by Brittle, D M
I had stumbled back and could only watch as Blake approached me with such fire in his eyes, I was sure I was about to die. His fist connected with my face before he had even stopped walking, sending me crashing to the ground.
Before the pain had even registered, he was on me, my shirt in one hand his other fist hitting me repeatedly in the face. Jo was shouting to him to stop, I didn’t deserve him to stop; I deserved every single punch and a whole lot more for what I had done and was about to do to her. When the punches stopped suddenly, I looked up to see that Blake was back on his feet and running towards Jo as she slowly began to fall to the floor, her eyes were rolling, her body was limp. I scrambled to my feet as Blake was begging her to speak, begging her to tell him what she had taken. Blake demanded to me to tell him what she had taken as his fingers pressed against her neck checking for her pulse but I was frozen as I saw her lying motionless on the floor.
I remember Blake shouting to me as he picked Jo up from the floor, he was yelling to me to call 911 before he made a promise that if he found out that I was responsible for Jo collapsing then he would kill me, and he meant it. All I had given her was something to relax her, there would be no way I would ever hurt Jo intentionally, never. Panic ran through me, my whole body shuddered continuously as I watched her lay in Blake’s arms. I stumbled back a few steps before I turned and bolted as fast as I could across the deserted parking lot; Blake was yelling at me to stop but I couldn’t. I couldn’t face seeing what I had done to her. I was back to being the mother fucking prick that I had turned into as I ran and ran until my body forced me to stop and I threw up all over the side of the road. It was in that exact moment, that I spoke to someone that I had never spoken to before. I prayed to God please do not let Jo die.”
Case number 15896.
Cooper Henderson diary entry for prosecution.
Evidence log number 27.
“I spent most of this morning lying on my bed calling Jo’s phone repeatedly. There was no answer, just her voicemail every single time. I was desperate to know that she was ok. I couldn’t bear the thought that something had happened to her and it was entirely my fault. I had wanted to call the hospital, but the fear of the police being there and finding out it was me prevented me from doing so. I was a coward like that. By six this evening I could take it no longer. I dressed and drove over to Jo’s apartment building and sat patiently waiting for any sign at all of how she was. The hours ticked by and nothing. People came and went, but there was no sign of anyone that could give me the slight inkling as to how Jo was doing. Sara had called a couple of times while I was out; I had of course ignored her. Hell only knows what would happen if she knew where I was and why I was there.
By late evening I caved in and called the hospital. Telling them that I was Marcus was the best that I could come up with. I breathed a sigh of relief when they told me that Jo was about to be released and was fine. Upon hearing that news I came back to my apartment feeling as though the noose had been slightly loosened from around my neck.
Sara began screeching to me as I entered the apartment. She was stood at the kitchen island chopping vegetables asking me where I had been, okay so I may have slept with her last night once she helped clear my cuts, I couldn’t help it, I needed to forget about what had happened and Sara just happened to be there. I never gave her any detail about my beating but she guessed that it had something to do with a woman; thank God she didn’t know who that woman was. But even still it was no reason for her to turn all psycho on me because she hadn’t known where I had been, I made a point of telling her that last night was a one off, she accepted it grudgingly as she went back to preparing dinner for us both. I had reached for the whiskey and downed a large glass as I prepared myself for another night of listening to Sara yak on about what she was going to do with her life once everything had settled down, finally she was forgetting about Jo and seemed to be moving on, I couldn’t help but feel pride at being responsible for that somewhat but also, a lot of guilt for what I had done to Jo. We even discussed about Sara moving out soon, she didn’t seem happy at the thought, but her staying here had always been temporary and she had already proved to me that she was getting better.
I promised her that at some point this week I would sort her out with a hire car so as she could
go out and not be recognized, she wanted somewhere new to live as she told me that her old apartment held too many bad memories for her. Hopefully soon I will have my old life back, no complications, no Sara, I cannot wait.
Case number 15896.
Cooper Henderson diary entry for prosecution.
Evidence log number 28.
