Kiss Me (Promise Me Book 3)

by Brea Viragh

  Nolan shifted position, keeping the plate in place. “You know, you could use some sweetening up. You’ve been in a pissy mood since I got here. I can’t tell whether you’re up or down half the time.”

  I shook my head. Nolan was on the money, but I would have to think about it later when I couldn’t sleep and needed something to brood about. “That’s a lie. It’s nothing an aspirin and a long soak in a tub won’t cure.”

  His index finger traced a sassy pattern in the air. “Ex-squeeze me, but let’s act our age for a second. How many years have I known you?” He pretended to think. “Right, my entire life. I managed to make it through your angst-y teens like you did for me. I know you, sweetie. You can say it’s a lie but I see right through you.”

  “Mr. College Educated thinks he has a degree in psychology now.” Against my better judgment, I took a second sip of hot chocolate. The combination of heat and sugar helped me relax, fractionally, and I peered at Nolan. “Are you going to tell me how I need to work on dropping my walls and expanding my boundaries next? Or suggest we sit in a circle holding hands and repeating our feel-good words?”

  He rolled his eyes a second time. “I haven’t seen you this rude since Zeke Mann put gum in your hair. You punched him in the face.”

  The start of a headache blossomed from niggling pressure to outright aches. “Those were extenuating circumstances,” I told him. “I’m not pleased with the tight confines here. Someone around every corner.” The throbbing increased exponentially at the thought of our full house.

  Nolan gave my thigh a squeeze then released. “If you’re talking about Kai, then stop. He deserves to be here as much as I do.”

  I held up a hand to stop him before he went down that path. “I said nothing about him not deserving it. I said we were all crammed in this house like good little sardines. Which you can’t tell me isn’t bothering you.”

  “Damn right it is, but I’ll deal. I live in a three-story building with hundreds of men and women. You need to take a breath and get used to it.” He shifted. “Kai isn’t going anywhere, and I think it’s only fair for you to give him a chance. Make it up to him for being a jerk at dinner.”

  “Make it up to him?” I exclaimed. “What do you want me to do, bake him a cake?”

  “I said be nice, not kill him. You always jump to the worst possible conclusion.”

  Yippee for me. Unless I managed to make a quick escape, I’d be stuck with the guy for another twenty-four hours. I sized Nolan up. “You’ve gotten to be a stinker. Look at you, going all out for this guy. It’s like you’ve lost your mind.”

  There was something in the pitch of his voice, a rigid layer beneath the soft vowels. It gave me pause. “I’m fine, thanks for your concern. How the hell am I supposed to act? He’s my roommate and my best friend. I want my family to be nice to him,” Nolan remarked in a pointed manner. “What do you think?”

  I scratched my scalp, eyes rolling back in my head. “I think I’m going crazy.”

  “Talk to him, Nellie. You’ll see. I know it’s rough for you to be here but imagine how rough it is for him. Anything you can do to ease the transition, I’d appreciate it.”

  Okay, I was willing to admit—albeit reluctantly—how Kai and I had a strong connection. I was also semi-willing to admit that he and I clicked sexually, more than any other man I’d had the pleasure of pleasuring. Those admissions faded to dust with the look in Nolan’s eyes. He cared for Kai. More than cared; he had a crush.

  I softened, head angling in amusement. “Aw, Nolan. I’ll be nicer to him.” I drew my brother closer until his head rested on my sternum. “I promise.”

  “That’s all I ask. He’s important to me,” he said quietly. “It’s different from anything I’ve felt for a guy before.”

  Uh oh. “I can tell.” Another layer to this onion.

  Now I was the overbearing jerk Nolan named me to be. Worse, because of what had happened upstairs. I didn’t want to be with Kai, not in any meaningful way, despite the lust firing in my brain. If keeping my distance meant Nolan was happy, then I would gladly stay away, I decided.

  The flash of anger startled me. Out of place and undeniable. I always did what I could to keep my little brother in high spirits. Why would this be any different? It wasn’t like I was invested in Kai. It was better if I walked, the way I’d wanted to do in the first place. Right. This was what I wanted, too.

