by Brittle, D M
“I just…. we need to eat, we have nothing in the apartment, and it’s getting late.” I lied.
“Are you leaving because of what you just read?” I hated lying to Jo but what I had just read had almost killed me. Cooper loved my wife, and at some point in that journal he was going to be writing about how he was her knight and shining armor the day that Sara tried to run Jo down, I don’t think I would ever be prepared to hear it in his own words.
“I won’t be long, I promise.” I took Jo’s face in my hands and brushed her cheek gently with my thumb before kissing her cheek.
“It doesn’t matter what the diary says Blake, I only ever saw Cooper as a friend, he said it himself in there, and no matter what he wrote; he will always be the man who would have raped me if you hadn’t have shown up. You don’t rape the person you love Blake, no matter what drugs you have taken or how out of your mind you are. He drugged me and he would have raped me, if you hadn’t have been there to stop him, I can never forgive him for that, no matter what we read in there and no matter what he says, just remember that, and remember that I love you, more than anything in the world Blake; I love you and what was it that you said before we left London? No matter what; we stick together Blake; I need you to stick with me through this, please, I can’t do this by myself.” Jo’s lip began to quiver, she knew exactly why I was leaving and I was a jerk for even considering walking away because of what Cooper had written. I threw my keys onto the table and removed my coat.
“Let’s phone out for the food huh?” Jo nodded as she placed her arms around me and buried her face into my neck.
“I don’t want to read the evidence either Blake, but we need to know, we need to see what happened and no matter what he wrote in there, no matter what he says happened, it changes absolutely nothing between the two of us, it’s always been you Blake, you know that.”
“I hate that he was in love with you, those feelings that he described on that first page? That’s how I felt about you too, how I still feel about you in fact.”
“We can’t let him come between us Blake; I need you to be strong for me now more than ever.” Jo lifted her head and placed her lips to mine softly.
”I’m sorry I almost ran,” I replied.
“I have run from you enough times in the past to know why you almost walked out of that door
Blake, I have spent the past five years fighting the fear that you are feeling now.”
Her hands reached up and gripped my hair as lips crashed together once more, our kiss deepened with every touch, she needed me, my wife needed me more now than ever and even though she had found this new strength from somewhere over the past few months, she was still vulnerable, she still hurt deeply and yet I had been about two seconds away from walking out of here because of a dead man’s journal. I needed to remember that no matter what Cooper had wrote in there, he was dead, he could no longer hurt us, but I was still capable of hurting Jo if I didn’t do the right thing by her. Placing my hands under Jo’s legs I lifted my wife from the floor and carried her through the apartment and into our bedroom where all thoughts of the trial, Cooper and everything else that had happened that day were pushed firmly to the back of our minds, for now.
Jo
For the first time since the day Blake and I had met I had seen something in his eyes that he had never shown me before; fear. He had been about to walk out of the apartment because of what he had read in Cooper’s journal, the one person who taught me not to run anymore and to face my fears head on was stood at our door about to run himself. I had always known that Cooper harbored feelings for me, he had flirted one too many times for me to think that it could have been just a friendship, but to see it written in black and white in Cooper’s writing was gut wrenching. The night that I had touched my lips to his had sealed our fate forever; had I have just stayed away and not lost myself in a moment of madness I couldn’t help wonder if he would still be alive today.
I had left Blake sleeping a couple of hours ago to read the remaining evidence that Theo had brought over for me. Cooper hadn’t been vague in anything that he wrote in his diary; in fact it was the most in depth diary I think could have ever existed. He had written down full detail from every single day that would prove to be vital evidence. He had described also how a couple of weeks previous to the dreaded night at Sugar, Sara had turned up at his apartment begging for his help; Cooper being the person that I had always thought he was, had taken her in and promised to help her get her life back.
Theo had labelled each diary entry for me that he considered to be of importance; there was also, at the end of the diary entries, a typed copy of a voicemail that Cooper had left for Sara the night before his death.
Case number 15896.
Cooper Henderson diary entry for prosecution.
Evidence log number 24.
“Even if I had been in a deeper sleep than sleeping beauty last night, I would never have missed the banging at my door at 3am, someone was about to get a beating. Unless of course it was Jo; then I would have been letting her in with open arms.
The long red hair that swept past me as I opened the door definitely DID NOT belong to Jo. Sara had pushed past me, headed straight into the kitchen, and poured herself a scotch downing it immediately. After the conversation that I had had only yesterday with Jo at my aunt’s restaurant, I could have easily of grabbed her by her slutty throat and threw her back out the door. I needed to know what the hell she was doing turning up at my apartment at 3AM.
