The Read And Weep Bundle: Anonymous, Perfectly Hopeless, Run

by Holly Hood

  I sat up rubbing my arm, trying to figure out what was happening. And why it felt like Mason was losing it.

  I decided I didn’t care what his problem was. I grabbed one of the useless forks from the table and before I knew what I was doing I stabbed Mason in the arm, all my rage coming out of me in waves. I used every ounce of energy to push it deep into Mason’s flesh. He screamed in pain, shock overtaking his face.

  I let go of the fork and picked up a plate throwing it at him. And then I took off out of the room.

  July 15th

  I watched the waiter walk away with an empty tray poised perfectly in one hand. I wondered what I was doing in such a public place when I was wanted. All over the news they were talking about us.

  Jay cut through my racing mind. “You look amazing,” he said with a big smile. He took a sip of his overpriced beer.

  I smiled and nodded trying to choke down the disgusting wine I was politely drinking. I was trying to prove to myself that I was the kind of girl who could be wined and dined. And I was also trying to do something I hadn’t done before, you never knew if you would ever get a chance sometimes.

  “Thanks, Jay. This is a beautiful restaurant.” I said, taking in the dimly lit restaurant, the twinkling candles on every table, the soft music playing and the chatter of everyone around us as they enjoyed fancy meals.

  “I can’t believe you’re the girl Mason was talking about all these years,” Jay said.

  I wasn’t sure what that meant. But I took it as a compliment. He was infatuated with me, and it was attractive.

  I didn’t know how to feel about Jay’s interest in me. I felt like it didn’t matter what I said or did, he just wanted me. I hadn’t had a chance to enjoy Jay’s intentions, nor was I sure if I wanted to. I was to wrapped up in my life and the nightmare that had started unraveling right before my eyes.

  After my fight with Mason left him needing stitches I was still angry. But the bond that Mason and I shared would never go away, I still felt for him. I could never hate him, he was the only one always by my side. And he was going through the same thing I was. And we all handled stress in different ways. So if Mason wanted to lash out at me I was going to accept it.

  Mason wasn’t the first person to ever make me feel horrible. And I knew he wasn’t going to be the last. People flew through my life at a high rate of speed damaging my self-esteem. I had no self-esteem left really, so it didn’t make much sense to stay mad at him.

  “I have a big surprise for you,” Jay said, he dropped his napkin on his plate and left a generous tip on the table.

  I took his hand and we left the restaurant.

  We were by the water, just the two of us. I hadn’t caught sight of another person and I was glad. Jay wrapped an arm around me as we walked the pier. My heels clicked soundly across the wood. I sounded more like a horse then a girl with a beautiful dress on—one that Jay had bought me. I wondered what he saw in such a stupid country girl.

  “Are you cold?” he asked, removing his jacket. I nodded accepting his jacket, I was impressed by his manners. I had never imagined someone that was the partner in crime with Mason over the years even knew what they were.

  I watched the water lazily move making the moon’s reflection dance across its surface. Jay pulled my hair away from my face and planted a kiss on my cheek and then he sat down next to me.

  “Can I ask you something, Jay?” I leaned back against the wooden post.

  “You can ask me anything,” Jay said, taking my hand. He squeezed it waiting for me to ask what was on my mind.

  “What do you want from me?”

  His beautiful blues didn’t flutter or even have to think about it. “Nothing. I just want to be near you,” he kissed me.

  I enjoyed his lips, and the way his hands playfully slid through my hair. His kiss had a way to send shivers down my spine.

  “But I won’t be here for long. We do have to leave sooner or later,” I said giving his lips another try.

  Jay pulled away, he traced my bottom lip with his finger. “I wish you would stay with me. I could take care of everything. I just want to know you more,” his mouth found mine and I smiled at the soft nibble of my bottom lip. He grinned waiting for me to say I felt the same way.

  I thought about. My mind was blank, I had nothing to say.

