The Bluebell Bunting Society
Page 1
The Bluebell Bunting Society
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Acknowledgements
Copyright
The Bluebell Bunting Society
Poppy Dolan
For Kirsty Greenwood. Man, oh man, I owe you so much. Thank you for every single thing you’ve done for me.
Chapter 1
‘If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!’
But Alfred is not happy. Alfred is a furious ball of baby fat, a small and rather angry Winston Churchill lookalike. Tears are streaming down his red face and his screams are so forceful I can feel my fringe being blown off my forehead.
His screeches completely drown out my claps, but I persevere with the next verse. I thought singing soothed babies? I’m no Mariah, but even my off-key warbling shouldn’t cause this kind of a reaction.
‘…Stamp your feet!’
Alfred’s mum looks like she could stamp on my head. I hear, as the world’s angriest baby pauses to take a breath, ‘It’s not like this at Bounce and Rhyme.’ The fellow uber-mum next to her, in identical skinny white jeans, nods with a sour frown, wrinkling her perfectly blended eyeshadow into crow’s feet. Oh cripes. These two were the only new visitors this week, as well.
The whole idea of the Sunday Funday at the Hall was to give families a breather, a bit of a laugh, with craft activities and singing and general mucking about; kids everywhere and parents able to sip at weak squash and discuss extension plans. Well, that’s what it had been like when I was little. Now I’d be happy to see a horde of happy mums and their buggies through the doors, whatever they wanted to do. Kickboxing. Astral meditation. Amateur acupuncture. But somehow I doubt Alfred’s mum will be giving us a big grin emoji on Mumsnet and promoting our community space. I should have known she was a tough customer when her tot came dressed in tweed trousers, a cashmere roll neck and answering specifically to Alfred. This kid was no Alfie. Never ever an Alf. This toddler has better shoes than me. And I’m 29.
OK, so the damp patch above the fireplace and the crack running down next to the front door aren’t exactly welcoming to most newcomers. And it gets a bit chilly when not full of bodies. And I didn’t think to bring in anything other than bog-standard tea and coffee, and some lemon Robinsons.
‘No decaf? No sugar-free?’ White Jeans number 2 said in alarm, as if I’d suggested she give her little Tallulah a Haribo salad for lunch.
But the Hall has its charms, and I love it. I’m proud to be its caretaker, for want of a better title. I love its ornate ceiling roses, the mostly-intact tiles that form a beautiful scene at the doorstep – vibrant bluebells against a lush green hill. It might smell of mould. It might only have two, temperamental plug sockets. But William Hibbert left it to our village as a gift spanning the generations: he built it so we’d have a place to gather. A place to be. A real community hall. The problem is, the community seem to have forgotten. He built it in 1866, so I can’t blame them.
Whether they’ve forgotten or they don’t like the odd bit of peeling plaster flaking onto their heads, it’s up to me to make Bluebell Hall as inviting as a freshly-made bed with extra kittens.
Because Bluebell Hall needs visitors. And fast.
I half-heartedly wave off my pair of yummy mummies: they won’t be back.
There’s a polite nudge in my side. ‘You can’t win them all,’ Susannah says kindly. Even when I have a zero turnout for a Sunday, Susannah is always here with sympathy and Coffeemate. She was one of my Gran’s best friends for decades, so just seeing her shiny silver bob and upright posture makes me feel calm, like I’m about to watch Stars in Their Eyes in my pjs in 1996, with a cheeky hot Nesquik on my Gran’s sofa.
‘Well, I appreciate you, caffeine,’ I mutter, ‘even if no one else does. Shall I make tea? Who else do we have left, should I make it a big pot?’
