It Was Always You (Love Chronicles Book 1)

by Ashelyn Drake

  She nods back and delivers a check to another table.

  “Think I’ll be getting our refills?” I ask.

  “You might be.” She returns my smile and digs into her waffle. She licks her lips, but there’s still a little whipped cream in the corner of her mouth. I tighten my jaw and go back to cutting my steak. Five minutes later we still haven’t gotten our coffee refills. I start to stand, but Aria stops me.

  “I’m too full to drink any more. Let’s get the check and go.”

  I nod and look for our waitress. Instead, I see Aaron walking over to us. He can’t seriously be coming over here to talk to Aria. How many times does she have to turn him down before he takes the hint? If he doesn’t catch on soon, my fist is going to make an impression on his face.

  “Aria, good to see you.” He doesn’t even look at me.

  “Seriously, Aaron? I don’t want to talk to you or see you.”

  “That’s a shame because I talked to your mother the other day. She’s very upset we’re not still together.”

  “You called my mother?” Aria shrieks, drawing attention to our table.

  “She’s worried about you. Concerned you’re making bad decisions. You know, like getting drunk in public.”

  “Okay, stop.” I stand up and press my hand against Aaron’s chest, pushing him back.

  “Who the hell do you think you are?”

  Without thinking, I say, “Her boyfriend.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Aria

  I shake my head, convinced I didn’t hear Nate correctly.

  “Boyfriend?” Aaron repeats, confirming I don’t need to get my hearing checked. “Since when?”

  “Since the other day, not that it’s any of your business. Now, I’d appreciate it if you left my girlfriend alone.”

  Aaron looks to me. “Is this true? Are you really seeing this guy?” His jaw tenses.

  I don’t know what’s going on, but I know Aaron won’t give up unless he thinks there’s nothing left to fight for, so I say, “Yeah. It’s true. Now please leave, and stop calling my family.”

  Aaron glares at Nate and then walks away. Nate sits down, not saying a word, and I wait for an explanation.

  “Will you be having any dessert, or should I leave you the check?” the waitress asks. Then her eyes go to our empty coffee mugs. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I forgot your refills, didn’t I?”

  “It’s fine,” Nate says. “We’ll take the check.”

  She slides it onto the table and clears our plates, apologizing again.

  I reach for my purse, but Nate puts a hand up to stop me.

  “Just in case Aaron is lurking outside the windows, you better let me pay so this looks like a real date.” He counts out the money for the bill and the tip, placing both on the table. Then he stands and holds his arm out for me to take. We’ve walked arm in arm plenty of times, but I’m so confused about our relationship right now that it feels awkward.

  He brings me to his truck and opens the door for me. Inside the truck, I watch Nate walk around and get in on his side. As much as I want to ask him why he told Aaron we’re dating, I’m afraid to. As stupid as it is, I want to pretend it’s real. Even if only for tonight. That he meant what he said. That he wants a relationship with me, and not just as my best friend.

  He pulls up to the door of my apartment complex and finally turns to face me. “See you at work.”

  “Yeah,” I say, opening the door. I don’t even care that the rain has picked up and is soaking my hair. I don’t run inside to take cover. I walk slowly without looking back at Nate. I hear his tires on the wet pavement like a soundtrack to the movie playing in my head. The one where the girl lets the perfect guy drive away into the night because she can’t bear to tell him how she feels. It’s an awful movie.

  I trudge up the stairs, not because the wait for the elevator is long, but because Nate and I took the stairs. I can almost smell his shower gel when I enter my apartment, though I’m sure it’s all in my head. It’s early, but I get out of my wet clothes and put on pajamas. I want to crawl into bed. I just wish Nate was in the bed with me.

  My cell rings on the nightstand as soon as my head hits the pillow, and I jump up, thinking it’s Nate and he wants to talk about what happened. Instead, Ashley’s name appears on the screen.

  “What’s wrong with me?” I ask her without saying hello.

  “Oh, honey, how much time do you have?”

  “Ha-ha.”