  “Just tell me you feel the same way, Kendall and I can make all your problems go away for you,” he said, his expression turning serious. He wasn’t joking.

  I looked away, inhaling the fresh air, my heart racing. Jay wanted me, a girl he was attracted to. He thought I was beautiful. He wanted a girl that complimented him, a girl that he could stand to be around. Someone he could see marrying.

  The problem with what Jay wanted was none of it included Mason. And I wasn’t willing to hang Mason out to dry. I wasn’t selfish. I wouldn’t leave Mason to fend for himself. I could never be that cruel and heartless.

  I tugged on the collar of his shirt and smiled at him.

  “Why don’t you show me this surprise,” I asked, surely this was enough to forget the conversation I didn’t want to have with him.

  He took my hand accepting defeat and we headed further down the pier to one of the biggest boats I had ever seen. The moonlight bounced off of it as it bobbed around in the water. It was the kind of boat you saw the celebrities on in the magazines.

  He helped me climb aboard and once I was seated he opened a bottle of champagne. The sound of Jay opening it echoed the quiet night.

  “This is the surprise, to show me that you’re disgustingly rich?” I laughed.

  Jay sat down next to me, amused by me. “No, I was thinking the boat would be romantic. And if that didn’t work I could try other ways to make you never want to leave me.”

  I shook my head. He was for sure confident. “You’re really cocky. Sex can’t convince someone to want to be with somebody else. It’s simply an added bonus,” I told him.

  “It’s one of the best parts if you know what you’re doing,” he took my glass of champagne and set it down, and started unbuttoning his shirt, one glorious button at a time, his eyes pinned on me as he did so.

  I watched carefully a little nervous what was to come next.

  “Jay, I appreciate everything you’ve done for Mason and I,” I said, Jay shushed me. He pulled me to my feet.

  “I don’t want to talk about Mason right now,” he said, his hand finding my neck. I closed my eyes at the feel of his lips against my neck. He was hard to resist.

  “I don’t want to talk about him either. What I’m trying to say is—” His mouth collided with mine. He backed me up and pushed me down on the bench climbing on top of me.

  I ran my hands down his chest. Jay carefully undressed me, taking his time to enjoy my bare skin.

  “What were you trying to say?” he asked, his hands taking hold of my thighs, he pulled me closer staring down at me. I bit my lip enjoying his strength and aggressiveness.

  “I don’t want to lead you on,” I said as he freed me from my dress. He let it fall to the floor.

  “I think you’re amazing. And I want you right now,” he insisted.

  I smiled, undoing his belt. Who was I to say whether his feelings were real or not?

  “Do you want me?” Jay asked, helping me get him out of his pants. I laughed, it was funny. A guy as stunning as him there was nothing I wouldn’t want. But beyond that I didn’t know.

  I stared at his flawless skin, his perfectly toned body and muscular body that would make any girl drool.

  I knew what I wanted. So I nodded in agreement, enjoying this amazing guy, every part of him.

  And he was right, sex with him was impressive. Amazing didn’t begin to cover it. I wondered if he was even human.

  But even with great sex, somebody else was still on my mind—Mason.

  July 19th

  I clicked off the website I was on just as Mason came up behind me. He handed over an iced tea with a lemon wedge garnishing the g
lass. I gave a small smile and took a sip. The coolness quenched my parched mouth.

  We were still at Jay’s and sadly I was trying to avoid him. He was constantly trying to persuade me to stay in Jersey with him. And it wasn’t going to happen.

  “What’s so interesting?” Mason asked eyeing the computer behind me. I shrugged his question off.

  “Nothing just celebrity gossip,” I lied. I wasn’t about to tell him that I did a google search and discovered Aunt Wanda and Payton were caught by police on the way into Canada. I knew it would do to him the same thing it did to me—create a hollow hole in the pit of his stomach.

  I was sure Aunt Wanda and Payton would rat us out in a heartbeat, if it kept them from going down. The fun and games for them was over and I could only imagine what the two of them were thinking right about now.