I scan the Hall. It’s not big – not big enough for a wedding reception these days, more’s the pity – but bigger than the Scout hut and definitely roomy enough for the smattering of locals we have today. There’s Lucy and her boy, Abel, my unofficial godson. Lucy married my best mate from school, so I pretty much invited myself into the role and no one has disputed it since. I’ve also helped myself to the role of her best friend since she moved to Hazlehurst from London, and she’s yet to make a formal complaint about that. Whoever said that women don’t like the wives their male mates end up with clearly has not met this impressive lady. I think being her friend has improved my intelligence and maturity by at least 12 per cent. Bless Luce, she knows how desperate I am for bodies through the door, so she comes rain or shine, even when she’s been working super hard and would rather flop about with a supplement and a Jammie Dodger on a Sunday. But here they are, sticking bits of sugar paper onto other bits of sugar paper, deep in serious four-year-old conversation. Every now and then, Abel will put his hands on top of Lucy’s, to show her precisely where’s she’s going wrong and it makes my heart go all fluttery behind my ribs.
There are two of the Carter boys from down the street. A big, jolly family – if I could measure the Hall’s attendance by volume alone, they would count for at least ten grown men. They are bouncing beach balls against the wall with huge slapping sounds, but seeing as I hardly have a pristine paint job to protect, I just let them get on with it. Their mum is lovely and I’m genuinely happy to take two of her five for an afternoon if it means her own house goes down to the mere 90 decibels.
Aha. Another new mum has slipped in and is looking with interest at our big carved panel memorialising William Hibbert, while her toddler picks up wooden blocks and lets them clatter to the floor with glee. Again, I do my best with the parquet but I’m not precious about it. People before parquet, is my motto. Here’s another chance to butter up a potential regular. And the first step, as always in this great land of ours, is with a beverage.
‘Hello! I’m making some drinks. Can I get you tea or coffee? I’m Connie, by the way.’
The mum turns on the spot, sending her swoop of bright red hair into her eyes. She quickly brushes it back then holds out her hand. ‘I’m Flip. Philippa really but I was one of three Philippas at school so this was the only shortening left. I would love a tea. Don’t suppose you have Earl Grey?’
Ah. Another Former Londoner, I reckon. Still, she doesn’t have white jeans on, so I mustn’t lump her with the yummies just yet.
‘I don’t think so, sorry, but I will double check. Are you… new in town?’
‘Yes! Moved here three weeks ago, from Walthamstow. I’m fascinated by the history.’ She points up at the likeness of Hibbert on the wall, ‘It’s a bit unreal now to think of super rich people just dishing out money for the good of us commoners, isn’t it?’
For a second I’m struck too dumb to reply. She’s gone from London to full-blown Hazlehurst devotee in a few weeks. This is so promising.
When I don’t quite get it together to reply, she talks on, gathering pace. ‘But I shouldn’t start down that road! No politics on a Sunday, so my other half always t
ells me. But I loved the village feel we had back in our old place and I really want to be part of it here too.’ Flip suddenly grabs my wrist as she says this. If her neighbourly skills are as good as her grip, she has nothing to worry about. I shake my hand behind my back to regain some feeling.
‘Well, we are very happy to have you here! The Sunday Funday is all about togetherness, and it’s just one of many activities we run here to get the community sharing pastimes and good times.’
Flip’s well-drawn eyebrows do a joyful wriggle. ‘Oooh! Such as?’
‘Um, well, the Bluebells meet here – it’s sort of our local version of Girl Guides. We used to have a coffee morning but the old folks’ home had to pull out because of…’ My eyes roam to the baggy water marks on the ceiling and the storage heater on the wall so cantankerous it belongs in a home itself, ‘health and safety red tape. Though it doesn’t stop our old folks’ choir coming, The OAP Three. They’re a local institution, been singing together since the fifties and they say they’d rather break a hip than sing anywhere else. Plus, I think it’s the only outing they get most weeks.’
Flip nods. ‘What about the WI, does that meet here?’
Susannah trots past at a fast but still regal pace, chasing a deflating beach ball. ‘Not since 1973, dear, when we had a fall out over sandwich spreads.’
‘Shame. I’m dead keen on joining. And this would be such an atmospheric meeting space!’