  “What’s wrong? Why are you in a mood?”

  I lie back on the pillow and stare at the ceiling. “I went to dinner with Nate tonight.”

  “That’s a regular occurrence. Not seeing the problem.”

  “He was supposed to pick me up at six thirty, so I purposely took a long time in the shower, hoping the sight of me in a towel would... I don’t even know.”

  “Make him horny as hell?”

  “That’s awful, right? I mean, he went on a date last night and here I am trying to tempt him back into my bed.”

  “My little sister the whore.”

  “Good night, Ash.” I pull the phone away from my ear and hear her yell, “Sorry.” I roll my eyes and bring the phone to my ear again. “I’m serious. I don’t know what to do about this.”

  “Did he tell you about his date?” she asks.

  “No. He won’t tell me anything about this girl. But I swear, tonight when Aaron came to our table at the diner—”

  “Aaron was there? What, is he stalking you now?”

  “He called Mom.”

  “Holy shit! That’s scary psycho, Aria.”

  “I know. What sane person would think calling his ex’s mother would convince her to take him back? It’s sick.” I pull my sheet up to my chin the way I did when I was a little girl and wanted to protect myself from the monster under my bed. Only Aaron isn’t fictitious. “Nate told Aaron we were dating now.”

  “You mean to get Aaron to back off?”

  I shrug, even though she can’t see me. “I guess. What other reason could there be?”

  “Wouldn’t it be ironic if Nate was secretly wishing he was your boyfriend while you’re there secretly wanting him to be?”

  I wouldn’t call that ironic. I’d call it...torturous. Though it would mean my feelings aren’t one-sided.

  “What did he say to you after Aaron left?”

  “Not much. We didn’t talk at all on the drive back to my place.”

  “Did you two sleep together again?” Her voice lowers, making me wonder if Neil walked into the room.

  “You think we didn’t talk, but we still jumped into bed together?”

  “No, you’re right. That’s something I’d do, not you.”

  “What would you do?” Neil’s mumbled voice filters through the phone.

  “Nothing, babe. Girl talk.” She laughs. “He’s gone now.”

  “You changed a lot right before you met him. Have you ever told him about your wilder days?”

  “Wilder days!” She laughs again. “I like that. And no. He doesn’t need to know. Besides, that’s not who I am anymore.”

  No matter how old Ashley was, she always knew who she was. And over the years, she redefined herself. She grew up, matured, and fell in love.

  “I’m happy for you, Ash. Really happy.”

  “Good because you’re stuck with me. Mom pretty much told me wherever you go, I have to go with you. Now that she’s not around to check up on you, it’s my job.”

  I laugh. “In that case, I think I’ll move to Alaska.” Ashley hates cold weather.

  “You do, and I’m officially disowning you as my sister.”

  “Well, lucky for us, I have no plans to go anywhere.”

  “You don’t think you’ll ever move? Not even when you get married?”

  “I’m not even twenty-six yet. Marriage is the last thing on my mind right now.”

  “Speaking of, where do you want to have your birthday party?”

  I groan into the pho
ne. “No party. I’ve gotten drunk too much lately, and whenever I party with you, you make sure I have a drink in each hand.”

  “Only way to party. I’m planning it. I’ll call Nate to make sure I get the guest list correct.”

  “You’re going to plan my party with Nate?” I don’t know why the idea bothers me. Maybe it’s because the three of us have always planned my birthdays together.

  “We’re the two closest people to you. It only makes sense. And given what’s going on between you and Nate, I can’t see the two of you planning this together.”

  She has a point, but parties mean dates. “What if Nate brings his mystery girl?” Nothing would ruin my birthday more.

  “I’ll make sure he doesn’t.”

  “How?”

  “We’ll set a firm guest list. No dates. I’ve got this, Aria. No worries.”

  Sure. My life is falling to pieces and I don’t even know what I am to my best friend anymore, but no worries.

  “I’ve got to go. Neil is giving me that look.”

  “Too much info, Ashley.” I rub my eyes, begging my mind not to picture Neil and Ashley going at it.

