I say my goodbyes to Johnny and the twins before I head to the High School to say goodbye to Alex. The twins were reluctant to let me leave this morning but I reminded them I would be home soon.
I had to drop off a few of the school work I’ve been working on at the office so I told my mother I would stop by her classroom and say goodbye.
It’s a hot sunny day today so I choose a pair of denim shorts with my black Kings of Leon t-shirt, paired with my brown short boots. I let my hair hang loosely down my back with my Ray Bans on my head keeping the hair from falling in my face.
I step into the office and hand the old lady behind the counter my work and assignment that needed to be marked as I ask her where Alex’s classroom is. I leave the office and make my way down the empty hallway in search for my mother.
Following her instructions I come to an empty class room, as I’m about to turn to leave I’m stopped by a deep voice.
“Are you looking for Mrs. Blackwood?” I turn to see an older taller man… of course he’s good-looking just like every other male down here…must be a werewolf. I look at him confused, realizing I don’t even know my own mother and fathers last name.
What an idiot… I internally smack my forehead with my hand.
“Umm…I’m looking for Alex?” I say confused and he chuckles.
“Yes, that’s Mrs. Blackwood. She's taken her class to the bleachers since it’s a nice day outside today. I’ll show you were she is, follow me.”
As we make our way out of the school toward the field, he starts chatting to me. “You are definitely related to Alex, you are a spitting image of her.”
I laugh and look over to him, “Yip, we are related.” I don’t say anymore. I spot Alex by the field sitting with a group of students that look around my age. I walk faster making my way over to her before the stranger starts asking anymore questions.
A couple of guys whistle and I see some girls whispering behind their hands to their friends. Alex looks over to see what they’re all looking at and she spots me.
She gives me a big smile before she rushes up to me and gives me a hug.
“I can’t believe I didn’t even know my own mothers last name! I feel like such a tool!” I say through laughs and soon her laughs join mine.
“I’m so sorry, it never really came up.” She says still laughing at me and I notice the entire class is looking at us with confusion written all over their faces.
“Mother?” I hear one of the girls ask out loud.
Alex stops laughing and clears her throat before she speaks, “Yes class, I would like to introduce you all to my daughter Angel.”
I hear grasps and they seem shocked at the revelation.
“How come no one knew you had a child?” a guy from the bottom stand says with an attitude.
“That’s because I never lived with my mother.” I say as I glare at the guy, I don’t like the way he spoke to Alex.
He nods his head while another boy a few rows up from him says, “Please tell me you’re starting school here!”
The girl next to him nudges him and scowls at him. I laugh, “Nope, sorry.” I hear a few sighs and a couple of the girls let out deep breaths they’ve clearly been holding in.
“No way! You are Talon and Tyler’s girlfriend!” I hear another boy say.
“No… I’m not their girlfriend but I am taken….” I shake my head and turn my attention away from the nosy crowd.
My mother saves me from the current debrief that’s going on with the class and I, “You’re already leaving?”
“Yip, I will only be a few days though, I’m going to miss you.” I smile at her as I wrap my arms around her waist and give her a hug, she returns the hug and rubs my back.
“I’m going to miss you too, when we get back we will have a girls day okay? Just me and you.” Alex says excitedly.
“That’s sounds great! Love you…mom.” I walk away and wave goodbye to all the students. I smile to myself as I walk back to the car, Alex’s grin brightens every time I call her mom.
I take a slow drive because I know Drake has football practice today and he will only be done after five. Ronny finishes school at three so maybe I will get to spend some time with her before Drake comes over.
After arriving at the little trailer I used to share with Georgina. I take my bag out the car and head in. I still have my spare key on me so I open the house expecting to see the mess that was here the last time I was in here.
Instead the house is absolutely spotless. I walk to my room and notice my rooms also clean just the way I left it except on my bed lies a yellow envelope. I place my bag on the chair seated near my door and sit on my bed as I look at the envelope that has “Alexia” written on it, I know whose handwriting it is.
I open the envelope and read ….
Dear Lexi
I wrote this note to you because I knew you would prefer if you never saw me again and I fully understand. My baby girl, words cannot explain how sorry I am for the last few years that you’ve had to put up with me and my issues. I never told you this before but I think after everything that’s happened between us, you need to know about the time I first met you.
I was eighteen the first time I met James, my mate. I met him at a grocery store, he was trying to find formula for you and he wasn’t sure which one was best, of course I instantly knew we were mates. I was afraid because I immediately knew he was half human and I was expecting my mate to be full-blooded but despite that fact I knew I loved him from the moment I met him. I knew the hardships that came with having a human as a mate and I was fully prepared for it all including the fact that I wouldn’t ever be able to have children with him because he was a turned wolf.
He had you bundled up to his chest and you were crying, he asked me to hold you while he packed the cart. You immediately stopped crying when I pulled you from him and the first time I saw your beautiful big eyes I instantly fell in love with you too. James may not have been your biological father but he loved you as he would if you were his daughter. From that day forward I never wanted to let you go, you were our little girl.