“I need help,” she said. ‘No shit’ I had thought as I watched her pour herself another glass of scotch and down it yet again. She wasn’t the least bit impressed when I suggested to her that the help she needed was probably from the men in white coats, she had grabbed my shirt in desperation, her face immediately at mine as she ranted on and on about how Jo had ruined her life. According to Sara, Jo had taken everything from her and she was responsible for Sara’s demise. Little did Sara know was that only yesterday, I had sat with Jo while she had spilled out to me what Sara had done this weekend and from what I could make of the big mess of shit, there was only one person responsible for what Sara had become and that was Sara herself. Sara had turned up at Jo’s apartment and made a scene; she had threatened Jo’s life and then revealed her wrists that she had cut. According to Jo, as Sara had lay bleeding in her own apartment a couple of nights previous, she had called Blake who had rushed over to her to stop her from causing more harm to herself - fucking attention seeking bitch. When I had called her on it she was stunned, she even asked if I was fucking Jo now because I had defended her from all of Sara’s allegations. To think that I used to have fun with Sara, God she had been in my bed a lot more than I wished she had and I’ll give her - her dues, she was a decent lay but now she had turned into a psycho there was no way that anything would ever happen between us again. Cutting herself over the one night that she had spent with Blake was enough to warn me that she was far worse than damaged goods. She even tried it on with me again last night, forcing her lips to mine until I pushed her away and told her that our ship had sailed a long time ago and no way was I going to be helping her yet again but when she stood at my door ready to leave, she told me that if I didn’t help her, she would go after Jo and finish her off. I laughed believing that there was no way she meant what she was saying, but she was deadly serious, I could see the malice in her eyes, she wanted Jo dead, but for what I just don’t know. Jo had done nothing to hurt her, or to hurt anyone, she didn’t have a cruel bone in her body. Sara could actually learn a lot from her if she gave her a moment. I had even resorted to violence last night, but to be honest she had deserved it. When she told me what she intended to do to Jo, my anger boiled to a new level and I had grabbed her by the throat and pinned her to the door. I shocked myself that I had even lowered myself to that level, but the thought of anything ever happening to Jo would kill me. I knew one thing for sure and that was that if I didn’t help Sara get her life back and help her la
y low for a while; I would probably be sat at Jo’s grave soon apologizing to her for not doing what I should have done to keep her safe. I did the only thing that I knew to do. I laid down the ground rules to Sara. For starters, she wasn’t to leave the apartment without me, I needed to know where she was and what she was doing at all times and secondly, my bed was a no go area; period. I refused to get caught up by a psychopath who needed a padded cell not an apartment. I then allowed the bitch to stay, promising her that I would help her back onto her feet as long as she complied with my simple rules. Only time will tell whether or not I did the right thing.”
Case number 15896.
Cooper Henderson diary entry for prosecution.
Evidence log number 25.
“I think I am going crazy; it has been one week and one day since I last saw Jo and I couldn’t bear not seeing her any longer. Marcus had called and invited me out to Sugar Lounge and once he confirmed to me that Jo would be there too, I didn’t hesitate on accepting the invite. I am fed up of being on house arrest, constantly watching Sara to make sure that she is where she should be and is behaving, being stuck here is just making me think of Jo more and more, and the more I think about her, the more I want to see her; I made my excuses to Sara earlier this evening and left the apartment to head over to Jo’s place; if we were both going to Sugar this week then I would be taking her, that way I knew that she would be safe. Jo was out when I first arrived at her apartment, instead I was greeted by a hostile Alex whose annoyance was obvious when I insisted that I would be waiting for Jo to return as I needed to speak to her.
Seeing Jo as she entered the apartment looking breathtaking made that familiar ache reappear in my chest. She has had her hair cut and she looks more beautiful that I have ever seen her look before. I’ll be honest, I struggled to keep my mind focused as she stood in front of me but I eventually managed to persuade her to ride with me to Sugar, much to Alex’s annoyance, which only made me happier when she agreed. Already I am looking forward to seeing her again. And this time, I’m not sure that I’m gonna be able to control myself from touching her. No matter how hard I have tried over the past few weeks, her taste and scent are still imprinted into my memory. I need to taste her again; I need to feel her body pressed against mine. Gone now were any thoughts that I ever had of us remaining friends. She was it for me, and I was going to do something about it.”
Case number 15896.
Cooper Henderson diary entry for prosecution.
Evidence log number 26.
“Stepping into Jo’s apartment last night, I had plastered the biggest smile on my face to hide the obvious nerves that were beginning to make my body tremble. Those nerves were replaced with what I can only describe as jealousy when I saw Blake standing in front of me mentally undressing Jo as she stood opposite him looking like a lost puppy. Male pride kicked in and I forced my smile even wider, I headed over and placed my lips to Jo’s soft skin on her cheek. I whispered into her ear how stunning she looked, I knew that Blake’s eyes were burning into me as I turned to look at him. He was looking at me with such venom in his eyes. How he had managed to fuck up what he could have had with Jo was beyond me. I was about to use it to my full advantage as I boasted about being the lucky one tonight; which I was.
Alex had instantly jumped in as he shouted to Blake that there were ladies waiting for them, who had he been kidding? It was obvious that there was only one person that Blake wanted, and she was standing opposite him. I needed to get Jo out of that apartment as soon as possible, I saw it while I stood and watched them; it was as if they were having some sort of silent conversation between the two of them. I needed to put a stop to it before Blake could consume her mind for the evening but that wasn’t meant to be, last night definitely wasn’t how I had imagined it was going to pan out.
