The Line Between

by Tamsyn Bester

“Why not?”

  The question was innocent enough, since prom was considered a rite of passage for most seniors, but the answer was far less pleasant, and not one I was prepared to give. It was too personal.

  “I guess I didn’t see the point in going.”

  It was a small truth, and only part of why I never attended my senior prom. I didn’t want to embarrass myself by telling him that no one had asked me because Dane took it upon himself to tell everyone I had a disgusting case of genital warts. It was another low point in my high school years, and there was no point in reliving it.

  “I’m sorry.” Chase breathed into my hair, and his hold tightened slightly. That small gesture shoved the ugly memory away and prompted me to say, “It’s okay. I survived.”

  We fell into an easy silence after that, the need to talk unnecessary. There was something so simple about being with Chase, and talking to him. As we moved to another song, I found myself wishing that I felt more, that I wanted this to be a real date. So I closed my eyes, and pretended.

  CHASE WALKED ME to my door and when I opened it there was pandemonium inside. Queen’s ‘I want to break free’ blasted from our stereo, and Grady was belting out the lyrics while making what looked like a dangerous mixture of alcohol.

  “You’re back!” Jade ran over, nearly knocking me off my feet, and pulled both Chase and I inside.

  “You’re just in time,” said Ashley. She danced her way to the kitchen, and took two glasses of whatever Grady had made before thrusting them our way.

  “In time for what?” I asked, wondering what the hell was going on. My two roommates were in their pajama’s – shorts that could be classified as underwear, and tank tops that showed off their generous boobage – while Grady pranced around in jeans, a grey V-neck shirt, and a Sombrero? Oh Lordy. Clearly we’d interrupted a three-person party.

  “We were about to play Never Have I Ever,” chimed Jade. She fell onto the sofa, and Grady followed, but not before giving me a bear hug. Ashley came to my side, and smiled at Chase. “Well, hello there. Who’s this hunky chunk of man hotness?”

  Clearly she’d had far too much to drink.

  “That,” said Grady, “is my little brother.”

  “And where have you been hiding him?” Ashley twirled a strand of her hair around her finger, and stared at Chase through her eyelashes. Okaaaay. That’s my cue…

  “Hands off, Ash. He just went out on a date with Kennedy.” Jade glared daggers at Ashley’s head, and I bit my lip to hide my smile. Ever the protective best friend. Little did she know that Chase and I were nothing more than friends.

  “That’s okay,” I said. “He’s all yours.” I winked at Chase, and his smile told me he didn’t mind that I’d practically pawned him off on my inebriated roommate. I took a sip from the glass in my hand, and nearly choked. God only knew what Grady had put in there, but it was strong enough to knock an elephant on its’ ass. I relaxed, and looked around as we all filled up our small living room.

  My non-date date with Chase was actually pretty pleasant, and I could see him becoming part of our little group. Sitting back, and watching the mayhem continue, I couldn’t fight the smile on my face or the warmth in my chest.

  Because for the first time in forever, I knew what it felt like to belong.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Kennedy

  IT WAS WELL past lunchtime by the time I arrived back from my trip into Brighton. The only class I had on Tuesday was cancelled, and after my date with Chase last night, I decided to take the morning for myself, and drive into town. I woke up feeling happier than I had in months, and the end result was a new haircut, some new clothes, and a new outlook on life. I came to the realization that I’d already lost so much, but that wasn’t an excuse to lose myself too.

  I’d left a note with Jade, letting her know where I’d be, and switched my phone off before I even left the apartment earlier this morning.

  I opened the door and found Jade pacing the living room with her phone pressed to her ear, while Grady sat on the sofa nursing what had to be a killer hangover. The drinking games continued, even after I’d gone to bed and Chase had left, and I wasn’t surprised to see that my friends looked like shit. Jade’s black hair was tied up into a knot on top of her head, and she wore nothing but an oversized Brighton U T-shirt. Grady’s hair was sticking up every which way, and he looked like a complete zombie.

