Veering off Course (The Navigation Quartet Book 1)

by Chris Cheek

  Cheryl drew their attention to the Church of England in general and the affairs of All Saints, Dewsbury Road in particular whilst Moira served pudding (‘dessert’ as Cheryl insisted on calling it). Myrtle attended All Saints, an evangelical establishment widely known throughout the area as being anti-permissive in general, and anti-gay in particular. The vicar was one Reverend Archibald Hillier. David had heard of him – in fact there could have been few people in Sedgethwaite who hadn’t. He was very charismatic, with a penchant for publicity; he was a regular blogger, and had acquired a regular spot on local radio as well as a column in the local paper.

  Cheryl was clearly very taken with the Rev Archie, as he was known. She had quickly become a member of his church and his ‘fan club’, a large group of women of a certain age who hovered about him, hanging on his every word and catering for his every material need.

  “And of course he’s against all these homosexuals infecting our society and preying on our young people.”

  “Oh, quite right, Mother,” said Mona. “They should be locked up.”

  David shifted uneasily in his seat and looked up, catching his father-in-law’s glance. He lifted his eyes heavenwards.

  “Now, you two, don’t be so nasty. People like that can’t help it,” Brian told his wife and daughter.

  “What do you know?” Cheryl virtually spat the words at her husband. “The Rev Archie says they choose to turn away from God and into the ways of sin,” she continued in her prim little voice, which was getting on David’s nerves even more than usual. “He says they’ll all go to hell in a handcart.”

  “‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone’,” quoted Mona’s father.

  “That’s my view as well,” said David. “We shouldn’t judge other people and their lives by who they sleep with.”

  “Oh well, really!” Cheryl interjected, wriggling with indignation. “Was there any need to bring bed into it?”

  “But you started it, Mother,” Mona pointed out. “Mentioning gay people.”

  “Such a stupid euphemism!” Cheryl replied. “Why can’t we simply call them perverts and have done with it?”

  David glared at his mother-in-law and rose from the table. “I’ll thank you not to use such language in our house, especially in front of the boys.”

  Cheryl tightened her mouth with irritation, once again prompting her lips to disappear almost completely.

  “And by the way,” David added, getting up from the table, “I’m going out for a drink with a very old friend of mine. Please excuse me, but he’s only here for a few days and I haven’t seen him for six years. I’ll bid you goodnight.” He left the room.

  The last sound he heard was his mother-in-law’s indignant voice exclaiming, “Well, really!”

  Chapter 6

  Alan

  Alan was already in the Boot and Shoe when David arrived shortly after nine. “Hi! What’ll you have?”

  David hesitated; he noticed a glass of what looked like wine at the table where Alan was sitting – but surely not, not in a Yorkshire pub!

  Alan followed David’s line of sight. “Oh, don’t worry about the white wine – it’s part of my keep-fit thing. It’s the only alcohol I’m allowed! Now, what’s it to be? A pint of best?”

  “Aye, go on then.”

  “I don’t think they’re used to men drinking wine here,” said Alan, returning to their table.

  David grinned. “Shouldn’t think it happens very often round here, any road – leastways except in the Dog in town,” he replied.

  “Why the Dog?”

  “Sedgethwaite’s gay pub.”

  “My, we have advanced in the last six years,” Alan joked. “A gay pub here? In Sedgethwaite? Wow. What’s it like?”

  “Er – I’m hardly in a position to know,” retorted David, looking at Alan with a slightly pained expression.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...”

  “Don’t be daft, lad,” replied David, joining in the laughter. “How’s Auntie Mary, then?”

  Alan sighed. “Not too good, I’m afraid. She hasn’t recovered consciousness, and they don’t think she will. It’s probably the best way. She was still a lively old stick, and being paralysed or unable to speak would drive her up the wall.”

  “Aye. A shame though. When I think... I used to be terrified of her when we were kids. Do you remember the first time you asked me back for tea?”

  “God! Yes. It must have been when we were at Leeds Road Juniors…”

  ***

  Any initial awkwardness was swept away quickly by a wave of reminiscence and a steady flow of alcohol. Thus it was that, by eleven o’clock, Alan had polished off a whole month’s allowance of dry white wine, whilst David owned up to drinking more beer in two hours than in the previous year.

  However, neither of them was uproariously drunk; indeed, Alan was surprised at how sober he felt. They left the pub slightly before time was called and walked towards the town centre.

  “Well, Davy, lad,” said Alan in a broad Yorkshire accent, “it’s been a reet good neet. I’ve had a smashing time.”

  “Me too – just like the old days.” He sighed. “Are you truly happy, then, down there?”

  Alan laughed. “Yes, old son, I am. I know you find it difficult to believe in life outside Sedgethwaite, but it does exist. I’ve got a good job, a great flat and a BMW. It’s a nice life. I’ve got no complaints.” He paused to think for a moment. “No. No complaints.”

  “I did wonder sometimes,” said David.

  “Yes, I bet you did. And what about you? Are you truly happy?”