I can tell Flip must do something creative, as she’s really embracing our shabbiness as something more shabby chic, as if we’ve let the wallpaper peel on purpose and ripped out a brand-new bathroom suite to install legitimately chipped and faulty WCs from the Victorian period.
Abel runs over, proud to show me his own burst of creativity: lots of green and brown blobs of paper stuck on the inside of an old cereal box. My gran was forever collecting cereal boxes, egg boxes, wrapping paper – anything she deemed a ‘resource’ for the Hall. We may have been left the building itself but funds for what went on inside were a bit thin on the ground.
I’m cooing over its brilliance, all the while making a wide-eyed appeal to Luce for some help as to what it actually might be.
‘He’s got the triceratops’ horns just right, don’t you think?’
‘Yes, yes,’ I agree heartily. ‘A right old Damien Hirst in the making.’
‘Why’s Damian thirsty?’
I think for a minute. ‘Hirst. He’s a modern artist who cuts cows in half and puts them in big jars.’
I should have thought for longer. Both Abel and Flip’s daughter instantly start to wail.
* * *
When I come back from digging out emergency lollipops from the bottom of a Funday box of resources, Luce and Flip are chatting away, ten to the dozen. With the kids appeased and Abel leading little Sophie round the hall on a ‘dino hunt’, I tune back in to what they’re saying.
‘I’m not a local either, but I married one so I know all the Hazlehurst oddities now.’
‘Hey!’ I poke her in the ribs. ‘We’re not odd. We’re just not, you know… cosmopolitan. We’re old school.’
Lucy barks a laugh. ‘You’re so old school you might as well put the girls in mop caps and the boys in breeches!’
I fold my arms. ‘Hardly. I tweet. I hashtag. I’m not yet in my third decade, old lady.’
‘I’m ten months older than you.’
I press my lips together into an irritating smug smile. ‘Old. Er.’
So Lucy goes looking for allies. ‘This one,’ her thumb jabs in my direction, ‘might as well sleep with The Reader’s Digest under her pillow at night, she is that stuck in the past. I suggested she run some adult only evening classes here, seeing as she’s so keen to boost attendance. I did a knicker sewing class on a hen do once and it was so much fun.’
‘I love sewing!’ Flip claps and does a little jig. ‘I would absolutely be up for something like that. And a blessed evening out of the house? Yes please, I’ll come along twice if that’s allowed.’
Lucy slings her arm round my neck to half-hug, half-strangle me. ‘Sounds good, doesn’t it? But Connie says what she always says when she’s faced with something new.’ She releases me with a sigh.
Well, if she’s gathering troops, so am I. ‘Susannah?’ I yell across to our tiny kitchen. ‘What would Gran say to sewing frilly undies in the Hall?’
Her neat face pops through the serving hatch. ‘Hells bells, no!’
I shrug. Gran ran this place for 40 years and she knew just what the community needed and wanted. I’m not messing with that.
‘Shame,’ Flip says kindly. ‘I’m working on having an entirely me-made wardrobe by 2020 and I’d forgotten all about underwear. So to speak!’ She gives an enjoyably juicy cackle, with her hands clamped over her mouth.
Just then the Hall gets an unusual burst of activity: a balding middle-aged man shuffles in, followed by a teenage girl in very stompy boots. Abel gives a very loud pterodactyl shriek right in Sophie’s face, which starts her screeching again; the Carter boys start rolling round the floor in a play fight, picking up sticky bits of sugar paper on their jumpers and using language I don’t think their mum would be OK with. I try to prise them apart while simultaneously giving the two newbies in the doorway a welcoming grin. It might look a bit more like a grimace if I’m honest.
The teen’s eyes, smudged in thick blue liner, narrow as they take in the childish chaos and my half-hearted attempts to dampen it. ‘Lame!’ she hisses, turning on her platform heel. Her dad (from his look of weary exhaustion, I can only assume he’s the father) follows a safe ten paces behind, wincing at me in apology.
When everyone is calm and seated with a beaker of milk and a digestive, I finally exhale. Another missed opportunity for Hall-goers. More locals who’ll see this place as a mouldering shed to be happily forgotten about.