  “Reid, I’m not being silly. It’s been over four hours, and I still can’t reach Kennedy!”

  She sounded frantic, and close to losing it. With a frown, I cleared my throat. “Jade?”

  Her head whipped around, and her expression morphed into one of relief.

  “Oh thank God! Reid, she’s here!” She ended her call, and crossed the floor to engulf me in a hug.

  “Where the hell have you been?” She asked, her voice cracking. She pulled back, and looked at me with watery eyes. “I’ve been trying to call you for hours, and your phone was off, and I was worried sick, and why – what did you do to your hair??”

  Jade switched gears from worried to shocked faster than I could blink, and I fought the laugh bubbling up in my throat. She was obviously worried, but I couldn’t understand why.

  “I went into town. Didn’t you get my note?”

  “No,” she sniffled, letting go of her vice grip on my arms. “I thought you went to class, and then when I couldn’t get ahold of you I panicked. Anyway,” she shook her head, “We have something more pressing to deal with right now. What’s up with your hair?”

  My mouth tipped into a face-splitting grin. “Do you like it?”

  Grady hadn’t spoken yet, but he rose from the sofa, and joined us where we’d congregated at the front door. “Honey bee, whatever the date with my brother did to you, it looks fabulous!”

  “Good,” I replied confidently. “It was time for a change.”

  And what a change it had turned out to be, for my hair at least. I’d gone to a salon, and after going through hair magazine after hair magazine, the hairstylist, Ziggy, had convinced me to be a little more daring than I’d originally planned. He dyed my hair what he called Marilyn blonde, making it look lighter than my natural hair color, and tinted the ends a light purple. I’d never been adventurous, but when I saw my reflection, I fell in love with the new look.

  “Don’t you like it?” I asked Jade. Not that it really mattered. It was the first time I’d ever done something for myself, and while it might have seemed insignificant to other people, it wasn’t to me.

  With pursed lips, Jade folded her arms across her chest, and replied, “I don’t know. I’m trying to decide.”

  Grady rolled his eyes. “Ignore her. She’s grumpier than usual this morning. I’m still trying to figure out what crawled up her ass and died.” He sauntered to the kitchen, and started making a fresh pot of coffee.

  I smiled, undeterred by Jade’s less than enthusiastic response, and placed my shopping bags next to the kitchen counter. “Does your mood have anything to do with why you drank so much tequila last night?”

  Jade plopped down on the barstool next to me. “No. I just wanted to have a good time, why’s that such a bad thing?” She snapped.

  “Whoa,” I put my hands up, “no need to bite my head off. I was just asking.”

  “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  “I do,” replied Grady. He leaned against the counter, his jeans hanging low. He was still wearing his clothes from last night, but didn’t look nearly as bad as I’d expected after spending the night on our sofa. “You need to get laid, sweet pea, and we all know whose bed you want to be in.”

  Jade glared at him, and I swear if she could, she’d make Grady blow up with that look. He smiled around the rim of his coffee cup, his eyes bright with mischief. They were having a silent conversation, but I could easily read between the lines. Something was bugging Jade. Or better yet, someone.

  “You’re so lucky I like you, Ambrose, or
I’d hang you over the balcony by your pubes.”

  Laughter burst from my mouth, and I tucked my head into the crook of my arm to silence it. I didn’t want to get on Jade’s bad side when she was in this mood.

  “Sorry toots, I don’t have pubes.”

  Jade stared at Grady, taken back by his retort, and then burst into hysterics. His unexpected admission had broken Jade’s sour mood, and despite it being way too much information, I was glad something had made her smile.

  “Where’s Ash?” I asked, once Jade had calmed down.

  “She had labs,” she replied. “I’d hate to be her after the amount of alcohol she had last night.”

  “Damn straight,” muttered Grady. “Girl sure knows how to put it away.”

  Jade snickered, and then turned her body to face me. “So, you going to tell us what happened with you and Chase last night?”