  “How long have you had feelings for him?” I wanted to know. “I mean, I know you’ve been roommates since the start of the year, but did you know him before then?”

  Nolan sighed, hesitating, trying to weigh what he was willing to divulge. “It’s been a while. Too long. You know I have a thing for skinny men.”

  “String beans.” Yes, I knew about his preferences. It was one of the many things we shared.

  Double uh oh.

  “Exactly. We got paired together at orientation, I took one look, and there were stars in my eyes. It didn’t help when we moved in and I saw how he lives. He’s clean. He picks up after himself and he calls me on my shit.”

  I pictured it now, though the image made me sick. It took all my energy to block it from my mind and engage an impenetrable barrier.

  “He is attractive,” I admitted. “And you two seem easy together.”’

  “It’s like…oh God, Nellie, it’s like I can be myself around him, you know?” Nolan ran a hand over his forehead and shot me a luminous smile. “I can let it all hang out, my flaws and imperfections, everything. I’ve never met another person I could connect with on such a deep level. We stay up late and talk until four in the morning.”

  Oh yeah? Petty resentment had me fighting against a sourpuss face. I’d become the used car salesman who knew he had a lemon on his hands but needed to make the commission. “You better keep these late-night chats from interfering with your school work.”

  “You’re funny.” Nolan hurried on, “Either way, I can talk to him. He’s not all emotionally whacked out like we are, you know? He’s a breath of fresh air. With everything he’s been through, he knows how to be real. He doesn’t let his past affect him.”

  Well, now, this should have made the next step simpler, right? Knowing how Nolan felt, and my desire to cut Kai out of my life, meant stepping back should be a piece of cake.

  “He must be a pretty stand-up guy,” I remarked.

  Nolan set the plate aside and got to his feet. He kept talking as he walked to the fireplace mantel, running his palms along the ledge. “I want him to feel like he’s welcome here. Like he can belong no matter what.”

  I was quiet for a moment, then shrugged. “I find it funny to imagine you’re saying this when you haven’t come out of the closet to our parents. How can you make your friend feel relaxed if you aren’t?”

  Nolan paused, his knuckles tightening on the wood. He counted to ten and released them. “I’m waiting for the right moment, okay? I don’t want to leap up and shove my sexuality down their throats.” He rounded on me, eyebrows knitting together. “If you out me, I swear to the holy baby Jesus—”

  “I get the message,” I declared. “I’ll keep my mouth shut and keep my distance from Kai.”

  The curtains parted and back was the sunny disposition. “You promise?”

  The words were like dirt in my mouth. “I promise.”

  “Good, because he’s not the kind of person you string along for your amusement.” Nolan bent to pick up his mug, took a sip, and straightened. “I know you. It might not be such a big deal to you, but I don’t want him being looked at like a toy. He’s mine.”

  “I hear you,” I said, getting irritable. “Neither of us are children, I’m not five, and I don’t appreciate your tone.”

  “Seal the deal?” Nolan held out his hand.

  “Sure.” I took it, our pinkies linking together.

  This was best for everyone involved. I entered the information into my mental files—and vowed to delete them once Thanksgiving was over.

 
What I needed now was a plan. A plan to get through the night without hassle or worry, and remove myself from the equation tomorrow. Entirely. Let my mother bemoan her lost opportunity and my brother spend time with his man-crush. As for me? I would be in the clear.

  So why did the thought piss me off?

  CHAPTER TEN

  “There you two are!”

  Thessaly wound around the corner in a swirl of red. Her dress, her hair accessories, the tiny little moccasins keeping the worst of the cold from her feet…it was all red. And not just any sort of red. Bright. Bloody. In-your-face red.

  “You flitted off without any breakfast. The eggs were getting slimy so I gave them all to Kai. No matter, I saved a bran muffin for you.” Thessaly patted her stomach. “It helps with the digestion. Now come on.” She waved a hand and motioned toward the kitchen. “I need you to start helping me prep for our big night.”

  “At ten thirty in the morning?” I asked.

