does add ten pounds.”

  I stood looking a second longer before turning away. “You’d think working in a restaurant would too, but so far, no luck!”

  The girl stopped and stared at me like I was an alien. “You sound like you want to gain weight.”

  Man, I must be more rattled than I realized. I knew better than to talk to people about my struggle to put on weight. It never got me anything but sarcasm and hate. Just because it wasn’t their particular struggle, they couldn’t understand that being shaped like a boy was hard.

  “What?” I asked, pretending that I hadn’t heard her. “It’s getting loud in here.” Then I pointed at the growing crowd at the front of house. “Gotta go.”

  The rest of the night, it was easier to scowl than smile. I was so mad at myself for slipping up. Mad for caring about such stupid things as figures and men and relationships.

  But still, every time I seated another group, I couldn’t draw my attention away from the table where the curvy woman sat. Except, all of a sudden, she wasn’t there. I looked toward the bathroom, wondering if that was where she’d gone, but when I finally found her, she was leaving—before she’d even had dinner.

  At least she was leaving with the nicer guy.

  As I sent Don to collect her coat, she
seemed to be watching me as much as I was trying not to watch her. It made me want to check a mirror. Something had to be wrong with me. I was usually completely invisible to guests after I’d served them.

  Then she moved over to my counter and picked up one of the silver pens we kept for guests. “Do you have a piece of paper?”

  Curious, but ready for anything, I pulled out the fancy notepad we kept under the counter and gave it to her. She wrote down a cellphone number and her name, but instead of handing it to the guy like I expected her to, she handed it to me.

  “If you’re ever looking for a nine-to-five job with benefits and weekends off, give me a call.”

  My eyes widened. That I had not been expecting.

  Without another word, she turned away and left with the guy, walking through the crowd and out the front door. I stared after her a moment before glancing at the paper in my hand. That was definitely a first. But as weird as it was, I tucked her number into my purse under the counter. I doubted I’d want whatever job she was offering—shoot, she could be running an escort service for all I knew. Though that was probably nonsense, since I wasn’t exactly the kind of woman they’d have a market for.

  But I was intrigued enough that I kept the paper anyway.

  Chapter Four

  Since I didn’t come home to another party after work on Friday night, I should have been able to get to sleep easily, but I didn’t. I kept having odd dreams with Damien and Jen, the Daddy’s Princess girl, in his hot tub with me. And then the red-headed curvy chick arrived, showing off her amazing cleavage. Then everyone was staring at me and I realized that my swim top was missing.