  “That he’s hungry, you perv. He eats ice cream every night at this time.”

  God, I have to control these hormones. I’m acting like a teenager. “Have a good night,” I say and hang up.

  I drop the phone onto the pillow and let out a long sigh. I know what I need to do. I have to confront Nate about why he told Aaron we’re dating and who his mystery girl is. I need to get everything out in the open so I can either get over these feelings and reclaim my best friend or do the unthinkable and confess that I really do want Nate to be my boyfriend.

  I’m not going to get any sleep tonight.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Nate

  Monohan calls all the editors into a meeting Tuesday morning. All the email said was there was a big announcement and there would be donuts. I’m sure the mention of donuts was to ensure Omar would show up. He’s notorious for coming in late, but he’ll drag his ass out of bed at any hour at the prospect of food.

  I walk into the conference room right as the clock strikes nine. Monohan has a grandfather clock in the office, so we can constantly hear the time ticking by. He thinks it’s motivational. We all think differently. In fact, I caught David with a screwdriver on his desk the last time the clock stopped working. Of course, Monohan had it fixed that very same day. I wouldn’t be surprised if we arrive at work one of these days to find the grandfather clock was stolen and sold for parts.

  Aria is seated on the far side of the table by the windows. I usually take the seat next to her, but today I choose to sit by the door, which gets me a raised eyebrow from her.

  “Late,” I mouth, hoping she thinks I want to take the closest seat so Monohan doesn’t notice I made it here just under the wire.

  Mr. Monohan stands at the head of the table and claps his hands together. “So,” he says in his booming voice, “I’m sure most of you have already heard about this, but on the off chance you’ve actually been working and not keeping up with the gossip, I thought we’d address it as a group.”

  I narrow my eyes at Aria, who shrugs in response. Obviously, we both missed this bit of gossip.

  “The Sentinel is looking for a new managing editor,” Mr. Monohan continues.

  Murmurs ring out around the table.

  Monohan puts his hand up to quiet the room again. “Yes, that Sentinel. You all know the reputation that paper has and how difficult it is to acquire a position there.” Monohan puts his hands on his hips. “The reason I called you all in today is because I know the editor-in-chief over there very well. He was my college roommate. We studied journalism together for four years.”

  Paul Weston is a friend of Monohan’s?

  “While Priority News is a small online paper, Paul values my opinion. He’s asked me to put forward a few names for the position.”

  More murmurs cause Monohan to pause again.

  “Of course, I might just tell him that my staff is too chatty to take direction and no one here would be right for the job.”

  Everyone goes quiet.

  I smirk. Not everyone knows when Monohan is busting balls.

  “As I was saying... As editors of this paper, you all have the qualifications for the position. So what I need to know is: Who cares so little for what I’ve done for your careers that they’d abandon ship to work for a big shot paper like The Sentinel?”

  Several people lower their heads at Monohan’s choice of words—including Aria. This is her dream position. She should put in for it. But it’s clear she’s not going to volunteer, so I do what I’ve always done when she needs a nudge. I raise my hand. “I would.”

  Oliver nods. “Count me in.”

  Interesting. I wonder how Mommy would feel about Oliver leaving the paper she created for him.

  Monohan smiles, confirming he worded this pitch harshly on purpose to weed out the true candidates. “I had no doubt.” He looks directly at Aria. “Anyone else?”

  Her gaze goes to me, and I mouth, “Do it.”

  “I’m interested,” she says.

  “Good,” Monohan says, not letting anyone else even consider speaking up. “I’ll let Paul know, and I’m sure he’ll be in touch to conduct interviews and get ahold of samples of your work. I suggest you get your portfolios ready.” Monohan turns and walks out of the room, leaving the rest of us to talk.

  “Why would you want to leave?” Leah, the copy editor, asks Oliver. “You have it made here. You’ll probably have Monohan’s job when he retires.”

  “Maybe it’s too much for him,” Omar says. “Being the one in charge means getting blamed when you run the paper into the ground.”

