It Was Always You (Love Chronicles Book 1)

by Ashelyn Drake

  “‘Special,’ huh? As in an ‘only my mom could love me’ sort of way?” I elbow his ribs as we walk out to his truck.

  “Please. Everyone loves you and you know it.” He starts for the passenger door again, but then stops and drops his arm from my shoulders. “Want me to take those?” He gestures to the sandwiches.

  “How do you plan to drive while holding them?” I raise a questioning brow and open the passenger door. He watches me get in before doing the same.

  About halfway back to the office, I remember he had something to tell me. “Hey, what were you going to confess? You never said.”

  He shakes his head, his eyes firmly fixed on the road. “Oh, don’t worry about it. Not important.”

  “It didn’t seem that way before. You were acting strange. You still are, to be honest.” Since he won’t look at me, I touch his arm. “Tell me.”

  He sighs and pulls into the parking garage. His former spot is now occupied, but he finds another near the elevator. After cutting the engine, he shifts to face me. “Remember how I was late getting to your place last night?”

  I nod. “Your hot water heater was acting up.”

  “No. It wasn’t.”

  I furrow my brow. He never lies to me, so why would he tell me that if it wasn’t true? “What do you mean?”

  “I went back up to the office when I left you.”

  “Right. To get your keys.”

  He lowers his head. “Not exactly. I had them the whole time.”

  Another lie? Why?

  “I went to talk to Oliver.”

  “You did what?” I squeeze the sandwiches in my fists. “Why would you—?”

  He holds his hands up to stop me. “I didn’t. I...”

  “Talk faster, Nate.” Vinegar and oil seep through the slices my nails are making in the white paper wrapping our subs.

  “I saw Mr. Monohan instead. I tried to talk him out of giving Oliver the job.”

  “Why would you do that behind my back? Do you realize how that must have looked? Like I needed a man to step in and get me a promotion!” I put the sandwiches on the middle console and stare at my oily hands.

  Nate grabs a napkin from the compartment on the driver’s side door and starts wiping my hands, but I pull them away.

  “Why are you treating me like a child? First with the job and now cleaning my hands?” I scoff and open the door, not caring that I’m getting oil on the handle. I use my hip to slam the door shut once I’m out, and I start for the elevator.

  “Aria!” Nate calls after me. I don’t look back, but I hear his shoes clicking on the pavement. “I just wanted to help.”

  “Yeah, well, you didn’t. I didn’t get the position, and I’m most likely getting fired.” I bypass the elevator and head for the stairs, needing to burn off some steam.

  Nate’s footsteps quicken, which makes me pick up the pace as well.

  “Leave me alone, Nate,” I yell, flinging open the stairwell door. “I don’t want to see you right now.” I can’t bear to look at the one person who was never supposed to hurt me.

  Chapter Six

  Nate

  Damn it! Why did I tell her? No. Why did I lie to her in the first place? She’s right. She doesn’t need me interfering in her life. She thinks I made her look bad in front of Monohan, but really, I only made myself look bad. He knows I’m in love with her. That I was acting like the crazy guy who would do anything to win her heart. I’m pathetic.

  I push the door open and start up the stairs, taking them two at a time and catching up to Aria in seconds. I wrap my arm around her waist. She squirms against me and hits my forearms, no doubt leaving oil stains on my sleeves.

  “Let me go!” she yells.

  I spin her around to face me. Her chest is heaving with fury, and she looks like she wants to punch me in the face. Or somewhere a few feet south of there. “I’m sorry. I know it was stupid, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to help.”

  “Help? How does making me look like I need a man to fight my battles help? I’ve never been the damsel in distress, Nate, yet you made me look like one.”

  I hold her tight, not wanting to let her go for fear I’ll lose her forever. She’s never been this angry with me.

  “You don’t have to worry about that. He knows you had no idea I was there. The only person I embarrassed that night was myself.”

  “How did you embarrass yourself?” She narrows her eyes and continues to squirm in my arms. “Nate, seriously, let go of me.”