“I have called Jo again at least thirty times over the past couple of days. I just want to hear her voice, I just need to know that she is okay and most of all, that she could somehow see it in that big heart of hers to forgive me for the stupid stunt that I had pulled on her. There was no reply, nothing. It is killing me. Sure, I don’t deserve her forgiveness, I deserve a jail sentence, even that would be too much of a let off for what I have done but I am missing her like crazy. I had been given the chance to be everything that she had needed in a friend and I had thrown it all away because I was more interested in getting laid. That ship had now well and truly sailed. There was no way on this planet that Jo would ever see me as anything different now, other than the person who tried to raped her.
It has become unbearable not seeing Jo or hearing her voice. The past few days I have fallen into a Sara trap because of it; it’s the only way that I feel I can occupy my mind away from Jo. I know that Jo is okay but it is killing me not being able to speak to her how we would have before this massive volcano erupted. Sleeping with Sara is the only way that I manage to keep myself from thinking about Jo, even for just a few minutes, but then each time we finish up I feel the guilt that I have become so accustomed to, creeping in. I need to tell Sara again that this can’t keep happening, she knows that she is fast becoming my weakness and my medicine; she just doesn’t know why.
So today, I have felt beyond fed up with how my life is swiftly changing. I needed to see Jo, I needed to apologize and I needed to get back any tiny piece of our friendship that she was willing to give to me. I found myself heading over to her apartment before I had a chance to see that it could end so badly.
As the elevator climbed each floor, the nerves got worse, I feared that she could still call the cops, but I needed to take the chance that I could apologize first.
As I stepped out of the elevator Jo was stepping into the hall. Immediately her eyes lifted me to and all I could see was fear. How could I have done that to her that she now feared me? She had no sparkle in her eyes, no smile on her face, just fear. I wasn’t a monster, I wasn’t. I just needed to convince Jo of that too.
Her panic caused her to backtrack as she stepped back into her apartment and pushed the door but I was there before she had a chance to lock me out, and I wasn’t going to give up until she listened to me. She yelled at me to move but I was desperate to talk to her. She even told me that if I didn’t move she would call the police, but I couldn’t just walk away now I was here, I needed to make things right again. After practically begging her to listen to me, she eventually stepped aside and let me into the apartment.
I stepped past her and into the apartment. I wasn’t going to make any move on her, I just needed to talk to her and explain myself. I hated that she felt that she needed to warn me with the police, but I could understand why. I had been a monster to her but if she could just trust me again, I would prove to her that it was just a moment of madness where I had been taken over by some sort of alien. I wanted my old friend back, our old friendship that had meant so much to me.
She used the time that we talked to question me a lot. She had wanted to know where I had gotten the drugs from. I lied. How could I tell her that it was one of Alex’s staff that had given me the drug that I had then given to her? I know I probably should have, but it wasn’t his fault, he d
idn’t force me to buy it, that choice was mine and mine alone. So telling her that they were mine was the only explanation that I could give to her. I think she believed me.
I eventually picked up the courage to ask for her forgiveness when my eyes wandered to a suitcase in the hallway, she was probably moving in with Blake, I assumed after the other night that they would be back together by now. She told me that she was going home to London, she said that her life here was now over and there was nothing to keep her here anymore.
And like a knife straight through my heart she was gone and out of my life forever, and for the first time ever, I felt what real heart break was as she stepped into a taxi and headed for the airport.
I drove back to my apartment and sat in the underground car park unable to convince myself to go up to my apartment; I didn’t want to be explaining to Sara why I looked like a state. I had cried real hard tears as my conversation with Jo had replayed over and over in my mind. She had become my weakness and even though she didn’t blame me as her reason for going back to London, I was no fool. If I hadn’t done what I did to her, she wouldn’t be 30,000 feet in the air by now and going home. If ever there was a bright side though, I could now feel safe letting Sara move out, Jo no longer had a target on her back.”
Case number 15896.
Cooper Henderson diary entry for prosecution.
Evidence log number 29.
“Today things weren’t as I expected them to be when I woke alone and in Sara’s bed. Shit.
She wasn’t lying beside me and her side of the bed felt cold. I climbed out and headed for a long cold shower. I was determined that today I was going to try my hardest to keep my hands to myself.
