The Read And Weep Bundle: Anonymous, Perfectly Hopeless, Run

by Holly Hood

  “I didn’t say I know anything.” She jumped down from the stool, slamming her bowl into the sink and walked out of the room.

  ***

  Flynn and his uncle, April and Sandra and the rest of his family all waited in the family waiting room. Never had he seen so many people pace at one time. He wasn’t able to pace, he was plastered to the wall, his heart crashing against his insides to the point he was hurting. He did everything he could not to think about it, because when he did his airway ceased and he felt his legs turning to rubber.

  He couldn’t get Henri’s image out of his mind. He wasn’t resting at the bottom of the hill because of his heart, someone had put him there. Someone had purposely hurt him. And he feared he knew who that someone was. Jake Summit.

  The speakers echoed the name of some doctor. The television flashed and sent the morning news into the waiting room. Flynn closed his eyes, concentrating on his breathing. His mother’s sobbing was becoming too much.

  His phone buzzed in his pocket. “Hello?”

  “Flynn? This is Maven. I got your number from my brother Nick,” Maven said hesitantly, she wasn’t sure if she should be calling at all.

  “Maven hey,” Flynn said welcoming the diversion. “I’m surprised you’re not down here.”

  “I…I wasn’t sure.”

  “Just giving you a hard time, but of course your allowed here.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Henri would be thrilled.”

  There was a silence and finally Maven spoke. “He’s okay?”

  Flynn’s eyes shifted. “He’s here at the hospital. We are waiting on his doctor to let us know the damage.”

  Flynn’s manner of speaking terrified Maven he could sense it. “I could call you back and let you know.”

  “That would be good, Flynn, thank you. Maybe afterwards if things are okay I could come down.” She was so nervous she hung up on him without a goodbye. He programmed her phone number into his phone to make sure he could get a hold of her once they heard any news about Henri.

  Just then the doctor came walking into the room. All eyes were on him and all pacing slowed or died down altogether.

  ***

  Jake reached into the mailbox pulling out some bills and a sports illustrated magazine. He looked over his shoulder at Arnold approaching.

  “Jake. I need to talk to you.”

  Jake sighed, tossing the mail on the porch steps. He took a seat, resting his arms against the basketball shorts he was wearing. “What’s up, Arnold?” His voice coming across a bit bored.

  “You know my sister Ray-Ann works as a candy striper at the hospital right?” Arnold fidgeted with the sleeve of his gray hoodie. He sat down beside Jake. “She said Henri was brought into the hospital this morning.”

  Jake offered no words. So Arnold continued. “You think he will say anything?”

  Jake shifted apprehensively “I don’t know.” A sudden flow of anxiety coupled with paranoia overwhelmed him. He hadn’t reported the incident like he promised Arnold he would. He hoped for the worst to happen to Henri before they even found him. He knew it was a sick thing to hope for, but he was left with no alternative.

  Arnold shook his bangs from his eyes, he looked at Jake. “This isn’t good for you.”

  “What do you mean me, Arnold?” Jake laughed it off. “It was a drunken mistake. I barely hit him.”

  “I mean you. If Henri remembers what happened he knows I was trying to help him. You’re in deep shit. Maybe it’s time for you to realize that.”

  Jake scoffed.

  “You might want to tell someone what you did.” Arnold stood up. “Because the way I see it, even if nobody ever knows what you did, Jake, his family will.”

  Jake picked the mail up from the stairs. “You think I’m afraid of Flynn?”

  Arnold shrugged. Flynn was older than he was so he didn’t know a whole lot about him, but he was passionate when it came to his family he knew that much. “I got to go.”

  ***

  Flynn interlocked his fingers. Leaning forward in the chair he was offered. They wanted to talk to the entire family. His knee jerked relentlessly as he stared at the doctor.

  “Right now things don’t look as severe as we initially thought. Henri has a small amount of bleeding on the brain, nothing horrendous, some scrapes and contusions.” The foreign gray haired doctor rattled. He averted his gaze from one to the next never making it personal. “The heart…it’s doing what we expect it to be doing for someone in his stage of failure.” Flynn’s eyes narrowed. Suddenly the man’s language was so foreign he barely made sense. He wasn’t about to admit it wasn’t his language at all that it was his emotions getting the best of him.