Please forgive me for the horrible things I’ve said, I never meant one word, drugs and alcohol make you do and say terrible things. I wasn’t well and I was taking whatever I could to stop the pain I got when I thought of him. I pray that you never go through the pain of losing your soul mate Lexi.
I miss him so much and I know you did too but you didn’t want to show it because you were trying to be strong for me. I should have been there for you Lexi. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I destroyed you. I will never forgive myself for the way I’ve treated you.
I love you my baby and you will always be my daughter even though I haven’t been the mother you deserved these last couple of years. I know you probably don’t ever wish to see me again but I am going to get healthy and sober again, I never want to hurt someone the way I’ve hurt you. I’ve caused you to hate me but it’s okay, I deserve that and I love you enough for the both of us. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all the hurt I have caused you.
I love you my little Lexi.
Mom xxx
My hands are trembling by the time I read the last sentence, I can see the tear drops that have fallen on the page on my lap and some of the ink in the words have smudged. I didn’t hear Ronny come in but I turn when I see something to my left and I find her leaning against the door staring at me with a sad look. I wipe away the tears and smile at her.
She comes running to me and hops onto the bed as she pulls me into an embrace.
“Aw Lex, I’m sorry, don’t be sad….everything is going to be okay.” She rubs my back and whispers words to comfort me. I look up to her and smile.
“Ron…I’m not crying because I’m sad, I’m happy….she loves me Ron. I thought she hated me…but she still loves me.” I say as I wipe away a few more new tears.
“Lexi is that what you thought? You thought she hated you
? Of course she still loves you!” Ronny says in shock.
“Thanks, love you too you know and I missed you also.” I tell her and she smiles at me.
“Love you too babe and I'm so glad you’re back. I think Chloe was getting annoyed with me hovering over her 24/7.” Ron laughs.
We head to the kitchen where Ronny left the pizza she bought us on the counter. We grab the box and head to the lounge and watch some TV catching up on the last few days.
“Can I ask you a question Lex?” Ronny asks and I already know what’s on her mind. Shit…
I put my plate on the table and sit on the couch cross legged as I turn to face her.
“What happened with you and Jax?” she asks looking worried.
“Honestly Ron, I really don’t know. I knew we were a lot closer than friends but we obviously never acted on it because of Drake, one night I let slip that Drake and I were…um…intimate.” I know I'm blushing at this point but I continue.
“He didn’t take it very well, and I knew I was in the wrong though so I accepted the way he handled it but it just went too far.” I swallow down the hurt I feel when I retell my story of that night.
“We hadn’t spoken to each other for a few days and I tried to keep my distance from Drake because I felt so guilty. I was battling to sleep and I was so unhappy because I missed Jax so much. Early that morning before I left I went to the kitchen to get something to drink, I walked into some girl that was leaving Jax’s room…wearing his clothes. I knew he slept with her and it broke my heart, I knew why I was feeling that way, it because I thought I loved him more than a friend Ron.” I tell her sadly.
“I knew you loved each other, I could see it, you guys just need to talk to each other and let out all these feelings that you keep hidden. I AM going to kill him though for screwing that hoe! That wasn’t cool at all.” she says getting angry.
“No Ron, he doesn’t love me like that. He was so quick to sleep with someone while I wasn’t even able to kiss Drake without feeling guilty. I told him how much I loved him, how he hurt me and broke me and he just stood there. He just stood there Ron! He didn’t say anything! I knew from that moment that I needed to end whatever was left of Jax and I.I had so much to think about , I was so conflicted. My head was telling me that I needed to stop being this shit slutty girlfriend and focus on being the girl Drake deserves. I have a lot to discuss with Drake, so much has gone on these past few weeks and I just need to get it all out in the open with him so I can figure out what we both need. These few days I’ve been away I’ve had so much to think about , especially about what I really feel for Drake and Jax, I don’t even know if its love anymore but I needed to see Drake face to face to discuss this with him so I can figure this all out. I don’t want to talk about Jax Ron and I know you want to make us all one big happy family again but…I can’t be around him. I just can’t Ron.” I say as I place all those memories of Jax back into that little black box to remain hidden for as long as humanly possible.
“I understand Lex, he just went too far this time, I get it. You’re not a slut, you are surrounded by gorgeous guys, of course you’re going crush on a few. You’re young and haven’t really experienced as much as the rest of us so now that you are doing things you usually wouldn’t do, you’re belittling yourself. You aren’t like that whore Chelsea, you’re so much better than that! You are allowed to have a little fun Lex and maybe along the way you will meet the right guy…if you haven’t already. Jax is going to regret fucking this up with you, because he missed out on someone great! I have your back girl, guess that means more time with me if you’re not going to be spending all your extra time with Jax now.” She teases.
“Sorry Ron, you still gotta fight Drake for my time while I'm here.” I giggle.
I hear footsteps coming up the stairs to the front porch outside. Drake appears in the door way and I run up to him and jump into his outstretched arms.
“Lex! Ah I missed you so much babe!” he says as he swings me around in his arms, I hear his deep inhale as he breaths in my scent.
“Missed you too.” I speak into his chest.