  I appreciated my freedom.

  Mason’s expression fell as he walked away and took a seat on the bed. I sighed.

  “I didn’t want to say anything,” I said taking a seat next to him. Mason groaned getting up and taking off out the door. I hurried after him. “Mason, I didn’t want to upset you.”

  Mason kept right on down the stairs not giving me a chance to even explain my secrecy.

  Jay snagged my arm as I rounded the corner trying to stop Mason from taking off. “Upset who?”

  I bit my lip, now wasn’t the time to play cutsie with Jay. We had a big problem on our hands. And it didn’t matter how cute Jay was he didn’t fix things. “It’s nothing. I just need to talk to Mason.”

  Jay nodded that he understood and kissed my forehead letting me finish my mad dash out the door to Mason.

  “I’m sick of watching him play cute and cuddly with you,” Mason said as I approached him on the patio.

  “Me too,” I said in agreement. “That’s not what I came out here to talk to you about though. Mason, I don’t know how to even begin to say this to you.” I took a deep breath.

  Mason gave me a confused look. He raised an eyebrow.

  “They caught Wanda and Payton,” I said finally, I immediately grabbed him by the arm waiting for some kind of reaction. “Mason are you okay?”

  “We are standing in a house probably worth ten million dollars and you think that I wouldn’t know this by now?” He raked a hand through his hair and shook his head. “I don’t even need to surf the internet to figure that one out.”

  My mouth went dry as Mason stood in front of me informing me that he had been one step ahead of me the whole time.

  “So what do we do now?” I asked.

  “Jay said he wanted you to stay here. He can help you. That’s a pretty sweet deal, Kendall,” Mason told me, he avoided my glare.

  “No,” I burst into tears at the thought of letting Mason fend for himself.

  Mason grabbed my shoulders and stared me down. “What the hell do you mean no?” He was angry at me for refusing.

  “I am not leaving you to figure this out on your own. What about you, what are you going to do?” I sobbed even harder sick to my stomach at the thought of Mason alone.

  “Kendall, who cares about me, I care about you. Stop crying.” He wiped my face. “I’m an asshole most days, but I want you to get out of this mess. I want you to be happy.” He lifted my chin forcing me to look at him.

  “I care about you more than anything. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do if it meant you didn’t have to go through hell anymore. And we both know that’s how it will turn out,” he said, kissing me on the cheek, he forced a small smile, and for a second I saw the old Mason.

  “I don’t want to lose you. You’re the only person I trust. And you’ve always been there for me,” I sobbed, hardly able to catch a breath as I begged him to see how stupid he was being.

  “I want you to stay here with Jay. What’s not to like about him?” he asked, trying to be funny. I shook my head refusing to entertain his stupid idea. “Kendall, you like him. It’s obvious.”

  “I don’t care.” I pushed Mason away from me. “I like a lot of things. We have gone through this together. And I will not let you go down alone.”

  “Then you’re even more stupid then I thought,” Mason said, he crossed his arms agitated.

  Jay came out of the kitchen door. He looked at Mason, waiting for Mason to speak. I looked between the two of them confused.

  “She’s not going to do it,” Mason said finally. Jay hurried toward me, I quickly moved away sick to my stomach at the realization of everything. Mason and Jay were in cahoots, trying to make a choice for me, trying to manipulate me, as if it were that simple.

  “Was this all one big conspiracy?” I looked at Jay. “You were sweeping me off my feet to help Mason with his problem?”

  Jay opened his mouth to speak, but I interrupted him. It all made perfect sense now.

  “Did you think I was that stupid?”

  Jay shook his head. “I really like you , Kendall. This favor was just an added bonus.”

  “I don’t like you and I don’t care if I ever see you again. You can take all your money and your help and shove it up your ass,” I said full of venom.

  Mason groaned.

  “I guess I’m all out of options, I wish you both the best,” Jay said, he was obviously hurt. “Anything I can help you with that’s on the up and up let me know.”