  “Can you speak English? Damnit, don’t they have any American doctors around here?” Flynn jumped up. The doctor glanced at him and away, he cleared his throat.

  “The body is weak. His heart, the pacemaker, it’s doing the best it can. But soon we are going to have to connect Henri to a device that keeps his heart pushing along until we can do something else.”

  His mother raised an eyebrow. “But the surgery…it’s on Monday.”

  The doctor sanded his hands together, an uptight expression flooding his features. “The body is weak…the injury to the head, the cuts and scrapes have started an infection. We have to deal with the immune system before we can offer him that option. Right now Henri is not an ideal candidate for treatment.”

  Flynn groaned, slapping his hand to his forehead, out of breath. His mother dropped her head. All the hope seemed to sail right out of the room.

  “Henri is awake. One visitor at a time.” The doctor stood, he shook Flynn’s fathers hand and Doug’s and quickly exited.

  Sandra burst into tears. April’s eyes darted back and forth between her mother and her father and her brother. She was close to losing it. She bit at her nail, barely holding her own tears back. Her mouth was dry, she was sick to her stomach. She didn’t know what to say. She looked at her aunt, Henri’s mother; she was motionless, just staring out the window.

  “That’s it?” Flynn said, cutting into everyone’s sadness. “What now?”

  “They are going to fight the infection, Flynn. Doctors won’t make another move without an absolute certainty that his body can handle it.”

  “He said heart failure… there is no time to wait.” Flynn exhaled, his words catching in his throat. “What happens if the infection doesn’t go away?” He already knew the answer.

  Janet stood, coming over to her son, his entire body trembling more than she had ever seen before. He looked like he was ready to run from the room. She wrapped her arms around him, but he was oblivious, his arms stiff and rigid and staying at his sides.

  “Let’s take this one step at a time.” She closed her eyes, her face pressed against his chest. “Go see him. Talk to him, let him know you’re here for him.”

  ***

  Henri opened his eyes, staring at the IV in his arm. He was happy to see the hospital for once in his life, but he was so tired and groggy he couldn’t stand to have his eyes open longer than a couple minutes at a time.

  His machines looming beside him ceased and hummed, and finally quieted. Henri closed his eyes again. He could see her, Maven, her smile, her soft blonde hair. He could smell her.

  Flynn tapped on the door, interrupting his moment. “Care for a visitor?”

  Henri opened his eyes, smiling as best as he could. He tried to speak, but Flynn shushed him. He pulled up the blue chair beside the bed, resting his hands on the side of Henri’s bed.

  “You had everyone worried.” Flynn eyes hid the misery he felt on the inside. He told himself to hold it together, not to cry in front of him.

  Henri cracked an even bigger smile. His eyes dull and lacking that brilliance that once bestowed them whenever him and Flynn carried on a conversation.

  “I had me worried,” he said slowly, his voice gruff and unrecognizable. The machine wheezed, catching Flynn off guard.

  �
��What happened?” Flynn raised an eyebrow, leaning closer. Henri’s eye shut and he turned away. “I could guess. I always knew what you were thinking when we were kids.” He took a breath. “I know you were on your way home. I am guessing you ran into somebody on the way.”

  Henri lifted a hand flashing a thumbs up sign. But he didn’t look at Flynn.

  “My guess is Jake Summit.” Flynn crossed his arms, sitting back in the chair. Henri turned his hand downward. Flynn raised his eyebrows confused. He swore it was Jake Summit, who else would hurt Henri in Portwood? But there he sat staring at thumbs down anyway.

  “Than who would want to hurt you, Henri? And most robbers I know take phones and cash they don’t smash windows and beat defenseless guys up.” Flynn sighed. “It was malicious, everyone knows that much.”

  “What does it matter, Flynn?” Henri said, he looked at him. “What does it matter?” His hand dropped to the side like dead weight.