  As had happened that morning in the cafe, David looked uncomfortable. When he spoke, he was clearly on the defensive. “The kids are great and Mona’s fine. She’s a good cook and a good housekeeper. I think I said we’re buying a house in the autumn, and they told me today I could be line for inspector next time round. No, I can’t complain.”

  They walked on in silence for a moment, before Alan spoke. “Answer the question, Davy.”

  “I have, haven’t I?”

  “Davy, even after six years I know you too well to let you get away with that. And please, whatever you do, don’t try to deceive yourself. That’s the dusty road to death. Now, I’ll ask you again. What about you? Are you truly happy?”

  “No. I’m bored, fed up, sick of the job, sick of being married and altogether fucking miserable. There, does that make you feel better?”

  “No, but at least it’s the truth.”

  “And perhaps you could kindly tell me what bloody good it does to say it out loud.”

  They had reached the entrance to Alan’s hotel. “I’ve got one of those little kettles in my room. Come up and have a cup of coffee.”

  “I ought to get home. Mona’ll be worried.”

  “Oh, come on. Ten minutes won’t make much difference.” Alan grinned suddenly. “Besides, if I’ve upset your peace of mind that much, the least I can do is try to restore it.”

  “All right. But no more than ten minutes, mind.”

  Alan noticed that David had obviously never been inside a large hotel before. His friend was looking round all the time, curious about the interior and fascinated by the mechanics of a key system based on a plastic card. Alan watched with amusement as David explored the tiny bathroom and the bedroom, eyes wide and muttering to himself.

  “Bloody clever design, these rooms.”

  “Yes, I suppose they are. I’d never thought about it before. Now, do you want coffee or another drink? There’ll be stuff in the minibar.”

  “Oh, just coffee, thanks. Otherwise I really will be pissed.”

  Alan busied himself with the small kettle and the sachets of coffee, milk and sugar. David took his jacket off, then slipped off his shoes and stretched himself out on the bed. He looked over at Alan and beamed at him. “This is the life, eh, lad?”

  Alan put the coffee cups down on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed next to David.
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  “I’m a bit drunker than I thought,” David giggled. “But not so drunk as to miss your tricks. You can’t have been telling the truth just now about being happy. You can’t be, ’cos you didn’t mention any one special like a partner or girlfriend. Nobody’s happy when they’re lonely.”

  “Actually, I think that’s highly debatable, but no matter. I didn’t mention that side of my life because I wasn’t sure how you’d react. How much do you remember about that last night before I went to London?”

  “Enough to know what you’re trying to say.” David sat up and swung his legs onto the floor, moving next to Alan, so that their legs were touching from hip to ankle bone. He paused and sipped his coffee. Then he looked Alan directly in the eye and spoke in a low voice. “To tell the truth, I remember every single detail of that night. Hardly a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you and what happened. There, is that what you wanted to know?”

  Alan watched, horrified, as David’s eyes filled with tears and he looked away. “Christ, Davy. I’m sorry.”

  “Whatever for?”

  Alan shrugged. “Everything really. Kissing you that night, running off to London and now coming back today. Each time I’ve knocked you off your perch and left you floundering in the dark, haven’t I?”

  David shook his head. “Not your fault. It’s my life I’m busy fucking up – oh and Mona’s, I suppose. Did you know?”

  “I didn’t – at least not until the moment I saw you this morning.” Gently, Alan reached out and lifted David’s chin. He kissed him.

  After a moment’s hesitation, David responded. The kiss was sweet and gentle. It was like coming home.

  Now I know what I’ve been missing for the last six years.

  Alan moaned into David’s mouth and moved to hold him in a full embrace. David responded, rolling on top of Alan, who immediately wrapped his legs round his friend’s waist.

  Suddenly David stopped. Alan opened his eyes, puzzled. He watched as the expression on David’s face went from passionate to terrified, as if a switch had been thrown. Eyes wide open, but with fear rather than curiosity this time, David quickly disentangled himself from the embrace and got up from the bed. Alan looked up at him, wondering what on earth had just happened.

  David stood for a moment, straightening his clothing, head downcast, unable to meet Alan’s eyes. Then he spoke. “Sorry, Al,” he said, quietly. “I can’t do this. Got to go.”

  He turned and left the room without looking back, shutting the door quietly.

  ***

  Alan remained where he was for a few moments, staring at the ceiling and tracing the course of a hairline crack in the plaster. A stray tear found its way from the corner of his eye and dropped on to the bedding, followed by another, then another.

  He roused himself quickly. When he’d arranged to see David tonight, he’d speculated idly about whether something like this would happen but had been determined that it wouldn’t. After all, there could be no future for any form of relationship between them even if they wanted one. Apart from family complications, they lived two hundred miles apart. And those two hundred miles might as well have been two million, because their lives had diverged six years earlier and the gap had grown ever wider.

  No, they had simply been impelled by nostalgia for a friendship long over. Alan had been feeling vulnerable tonight because of his aunt’s illness and the memories unlocked by returning to Sedgethwaite. In any case, he’d been feeling lonely after moving out of Tris’s place. That was his excuse for what had happened. And he could certainly not blame David for leaving now. It had been the right thing to do.

