by Todd, E. L.
I breathed a sigh of relief, glad that the confrontation was finally over.
Kyle came back to me then grabbed me by both arms. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“No, I’m fine.”
The relief flashed in his eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” His hands moved across my body, feeling me everywhere, checking for injuries.
“I’m okay,” I whispered. “He didn’t touch me.”
“We need to call the police right now.”
“And what will that do?” I said miserably.
“It’s called assault and breaking and entering.”
He didn’t break in. I let him in.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he snapped.
“A boy was at the door,” I said. “I didn’t know he was tricking me.”
“We still need to talk to the police.”
“I’ve already been through this. I even got a restraining order against him. It doesn’t do anything. I can guarantee if you called the police it would have taken them at least an hour to get here. Domestic disputes aren’t important to them. Believe me.”
“So what? That’s it? You’re screwed? I don’t accept that.”
“That’s why I ran away.”
He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Okay.”
Kyle grabbed my face and kissed me gently on the lips, breathing into my mouth for a moment before he kissed my forehead. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
My lips felt numb from his touch. “Yeah…”
He held me to his chest and ran his fingers through my hair. “I’ll never let him bother you again.”
“I know.”
He buried his face in my neck and held me close, saying nothing for a long time.
“I need to get a new apartment.”
“Yes.”
“And I need to do it now.”
“It can wait until tomorrow.”
“No. It has to be now. When I know for certain that he isn’t around.” I pulled away and then walked back into the apartment, grabbing my computer. “Start packing anything and everything. I’ll find a place.”
“Okay,” he said.
I grabbed my phone and called my two friends, telling them what happened and I desperately needed their help. Of course, they were there in a heartbeat.
When Janet saw me, she hugged me and started crying. “You’re okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said as I rubbed her back.
“Thank god,” she whispered. She pulled away then hugged Kyle tightly. “Thank you so much for being here.”
He patted her on the back. “Of course.”
Cassie came next, looking livid and insanely pissed. “I’m this close to getting a gun and shooting his fucking brains out.”
“I like her,” Kyle blurted.
“Are you okay?” Cassie asked.
“I’m fine,” I said. “We need to get moving. I want to be out of the apartment before tomorrow. This is the only way I know he won’t find me.”
“Let’s get moving,” Cassie said immediately.
Kyle picked up his phone and talked to someone for a few minutes.
We worked for an hour before there was a knock on the door. I flinched at the sound.
Kyle opened it and two guys walked in.
“This is my friend Jay and my brother Scott. They’ll be helping us,” he said.
I stared at them then extended my hand. “I’m Layla.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Scott said. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”
“Thanks…”
Jay shook my hand and nodded. He was even taller than Kyle. His light brown hair and brown eyes contrasted against Kyle’s. Scott definitely looked related to Kyle. They had the same color eyes and the same build.
We worked together and packed everything. The guys moved everything down to a U-Haul Kyle rented. I found a place a few blocks away, closer to work and to Kyle’s. While the girls and I got everything together, the men moved the major appliances. Everyone was quiet. Perhaps it was because of the trauma I just experienced or because they were tired. I wasn’t sure. But it took us all night to move everything. At five AM everything was shoved into my new, better apartment.
After my girls hugged me, they left to go to work. Jay and Scott waved when they left. Only Kyle remained behind.
“Did we get everything?” he asked, blinking the fatigue from his eyes.
“Yeah.”
He sat on my couch in the middle of the room and leaned back.
“Thank you for helping me. And for having your friends help.”
Kyle patted the seat next to him, beckoning me to him.
I sat down and he pulled me to his chest, holding me.
“You don’t need to thank me,” he whispered. He kissed my forehead then ran his fingers through my hair. The touch made my spine shiver. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. First we were holding hands and now he was kissing me. It was unexpected.
“I should get ready for work,” he said.
“If I weren’t new, I’d call in sick.”
He laughed. “I’ve been there for a long time and I still can’t call in sick.” He sat up and looked at me. “Will you be okay alone?”
I nodded. “I feel much better now that I’m in a new apartment.”
“How did he figure out where you lived?”
“I don’t know. I worked at the bar for a long time. I suspect he started there.”
“That makes sense,” he said. “I’m glad you have a new job. That should throw him off. New York is a big place. He’ll have a hard time finding you, especially when I’m around.” He clenched his fists together, making his knuckles turn white.
I opened the door and let him out.
“I’ll see you soon,” he said, kissing me on the forehead again. I felt paralyzed by his touch. He turned down the hallway and left. I shut the door and felt the confusion flood my body. I said I didn’t want to date him and be in a relationship but I felt like that was exactly what happened. It made me feel panicked. After what just happened with John, I wasn’t ready for that.
9
When I got to work, I was a total zombie. Joanna asked me to help her with her solitaire game and I was totally useless. I couldn’t even see the cards. I went to my office and worked at a snail’s pace. I had to double check all my work because I had a strong suspicion I made a lot of errors.