  Flynn scratched his head in confusion. “Because now your surgery is postponed because of the idiot who did this to you.” Flynn whacked the side of his bed in agitation. He didn’t want his cousin to be so nice anymore. For once he wanted him to do the right thing.

  “Maybe this was meant to happen.” Henri shut his eyes. The machines beeped and hissed again. Flynn shook his head, ready to vomit.

  “This wasn’t meant to happen. You were meant to be here. Not here dying because of some jackass that has a problem with you because you’re a better guy for his girlfriend.” Flynn’s jaw flexed in anger. “Don’t do this to us.”

  “I don’t have much of a choice.” Henri cracked a smile. “That’s not how it works.”

  Flynn raked a hand through his hair. “You’re giving up.”

  “I felt something.” Henri opened his eyes. “I felt this presence all around me before I woke up. And I saw her and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.”

  Flynn grimaced. “What are you saying, Henri? You died and came back?”

  “No, I don’t know.” He sighed. “I’m really tired, Flynn. I need to get some rest.”

  Flynn stood, not wanting to leave, but looking at Henri was enough to know he was struggling to carry their conversation. He placed a hand on his shoulder, his fingers slipping in between Henri and the scratchy hospital pillow. “I broke up with Tori.”

  “Finally.” Henri raised his hand trying to meet up with Flynn’s but failed. It dropped back down against the white sheet.

  “So, I need to get back in the game and I need my sidekick. You got to get better.” He squeezed his arm and headed out of the room.

  Flynn returned to the waiting room where Dr. Wilder sat with his family. She clutched some papers in one hand, his mother and her seemed to be deep in conversation. Flynn took the seat beside his mother.

  “So this device…it will help Henri until we can get rid of the infection?”

  Dr. Wilder nodded, looking over her chart. “If all goes well they look to place the device after he has been treated with antibiotics for twenty four hours. This will keep Henri going until we can find another step.”

  “Another step?” Flynn questioned. “What about this procedure he was supposed to have?”

  “Dr. Nevil doesn’t feel Henri is a good candidate after reading over his medical history.” Flynn’s mother dropped her gaze. She had gotten her hopes up for nothing. Something that turned out would never happen for Henri anyway.

  Flynn dropped his head into his hands. “So, now what?”

  “Dr. Wilder was telling us about a device that is used when a patient’s condition is severe. This will keep Henri with us until we can get him a donor.” Flynn’s jaw dropped. Janet’s bottom lip quivered and tears filled her eyes. She shook her head frustrated. “I know, Flynn, don’t remind me.”

  Flynn’s muffled sobs escaped his hands. They all knew the same thing. Henri would never accept a heart. He would refuse to be added to the list. The same nightmare as the last time, the same nightmare all over again.

  Flynn jumped up, ignoring his mother. He rushed down the hall and pushed open Henri’s hospital door. “You have to agree to the donor list.”

  Henri’s eyes opened. He immediately shook his head.

  “Don’t say no. Don’t say anything. Henri you have to do this.” Flynn told him again.

  Henri closed his eyes, shutting Flynn out. But that didn’t make him go away.

  “Think about Maven. Think about all the good times you guys still could have if you go on that list. That’s something worth sticking around for right?” Flynn leaned against the doorway, he didn’t have the strength to sit down beside his dying cousin and beg him to accept the list.

  “I want you to tell her,” Henri said. “Be there for her because she’s going to be miserable because of me.”

  Flynn pushed off the doorframe. “Fuck you, if you don’t want her miserable than go on the damn list, Henri!”

  “She’s going to need someone.”

  “She needs you, not me.” Flynn gritted his teeth. “Agree to the device they want to stick in you and I’ll tell her.”

  “Flynn.”

  Flynn kicked the frame of the door letting out an angry scream, his tennis shoes screeching across the floor of the hospital as he took off.

  Henri dropped his head, closing his eyes. He pictured her eyes, blue and calm staring into him. And soon he felt like he was there with her—right beside her.

  The machines beeped and whirred.