After showering and changing into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt I headed through to the kitchen, I caught a glimpse of Sara on my way through as she sat on the edge of the coffee table with her eyes fixated to the TV screen.
I poured myself a cup of coffee, walked over and propped myself next to her on the table. My eyes lifted to what Sara was watching. It was them; Jo and Blake.
I asked Sara what the story was about while trying to sound uninterested as I took a sip of coffee, but Sara didn’t reply, she just sat watching them like she was in some kind of hypnotic trance. I turned to the TV just as the video clip ended and the cameras went back to Kelly and Michael. Jo hadn’t gotten on the plane. She had gone to the airport but Blake had then turned up to stop her. It was headline news, everyone was apparently talking about it, but all I could think about was that she hadn’t gone. She was still here in New York City, albeit with Blake but she hadn’t gone. I felt the relief wash over me, as well as the hate I felt for Blake for being the one who stopped her, they looked happy though, They really did look made for each other, I hated that.
I stood and switched the TV off and walked back into the kitchen just as Sara began screeching again as she followed me into the kitchen. Masking my hurt for Jo, I cleared my throat and turned to face her. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back into the counter, Sara was struggling to hide her disappointment about what she had seen. I told her that maybe she shouldn’t watch stuff like that as she wasn’t ready yet but she continued to huff around like she had been cheated on.
Sara watched me suspiciously when she had begun to bitch about Jo, it was the one time that I had opened my mouth and told her to shut the fuck up but I hoped that she didn’t notice what I was hiding, I could not let her find out about my feelings for Jo because after what happened between us both last night, it would be the last straw for her, she would be straight out of here and hunting down Jo. I did the only thing that I knew would occupy her mind; I lifted her from the floor and took her to bed.
It was time that we both got over our feelings for the couple who were bound to be headline news now forever.”
Case number 15896.
Cooper Henderson diary entry for prosecution.
Evidence log number 30.
“I have spent the past couple of days keeping Sara calm and happy, it seems to be working, she is beginning to trust me and I am beginning to believe that she will keep away from Jo. She has asked me again about getting her a car so she could find somewhere new to live and even though at some point in the past week we seem to have drifted into the whole relationship thing, we have both decided that we are going to do it properly rather than start as a live in couple. That suits me more than Sara realizes, I need my space back, it’s beginning to kill me not being able to do what I want and when I want to do it, Sara can be quite suffocating at times, so if she wants a car and a new apartment, she will get them.
My feelings for Jo are still as strong as ever, I miss her so much that it’s ridiculous, all I want to do is hear her voice or just have some kind of contact with her, I also just want to tell her to be careful, I’m not really sure that she needs to be careful as I have Sara under control so far, but I care enough for her that I need her to stay safe. I suppose what I also really want is some closure; her and Blake are for keeps now, that was clear for anyone to see. So yep, all I need is some closure and to know that she will stay safe; that is the only way I am ever going to be able to move on from her.
While Sara was taking a shower earlier this evening, I stepped into my room and dialed Jo’s number again, it rang. For the first time this week it finally rang, so when it went to answer phone, I immediately dialed it again. This time she picked up, but instead of Jo’s voice, I was met with Blake’s angry tone on the other end of the phone, shit. “Now listen to me, you sick bastard,” he had shouted to me, “you may have somehow convinced Jo that you never intended to hurt her, but I know different; I saw the whole fucking thing, and I know exactly what you intended to do to her. When you stepped back and started unbuckling your belt, there was only one thing you were thinking about. You would have raped her if I hadn’t stopped you, and you would have killed her too! Don’t you ever, ever call or contact her again, because if you do, I will not stop at breaking your fucking nose next time; I will break every last bone in that worthless body of yours. Do you hear me?!” He had cut the call before I had another chance to speak. I deserved every single word that he had said to me, I couldn’t deny it, but hearing him say that I could have killed her made my stomach knot. I had come so close to both raping her and killing her with the drug that I had given to her, maybe I would deserve to have every single bone in my body broken, that wouldn’t hurt a fraction as much as hearing those words that Blake had yelled to me. I stood and stared at the phone thinking about what a big fuck up my life was fast becoming.”