  “Yeah, don’t encourage him,” Edie, the opinion editor, says.

  Oliver stands up. “You can all go to hell.” He marches out of the room.

  Aria stands up and approaches me. “Getting hired at The Sentinel would mean moving.”

  “The commute from New Jersey to Pennsylvania every day would be killer.” I didn’t stop to consider the prospect of Aria moving away from me.

  The other editors walk out, looking at Aria and me like we’re insane to both put in for the same job. Truth is, I’d be happy for Aria if she got the job. Of course, life without her would be... I can’t imagine it. This is a huge opportunity for her, though.

  “I don’t know. I’ve only been an editor for a week. Not even a whole week. There’s no way Paul Weston would hire me.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know why I even threw my name into the hat.”

  “Monohan clearly wanted you to.”

  “Probably because he feels bad about everything that happened last week. Promoting me, demoting me, promoting me again.” She raises her hands to the sides of her head. “I feel like I have whiplash.

  Monohan is a nice guy. I could see him trying to make up for all he’s put Aria through, but the truth of the matter is she’s a great editor. I’ve seen her work. The features stories have never been so good.

  I step forward and remove her hands from her head. “You could absolutely do this job. Monohan knows it, and I know it. Go into this interview with the right mindset.”

  Mr. Monohan steps into the conference room. “Neither of you has the job yet, so back to work. Sheesh, you’d think we were running a spa with the way you two are turning this into a relaxation room.”

  Aria scoots around me and out the door.

  “Dixon, I’d like a word with you.” Monohan motions to the table and then shuts the door.

  I sit down, wondering if he’s going to ask me not to take the interview. It’s possible he doesn’t want me to leave or sees the jump in positions as too big of a stretch for me.

  “I think Aria interviewing is a good idea, but between you and me, I don’t think she has the experience Paul is looking for.”

  I narrow my eyes at him, furious that he’d let Aria go through with this if it’s only a pity inter
view. “Then why did you stare at her until she raised her hand?”

  “Interviewing will be good for her. I know she’s not going to stay here forever. Hell, I know most of you won’t. This paper is too small, and you’re all great writers and editors. I expect you to move on. Truth of the matter is, out of everyone, you’re the most qualified. You have the most experience at the editorial level—of those who will be interviewing, that is.”

  “Yes, but I think we both know advertising manager and features editor are very different jobs. I’m not even technically an editor. Aria—”

  He raises his hand to stop me. “I’m well aware of the roles of the different editors at this paper. You have the leadership skills and experience The Sentinel needs. And let’s face it. You’ve stepped up and acted as a managing editor here more than once. A managing editor needs to know layout. You do.”

  “What are you saying?” He has that look like he’s hiding something.

  “I’ve already recommended you to Paul. Sure, he’ll interview the others, but I’d bet money he’ll go with my recommendation in the end.”

  “I don’t understand. Why have a meeting and invite any of us to put in for the job then? Why not be upfront with everyone?” My head is shaking so much I must look insane.

  “Can you imagine the backlash if Marjorie Strauss finds out I recommended you over Oliver? She may own this paper, but she’d jump on the chance to see Oliver’s career advance with a larger paper.”

  So he’s trying to protect himself, save his own ass. Forget that he’s screwing with people in the process. I stand up, knowing what I have to do. “I won’t be interviewing for the position. I don’t want the job.”

  “Damn it, Dixon!” Monohan slams his open palm against the table. “You don’t get it, do you? I’m hooking Aria up here. Letting her interview with Paul will allow him to see her potential. She’s not ready for The Sentinel yet, but she will be one day and her name will be in Paul’s head.”

  But without me in the lineup, Paul would surely pick Aria over Oliver. “I’m still not interviewing.”

  “I can’t send Oliver and Aria alone. Neither has what it takes yet. I’d be wasting Paul’s time and theirs. There’s no way he’d hire either one of them.” He stands up and looks directly into my eyes. “All you’re doing is throwing your own career away for a woman who, as far as I know, doesn’t feel the same way about you as you feel about her.”