“I'm going to go and let you two catch up, don't forget our dinner tomorrow night and you both are coming – no excuses or I’ll carry you there myself.” Ronny says as she walks past me.
Drake drops his bag off in my room and then heads back into the kitchen as I'm cleaning the dishes. Its dark outside now but the evening is still pretty hot. Drake comes behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, I turn to look into his eyes and he gives me a soft kiss. I’m so nervous about talking to him and I guess deep down I’m a little afraid of what he might do or say. He promised never to hurt me again and I believe him but there’s a little part of me that doesn’t trust him to keep his wolf from taking over.
He lifts me up and sits me on the table and slides his large hard body between my legs. His hands are on the underside of my knees as his lips kiss down my neck before meeting my lips.
He’s pushing harder and harder against me and I can feel he wants to do more but I can’t continue this without telling him about the kiss I shared with the twins and the feelings involved. I don’t feel the intense need and sparks with Drake as I do when I’m with the twins, its just not there anymore. Maybe Talon was right after all. I pull away from him breathing hard and I rest my head on his shoulder.
“I’m going to shower, I’ll be quick I promise.” I say as I give him another quick peck and make my way to the bathroom.
After I finish showering and getting dressed, I make my way to my room to find Drake sitting on my bed with my phone in his hands. Even though I always delete any messages I get from Alex, Johnny or the twins I also have a lock code on my phone in case I let a message slip by undeleted.
I’m not sure why he’s holding my phone in his hands, and he doesn’t seem fazed that I caught him with it. “Why do you have a lock code on your phone?” he asks me.
“Because I do? Why do you have my phone?” I ask him snatching it from his tight grip and putting it on charge on the other side of the bed.
“Because I do?” he echoes in a cocky tone.
I figured this is the best time to spill the beans so I stand in front of him and say. “We need to talk Drake.”
“What?” he says flatly.
“We need to talk about us and what’s happening with us. I know I love you there’s no denying it but I’m not sure we should…I mean…argh.” I stumble with my words.
“Spit it out!” Drake roars.
“My head is so messed up…I’m so conflicted and I don’t know what the fuck I’m feeling anymore. You know I care about you but I also-”
“Is this about Jax? You love him too? I saw how you two were those days before you left, I’m not stupid Alexia.” Drake spits out.
“No…I mean yes, it is about him too. I do care for him and I think I do care for him more than you would a friend but that’s just it. If I was so in love with you then how can I fall for someone else when I have you?” I push my hair out of my face as I pace the room.
“You do love me Lexi, you do! I don’t care what feelings you have for Jax, you’re mine! I know you love me, I love you and you know that too!” he shouts as he stands up from the bed. I turn and watch as his chest rises and falls with his deep breaths.
“No I don’t think that’s it. Of course I love you and care for you but I’m not sure I’m in love with you. If I was in love with you then I wouldn’t of kissed-” I love up to Drake just in time for him to gasp and his eyes to widen, I cover my mouth. “Shit”
“You what?” he says in a softer voice, it’s terrifying and sounds deadly.
“Okay.” I take a deep breath and turn to face him. “I-kissed-two-guys-while-I-was-away.” I quickly blurt out when I notice his jaw clenching and his eyes darken
“That’s why I don’t think what we have is love. That’s why I wanted to talk to you , I care about you and I know I’ve hurt you and I never want to do that again. I do
n’t think we should be togeth-” I say as I back away from his terrifying glare.
“What!” he interrupts bitterly as he stands and stalks towards me. I keep backing away towards my window, I’m too scared to run past him as he continues to yell at me harshly.
“You fucking kissed TWO guys! What! Wasn’t one enough?” he bellows as his face reddens.
“I’m so-” I say as his fist connects my jaw and my head whips around, I lose my balance as I try to comprehend what he just did.
Drake just hit me… I stumble and lean on the window sill, I can’t even bear to look at him but he continues to shout at me as I try to make my escape passed him.
His forearm grabs me around my waist and he brings me roughly again his chest as he continues to bark in my ear. His other hand grabs my hair and turns me so I’m looking up to his terrifying eyes.
“You think you can get away from me that easily?! You want me to walk away from you! You want it to be easy but I’m not letting you go, YOU ARE MINE, how many fucking times do I have to tell you! I’ve spent too much time on you and it’s not going to be wasted!” I continue to roughly push at his chest to get him away from me but he grabs my wrist tightly and with his other hand slaps me again.
I fall to the floor holding the cheek he just hit, shock and adrenaline running through my body.
“Drake stop! Please, just stop. Don’t do this! I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you.”
He kicks me in my ribs hard knocking the air out, I roll over to my other side gasping for air. I know he’s not using his full force but he’s still kicking me nonetheless. He bends down and grabs my throught, I use this as an opportunity to knee him in the stomach, he lets out a gasp and it gives me a gap. My ribs hurt with every movement but I managed to drag my body along the floor to get away from him. The tears continue to fall down my face as I think of how I thought that I loved this monster. He grabs my anckle and pulls me to him as he lands on top of me. I cry out in paid as his body collects with my ribs. He leans down to me and I have no option to look at his black menacing eyes that seem to be full of disgust.
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