  “Promise you’ll stay and hear me out then.” I loosen my arms but don’t release her.

  “Fine.” She pushes me away and sits down on the top stair of the first landing. She rubs her hands together, which only makes them shine more from the oil.

  I reach in my pocket for a clean tissue. “Here.” I hold it out to her, and she takes it without looking at me. I sit down next to her on the step, careful to keep space between us. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to make things worse for you. I wanted to help and didn’t know how. And I hate how that asshole gets whatever he wants.”

  “You and me both.” She furiously wipes her hands with the tissue. “That doesn’t excuse you, though. You know me better than anyone. You’re the last person who should be going behind my back like that, and then to lie to my face about it...” She scoffs.

  “I know. I feel awful, believe me.” I turn to face her. “Tell me what to do to make it up to you.”

  “Is this all because of her?”

  I tilt my head. “Who?”

  “The girl. That’s how you can make this up to me. You can tell me who she is.”

  I lower my head and lace my fingers in front of me. “No, I can’t.”

  “Do you not trust me or something?”

  “It’s not that. You know I trust you more than anyone.”

  She stands up. “Then what is it, Nate? Because I feel like it’s driving a wedge between us. I can’t remember the last time we fought about anything. Now you’re keeping secrets and lying to me. What did I do to deserve this?”

  I jump to my feet and resist the urge to take her hands in mine. “Nothing. You didn’t do anything.”

  “Then tell me who she is.” Her face is a combination of anger and hurt. Part of me wants to grab her and crush my lips to hers. Show her she’s the girl. But I’d be risking everything. She’s not ready for this. For us. I can tell. And I’m not ready to lose her.

  “She’s gone, Aria.”

  “Gone how? Did she move?”

  God, I can’t keep lying to her, but what other option do I have? There has to be a way around this. “Look...” I reach for her hand, which makes her eyes lower and then rise again in question. “We’re best friends, right?”

  “I thought we were, but now I’m not so sure.”

  “I need you to trust me. I’ll tell you who she is. I promise. But not now. I need time.”

  “How much time?”

  I step closer but then catch myself. “I don’t know yet. Please, Aria. I promise I won’t lie to you ever again, but you have to let this go for now.”

  “You expect me to just let you be miserable?” This time, she’s the one closing the gap between us, standing and meeting me on the same step. It nearly undoes me to be so close to her.

  I take a deep breath and close my eyes to avoid staring at her full lips. When I open them again, she’s staring into my eyes. “I’m not miserable when I’m with you. That’s what I need right now. Time with my best friend.”

  She inhales a shaky breath. “I think we both do. All this crap with Aaron and now Oliver... I need time away.”

  “Want to go somewhere for a long weekend?” What am I saying? I can’t go away with her. Alone. I’d never keep my feelings for her to myself.

  “No. I can’t blow off work. I refuse to give Oliver that satisfaction.”

  I breathe a little easier. “Okay, let’s focus on getting through the rest of the day. Tonight, it’s just you and me and a
movie marathon.”

  “And Corona Light,” she adds. “With lime.”

  “Of course.” I smile, hoping she’ll do the same. When she does, it makes me come undone. “Go on up to the office. I’ll go back to the truck for our sandwiches.” I motion over my shoulder with my thumb.

  She holds her hands up. “I need to wash this off first.” Her eyes lower to my sleeve. “Sorry about your shirt.”

  “No sweat. I’ll fold it up until I get home.” I unbutton the wrist and fold the sleeve up. “See. No big deal.”

  “You promise you’ll tell me about her eventually?” she asks. “She must be pretty special if she’s got you this worked up.”

  “You have no idea.” I turn and start down the stairs to the truck. How I’m lasting this long is unfathomable. Aria is the only one I want, and I’m going to burst if I don’t act on these feelings. If I called up my college buddies, they’d tell me to go out and get laid already. I can’t even think of anyone but Aria, though. I haven’t for weeks. Who knew she’d pick up on that?