  Take it

  The broadly spread rays of light crawled across the wooden porch, only breaking apart when Flynn’s dress shoes stepped in the middle of the shafts of light. Small particles appeared and then fluttered, disappearing altogether.

  Flynn brought his knuckles down hard on the wooden door. He moved to the side, peering into the small square pane of the door that from where he stood lead into a foyer. He eyed the white and blue porcelain water bowl that sat atop a wooden stand. Probably an antique he thought.

  A young girl, hardly resembling Maven shuffled unhurriedly to the door, her head low, her gaze hidden behind a mess of honey blonde hair. Just as her fingertips met with the knob on her side, she raised her head, her light brown eyes piercing Flynn’s. She pursed her thin crimson lips together, dropping her head to the side and shoved a tuft of hair behind one elflike ear.

  “Can I help you?” She asked, her voice just as he expected, low and lacking enthusiasm. She all but rolled her eyes; it seemed it pained her to stand there and have to socialize with anyone.

  “I’m Flynn, April and Sandra’s brother.” He scanned her expression for signs this was at all ringing a bell. “Henri’s cousin.” He offered, but still she held on to the door handle not impressed.

  “So you’re here for Maven or my brother Nick.” She took two steps backwards allowing him in.

  “Maven. Henri sent me.” He bit down on his bottom lip giving a diminutive smile, his eyes darting around the room taking in the decorations, standing there with a girl such as this one made him uncomfortable.

  “So Henri is alive,” Maggie said. She walked to the bottom of the wooden staircase; her hand grabbing hold of the globular end of the rail, her head fell back as she let out a loud scream. “Maven! You have a visitor!” She turned around, looking at Flynn. “If she’s not sleeping or crying she will be down shortly. Make yourself at home if you like.” And with that she exited, her bare feet not making even the smallest amount of sound on the tan hallway carpeting.

  He had almost forgotten the reason he came, even the reason he was miserable once he met with Maggie. She had a way to pull anyone out of their grief with her barren personality.

  He chose a spot in the den. Where lush brown carpet and the smell of cigar smoke put him at ease, he took a seat in a chair sandwiched between the window and a corner bookshelf. He leaned forward, dropping his arms on his legs and surveyed the assortment of books. Mark Twain, Sylvia Plath, to Poe and some more contemporary such as Judy Blume and Rl Stine and even Jk Rowli
ng.

  He settled into the chair, resting his arms on either side of the fat arm rest. He studied the picture frames precisely placed on the wall furthest away, someone had spent a lot of time making sure they were flawlessly lined into rows. Maven was in virtually every picture out of the ten or so that adorned the wall.

  He stood, studying the first picture. It was Maven wearing one of those outrageously large white hats, in a navy blue and white polka dot bikini, one hand holding the hat down, the other on her slim hip. The wind swept her hair behind her making it look as if it was trying to flee. Her perfectly straight and sparkling white teeth on display for the world to see, she really was stunning he admitted to himself, all the years his family had stayed in Portwood he wondered how he never noticed until his cousin did. He understood why Henri cared. He could see it in every photograph with her in it. She had something special, she oozed something wonderful.

  Maven stood in the doorway. Looking at Flynn still dressed in his clothes from the hop made her feel nervous. It made everything that much more real. She touched the doorframe, watching him stare at her family photos. Finally when it didn’t seem he was going to turn around and see that she was there she cleared her throat.

  Flynn turned on his heels, his dark eyebrows lifted causing a slight horizontal row of creases in his forehead. “Hey…how are you?” The creases smoothed. Flynn stuffed his hands in his pockets, dropping his gaze to the carpet as he found the chair again. He sat down, looking at her.

  She was wearing a navy blue pair of shorts and a billowy white tank top, the bottoms of her shorts cuffed, hitting her high on the thigh. White beads dangled from her neck, and her hair collected in the back in a braided twist secured with a white clip. Small strands falling in her eyes and around her ears as if she had been sleeping before she came down. But he saw no signs of it in her eyes, they were clear and alert.

  “How is he?” She took a seat on the loveseat parked across from him, a dark coffee table between them. She drew one of her legs up tightly, tucking a throw pillow beside her for comfort.