Kyle came to my office for lunch. “There are sandwiches in the break room.” He placed one on my desk and sat across from me. “So no, I didn’t buy it for you,” he teased.
I nodded but didn’t say anything.
“What do you want to do tonight?”
“Uh, nothing.”
“You want to come to my place and watch a movie?”
“I’m just going to lay low tonight.”
“You want me to come over?” he asked.
“No, it’s okay.”
He watched me, suspicion clouding his mind. “What’s on your mind, Layla?
“I’m just tired.”
“Well, there’s this new French restaurant I want to try. We should go tomorrow night.”
“Are we in a relationship now?” I snapped.
He abandoned his sandwich and put it aside. “Sorry. What?”
“You’re kissing me…and…expecting to see me every night….and I just don’t want that. I said I didn’t want to date you and you just did it anyway.”
Kyle stared at me for a long time, his eyes empty and dead. He rubbed his chin then ran his fingers through his hair. Finally, he stood up then closed the door to my office. He marched to my desk and stared me down. He took a deep breath before he exploded.
“You better be fucking kidding me.” His voice was low so he wouldn’t be overhead, but the anger and menace in his voice made me flinch. “I just risked my life to protect you, attacking a
guy with a goddman knife, and this is how you are acting? That’s just…wow. I only kissed you because I knew you wanted me to. Perhaps this is a news flash for you because you are only aware of your surroundings but nothing that has to deal with you personally, but we’ve been in a relationship since the day we met. You’re one of those annoying people that can’t stand labels, but that’s exactly what we are. We’ve been on dates, we’ve spent time together, we are intimate together, and you love being around me. There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t trust me. None whatsoever. So pull your head out of your ass and stop acting like a child.”
I stood and glared at him. “I said I didn’t want to date you. You manipulated me anyway.”
“Yeah. What’s your point? I knew I had to take things slow with you. That’s exactly what I did. And to be honest, most guys wouldn’t put with this, Layla.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? No one else would ever want me?”
“No, it means that I really fucking like you if I went above and beyond for this relationship. I know you have feelings for me and I know you want me. Just accept me. Stop making it complicated. Stop ruining it. Just be happy, Layla.”
“I’m not ready for a relationship.”
“Why?”
“It’s none of your business.”
He came around the desk and pushed me into the chair, leaning over me and blocking me in. “Yes it is my fucking business. Was that guy your ex-boyfriend? So you were in an abusive relationship and you finally got out of it and left? I suspected it that night you asked me to walk you home. I was prepared for something like that to happen. Don’t let him ruin your life, Layla. I’m not like him. I’m not controlling, abusive, or even mean.”
“I—I don’t know.”
“I’ve been fighting for you for a long time. I’ve never dated someone who treated me so poorly. I’ve been putting up with it because I know you need that time, but I’m not doing it anymore. Accept me as your boyfriend and let’s take this slow. I’ll be as patient as you want, as understanding as you need, but don’t push me away and act like I don’t mean anything to you. That’s just wrong, Layla. So it’s up to you. You can be my friend or you can be my girlfriend. What’s it going to be?”
I averted my gaze and looked at the desk.
He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him. “No, you need to look at me when you say it.”
I wasn’t ready for this. It happened so quickly that I didn’t notice it. Kyle did mean something to me, but I was too weak to be in a relationship. What if I just repeated all of those same mistakes? And I couldn’t let my past hurt Kyle. John shouldn’t be able to find me but what if he did? Kyle would be his first fatality. I was an empty vessel, feeling rejection over and over. I couldn’t handle it if Kyle hurt me. I wasn’t strong enough, whole enough to care for another person besides myself. “I—I’m just not—”
“Got it.” He released me then left my office, not looking back once.
I watched the open doorway, processing what just happened. I tried to get back to work but I felt distracted the entire time. The time passed slowly until my shift was over. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing that I hurt Kyle profoundly. When the workday was over, I turned off the lights and locked my office.
Kyle’s door was already closed and the lights were off. I wasn’t sure why I was surprised. It wouldn’t make sense for him to wait for me. With a heavy heart, I left the building and went back to my apartment. When I got inside, I lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling. My bedframe was in the room, but the mattresses were in the living room and the blankets were in a box. I didn’t feel like getting everything ready. Instead, I closed my eyes and started to cry.
My phone rang and I looked at it, hoping it would be Kyle. It was Janet. I ignored it. But she called again because she knew I was off work.
“Yeah?” I said quietly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
I sniffed.
“Are you crying?”
“A little,” I whispered.
“I’ll come over.”
“Okay.”
“See you soon.”
“Bye.” I hung up.
A half hour later, there was a knock on the door. When I looked through the peephole, it was Janet. I opened the door and let her in.
Janet looked at me with a saddened expression. “Is it John?”
“No,” I said as I shook my head. “It’s—Kyle.”
“What happened?”