  “It’s a very in-depth menu,” Thessaly began, careful to enunciate. “With lots of intricate details. Now, up! I’m willing to entertain your lackadaisical attitude, but only for so long.” She finalized the statement with a cool nod.

  All things considered, I would rather rip out my own teeth with a pair of pliers than be stuck in a kitchen with my mother. “Don’t you have your new pet to help?” Nolan’s glare burned a hole in my face and I smiled an I-wish-I-were-anywhere-but-here smile to deflect the worst of it. “Kidding! I’d be happy to help. Kai is friendly to a fault and a real asset to our family. He’s making the holidays special.”

  Those were the only words Thessaly needed to hear. “Perfect! I had a feeling you two would get along well. Now come on. There are potatoes to peel and green beans to get ready for a casserole. Not to mention the pie. I know your Dad wanted sweet potato, but I have other plans. You too, Nolan.”

  Nolan struggled to follow her without a shred of enthusiasm. “You do know Nell is the worst cook in the world, right?”

  “True.” I pointed a finger at Thessaly before she could whirl away. “I burn air.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t care. I have a plan.” Motioning us closer and speaking in a conspirator’s whisper, she told us, “After tonight, at least one of you will be happily settled and I won’t have to worry about your wellbeing anymore.”

  I stood straighter, quirking an eyebrow. “Why? Are you finally selling us off to the circus? I have to be honest, I think we’re too old. And I’m not flexible enough for the tight rope.”

  Nolan and I shared a grin. The two of us stood together when Thessaly decided she knew what was best for us. I remember the days we spent hiding in the woods. Turning over rocks, trying to find the salamanders underneath. Swinging from branches, pretending to be Tarzan and Jane. We splashed in the river, hunted the trails for interesting sticks, built a fort out of fallen tree limbs. A tomboy and her younger minion.

  Then we grew up and learned the reason why we wanted to escape.

  “Older, and I still can’t do a somersault to save my life,” he admitted. “You and I would have to sell tickets to the circus because we’d bring down the house. Literally.”

  Still, we followed Thessaly into the kitchen. I was hardly at ease, especially with Kai seated at the banquette like he’d bought out the old owner for pennies on the dollar. I made it a point to ignore him.

  “I remade the coffee. There’s still some left if you want it.” Thessaly pointed to the pot. “I can’t finish it or I’ll be up all night.”

  I gratefully accepted the last of the dregs, despite the grounds and the acrid bitterness coming from the dandelion root. It was too awkward to stand in the quiet with the three of them around me and not have something to do with my hands. It wasn’t my house, wasn’t my mess to make or fix. Was it?

  “What do you need me to do?” I asked. “I can stand here and look pretty all day but you’ll get mad.” Note to self: Do not look at Kai.

  Thessaly pointed to a basket on the counter. “Please get the asparagus and start cutting. I want to get a handle on these appetizers before your father gets back from the store, and I need help with the vegetables.”

  “When did he leave?” I wanted to know. “I didn’t hear the car.” Probably because I was engaged otherwise.

  Do not look at Kai!

  “It must have been when you and Kai went upstairs to have a talk,” Thessaly commented, tempering the sarcasm with a laugh.

  My teeth gnashed together with such force I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d chipped my molars. I turned to Nolan, half expecting his ire, though the fierce glare was too much. “I told you, I was changing. Can’t walk around all day with stains on my bathrobe.”

  “Your husband is a brave man to go out on Thanksgiving,” Kai said when Thessaly handed him a knife and a cutting board. Good save. “I wouldn’t want to navigate the stores today for anything.”

  “Beyond the last-minute holiday items, you said there’s bad weather coming. People will need their milk and bread,” I prompted. Ready to latch on to any other subject.

  “There were a few more ingredients I needed for dinner tonight, and your dad was the only person I could spare. Nolan! The sweet potatoes, before Curran decides he needs them for pie. And wipe that look off your face.”

  My brother did as he was bid, sliding a chair close to Kai and sharing the cutting board. “I haven’t peeled potatoes for you since high school. I might be rusty.”

  “Because you were the only one around to do her dirty work.” I leaned back against the counter, waiting for Thessaly to move before I attacked the asparagus. “I was out of the house and you were young and tender. Ripe for molding.”