  I grab the sandwiches and head up to the office, where I find Aria’s desk empty. She should have finished washing her hands by now. I walk around the office, checking conference rooms and the lunchroom. No sign of her.

  “Dixon, did you get that ad I sent back to you?” Omar, the sports editor, says as I walk by his desk.

  “Just got back from lunch. Haven’t checked my email yet.” I continue to scan the office for any sign of Aria.

  “It needs to be tweaked further. I was hoping you could work your magic on it,” he says.

  “Yeah, sure. No problem. Hey, have you seen Aria? I have her lunch.” I hold up the wrapped sandwiches in my hand.

  “I heard Oliver tell her to go meet with that artist who’s painting the mural on the stone wall that runs along Fifth Street down by the train tracks.”

  “She’s out on assignment?” At least Oliver assigned her a story.

  “I’d put that sandwich in the fridge. Unless she doesn’t know you have it, in which case you should hand it over to me. I skipped lunch today.” Omar rubs his stomach.

  “Here.” I hand him my sandwich.

  “Oh yeah. Thanks, man.” He digs in immediately, and I head for the lunchroom to deposit Aria’s sandwich in the fridge. Apparently, all the staff writers are out on assignments or out getting lunch because the room is empty. The only sound is the soft hum of the ancient refrigerator.

  I pull my cell out of my back pocket and dial her.

  “Hey,” she answers. “Oliver was waiting for me.”

  “I heard. This is good, though, right? You got a story.”

  “Yeah, I guess. I just miss my red pen, you know?”

  “You’ll be an editor again, Aria. I know it.”

  “At least you believe in me. See you tonight.” She hangs up, leaving me to finish my workday on my own.

  I’m out the door as soon as five o’clock rolls around. All the ads are in place for the next three days. Time to shower, pick up dinner, and head to Aria’s. I’m on autopilot as I get ready. After her last conversation with Aaron, I feel like she’s finally ready to move on. But my blunder with Monohan set me back. I need to be her best friend—nothing more—until she’s over that, too.

  I knock on Aria’s door before I realize how unlike me that is. I always walk right in. I turn the knob, but before I can push the door, it opens.

  Aria cocks her head at me. “I thought you were someone else. What’s with the formalities?”

  “Lost in thought.”

  Her face softens, and she must think I was dreaming of my fake mystery girl, so I add, “Trying to decide between action or comedy.” I hold up the two movies I brought.

  “Always comedy,” she says, taking them from me.

  I shut the door behind me. “I ordered Mexican.”

  “Great. It’s been ages since I had an enchilada.” She moves toward the DVD player and puts in Weekend at Bernie’s, an old movie we both love and have seen about a hundred times. “Ooh, look. The Breakfast Club is coming on.”

  “Put it on,” I say, knowing it’s her favorite movie.

  “You sure?” she asks, but she’s already getting comfy on the couch.

  I laugh at how adorable she is and bring the food to the coffee table. She has two Corona Lights opened with limes sticking out of them. She pushes her lime into the bottle, sticks her thumb into the mouth of the bottle, and turns it upside down. After a few seconds, she rights the bottle, removes her thumb, and sucks on it.

  “You okay?” she asks.

  I blink, realizing I was staring at her thumb in her mouth. “Yeah, I never could figure out how to do that trick to mix the lime without spilling it all over myself.”

  “I remember. The first time you tried, you spent the next thirty minutes with your pants under the hand dryer in the ladies’ room.”

  “The men’s room didn’t have a dryer,” I say, even though she’s well aware of that fact.

  “Doesn’t make it any less amusing.” She laughs, which is the best sound in the world. I pass her my bottle. “Please?”

  She takes it and goes through the process again. I dig my fingers into my thighs when she sucks on her thumb. Dear God!

  “What? You asked me to do it, and then you stare at me like I’m a freak of nature.” She smacks my shoulder.

  If only she knew...