  In all my excitement and eagerness to get out this morning, I’d completely forgotten about filling Jade and Grady in about my supposed date. I wasn’t sure why, but for some reason I’d decided that not telling them would be better than having them rib me about what they’d expected to happen.

  “Nothing,” I replied. “We ate burgers, spoke about stuff, and danced. That was it.”

  Grady’s brows rose into his messy hair. “You’re telling me my brother, Mr. Charming,” he threw his hands up in dramatic flair, “didn’t try a move on you?”

  “He was a perfect gentleman,” I said, trying not to sound too defensive.

  Jade snorted, and I gave her a hard look. “I’m serious. It’s not like I was going to spread my legs for him or anything.”

  Judging by the expressions on their faces, my friends obviously thought that’s exactly what I was going to do. Ha. As if.

  “Seriously guys,” I added. “It wasn’t like that.”

  Grady was the first to respond. “That’s a first for him.”

  “Believe it or not, your brother is a nice guy, and by mutual agreement,” – of the nonverbal kind, I think – “we’ve decided to be friends, and nothing more.”

  “Does this have something to do with the fact that you’re still a virgin? Did that scare him off?”

  I gaped at Jade. “No! It has nothing to do with…that. And for your information, my v-card was traded in when I was in Georgia with my grandparents last year.”

  I slapped my hand over my mouth. I had no intention of divulging that little nugget of truth to anyone, ever, and there I went just blabbing it out at the first opportunity.

  “What?” Jade’s voice was shrill, and the pitch so high it made my ears ring. Holy cheese on toast.

  I shrugged like it was no big deal, but in actual fact, it was. Unlike most girls my age, the story of losing my virginity was actually a sweet one. As uncomfortable as it had been, it happened with someone I’d grown to care about, someone who had helped piece me back together after my world had burned to the ground.

  “How do I not know this?” Jade looked genuinely hurt, and even had her hand on her chest for effect.

  “It’s not something I wanted to share,” I replied softly. “It’s too personal.”

  “But I’m your closest friend. You can tell me anything.”

  Jade’s eyes started to grow wet, and something akin to guilt flourished inside my chest.

  Grady took her hand in his. “Jade, are you sure everything’s okay, sweet pea? You’re crazy emotional today.”

  It took her a minute to compose herself, but I took her other hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just wanted to keep it to myself.”

  “I’m being silly,” replied Jade. “I feel so unlike myself at the moment, and it’s driving me crazy. You’ll tell me about it sometime right?”

  I smiled weakly, and gave a brief nod. I had no intention of telling her that story, but she’d forget about it in a day or two, and never think of it again. Appeasing her with a lie was all I could do.

  Our bonding was interrupted when my phone rang, so I bent down, and grabbed it from my purse. I smiled when I saw it was Lucy calling. We hadn’t spoken in days, which was too long by my standards. I slid my finger across the screen, and pressed my phone to my ear.

  “Hi, Luce.”

  “Kennedy, sweetheart. Are you busy?”

  She sounded flustered, and somewhat nervous. My brows furrowed.

  “Not right now,” I replied. “Is everything okay?”

  “Your father wanted me to call you, and invite you for an early dinner. Him and Shelly have something he needs to discuss with you.”

  Those simple words made my stomach drop through the floor, and likely into the apartment below us. My father never contacted me, let alone invited me for dinner. Not that I would willingly go if he had extended an invite. The man was, for all intents and purposes, a complete stranger to me. I couldn’t imagine what he could possibly have to talk to me about.

  “Uh,” I hesitated, unsure of what to say.

  “It’s quite important, sweetheart.”

  The pleading in Lucy’s voice was unmistakable, and it only made my sudden anxiety ratchet up a few notches.

  “O-okay” I stuttered dumbly. “What time?”

  “Can you be here by five?”

  I checked my (new) watch, noting it was already two in the afternoon. I’d have to leave at four to be there on time since my father and his wife lived an hour away in Brighton.

  “Okay.” I was starting to sound like a broken record, but who could blame me? This request was completely out of left field.

  “I’ll see you then, sweetheart. Drive safe, all right?”