Gran, I think, I miss you.
* * *
My noisy band of Funday-goers has dribbled away, and I’m now pushing a broom around as Susannah rinses teacups in the sink. Still, at least we do the tidying up together. Together. The word clatters around inside my head.
‘No!’ The broom clatters against the tiles as I make a dash for the log book. I’ve just realised that neither Flip nor the yummies signed in. Oh bums. Triple bums. A log book, one of those funny leather-bound things you see in fusty B&Bs, may be ridiculously old-fashioned but it holds the key to the Hall’s future.
The Hall, such as it is – tiny, crumbling and obscure – is protected by the Hibbert estate for as long as half of the village population use it on a monthly basis. Hibbert’s family line ended a few generations after he passed in the First World War, so his property and investments were taken over by a trust, and they were the ones to pay the caretaker and keep a casual eye on attendance levels. For more than 100 years it was easily achieved because the village was made up of about 200 people and most of them had a reason to spend time here: the Bluebells meetings, coffee mornings for the old folks, birthday parties for little ones, even a line-dancing class way back in the mists of 1993. But then ten years ago a brand spanking new housing estate was built just outside the village, sending the population numbers through the roof just as the roof of Bluebell Hall took a battering from a huge storm and covered the coffee morning and its blue-rinsed members in hail and splinters of oak.
Since then the new leisure centre on the estate has been crammed full of happy families on the weekends and Bluebell Hall has seen some pretty amazing dust bunnies. As locals splash in the pool or squeak about the squash court in their trainers, funnily enough they don’t hanker after a draughty hall with scary loo facilities. (The spiders in there could be classified as small rodents, they are so big and hairy.) Hazlehurst village has never been such a vibrant place to be: new shops and restaurants have popped up to meet the big swell of inhabitants, the park got more funding and a new play area, even the library happily responded by stocking DVDs and magazines all of a sudden. But Bluebell Hall has
just got lonelier and lonelier.
I shouldn’t care, really. I’m not even 30, I’m unattached, I’m reasonably intelligent on a good day. I should be out making a kickass career for myself or falling in love and having twenty screaming Alfreds of my own. Or I should be taking in a Chilean sunset or developing an app. However it is apps are developed. I’m thinking it involves a calculator and lots of squared paper. Once upon a time, when turning 30 was just a vague threat on a far-away horizon, I had this mad idea of running music festivals (probably just a way I saw myself getting free gig tickets). That mad idea ended up going the way most mad ideas do – nowhere. Turns out, it wasn’t the job for me. But caring about Bluebell Hall is not only my job now, it’s in my bones. It’s in my DNA.
When William Hibbert (Hibbs, as he’s known in my family) bequeathed the Hall to the village, he also set up a bursary to pay a caretaker to look after it. And many great-greats ago, that was my ancestor Bob Duncan. Since then, we Duncans have kept our eye on the Hall, barring great wars and the like proving a distraction. The last caretaker before me was my gran, Rosemarie. The first female caretaker here, but not the last. She walked in lilac slippers, did my gran, but she was no pushover. So when her own father suggested the mantle passed to her new husband, Reg, she promptly picked up his dinner plate and slid his Sunday roast with all the trimmings neatly out of the kitchen window. She told me, when I was a teenager, that she was very careful not to actually chip the plate as it was her mum’s best, and she was no fool. And I took it as a really good lesson on how to stick up for yourself: don’t be afraid to make a noise, but avoid permanent damage if you can.
Gran was such a passionate believer in the Hall and its place at the heart of our village. I flip back to the first page of the heavy log book: 1983. About ten years into Gran’s long run as caretaker. She did hat decorating classes here, a homework club for after school, even ran her own keep fit. As I remember it, they just did lots of marching on the spot while a Rick Astley vinyl played on loop and Mrs Macomber from two roads over caught my gran up on the gossip. But that pretty much is the healthy heart of village life, to my mind.