I walked to the couch and sat down. “We kinda broke up, I guess.”
“What? Why?”
“It was moving too fast. He kissed me and kept holding me. I’m—I’m just not ready for that. I told him I didn’t want to date him or being in a relationship, but he did it anyway.”
She shook her head. “It takes two people to be in a relationship, Layla. If he was there, so were you.”
“I just don’t want that.”
“But you clearly do.”
“No, I’m not ready. I—I can’t go through that again.”
“Layla, he isn’t like John—at all.” Janet shook her head. “Don’t throw him away for something so stupid.”
“I can’t be in a relationship with him when I’m this messed up. That’s not fair either.”
“If you were honest with him, I’m sure he’d be fine with it. It seems pretty clear that he really, really cares for you.”
“Well, he shouldn’t.”
Janet shook her head. “Don’t be like that, Layla. You’re an amazing girl. Don’t let your past ruin your future.”
“I’ve made my decision.”
“Well, it’s a stupid one,” she snapped. “You’re really going to let this guy get away? I’ve been single for a while. Believe me, there aren’t too many guys like him. I would have dated him in a heartbeat. Shit, if he was willing to go to such great lengths to protect me, I would die from happiness. You’re my friend and I love you, but I’m sorry, but you’re being so fucking stupid right now.”
“Thanks,” I said bitterly.
“I say this to help you. I don’t want you to make the wrong decision.”
“Well, it’s too late.”
“When he starts seeing someone else you’re going to regret this, Layla. And by then, it’ll be too late.”
“You should go,” I whispered. I stared straight ahead, avoiding her look.
“That’s how it’s going to be?” she asked, glaring at me.
“I want to be alone.”
“Fine. Shut me out like you do to everyone else.” She stood up and walked to the door. “I hope you get off your ass and make the right decision, Layla.” Janet shut the door behind her and left me alone in the dark.
10
Every day at work, I hardly saw Kyle. His office was right next to mine, but he never visited me. And he was never in the break room. If he ever needed to specify directions to me, he communicated through email, the least personal way possible.
When Taylor came to my office and asked me out, Kyle didn’t intervene. He stayed in his office the entire time. When I finally asked Taylor to leave, he just kept talking to me. To avoid the situation, I went to the bathroom and stayed there for a long time before I returned. By then, he was gone.
The only friend I had at work was Joanna, and that was because she always asked me to help her with solitaire. But the companionship was nice. We never discussed anything real, just a fictitious game that didn’t have any bearing on real life. It was a nice escape.
The weeks passed and nothing changed. Kyle avoided me whenever possible. He didn’t walk me home, call me, or act like I even existed. When he came into my office one afternoon, I flinched. I forgot how beautiful and handsome he was. His tie had spots of yellow like it usually did.
“Can I speak to you for a moment, Ms. Gallagher?” he asked, his hands in his pockets.
I didn’t like it when he
called me that. “Layla is fine.”
He ignored me. “I think you’re ready to start working on the pieces of the magazine. I’ll send you articles, and when they are completed, you will send them to me for final inspection. Afterwards, I’ll send it to the chief editor of the magazine. Then it’ll be published. Congratulations.” He seemed so calm and detached; like he was giving a boring report to someone he was indifferent to.
“That’s great,” I said weakly.
“Yeah.” He stepped back and turned toward the door. “Have a good day.”
“Kyle?”
“Mr. Benedict,” he corrected. “And what?”
His voice was so cold. “Did you watch the game last night?”
“I have season tickets. I was there.”
“I couldn’t believe the A’s lost that bad.”
“Yeah,” he said. He turned to walk away again.
“Mr. Benedict?”
He sighed. “Yes, Ms. Gallagher?”
“I watched the Godfather last night. It’s not that bad,” I said with a laugh. “I understand why you like it so much.”
He stared at me, his eyes hollow. “Congratulations on expanding your knowledge of film and the entertainment arts. Now if you excuse me, I’m needed elsewhere.” He turned and walked out of the office, making me feel like the smallest person in the world.
When I was home, I didn’t do anything. I start watching a lot of TV. Every time I read a book, I thought of Kyle so I stopped. I wasn’t sure what the association was. Janet and I didn’t talk since our last argument. When Cassie and I hung out, neither of us spoke about her. It was awkward to say the least.
When I was at work late one night, and the rest of workers left, I shut my office door and locked it. I heard two people talking from Kyle’s office. One of the voices was definitely feminine. Since everyone was gone, it made me feel sick to my stomach. The woman laughed loudly and Kyle joined her. His door opened and he walked out, holding a girl’s hand. The sight broke my heart. When I recognized Janet, I froze.
“Where do you want to eat?” Kyle asked as he put his arm around her shoulder.
“I don’t care. Just somewhere with good lighting so I can stare at you.”
“Well, let’s go somewhere dark afterward so I can do inappropriate things to you,” he said as he pressed his lips to her ear.