  “See you, Luce.”

  I ended the call, and stared at my phone.

  “What’s wrong?” Asked Jade. She knew I was talking to Lucy, and could probably see by the expression on my face that it wasn’t good.

  “My father has invited me to dinner. Apparently him and the stepmonster have something to discuss with me.”

  I chanced a look at her, and found exactly what I’d expected. Real shock. Not the kind she expressed when she saw my new hairstyle. But real, ‘knock-me-on-my-ass’ shock.

  Grady chuckled, completely oblivious to the wordless communication happening between Jade and me. “Stepmonster?”

  When we didn’t reply immediately he leaned his elbows on the counter, and waited. Luckily it was Jade who responded.

  “Yeah, that’s putting it mildly. What do you think they want to talk about?” The question was directed at me, but I couldn’t answer, so I just shook my head.

  “Do you want me to go with you?” Offered Jade. I was so tempted to say yes, because going alone terrified me, but I had to do it.

  “That’s okay, but be on standby in case we need to call in the reinforcements.”

  With my mood suddenly in the toilet, I got up, and made my way to my bedroom. I needed a moment to give myself a mental pep talk. Instead, I found myself wishing my brother were here.

  THE HOUR DRIVE to my father’s house went by quicker than I’d hoped. Before I knew it, their driveway stretched out in front of me, and I stopped in front of the door. The last time I was here it was easier because my father and his wife weren’t at home, but the thought of seeing them now made my stomach twist painfully, pushing bile up my throat.

  “I can do this,” I muttered into the silence of my Jeep. I took a deep breath, and mustered up as much Dutch courage as I could. There was no one to greet me at the door, so I didn’t bother with knocking. I let myself in, and nervously glanced around. Nothing about the place felt familiar anymore, despite having spent more than half my life in the confines of these walls. It was still as cold, and unwelcoming as I’d remembered.

  Lucy walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. “Kennedy, you made it.”

  She took my hand, and I followed her into the dining room. She stopped just outside, and gave my hands a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be here when it’s over, don’t forget that.”

  I didn�
�t have time to ask her what she was carrying about. She scurried away, and left me to fend for myself.

  “Kennedy.” My fathers’ voice crawled over my skin, and I suddenly wished I’d had the foresight to accept Jade’s offer to come with me. I had a terrible feeling in my stomach that this wasn’t going to be a pleasant visit. Still, I straightened my stance, and walked through the doors leading to our dining room with an air of confidence I didn’t possess. I had to keep myself together because if there was one thing my father could do it was smell fear.

  He was seated at the head of the table dressed in a business suit looking every bit like the predator he was. People feared him, and they had every reason to. His exterior was so well put together, with his dark brown hair perfectly combed, his angular face freshly shaven, and his physically intimidating stature. He was designed to lure people in with all those things, and when they were trapped, he took full advantage.

  My stepmother sat to his left, dressed in her usual designer digs, her blonde hair extensions perfectly curled, and her perfectly plastic boobs in the air. Her make-up was caked on, and it immediately made my think of the girls on that show Jade loved. What was it called? Oh yes, Jerseylicious.

  “Anthony.”

  I called my father by his real name because to me he’d never been anyone else. I sure as hell couldn’t call him ‘dad’, and calling him ‘father’ meant I had to acknowledge that I was his offspring. So I stuck to ‘Anthony’.

  “Thank you for coming,” he said, gesturing for me to sit down. “Don’t you greet your stepmother anymore?”

  I took a seat opposite the wicked witch herself, and gave her the same bored expression she was giving me. “Shelly.”

  “Kennedy, so nice to see you.”

  Liar. It was no wonder my father married her. If her blowjobs were anything like her acting then it finally made sense.

  Lucy came in, and deposited a roast chicken in the center of the over-decorated table, and left to bring the rice, and steamed vegetables. Whatever my father had to discuss must’ve been important if he’d asked Lucy to make such a meal, especially considering Lucy was the only one who ever ate at home. My father preferred eating out, as did Shelly.