  His mind continued in this vein as he moved round the room, tidying the coffee cups and getting ready for bed. It was only when he lay down again that he remembered how David had felt in his arms for those few minutes. He closed his eyes and hugged the memory close. It had felt exactly the same as that night six years earlier: they fitted together perfectly.

  David was his soulmate; he had been since that day in the playground sixteen years earlier. The boy who had rubbed his shoulder to make him feel better held the missing pieces of Alan’s life. Alan only felt whole when he was in his old friend’s company.

  Another stray tear trickled down his face as he realised that he would have to reconcile himself to never feeling whole again.

  Chapter 7

  David

  David did not start to react to what had happened until he was halfway home. It was late, very late – after one, in fact – but the last bus had gone and he hadn’t got enough cash on him for a taxi, so he had no option but to walk.

  It was okay actually, because it was a clear night and maybe the exercise would do him good. He hoped it would help to clear his mind, which at the moment was a jumble of disconnected thoughts. A big part of him regretted bailing out on Alan. Holding and being held by his lifelong friend had felt right, as if he’d come home. Exactly as it had the last time, all those years ago,

  But he wasn’t a horny, confused teenager any more; he was a married man with two children, and he had responsibilities towards them. He had to focus on that fact. It was all very well for Alan; he was a single man with a life in London, where the gay stuff was much more normal. This was industrial West Yorkshire, for Christ’s sake. Real men didn’t screw each other – and he was a real man, wasn’t he? He’d spent the last six years proving it, after all.

  But somehow his own words did not ring true. David knew in his heart of hearts that, if he’d had the courage, he would have followed Alan to London six years earlier and been with him all this time. The pattern of his life would now be so different. Above all, he would have been spared the depressing process of rebuffing his wife’s amorous advances until he couldn’t avoid some form of response, and then straining every nerve to try to ensure that he completed the job. Compare that with the arousal he had felt with Alan tonight… Still, at least he now had another memory that he could use to fantasise when he had to.

  He sighed. What the hell was he going to do now? Maybe he didn’t need to worry. Alan would be gone in a couple of days, back to London. When his aunt died, he’d never have cause to come back here. And that would be that. David would be able to forget him.

  But even as that thought entered his mind, he knew it was untrue. Whatever happened, he would never forget Alan Foreshaw.

  ***

  David stayed in bed until after ten the next morning. That was not unusual on his rest day, especially after a week of early turns. He rarely slept long, though, what with Mona getting young Tommy off to school and little Kevin charging about the place. This morning was no exception, despite his late arrival home.

  All the guilt and fear that David had expected to feel the previous night was now pressing in on him. His reactions were exactly as he remembered them from that February morning six years earlier: belief that what had nearly happened was evil and unnatural; self-disgust that he had allowed things to go as far as they had, and fear that such behaviour would alienate him from his way of life and his family.

  And yet… Another voice within him spoke a different message: that last night could have been so much more; that the way he’d felt was more than a one-off aberration but was a manifestation of a part of his nature that he had tried to bury. A hurried marriage to Mona and the swift production of children had succeeded for a while, but they offered only a temporary refuge from his own nature. Having sex with Alan six years ago had been one of the best experiences of his life; last night could have been the same if he’d allowed it to be. Most frightening of all was the fact he wanted it to happen again – and soon.

  In fact, if Alan walked through that door now...

  His rising excitement was brought to an abrupt end by Mona’s voice. “Are you getting up this side of Christmas?”

  Oh dear. She did not sound happy.

  “Yes, love. Just coming.” He smirked at his own unintended pun. He got out of bed, and caught sight of himself in the wardrobe mirr
or. His voices resumed their conflict. One tried to make him feel ashamed of his body, telling him that it had been cruelly violated by Alan. The other answered that this was the body, the body that Alan had once said was beautiful and which had, with Alan, given David the only true sexual satisfaction he’d ever known.

  Again, Mona’s voice broke into his reverie. “If you’re having a bath, put the immersion on, will you?”

  “Right, love.”

  But what now? What the bloody hell am I going to do about it all?

  “David, are you up yet?”

  He glanced down at himself, and smirked at his reflection in the mirror. “And how!”

  ***

  “God, I thought you were going to be in that bath all day! What have you been doing?”

  “I wasn’t that long! Its only half-ten.”

  “But you’re holding me up. I suppose you want some breakfast now.”

  David ignored this and began a dialogue with himself. “Good morning, my love. I trust you slept well? Isn’t it a lovely day? Yes, isn’t it? I slept beautifully, thank you.”

  Mona smiled despite herself. “All right, I’m sorry. But coming in at nearly two in the morning, waking the whole street… I was worried to death. Wherever had you been?”

  “Talking. To Alan,” he replied.

  “Oh, sure. And I was born yesterday. Why don’t you tell me the truth? He took you to some club or other, didn’t he?”

  “No, he didn’t! We stayed in the Boot and Shoe till just before closing and then walked back to his hotel – he’s staying at the new one near the Market. Quite posh, you know. And we talked. I missed the last bus, so I had to walk home.”

  “David Edgeley, you’re the biggest liar on God’s earth! Whatever would you talk about until gone one in the morning?”