  He went inside letting the door slam behind him.

  I looked at Mason. He looked away.

  I wished he understood he was all I knew, my only answer to figuring everything out. I was scared though that he might not know that answer either. He wasn’t so confident anymore.

  I sat down next to Mason on the steps. His body was tense. He had his head down, and he was twisting his hand in angst.

  I bit my tongue, holding off on saying anything until I found the right words, something that would take his pain away, if only for a moment.

  Mason looked over at me.

  “Mason, I love you.” I blurted. I brought my hands to my mouth in shock. I stared at Mason with wide eyes shocked at my words.

  “I love you too, Kendall.”

  If you listened closely you could hear the ocean from the patio. You could feel freedom right from the porch steps. The water so close yet so far away.

  I took Mason’s hand in mine, our fingers interlocking. I tried to squeeze some life back into him. I wanted him to be the old Mason again, not this depressed version of his former self.

  “I love you,” I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder.

  He let out a breath, pulling me close, and kissed me on the cheek softly.

  I think I made him feel better if only for that moment.

  July 21st

  I could name about fifty horrible moments in my life. The time when we were held at gunpoint at a truck stop, and Aunt Wanda drove away without me. I was only thirteen.

  The level of fear that coursed through me as I stood there helpless against two men was terrifying. That was the first time I had to fight for my life, and I mean literally fight.

  Those men were sorry they ever messed with me after I got done with them. I kicked one so hard in the nuts I was sure he probably never had kids after meeting cute little Kendall at that truck stop.

  Aunt Wanda eventually circled back around. She smelled of booze and the car let out a cloud of cigarette smoke as she flung the passenger door open to let me back in.

  “How long would you say it’s been since you were home?” Mason asked as we packed our things. We were getting read t leave Jay’s. And we were heading back to our tiny hometown of Gusby, South Carolina. Sure, I might have been known for lying about where I came from my whole life practically, but it all comes out in the end I learned. I was a southern girl, as southern as they came even when I didn’t want to be.

  “I don’t even know, I can’t really remember. Maybe ten years,” I said, I hated talking about it.

  Mason zipped up the backpack and sat down on the bed. “The last time I saw you on those busted porch steps was
when you were seven and I was nine,” he said. He looked at me to confirm, there was nothing to confirm, I didn’t remember.

  I hurried over to my backpack and started unpacking and refolding the shirts. My nerves were getting the best of me and I needed to keep busy before I lost it.

  “That’s a long time,” I said, looking away.

  “A really long time,” Mason agreed.

  Nobody would have ever guessed Mason was a guy that came from South Carolina. He was nothing like the slow souls that slithered their way through life not a care in the world. He had grown out of it all the years on the run.

  He learned to be fast. He learned how to think on his feet to get himself out of any situation. He adjusted to every place he called home no matter how brief.

  I thought back when Mason was eighteen, Payton got involved with a pimp in New Mexico. And Mason despised his mother so much at the time, but he wouldn’t leave. Instead he did everything he could do to annoy this man until he beat Mason senseless. I had never seen someone so bruised, but he smiled all the way to the hospital. Mason knew as long as he hadn’t died his Mother would get rid of her man after what he did to her son. And he was right, he left before the cops showed up when neighbors called them.

  We had been through a lot of crap plain and simple. We had stories that people would never believe. We lived through things you only saw in the movies if you were lucky.

  And in the end we were coming back to where we came from. The place we first laid eyes on each other. I remembered it like yesterday. We had formed a bond from the beginning. I knew Mason would always be my protector. He would always be the guy that I could count on.

  “Well, at least we can say we got to fly in a private jet,” Mason said, taking my backpack from me. Jay was letting us use the family jet to get back home. And we were thrilled because I didn’t want any more road trips.

  I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was the last place I ever expected to be heading in my life. But now that so much had changed it seemed like the right choice. I didn’t want the last bit of my life to be on the road trying to make it back to the beginning, back to where it all began, back to my real home.