Jo had been silent on the ride over to the club. I could tell that she was so pre-occupied with thoughts of Blake that she probably didn’t even want to be there. The night had started off a disaster and I had needed to rectify it. As we headed into the club, I guided Jo through to the VIP area that had been roped off especially for the party. Jo had stopped as she reached Marcus and began chatting away with him so I took the opportunity to excuse myself; I had headed back out of the VIP area and hunted down Jason. Jason was head of security at Sugar and also, the person to go to when you needed a hit.
Jo had been so tense that I asked Jason if he had anything that could help her to relax. She had been in desperate need of a night out and for it to be a good one at that. We did the dealings and I headed into the toilet where I snorted a couple of lines before heading back to the VIP area and to the bar where I ordered us both a drink.
Jo began downing cocktails like they were going out of fashion. She must have drunk at least four to my knowledge and we had only been in the club an hour tops. I was becoming slightly concerned about how the effects of the relaxant would mix with the amount of alcohol she had consumed so from that moment I decided that I would order her only soft drinks from now on.
She talked about Blake the whole time that we had sat at the bar. I had started to get worked up. The alcohol mixed with the coke that I had snorted along with listening to Jo babble on about Blake the walking Adonis had got me all kinds of angry. I had sat there listening to her asking me why she couldn’t have fallen in love with me instead. Fuck, that had hurt more than I would have ever imagined. I didn’t do love, remember? And now I was feeling hurt that Jo had asked why she hadn’t fallen in love with me instead.
She had excused herself to go to the toilet after promising me that she was going to speak no more about Blake for the rest of the evening. Thank god I thought.
After watching her stumble away, grabbing everything in her path to keep her standing, I turned to the bar and ordered her a non-alcoholic cocktail. She needed to sober up if the night was going to go as I intended it to, and that was with my mouth at some stage locked onto hers.
She came back and downed the drink in one gulp just as Robin Thicke started playing through the loud speakers. She slurred to me that she loved the song as she held her hand out to me and asked me to dance with her. I smiled and took her hand in mine feeling the electricity buzzing through my veins. She had gone to the toilet hung up on her feelings for Blake; she had come back with a different look in her eyes. She was ready to let me in and I was gladly going to co-operate. I then led her through the busy crowd and stopped as we reached the center of the sweaty bodies that were moving to the beat all around us. We began dancing when Jo moved her arms up my body and wrapped them around my neck. She had leaned into me as though we were dancing to the slowest song ever written. She was giving me some sort of signal, she must have been. I was convinced that she actually wanted to do to me what I was desperate to do to her; the signals she was sending me were definitely working in my favor.
It didn’t take long before my erection was pressing hard against her body. She must have noticed but said nothing; instead she continued to press herself hard against me, I could see that she was leaning on me as a way of staying on her feet, but a guy can dream right? I removed her hands from around my neck and spun her body around; my hands gripped her waist as I pulled her back into my body. Her head rested back on my shoulder as she lifted her arms once more and placed them back around my neck. This was torture, sweet, beautiful torture but it was also hot, so fucking hot that there was no way that I was going to be able to keep my dick in my pants for much longer. My lips grazed her ear lobe and she didn’t protest. In fact, she leaned even closer to me so I did it again. I could have been mistaken, or maybe not, but I was sure I heard a small groan escape her lips. She finally wanted me and I was all about giving her what she wanted. I glided my hands up and down her body as I whispered to her about how good she felt, and still, she continued to take it from me. I could hold on no more, she had got to me so much, I needed her.
I didn’t offer her a choice as I rushed us both off the dance floor and into the long co
rridor that took us to the back of the club. It wasn’t how I had expected the night to pan out, but I couldn’t keep my hands to myself for a second longer. She had given me the green light more than once last night and something inside me couldn’t hold back for one second longer.
As I pushed open the exit door, Jo had swayed further into my arms. Unable to hold back, I pinned Jo to the wall and took her mouth in mine. I had wanted this since the night Jo first kissed me and now I had lost control and was unable to stop even if I ever wanted to. Jo had been absolutely hammered, but I couldn’t help the way my body was responding to her. I had kissed her with such force, sucking and nipping at her lips so much that I could taste blood. I had placed my knee between Jo’s legs to keep her upright, I couldn’t stop myself, she was too addictive, she was a different kind of drug, she was the drug that I had spent my entire life trying to avoid. The kind that was so addictive, that just one taste would have me hooked for life.
Jo had begun fighting against me, grabbing my shirt and begging me to stop but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t stop myself.
I was somewhere between heaven and hell and I couldn’t seem to decide which path was the best one for me to take. The more that she had begged me to stop, the more I needed to feel her, the more it made me want to be inside her.
But hearing her scream out as loud as she could made me realize what I had been so close to actually doing to her. Was I seriously about to fuck her when she was asking me not to? When she was begging me to stop? I had ignored her pleas and had begun working on my zip when Blake’s voice echoed through the deserted parking lot, bringing me swiftly back to the reality of what I was about to do. For the first time since knowing that Blake and Jo had fallen for each other, I was somewhat grateful for his interruption.