  The movie starts as we dig into our food. I have to keep adjusting myself without her noticing because everything she does is driving me crazy. First, she takes off her socks, revealing the cutest feet known to man. Her slender toes with nails all painted pink. Then she pulls her hair back, which shows off her bare shoulders since her ’80s style top has those sleeves that rest just off the shoulder. No bra again.

  “Food not agreeing with you?” she asks during a commercial break. “You look like you’re in pain.”

  I’m in pain all right. Maybe I do need a random hookup.

  She pulls her legs up onto the couch and wiggles her toes.

  “Here,” I say, knowing she has pins and needles. I reach for her foot and start massaging.

  “You are ten times better than a boyfriend,” she says, lying back and resting her head against the arm of the couch.

  If she thinks this feels good, she should see what else I could do to her. She closes her eyes and moans, which makes my pants suddenly feel a lot tighter in one particular area. I can’t take much more of this. She reaches for her beer but misses since she’s groping with her eyes closed. While still massaging her foot with one hand, I grab the bottle and give it to her.

  “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She raises one arm over her head, which brings the hem of her shirt up, exposing her stomach.

  I run my tongue across my teeth, a poor substitute for the taut skin it’s dying to taste.

  “Aaron would never give me massages. He was a selfish prick.”

  And there go any thoughts of taking things further with Aria tonight. Ruined with one word. One name.

  Chapter Seven

  Aria

  The hardest part about having a male best friend is this right here. Nate’s perfect in every way but one. He makes me feel things, and then that’s it. Nothing happens. His fingers are magical. I’m not sure if foot rubs are supposed to be turn-ons, but dear God, is this one driving me crazy! Not that Nate looks at me that way. He probably has no idea of the effect he’s having on me. He’s so caught up in that girl. I wish I knew who she was. More so, I wish I could get her out of the picture. Maybe then, Nate would feel something different for me.

  Maybe it’s the four Corona Lights I’ve had while we watch The Breakfast Club, but I’m suddenly dying to find out what Nate tastes like. I’ve always wondered. The fact that he’s gorgeous isn’t lost on me. He’s just always been my best friend. I don’t want to jeopardize that because I’m drunk and turned on at the moment. I have to clear my head and stop thinking this way.

  Right?

 
But then Claire and Bender kiss at the end of the movie. If an unlikely pair like those two can wind up together, why not Nate and me? I turn to see him watching me instead of the movie. “What?” I ask, sitting up more. “Do I have food on my face?” More likely lime from the Corona.

  “No. I thought you were sleeping.”

  I laugh. “I might have dozed off for a bit. Your foot massages have that effect on me.” Why am I lying to him? His massages do the opposite of calming me down. I got on his case for lying, and now I’m doing the same thing.

  “If you’d like, I could give it another go until you fall asleep.” He holds his hands out, waiting for me to place my feet in his lap.

  “No, it’s okay. Let’s talk instead.”

  “Okay.” His disappointment is evident on his face and in his voice.

  “On second thought...” I put my feet in his lap, and he smiles, getting right to work. I lean my head back again, and the buzz I have going takes over, giving me a crazy idea. I reach both arms behind my head, knowing my shirt will lift. Nate’s eyes go to my bare stomach, and I have to suppress a smile. He reaches for his Corona, which is half full, and downs the rest of it. Hmm...maybe he doesn’t just see me as a friend. Or it could be the effects of the six beers he’s had.

  I throw caution to the wind and reach my hand down toward his. It takes him a minute to realize what I’m doing, but then he laces his fingers through mine. My heart pounds because I’m not usually this bold and know I wouldn’t be if not for the Corona reigning over my judgment at the moment. I tug his hand.

  Nate’s eyes widen. “Do you want me to stop?”

  “Come here.”

  “Where? There’s no room next to you.”

  We’ve cuddled before. Of course that’s what he thinks I’m asking for. I tug his hand again. He moves awkwardly, trying to make room between me and the back of the couch. I reach for his waist and tug his belt loop, indicating I want him on top of me.

  “Aria, you’re drunk,” he says, not giving in.