Case number 15896.
Cooper Henderson diary entry for prosecution.
Evidence log number 31.
“I slipped out of bed this morning, showered, changed and left a note next to the bed telling Sara that I was going to sort a hire car out for her; don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying the sex that Sara and I are having, the therapy is doing me good and it’s keeping Sara’s mind occupied away from Jo, and despite the fact that I am fast developing feelings for Sara too, I can’t be doing with waking every morning lying next to her. It goes against everything that I have always believed in. I need my bachelor pad back.
Whilst walking down the busy streets of New York I looked around and observed the people around me, everyone has a story to tell; most are happy and laughing, then there are the business men who look stressed and worried, mothers are shouting at their children to keep away from the curb and old couples hold hands as they walk slowly taking in everything around them. Then my eyes had caught sight of her, Jo. I squinted trying to focus on her; I thought it was my mind playing tricks with me. She was smiling happily to herself; obvious contentment graced her beautiful face. Her shoulders tensed as I called her name, she never turned to face me but instead just kept on walking at a brisk pace, I picked up the pace and caught up to her. Still her eyes didn’t meet mine as I walked alongside her. It was strange, the Jo that I had seen Friday night right before she left for London must ha
ve been a figment of my imagination because even though she hadn’t forgiven me, she had told me that maybe we could have been friends again; the Jo that was stood next to me today was guarded and unsure of my presence. It all came down to the fact that Blake didn’t want her around me, understandable from his point of view I suppose but all I wanted back was the friendship that I had cherished so much before all of the messy shit had hit the fan. She wasn’t even mad with me anymore, I could sense that. If anything she would have me back as a friend tomorrow but her feelings for Blake would always get in the way of that happening. I don’t think that I can live with knowing that we could have been friends again if I hadn’t have over stepped the mark at a ridiculous rate.
We spoke for a few more minute and I told her to stay safe. She seemed confused as to why I wanted her to be safe, but again, I could never explain to her what I meant by it. As she walked off down the street, I couldn’t help think of all of the ‘what ifs’ that surrounded Jo and myself. I pulled myself together and headed towards the rental place to get Sara a car. That too didn’t go to plan, the only car that they had available was an SUV, she wanted small and reliable but this was all they had, the advantage I suppose was that it had tinted windows; at least no one would spot her out and about in it. So there goes another day, and thankfully not much drama, hopefully by now life is getting back to some sort of normality for us all.”
Case number 15896.
Cooper Henderson diary entry for prosecution.
Evidence log number 32.
So it’s been a couple of days since my last diary entry, the reason for that? I have been stuck in a fucking hospital bed recovering from the attack that I suffered at the hands of psycho Sara a couple of nights back. Just as I thought that life was becoming better, bang goes Sara and now I don’t have a fucking clue where she is or what she is even doing out there. One saving grace is that I know that Jo and Blake took off this weekend, so wherever Sara is, I know that Jo is safe, for now. But she is going to be back soon enough, I know that Blake heads off to Miami on Monday for two weeks. I need to find Sara before then and I need to put a stop to this shit. It was all so ridiculous, I had come home with the car as she had wanted but she was acting weird. She then asked if she could see the car, I should have known that she was up to something when she brought her purse and said that she wanted to go out for a test drive. I had opened the door when the next thing I knew, I was flat out on the floor after she had smashed it against my head God knows how many times. She then began to yell at me, accusing me of sleeping with Jo behind her back. Little did I know that when I was out that morning and just happened to see Jo walking down the street, Sara had been following me, she had then come home, put two and two together and got a fucking thousand. So yeah, she beat me up and left me lying on the floor bleeding to death, thank God someone had got to me in time otherwise I don’t think I would have pulled through the shit. My mission now is to find Sara, take her slutty ass back to Washington and back to rehab or a fucking mental institution; either way, I need to make sure that until I do find her, I will keep Jo safe and if that means being her shadow the whole time that Blake is away then so be it; whether Jo likes it or not, I refuse to let Sara beat me on this one, this is something that I need to do.”