  She moved from one end of the kitchen to the other in a swirl of scarlet. “I like to think I included both of my children equally when it came to chores around the house. Only one of you picked up a knack for it, though.”

  Kai came to my defense without hesitation. “I’m sure Nell is a remarkable cook.”

  Dear, sweet man. I pushed the loose strands of hair out of my face. “No, actually, I’m not. I can’t get a handle on the concept, but I keep trying.”

  “It’s what she does,” Nolan told Kai. He shifted to reach behind him for a towel, using it to scrape stray peels into a pile. “She’s been that way since before I can remember. The black-thumbed wizard of food. No patience at all. She gets too irritated from wanting instant gratification.”

  “She wouldn’t be the first one.” Kai let out a breath. “There are a lot of people who have issues grasping the finer aspects of cooking. I can make a mean bowl of macaroni and cheese, but ask me to make a rack of lamb and I’d need help.”

  An amused grin formed before I had a chance to cover it. “Then I wonder why you aren’t dazzling us with your macaroni skills tonight. You already promised us pancakes. Now you’re going to flaunt cheesy goodness in my face?”

  He sent me a look that burned me to my bones. “You mom planned the menu already, although I did offer.”

  In typical assembly line fashion, Nolan peeled the potatoes before sending them down to Kai. Neat piles of diced tubers lined a nearby platter.

  Thessaly gestured with her hands and made a wide circle. “I’m channeling the ancient Greeks tonight! We will dine like gods and goddesses.”

  Nolan caught my gaze and we scoffed in unison.

  “What did you do, kill a ritual boar? I thought we were having turkey.” I reluctantly eyed the green spears and wondered how much lag time I could get away with before she noticed. Before she noticed I was more interested in Kai than cutting the asparagus.

  “Oh, we are. I’ve added side dishes of my own to give our festivities a certain flair. The ancient Olympians will bless us tonight.” Thessaly huffed and stretched, first to the left and then to the right, arms overhead. Long dark hair cascaded down her back, left loose, and a stray bead she’d braided through it caught the light. “You’ll see. It’ll be a meal you won’t soon forget.”

  I s
huddered to think. Knowing my mother and her penchant for the dramatic, she’d probably hired people from town to come over and feed us grapes. Or fan us with palm leaves. I couldn’t say either would be a surprise.

  “I’m flattered you’d want to include my mac and cheese. It might not live up to the magnitude of the menu.” Kai glanced over at me, his face filled with humor. “I’ll have to remember it for next time. If I’m still around next week, I’ll make it for you, Nell.”

  His statement sent a jolt straight through me. This was the second time he’d offered to cook, the umpteenth time he’d mentioned something binding the two of us together.

  My eyes widened and my pulse leapt into my throat. Not only was I having a strange reaction to him, but it seemed he was just as affected. I saw a similar response with him, in his face, pupils dilated when he looked at me. The look nipped at my self-control.

  Thessaly wiped her hands on her apron. “What a lovely idea!”

  Surprise flickered for a moment and I must have looked horrified. “You want to cook for me?”

  “For us,” Nolan covered. “He means he wants to cook for us.”

  The moment shattered. “Sure. I wouldn’t mind. It would help me pay you back for everything you’ve done.” Kai set his knife down. “I know the holidays are stressful enough without throwing a stranger into the mix. You invited me in with open arms and I appreciate it.”

  Thessaly clapped her hands together. This was my mother’s dream domain. She adored two things above all others: love, and cooking. Now she had both of those within her grasp. Her lonely world was bursting at the seams now.

  “Yes, yes, the holidays are stressful. But I consider it a luxury, having my family close by. Raising my children and then having them run off left me with an empty nest.” She wrung her hands together, contemplating the array of olive oils on the shelf in front of her. “Thank you all for coming.”

  “There’s a lot to juggle when you have a full house. I lived in the foster system since I was six, and I was one of seven boys in my first house.” Kai took a look around the kitchen as if imagining the joyful chaos he’d left behind. “There was never a dull moment. There was never a moment. Leaving it behind was a…different experience.”